Hunting With a Hammer [Archive] - Pirate4x4.Com Bulletin Board

Rip DeLips

07-11-2003, 09:06 AM

I can't beleive you would use an 8 pounder!!! :eek: :eek:

Even the drunkest of whino's can duck a slow swinging sledge man. Everybody knows that. Get a job with a framing crew and get yourself a well balanced 20 ouncer. It's all about accuracy man. Oh yeah, word to the wize, the hammers with the waffled nailing face tend to not slip off the whino's skull as easily. It really helps if the bastard stumbles a bit right as you start your swing. :flipoff2:

proletariat

07-11-2003, 09:06 AM

go to the playground. You'll find the fat kids are easier to catch AND bait.

mudmaid

07-11-2003, 09:07 AM

Originally posted by Buddha's Ghost
So I like to prowl the alleys of Seattle at night tracking winos. My weapon of choice is an 8 pound sledge, as it makes the hunt extremely invigorating without making it too easy. I'm trying to find something to use as a practice target so I can perfect my swing for the most humane method. Any other wino hunters out there have target ideas?

:laughing: :laughing: :laughing:

Just Some Asshole

07-11-2003, 09:09 AM

Bum hunting with a sledge is like Deer hunting with a bazooka, I use a table leg with a nail in it, quick humane kills and it makes the hunt more sporting too!

TEX

07-11-2003, 09:10 AM

Originally posted by Rip DeLips
I can't beleive you would use an 8 pounder!!! :eek: :eek:

Even the drunkest of whino's can duck a slow swinging sledge man. Everybody knows that. Get a job with a framing crew and get yourself a well balanced 20 ouncer. It's all about accuracy man. Oh yeah, word to the wize, the hammers with the waffled nailing face tend to not slip off the whino's skull as easily. It really helps if the bastard stumbles a bit right as you start your swing. :flipoff2:

Pffft, 20-ouncer is only for headshots, and even then only in ideal light & wind conditions. Sometimes, you have a wino quartering away from you where only a glancing body blow will work. I'll take a heavy, slow-moving sledge anytime :flipoff2:

TEX

Dieselmh

07-11-2003, 09:11 AM

I prefer to print out all of DRM's posts and bore the whinos to death! It's not nearly as humane, but you get to watch their heads explode in slow motion! :flipoff2:

Rip DeLips

07-11-2003, 09:15 AM

Originally posted by TEX

Pffft, 20-ouncer is only for headshots, and even then only in ideal light & wind conditions. Sometimes, you have a wino quartering away from you where only a glancing body blow will work. I'll take a heavy, slow-moving sledge anytime :flipoff2:

TEX

Well, I'm actually getting into competition whino bashing. I'd like to see you get off a second swing with an 8 pounder on the whino's drunken buddy as he dives for the bottle of Richard's before it hits the ground. Maybe you should start carrying a 20 ouncer for back up. :D

Dieselmh

07-11-2003, 09:16 AM

Two words.

Nail gun! :flipoff2:

The Joker

07-11-2003, 09:17 AM

Hmmm making me rethink my method of using a 34" Loisville. I prefer to keep a little distance. Had one clip me with his OE bottle one time.

But then that takes some of the sport out of it.

Better yet get up close and personal

FORK

TEX

07-11-2003, 09:20 AM

Originally posted by Rip DeLips

Well, I'm actually getting into competition whino bashing. I'd like to see you get off a second swing with an 8 pounder on the whino's drunken buddy as he dives for the bottle of Richard's before it hits the ground. Maybe you should start carrying a 20 ouncer for back up. :D

I'm not sure I'm too keen on the ethics of competition wino bashing. All of my winos go right into the freezer to feed my family for the Winter. I'm also not too thrilled with the trophy hunters who only take winos with no obvious physical deformities. You should be thankful for every wino you bash, even the skinny little 80-year-olds.

TEX

Joe_W

07-11-2003, 09:28 AM

Originally posted by Just Some Asshole
Bum hunting with a sledge is like Deer hunting with a bazooka, I use a table leg with a nail in it, quick humane kills and it makes the hunt more sporting too!

:rolleyes: Who cares about humane, do you really think the bum CARES about how he's going to wind up dead, end result is all the same

Rip DeLips

07-11-2003, 09:28 AM

Originally posted by TEX

I'm not sure I'm too keen on the ethics of competition wino bashing. All of my winos go right into the freezer to feed my family for the Winter. I'm also not too thrilled with the trophy hunters who only take winos with no obvious physical deformities. You should be thankful for every wino you bash, even the skinny little 80-year-olds.

TEX

I guess I should enlighten you on competitions then. All kills are taken to the weigh in station and scored based on accuracy of blows, number of blows used in kill, and number of gold teeth still left in tact. Once scored, they are ground up and taken to the homeless shelter to make chili for the hungry. So it's really not as unethical as it sounds and the pay outs on some of these tourney's can make a man a damn good living doing what he loves. :D

Joe_W

07-11-2003, 09:30 AM

Originally posted by Rip DeLips

I guess I should enlighten you on competitions then. All kills are taken to the weigh in station and scored based on accuracy of blows, number of blows used in kill, and number of gold teeth still left in tact. Once scored, they are ground up and taken to the homeless shelter to make chili for the hungry. So it's really not as unethical as it sounds and the pay outs on some of these tourney's can make a man a damn good living doing what he loves. :D

Hold on a minute, your feeding winos to winos :rolleyes: Don't you wonder how Mad Wino Disease starts????

Dieselmh

07-11-2003, 09:33 AM

Originally posted by Joe_W

Don't you wonder how Mad Wino Disease starts????

Watered down whiskey? :D

APRILRAZZ

07-11-2003, 09:34 AM

Sounds like grest excersise! Think Ritchard Simmons will come out with a new tape?
Wino bashing to the oldies:flipoff2:

Dieselmh

07-11-2003, 09:35 AM

Have you guys ever accidentally mistaken a drunken partygoer for a whino? If so, what do you do? This one time I clocked some "whino" that ended up being a rich guy that had come out of a bar and passed out. I just took his wallet and left his body there to feed the other whinos, but I'm wondering what I should do next time.

Rip DeLips

07-11-2003, 09:36 AM

Originally posted by Joe_W

Hold on a minute, your feeding winos to winos :rolleyes: Don't you wonder how Mad Wino Disease starts????

There's enough booze in the chili that they aren't mad at all. Totally ethical circle of events I tell ya.

Rip DeLips

07-11-2003, 09:37 AM

Dieselmh

07-11-2003, 09:39 AM

Originally posted by Rip DeLips

Dude, that's instant disqualification in tounaments. You've really got to be on top of your game if you're going to compete.

I'm talking strictly amateur, I don't really have the free time to go pro! In hindsight, I guess the expensive jewelry, nice clothes, and chaufer standing over him going "He's not a bum, he's not a bum!" as I was clubbing him should've given me a clue to his richness, but Oh well, watchya gonna do? What's done is done. :D

Rip DeLips

07-11-2003, 09:41 AM

Originally posted by Dieselmh

I'm talking strictly amateur, I don't really have the free time to go pro! In hindsight, I guess the expensive jewelry, nice clothes, and chaufer standing over him going "He's not a bum, he's not a bum!" as I was clubbing him should've given me a clue to his richness, but Oh well, watchya gonna do? What's done is done. :D

My primary sponsor, Plumb, is looking for new talent. Tighten up those skills and get some more practice...I'll put in a good word for ya. ;)

TEX

07-11-2003, 09:44 AM

Originally posted by Dieselmh
Have you guys ever accidentally mistaken a drunken partygoer for a whino? If so, what do you do? This one time I clocked some "whino" that ended up being a rich guy that had come out of a bar and passed out. I just took his wallet and left his body there to feed the other whinos, but I'm wondering what I should do next time.

Well, if it's before 9:00 p.m., they're in season as long as you can prove some level of intoxication or at least an easily detectable body odor. So, you just have to get 'em to the check-in station on time, unlike the winos that have no limits on hunting hours.

Now, on the competition thing, I still think perhaps catch&release wino hunting should be practiced for the tourneys. I mean, if we overhunt the winos during comps, it could make recreational wino bashing a lot more difficult. And unless we're able to lobby for an open season on assholes, I'm afraid the sport might suffer.

TEX

Dieselmh

07-11-2003, 09:48 AM

Originally posted by Rip DeLips

My primary sponsor, Plumb, is looking for new talent. Tighten up those skills and get some more practice...I'll put in a good word for ya. ;)

Do they supply the weapons too, or just the hunting clothes and bait?

Tex, if we are successful in opening an "asshole" season, how will we have to show proof. If I declare that someone is an asshole are they fair game, or do I have to provide witnesses?

Rip DeLips

07-11-2003, 09:48 AM

Originally posted by TEX

Now, on the competition thing, I still think perhaps catch&release wino hunting should be practiced for the tourneys. I mean, if we overhunt the winos during comps, it could make recreational wino bashing a lot more difficult. And unless we're able to lobby for an open season on assholes, I'm afraid the sport might suffer.

TEX

Hey, don't point your finger at us man...it's those f'n commercial netters that are fawkin up the whino stocks. :mad:

You just wouldn't beleive all the mandatory throw-backs at the culling tables on the trawl trucks...women, kids, dogs, you name it. All killed for nothing! Fawkin' comms!!! Totally raping the resource! :mad: :mad:

morpheus

07-11-2003, 09:48 AM

Originally posted by Dieselmh

I'm talking strictly amateur, I don't really have the free time to go pro! In hindsight, I guess the expensive jewelry, nice clothes, and chaufer standing over him going "He's not a bum, he's not a bum!" as I was clubbing him should've given me a clue to his richness, but Oh well, watchya gonna do? What's done is done. :D

come awn man, always check the shoes first ... it's a dead giveaway. most whino's have mismatching shoes or the right shoe on the left foot or vice-versa. if you're even thinking of turning pro or even semi-pro you've got to get this down.

- jack

usmcdoc14

07-11-2003, 09:51 AM

old school fawkers :rolleyes: get with times, high speed low drag, ergonomic grip to prevent fatigue durring long hunts, wrist strap when ya get blood slick, and a trip hook to take down the runners
http://www.mtntools.com/cat/alpineice/axes/images/bd_viper.jpg

Dieselmh

07-11-2003, 09:53 AM

Originally posted by usmcdoc14
old school fawkers :rolleyes: get with times, high speed low drag, ergonomic grip to prevent fatigue durring long hunts, wrist strap when ya get blood slick, and a trip hook to take down the runners
http://www.mtntools.com/cat/alpineice/axes/images/bd_viper.jpg

I'm savin' up for that, but for now, all I have is this!

http://www.cal1850.com/Library/Images/hammer_wood.gif

Rip DeLips

07-11-2003, 09:54 AM

Originally posted by usmcdoc14
old school fawkers :rolleyes: get with times, high speed low drag, ergonomic grip to prevent fatigue durring long hunts, wrist strap when ya get blood slick, and a trip hook to take down the runners
http://www.mtntools.com/cat/alpineice/axes/images/bd_viper.jpg

Looks like I need a new sponsor! Damn that's a sweet whino whacker!!!

APRILRAZZ

07-11-2003, 09:54 AM

Originally posted by usmcdoc14
old school fawkers :rolleyes: get with times, high speed low drag, ergonomic grip to prevent fatigue durring long hunts, wrist strap when ya get blood slick, and a trip hook to take down the runners
http://www.mtntools.com/cat/alpineice/axes/images/bd_viper.jpg
Don't know if thats legal in comps yet.

morpheus

07-11-2003, 09:56 AM

what kind of night vision gear do you guys use ? I must admit that while I've been saving for the night vision gear I've resorted to just blinding them with the q-beam :rolleyes: I'm looking for a sponsor.

- jack

Bobzooki

07-11-2003, 09:57 AM

I'm surprised nobody here goes for the real heavy assault approach. I prefer to use a six foot spud bar, but I've got a custom bar made by cutting two bars in half, and welding the halves with the flattened ends together. At about 30 pounds, you have to really work out to get that lightning-fast viper-strike to the bridge of the nose that finishes them in a single jab. On top of that, you can use it for sweeping their feet out from under them, then go with the "pith shot" to the back of the skull, where it meets the spinal column. I've seen wino's stay fresh and viable for hours with this shot, despite being totally paralyzed.

APRILRAZZ

07-11-2003, 09:58 AM

Setting up a comp in South East Washington D.C. soon.
Pro-am with no limit on crackheads.

Bobzooki

07-11-2003, 10:00 AM

Spud bar:

Rip DeLips

07-11-2003, 10:00 AM

Originally posted by APRILRAZZ
Setting up a comp in South East Washington D.C. soon.
Pro-am with no limit on crackheads.

That's not too far from me, or PETA's headquarters...count me in. What's the entry and pay out info??? Any charities involved? It's always nice to see these tourneys raising money for kids and such.

proletariat

07-11-2003, 10:02 AM

Has anyone found a good supplier of bum piss? You know, for masking scent. I usually just roll around in my kill, or pour MD 20/20 over the soles of my shoes.

Murph

07-11-2003, 10:02 AM

Originally posted by Dieselmh
Two words.

Nail gun! :flipoff2:

Yeah, but you'll need a Paslode ($$$), unless you've got a spare Scott pack to power the gun with.

Andy

morpheus

07-11-2003, 10:02 AM

Originally posted by Bobzooki
I'm surprised nobody here goes for the real heavy assault approach. I prefer to use a six foot spud bar, but I've got a custom bar made by cutting two bars in half, and welding the halves with the flattened ends together. At about 30 pounds, you have to really work out to get that lightning-fast viper-strike to the bridge of the nose that finishes them in a single jab. On top of that, you can use it for sweeping their feet out from under them, then go with the "pith shot" to the back of the skull, where it meets the spinal column. I've seen wino's stay fresh and viable for hours with this shot, despite being totally paralyzed.

we don't have any of that hitech crap here in the south, so, it's all about what's on hand ... I myself prefer a small mattock. got the sharp pointed end for the pith shot and small/light enough to be thrown like a hatchet if you get yourself a "runner" ...
http://members.aol.com/don6439/mvc-248s.jpg

- jack

TN TJ

07-11-2003, 10:03 AM

by far one of the best threads in a while.:D :laughing: :laughing:

Dieselmh

07-11-2003, 10:04 AM

Originally posted by Murph

Yeah, but you'll need a Paslode ($$$), unless you've got a spare Scott pack to power the gun with.

Andy

DUH! York on board air with a pressure tank and long hose! :D

Deep South Cruisers

07-11-2003, 10:06 AM

I have not read the entire thread but does anyone still use the standard 10lb splitting maul:confused:

APRILRAZZ

07-11-2003, 10:06 AM

The $ goes back into the club (no pun intended) No payout but the winner gets a free trip to the capitol building when congress is in session. Once again no limit.
For all you dedicated wino bashers Teddy Kennedy is worth two of what you can find on the streets:D

morpheus

07-11-2003, 10:06 AM

Originally posted by Dieselmh

DUH! York on board air with a pressure tank and long hose! :D

small backpack style tank with C02 in it ... allows for stealth like mobility. you just can't hardly sneak up on some of them dragging a long hose.

- jack

Hawaii500_1999

07-11-2003, 10:09 AM

hey!!!

i think that's been corked!!!

Dieselmh

07-11-2003, 10:10 AM

Originally posted by morpheus

small backpack style tank with C02 in it ... allows for stealth like mobility. you just can't hardly sneak up on some of them dragging a long hose.

- jack

I dunno know about your neck of the woods, but around here it's so fawking hot that they don't even run. The most you have to worry about it one of them throwing up on you for defense or maybe getting hit with an empty Old Crow bottle. If you catch 'em sleeping in packs of 2 or 3, you can usually get 'em all without ever waking them. :D

Hawaii500_1999

07-11-2003, 10:10 AM

Originally posted by Rip DeLips

Once scored, they are ground up and taken to the homeless shelter to make chili for the hungry. So it's really not as unethical as it sounds and the pay outs on some of these tourney's can make a man a damn good living doing what he loves. :D

i think i'm gonna rent soilent green tonight.

Deep South Cruisers

07-11-2003, 10:12 AM

so have any of you Pro's lost a bum's blood trail after his retreat:confused:

come on, tell the truth about the "one that got away"

Murph

07-11-2003, 10:13 AM

APRILRAZZ

07-11-2003, 10:17 AM

Originally posted by Deep South Cruisers
so have any of you Pro's lost a bum's blood trail after his retreat:confused:

come on, tell the truth about the "one that got away"
Thought I lost one in Baltimore one night. Found him in the dumpster urinating on his buddy. So I managed to bag two that night!

TEX

07-11-2003, 10:18 AM

Originally posted by usmcdoc14
old school fawkers :rolleyes: get with times, high speed low drag, ergonomic grip to prevent fatigue durring long hunts, wrist strap when ya get blood slick, and a trip hook to take down the runners

What do you have against tradition, bud? I myself prefer the longer season we get with the primitive weapons, not to mention the fact that the herd is less spooked before all you high-tech guys come in after the rut. Besides, modern weapons make drawing an any-wino tag a lot more difficult, forcing you to limit your kill to those that fit in the weight/height slot.

TEX

Just Some Asshole

07-11-2003, 10:20 AM

I am thinking about using dogs to hunt bums, does anyone have any pictures of bums being attacked by dogs or should I take butch and killer out tonight and snap a few pics for everyone to see?

TEX

07-11-2003, 10:20 AM

Originally posted by Deep South Cruisers
I have not read the entire thread but does anyone still use the standard 10lb splitting maul:confused:

8lb is the legal limit after those fags passed the hammer-control act of 1968 :(

TEX

APRILRAZZ

07-11-2003, 10:21 AM

It's crackhead season here right now. Jumpy little fawkers. You got to get in real close and stun them first if not they try to beg $ from you.
What do you guys use for lure?

Dieselmh

07-11-2003, 10:22 AM

Originally posted by Deep South Cruisers
so have any of you Pro's lost a bum's blood trail after his retreat:confused:

come on, tell the truth about the "one that got away"

Dude, one time I clubbed this big fawker! I'm telling you, I bet his beard hund down to his knees at least. He was so old and wise, that he slept surrounded by broken glass so that he could hear someone sneaking up on him. I got as close as I could, then let the hammer fly. Bam! Nailed him right between the eyes with the claw, and it stuck. I ran in for the kill and jumped up and kicked me in the chin. He ran away down the alley yelling "run, run as fast as you can, you can't catch me, I'm the gingerbread man." I figured what the hell, he's a bum, he ain't all here, so I followed. When I got to the end of the alley, he was gone. There was no door, no window, no bum, no nothing. I did manage to find my hammer, and there wasn't any blood on it. It was freakin' weird!

TEX

07-11-2003, 10:22 AM

Originally posted by Just Some Asshole
I am thinking about using dogs to hunt bums, does anyone have any pictures of bums being attacked by dogs or should I take butch and killer out tonight and snap a few pics for everyone to see?

Dogs are better suited to hobo-hunting in the railyards. But, they have a hard time with all the scents of the city fawking up their trail on an urban wino-hunt.

TEX

Just Some Asshole

07-11-2003, 10:26 AM

Originally posted by TEX

Dogs are better suited to hobo-hunting in the railyards. But, they have a hard time with all the scents of the city fawking up their trail on an urban wino-hunt.

TEX
Good point, Hobo hunting, I haven't done that since I was a teenager and my dad used to take me out to the old B&O lines. Man what a rush, your dog points on a hobo hiding in a flatbead and you get all jittery right before you draw your bow! What a rush!!

Deep South Cruisers

07-11-2003, 10:29 AM

I find them hard to measure up when they are lying flat on their backs.

I would never intentionally kill one outside the listed "slot" height and weight on my hunting license but hey, accidents happen.

When I do get one outside the limits, I immediatley dismember him and stuff him in the storm sewer. I can't afford the fines that go with that:eek:

Dieselmh

07-11-2003, 10:39 AM

Originally posted by Deep South Cruisers
I find them hard to measure up when they are lying flat on their backs.

I would never intentionally kill one outside the listed "slot" height and weight on my hunting license but hey, accidents happen.

When I do get one outside the limits, I immediatley dismember him and stuff him in the storm sewer. I can't afford the fines that go with that:eek:

If you tie their hands to your bumper and their feet to a handrail, you can usually stretch them enough to make 'em legal!

elcornus

07-11-2003, 10:40 AM

you guy's are killing me (no I'm not a whino!:flipoff2: ) funniest thread in days!

mudmaid

07-11-2003, 10:41 AM

Originally posted by Just Some Asshole
I am thinking about using dogs to hunt bums, does anyone have any pictures of bums being attacked by dogs or should I take butch and killer out tonight and snap a few pics for everyone to see?

using dogs to attack your prey... because you dont have hunting skills... that is seriously f*cked up!

:mad:

:mad3:

:flipoff:

;) :D :flipoff2:

Dieselmh

07-11-2003, 10:43 AM

Originally posted by mudmaid

using dogs to attack your prey... because you dont have hunting skills... that is seriously f*cked up!

Hobos can be very dangerous, there are all kinds of things laying around railroad yards that can be used as weapons. I don't use dogs myself, but don't have anything against those who do. If you've never tried it, then STFU! :mad:

:D

Deep South Cruisers

07-11-2003, 10:45 AM

Originally posted by Dieselmh

If you tie their hands to your bumper and their feet to a handrail, you can usually stretch them enough to make 'em legal!

WONDERFULL IDEA!!!

sometimes, when they are under the weight limit...............I slip lead shot down their necks to fatten them up:D

Just Some Asshole

07-11-2003, 10:49 AM

Originally posted by mudmaid

using dogs to attack your prey... because you dont have hunting skills... that is seriously f*cked up!

:mad:

:mad3:

:flipoff:

;) :D :flipoff2:

Whoa there missy, don't get your panties in a knot! Hobo's don't feel pain so I don't see any reason why having a dog run them down and chomp on thier necks would be a bad thing. YOU HIPPIE!

hehehe this is so much fun!:D

mudmaid

07-11-2003, 10:51 AM

Originally posted by Dieselmh

Hobos can be very dangerous, there are all kinds of things laying around railroad yards that can be used as weapons. I don't use dogs myself, but don't have anything against those who do. If you've never tried it, then STFU! :mad:

:D

kiss my ass bacon boy! :mad:

:laughing: :flipoff2: :D

Hank

07-11-2003, 10:54 AM

My team was disqualified from the last comp here in Houston for using unethical tactics.

We set an alley on fire at one end then whacked everything that came running out. We had it won in less than 30 minutes, until the ruling came down. I just don't understand why it's legal in comps to use bait, and why they considered fire unethical? Anyone else use tactics such as these ?

APRILRAZZ

07-11-2003, 11:07 AM

Found the old tried and true trail of Cisco works for me.

UZI 9mm

07-11-2003, 11:08 AM

Intriguing ideas on wild game.

You have not lived until experiencing the culinary delight of Strangled Wino de' Argent, and each one comes with his own numbered certifcate of authenticity!

A somewhat guilty indulgence on my part I must admit, but the fantastic Hobo de fois gras created by raising Hobos with their feet nailed to the floor, and having only the Finest Napolean brandy poured down their throats-well, need I continue? Simply a dish to die for.

JIM WOZ

07-11-2003, 11:08 AM

Mason jar full of gasoline,Zippo,Marshmallows. A good framing hammer as a side arm.

Just Some Asshole

07-11-2003, 11:11 AM

Originally posted by UZI 9mm
Intriguing ideas on wild game.

You have not lived until experiencing the culinary delight of Strangled Wino de' Argent, and each one comes with his own numbered certifcate of authenticity!

A somewhat guilty indulgence on my part I must admit, but the fantastic Hobo de fois gras created by raising Hobos with their feet nailed to the floor, and having only the Finest Napolean brandy poured down their throats-well, need I continue? Simply a dish to die for.

elitist bastard, you probably go on those expensive bum safari's in africa where they tie the whino's to the stake and let you shoot at them too don't you!

LandCroozer

07-11-2003, 11:11 AM

Originally posted by Hank
My team was disqualified from the last comp here in Houston for using unethical tactics.

We set an alley on fire at one end then whacked everything that came running out. We had it won in less than 30 minutes, until the ruling came down. I just don't understand why it's legal in comps to use bait, and why they considered fire unethical? Anyone else use tactics such as these ?

I was abhorred at the first mention of this tactic. But then I remembered your location. Texas must have a much smaller herd than our neck of the woods, and thus more difficult to flush out. Such a thing would never fly out here in California.

Damn liberals and their "bum rights" campaigns. What a load of crap.

-tom

TEX

07-11-2003, 11:12 AM

Originally posted by UZI 9mm
You have not lived until experiencing the culinary delight of Strangled Wino de' Argent

Wino is such a delicate meat since it's already pre-marinated :D

jdjanda

07-11-2003, 11:13 AM

I stopped using dogs awhile ago. Spoked'em the bums too easily. I'm know using trained tracking cats. Sly little bastards, they get in close to the target and snuggle up to em. While the prey is distracted, WHAM!!

Sometimes the bum shields himself with the cat. I've got a couple of three legged cats I use for breeding. Believe it or not their still effect trackers without tails too.

LandCroozer

07-11-2003, 11:14 AM

Originally posted by Just Some Asshole

elitist bastard, you probably go on those expensive bum safari's in africa where they tie the whino's to the stake and let you shoot at them too don't you!

If you ever get a chance, come on out to San Francisco on Safari with us sometime. It's amazing, they roam free, fully protected, vast herds as far as the eye can see.

Back when I was just a small lad, my grandpappy would take me trolling. We'd sit on the back of a Muni bus and club them as we went by. Then after a block or two, we'd hop off the bus and walk back and gut and clean our kills. You could limit out for the price of a 10 cent bus token.

There has always been huge packs of them. They really need to thin the herd, because the whole species is becoming soft and weak. They really need to bring back trolling. The bums are displacing their support crew, ie regular working people. Projections show that bums will outnumber workers by the year 2010 at current trends. No one wins then, least of all the sportsman.

-tom

APRILRAZZ

07-11-2003, 11:16 AM

I like using ferrets myself. A little unethical I know but you have not lived untill you have seen your intended prey running screaming twards you with a ferret attatched to him.

usmcdoc14

07-11-2003, 11:17 AM

this was taken at an undisclosed disclosed location (not by me) the photographer told me that was actualy a wounder bum that was hit by another hunter and his dog caught him while he was down.
http://www.detectordog.com/uniquek9/image/ouch1.jpg

while i have no problem with using them for tracking (but like you cant track them yourself :rolleyes: ) i definatly do not condone this unsportsmanlike behavior

Moby

07-11-2003, 11:17 AM

Recently one of those “hunting clubs” opened near my favorite spot, apparently they plant 2 bums for each hunter and you just sneak up and whack’em, then a guide field dresses them and hauls them back to camp for you.
Places like this are going to ruin the natural & wild experience. The farm-raised bums are so mellow they don’t even beg change when they see you. I don’t know how they can call that hunting.

TEX

07-11-2003, 11:18 AM

Originally posted by LandCroozer

If you ever get a chance, come on out to San Francisco on Safari with us sometime. It's amazing, they roam free, fully protected, vast herds as far as the eye can see.

Much tougher huntin' in St. Louis. First of all, the herd isn't that healthy, way below carrying capacity IMO. Then, you've got that friggin' Reverend Larry Rice out there EVERY NIGHT coaxing the winos into his private game reserves (he calls 'em "shelters" :rolleyes: ). But, we do have a few hotspots downtown & I don't think we'll have to draw for tags this year, should be available over the counter.

TEX

Monkeyboy

07-11-2003, 11:18 AM

Out here with San Francisco so near I have found that Gerbils are an excellent lure for the whino bums in these parts.

and for the ultimate in sport I have retired the 8 lb. hammer and I now use a custom tack hammer. This requires the utmost skill to bring the drunken game down.

Just Some Asshole

07-11-2003, 11:18 AM

I agree with you, the herd needs to be thinned, but tying them up to a stake and killing them is just wrong, I'd much rather see them taken out by hurling a stick of dynamite at them than see them tied up. Although I guess anything is better than seeing them get run down by a speeding bus.

JeepRecoveryTeam

07-11-2003, 11:19 AM

UZI 9mm

07-11-2003, 11:21 AM

Originally posted by Just Some Asshole

elitist bastard, you probably go on those expensive bum safari's in africa where they tie the whino's to the stake and let you shoot at them too don't you!

Oh contrare, my hot headed young friend. The Kalahari Bushwinos are second to none in outright deaths to the Sportsman( in per-capita big game hunting occurances*)

*published data kindly submitted by Wetherby's Guide to Stalking the Wild Wino

Monkeyboy

07-11-2003, 11:21 AM

I believe the Native americans would have driven them off cliffs back in ancient times.

jdjanda

07-11-2003, 11:22 AM

We also have a little tradition, every X-mas eve we wait outside the shelter. Get some nice fat ones for X-mas day dinner. The plus is they're usually full from just eating and can't run too fast. Little unsporting, but puts a nice meal on the table.

mudmaid

07-11-2003, 11:22 AM

Originally posted by usmcdoc14

http://www.detectordog.com/uniquek9/image/ouch1.jpg

BWAHAHAHAHA!! :laughing: :laughing: :laughing:

TEX

07-11-2003, 11:22 AM

Originally posted by Just Some Asshole
Although I guess anything is better than seeing them get run down by a speeding bus.

A true sportsman will burn a tag on a road-kill wino :p

TEX

Just Some Asshole

07-11-2003, 11:28 AM

I guess I just don't like these new RESERVES or "shelters" as they call them, I wanna hunt my bums like my forefathers did, tracking them into the alleys and bludgeoning them to death with a blunt object, all these sharps and projectiles just ruin the experience. How will our children learn the ancient ways if we use all these modern convieniences. Hell, hardly anyone even harvests them for thier meat anymore, all they care about is thier head and thier hides.

Hank

07-11-2003, 11:29 AM

Here in Texas the Gamewarden will give you the wino hit by truck without using a tag.

Y'all just gave me another great idea for the next comp. Fire alarm at the shelter! That should flush the motherload, and only two ways to escape, thus our two member team could possibly break the state record in record time!

Thanks Pirate!:D

usmcdoc14

07-11-2003, 11:37 AM

Originally posted by mudmaid

BWAHAHAHAHA!! :laughing: :laughing: :laughing:

this is not a laughing matter young lady :mad: this is a serious sport not to be taken lightly.

(took me a while to find an image to do the thread justice ,this one was beautiful :laughing: )

APRILRAZZ

07-11-2003, 11:39 AM

Hey Doc you know a good ferret trainer? got a little one with white feet now that looks like she would be a good one. Don't know about her tracking skills but she is good on the attack.

UZI 9mm

07-11-2003, 11:44 AM

Originally posted by Just Some Asshole
I guess I just don't like these new RESERVES or "shelters" as they call them, I wanna hunt my bums like my forefathers did, tracking them into the alleys and bludgeoning them to death with a blunt object, all these sharps and projectiles just ruin the experience. How will our children learn the ancient ways if we use all these modern convieniences. Hell, hardly anyone even harvests them for thier meat anymore, all they care about is thier head and thier hides.

True, true!

Just think back in the day when our ancesters had to face giant 7' tall Wooly Winos, or the horrific Sabre Tooth Hobo:eek:

Must have made wonderous tales around the camp fires. sigh.

WindRider

07-11-2003, 11:51 AM

This is just plain wrong!!!

I belong to the "Save our Winos Foundation" and I want to tell all of you people that it's veery wrong to be doing this. Do you have any idea how long it takes to grow an "old grouth" wino? Do you have any idea of all the other life forms that depend on old grouth wino? All those poor lice, fleas, ticks, and other critters that loose their home when a wino is killed.

Plus you just run out and kill the poor things without even stoping to find out just how old they are, so you are killing off the new crop of winos before they have a chance to mature into old grouth winos.

You must, and can help conserve our winos by signing the patition banning hammers! Once we take the hammers out of the hands of the hunters the poor winos will stand a fighting chance!

APRILRAZZ

07-11-2003, 11:51 AM

Originally posted by UZI 9mm

True, true!

Just think back in the day when our ancesters had to face giant 7' tall Wooly Winos, or the horrific Sabre Tooth Hobo:eek:

Must have made wonderous tales around the camp fires. sigh.
Yep, those were the good old days!
Now I think the sport has evolve to a new level.

APRILRAZZ

07-11-2003, 11:53 AM

Originally posted by WindRider
This is just plain wrong!!!

I belong to the "Save our Winos Foundation" and I want to tell all of you people that it's veery wrong to be doing this. Do you have any idea how long it takes to grow an "old grouth" wino? Do you have any idea of all the other life forms that depend on old grouth wino? All those poor lice, fleas, ticks, and other critters that loose their home when a wino is killed.

Plus you just run out and kill the poor things without even stoping to find out just how old they are, so you are killing off the new crop of winos before they have a chance to mature into old grouth winos.

You must, and can help conserve our winos by signing the patition banning hammers! Once we take the hammers out of the hands of the hunters the poor winos will stand a fighting chance!
Get back in the closet you bleeding heart:flipoff2:
Look at the potential for overpopulation.

WindRider

07-11-2003, 11:58 AM

Originally posted by APRILRAZZ

Get back in the closet you bleeding heart:flipoff2:
Look at the potential for overpopulation.

Careful studies by our foundation have shown that over population is not possable. It seems that when the wino density of an area gets too high they run out of sleeping spots. They then sleep on top of each other, crushing, or sufficating the ones on the bottom, thus limiting their population.

Just Some Asshole

07-11-2003, 11:59 AM

Originally posted by WindRider
This is just plain wrong!!!

I belong to the "Save our Winos Foundation" and I want to tell all of you people that it's veery wrong to be doing this. Do you have any idea how long it takes to grow an "old grouth" wino? Do you have any idea of all the other life forms that depend on old grouth wino? All those poor lice, fleas, ticks, and other critters that loose their home when a wino is killed.

Plus you just run out and kill the poor things without even stoping to find out just how old they are, so you are killing off the new crop of winos before they have a chance to mature into old grouth winos.

You must, and can help conserve our winos by signing the patition banning hammers! Once we take the hammers out of the hands of the hunters the poor winos will stand a fighting chance!

What a bunch of lliberal wino-hugging crap! "save the winos, save the winos" that's all we hear, what happens when those "old growth" wino's drink up all the mad dog 20/20 and there's not enough for the yearling bums huh? they'll go extinct! all because of your kind on thier whining for winos! I am a bum environmentalist too but I know what'll happen if we just stop all the bum hunting altogether! You wanna save something, save the wild canadian herds, now those need saving!

APRILRAZZ

07-11-2003, 12:01 PM

Originally posted by WindRider

Careful studies by our foundation have shown that over population is not possable. It seems that when the wino density of an area gets too high they run out of sleeping spots. They then sleep on top of each other, crushing, or sufficating the ones on the bottom, thus limiting their population.
But wouldn't a quick death with a hammer be more humaine than letting them die a slow, agonizing death?

WindRider

07-11-2003, 12:09 PM

Originally posted by APRILRAZZ

But wouldn't a quick death with a hammer be more humaine than letting them die a slow, agonizing death?

This is natures way, as apposed to the rampant crualty of bashing their heads in with a hammer.

Plus have you given any though to the poor winos that are just wounded? We have seen too many times where one is wounded then left to die slowly, fully aware that they are dieing because they were not properly anestatized by their usually intake of alcohol.

Please help us ban the hammer and set up preserves where the winos can roam safely!

Dang, I haven't had this much fun for a while... :D

TEX

07-11-2003, 12:12 PM

Originally posted by APRILRAZZ

But wouldn't a quick death with a hammer be more humaine than letting them die a slow, agonizing death?

Precisely, the anti-hammerers will never get that this is pure science.

TEX

07-11-2003, 12:13 PM

Originally posted by WindRider
Plus have you given any though to the poor winos that are just wounded?

Have YOU given thought to the ones who aren't quite on the bottom, but not quite on the top who die a slow, agononizing, stinky death?

APRILRAZZ

07-11-2003, 12:14 PM

Man had a great thread going untill PETW (people for the ethicle treatment of winos) shows up.:flipoff2:
Laughed my butt off the whole time!!!

jdjanda

07-11-2003, 12:14 PM

You guys come across any with steel plates in their head? I did, som beeotch that was a fight. Crept up on him and dropped the hammer, bounced right off his head. I dazed him so I came down with another shot bounced right off. I had to switch to my back up (Fork) and got him in the neck a couple times before he ran. Followed the trail, switched to the claw and nailed right between the eyes.

TEX

07-11-2003, 12:16 PM

Originally posted by jdjanda
You guys come across any with steel plates in their head?

Why do you think I advocate the 8lb hammer? Penetration baby :D

APRILRAZZ

07-11-2003, 12:17 PM

Originally posted by jdjanda
You guys come across any with steel plates in their head? I did, som beeotch that was a fight. Crept up on him and dropped the hammer, bounced right off his head. I dazed him so I came down with another shot bounced right off. I had to switch to my back up (Fork) and got him in the neck a couple times before he ran. Followed the trail, switched to the claw and nailed right between the eyes.
That's where the plasma cutter comes in. Just kind of hard to sneak up on them though!

Dieselmh

07-11-2003, 12:17 PM

The only thing that I hate is when you kill one, and he rolls over on belly, you get that sudden urge to just rip off his clothes, stab him in the neck with a fork and do him up the ass! I mean, sure, it feels good, but it's just the thought of eating something that I just fawked that kinda turns me off!

:D Let's see the petw freaks get a hold of that one!:flipoff2:

UZI 9mm

07-11-2003, 12:20 PM

Originally posted by Just Some Asshole

You wanna save something, save the wild canadian herds, now those need saving!

Scientists aren't able to distinguish between beer swilling Canadians, and winos. (take Whizzy for example:emb4: )

Deep South Cruisers

07-11-2003, 12:20 PM

Originally posted by Dieselmh
The only thing that I hate is when you kill one, and he rolls over on belly, you get that sudden urge to just rip off his clothes, stab him in the neck with a fork and do him up the ass! I mean, sure, it feels good, but it's just the thought of eating something that I just fawked that kinda turns me off!

:D Let's see the petw freaks get a hold of that one!:flipoff2:

I like to think of it as tenderizing :D

APRILRAZZ

07-11-2003, 12:21 PM

APRILRAZZ

07-11-2003, 12:23 PM

Any of you San Diego guys have any luck stalking the elusive TJ tequllia swiller?

jeep family

07-11-2003, 12:27 PM

We don't have that many winos and bumbs down here in the south but we do have our own version of the sport. That big beautiful stretch of hunting ground we call I-10. Stretches from Cali to Florida. You got the time and right vehicle you can usually see a keeper that meets the local game requirements every few miles. We call it "noodling". I've never tried the 8lb sledge myself because it would be to hard to keep your balance hanging out the side of the car or back of the truck and swing that thing. We use the old standard Louisville Slugger C72 Pro Model in black of course. Some of the more crazy guys will make a stop let the hitcher think their getting picked up then wack him (or her) at the car. You got some that just run them down or coral them into traffic for fun but thats really not what the sport is about.

(Looks to me like the dog was getting alittle more than a mouth full of Wino soft meat. He's getting a little lovin too. I've heard down in central america they have some game ranches that let you do that. Play with your food a little before it dies. You know what I mean. You haven't had lovin till you had you some wino comin off the juice thats got the shakes real bad.)

Banned

07-11-2003, 12:27 PM

anyone ever try an iron pipe? i got a nice 2 inch ductile iron pipe about 2 feet long...pretty heavy swings decent. i practiced with it today. smashes bricks and cinder blocks with ease.

you think it would work?

Roxywheels

07-11-2003, 12:31 PM

I know you guys are having fun but please don't take this over the top like you all did the *how to kill someone* thread...I'd hate to have to axe it ;) :roxy:

WindRider

07-11-2003, 12:32 PM

Please, please, people, reconsider what you are doing. I...I...I (I must control urges) I am just getting sick (must not pick up hammer) reading the terrible (it's so inviting, so lovely to hold) things you are doing. (Damn it feels good in the hand too) This must be stopped. (Swings nicely too) there are only so many winos out there and...........

I'm going to have to get my share before they're all GONE!!! (Running with hammer in hand for the door leading to the back ally!!!)

Just Some Asshole

07-11-2003, 12:32 PM

this is the one I got on my last hunt, I just got him back from the taxidermist, how do you guys like this mount???http://klbcommunityconsulting.com/klb/images/homeless.jpg

APRILRAZZ

07-11-2003, 12:35 PM

Originally posted by WindRider
Please, please, people, reconsider what you are doing. I...I...I (I must control urges) I am just getting sick (must not pick up hammer) reading the terrible (it's so inviting, so lovely to hold) things you are doing. (Damn it feels good in the hand too) This must be stopped. (Swings nicely too) there are only so many winos out there and...........

I'm going to have to get my share before they're all GONE!!! (Running with hammer in hand for the door leading to the back ally!!!)
Yes!!! another convert:D

APRILRAZZ

07-11-2003, 12:36 PM

Originally posted by Just Some Asshole
this is the one I got on my last hunt, I just got him back from the taxidermist, how do you guys like this mount???http://klbcommunityconsulting.com/klb/images/homeless.jpg
Nice one JSA. What did you bring him down with?

Dieselmh

07-11-2003, 12:36 PM

I mount 'em myself! ;)

That one looks pretty good JSA, but I prefer the more natural look. You know, covered up partially by old newspapers, with one shoe and one holey sock, urine stained pants, and rats nibbling his ear, but if you were going for the "show" mount, then you nailed it spot on! :D

Just Some Asshole

07-11-2003, 12:37 PM

and here's the one I took when I was just 16, my first bum hunt. My dad was so proud of me. I took this one with a hatchet.

http://www.arches.uga.edu/~meglenn/homeles1.jpg

Just Some Asshole

07-11-2003, 12:39 PM

Originally posted by APRILRAZZ

Nice one JSA. What did you bring him down with?

Oh he was a wiley one, he jumped in his cart and down the alley he went, I caught him though and that Coffee table leg made by Smith and Wesson brought him down with one swing!

Just Some Asshole

07-11-2003, 12:42 PM

Originally posted by Dieselmh
I mount 'em myself! ;)

That one looks pretty good JSA, but I prefer the more natural look. You know, covered up partially by old newspapers, with one shoe and one holey sock, urine stained pants, and rats nibbling his ear, but if you were going for the "show" mount, then you nailed it spot on! :D

right on! That one was for show but this guy is hanging on my mantle in the den...http://www.readio.com/nywindowgallery/clicknsave/images/homeless-pictures.jpg

Dieselmh

07-11-2003, 12:46 PM

Originally posted by Just Some Asshole

right on! That one was for show but this guy is hanging on my mantle in the den...http://www.readio.com/nywindowgallery/clicknsave/images/homeless-pictures.jpg

Now that's what I'm talking about! Who's your taxidermist, that looks so natural!

jeep family

07-11-2003, 12:46 PM

Speaking of the mantle in the den we've had this classic painting on the wall since I went on my first trip at the age 5. I know that some of you don't like runnin dogs but you have to admit. This is a classic. Hobo on the run with the bait we set out and a dog on his ass! (Small tear on my check)

Just Some Asshole

07-11-2003, 12:48 PM

Originally posted by jeep family
Speaking of the mantle in the den we've had this classic painting on the wall since I went on my first trip at the age 5. I know that some of you don't like runnin dogs but you have to admit. This is a classic. Hobo on the run with the bait we set out and a dog on his ass! (Small tear on my check)

OOOH, that's a classic, :jealous:

blackyj95

07-11-2003, 12:58 PM

Out here in colorado we don't do things the easy way(hammers) we use old style and the prey is bigger and faster (they have to bulk up for the winters)

Our meathod is the 12 eye Doc martin Steel toe(only attempt while passed out or sleeping) I beleve it takes more skill then just whomping a wino over the head with a blunt object.

the snow definately helps corral the wino to steam vents so its a year round sport :D

Hank

07-11-2003, 12:59 PM

PETW

Stands for............

Please eat the winos.

morpheus

07-11-2003, 01:00 PM

Originally posted by Hank
PETW

Stands for............

Please eat the winos.

I thought it was Please Erradicate The Whinos

mudmaid

07-11-2003, 01:02 PM

:laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing:

jeep family

07-11-2003, 01:02 PM

Anybody ever try just throwing things from high up in a window like deer hunter in a tree stand. Specially you guys in Colorado if you can pick out a good steam vent with signs showing around, get up in there early so that you don't spook them. When their good and still let loose with some bricks or something. That would take some skill if your going to take a big one home with you.

Dieselmh

07-11-2003, 01:02 PM

Here's a pic of my buddy, Cletus when we used to bait. He'll just lay there like he's passed out, and when a wino comes up to steal his change, WHAM, I just out and whack him! We did have a close call once during an amateur tourney when another hunter tried to kill Cletus, but other than a few bruises, he's OK!

http://www.cs.tufts.edu/~edanahy/pictures/tuftl_graduation/homeless.jpg

UZI 9mm

07-11-2003, 01:09 PM

Originally posted by jeep family
Anybody ever try just throwing things from high up in a window

Didn't you see the Letterman show where he dropped T.V.'s off the roof onto the winos below? Late 80's I believe.

blackyj95

07-11-2003, 01:12 PM

Good Ideas about the stand but I'm in for the more personal close up attack... I think the Stand Idea is for a HACK :eek: GET UP AND PERSONAL and reach out and touch someone

Deep South Cruisers

07-11-2003, 01:13 PM

very stealthy Diesel, I think ill douse myself in urine, dive in a dumpster and give it a try:D

jeep family

07-11-2003, 01:15 PM

If your looking for up close and personal you have to use a small knife. Slit that throat sometimes they don't even wake up when you do it. Other times they do and just look at you funny because they don't understand why they can't talk or cuss you out. This is always the best approach if you are going for multiple kills in close proximity to one another.

jdjanda

07-11-2003, 01:17 PM

You guys should try wino fish'n just about as much fun. Get yourself a good rod and reel, and some cable. I use 300 lb test.

Here is a pic of my setup
http://www.harborfreight.com/cpi/photos/37500-37599/37555.gif

Depending on what area we are in, bait is either one dollar bill (up town), or cheap booze in a plastic bottle.

blackyj95

07-11-2003, 01:22 PM

we only do stand up fishing Out Here in Colorado

f250 and large tuna stick with a stand up belt.. I like wire for a leader and 120lb mono
bait is a turkey leg with big fawkin treble hooks

good fight

Just remember to put em down BEFORE you get em in the truck bed we had an problem a year back bringing a live one in over the rail. They get fistey facing there demise

Also get em in quick otherwise they can die of overexertion...

jeep family

07-11-2003, 01:26 PM

How do you fish with that. You have to have some way to get a good flesh penetration then you could reel them in. Don't see how you set the hook with a $1 bill or bottle. I recommend a slightly warmed burrito from a 7-11 or something. Imbed the hook in there then as they bite in I recommend you floor the gas to set the hook before going to the hand crank.

LandCroozer

07-11-2003, 01:34 PM

Originally posted by APRILRAZZ
Any of you San Diego guys have any luck stalking the elusive TJ tequllia swiller?

It's been a while since I've been down to the border area, but last time I was in SoCal they had started to outlaw the practice of taking them on roads with cars. I agree, it's not sporting. But the federal gov't has adopted a strange catch-and-release program to relocate these abundant creatures.

-tom

jdjanda

07-11-2003, 01:35 PM

Originally posted by blackyj95
we only do stand up fishing Out Here in Colorado

f250 and large tuna stick with a stand up belt.. I like wire for a leader and 120lb mono
bait is a turkey leg with big fawkin treble hooks

good fight

Just remember to put em down BEFORE you get em in the truck bed we had an problem a year back bringing a live one in over the rail. They get fistey facing there demise

Also get em in quick otherwise they can die of overexertion...

Watch out for mail boxes also, we had on the line, pulling him around a corner, wrapped himself around the mail box. Pulled the dam thing right out the ground, tore up the catch, and tore up the gear. It was an expensive day :(

jdjanda

07-11-2003, 01:38 PM

Originally posted by jeep family
How do you fish with that. You have to have some way to get a good flesh penetration then you could reel them in. Don't see how you set the hook with a $1 bill or bottle. I recommend a slightly warmed burrito from a 7-11 or something. Imbed the hook in there then as they bite in I recommend you floor the gas to set the hook before going to the hand crank.

You've got to hook the hand when they pick it up, if wait till they bite and hook the month, the flesh will tear loose before you can drag them in.

Nothing worse then having to untangle line and wino from a cart. Make sure the bait is out away from the cart.

blackyj95

07-11-2003, 01:42 PM

we started with the treble hooks and changed recently to circle hooks they seem to lodge in the gums and keep out of the soft tissue

the mailbox was a problem thats why we try and stay in the canyons ... I mean the parks alot more open you just have to lead them a bit

The Joker

07-11-2003, 02:36 PM

OK I admit I only scanned your hunting and fishing methods and you are good and all BUT I saw no mention of the most dangerous game around.

East Oakland Crack Whore

Do Not Attempt this Game unless you have years of experience under your belt. This is where we seperate the men from the boys.

It takes a sharp eye to tell if they are still on their high and have a chance to take you down or if they are wandering looking for a fix. I suggest you keep a safe distance til you can verify the status.

TEX

07-11-2003, 02:40 PM

Originally posted by The Joker
East Oakland Crack Whore

Yeah, like I'm ever gonna draw a tag for one of those :rolleyes: I wish!

TEX

pirate

07-11-2003, 02:46 PM

Originally posted by TEX

I'm not sure I'm too keen on the ethics of competition wino bashing. All of my winos go right into the freezer to feed my family for the Winter.
TEX

I agree.. it's the Ted Nuggent method.. eat what you kill...
Field dressing a wino in the Maple tree out front can get a block party started faster than a Santana concert..

Dieselmh

07-11-2003, 02:48 PM

Originally posted by TEX

Yeah, like I'm ever gonna draw a tag for one of those :rolleyes: I wish!

TEX

I know what you mean, those are the things that dreams are made of. I did bag an East Texas pot head once, but it wasn't really hard. He had dropped his bag of cheetos and was picking them up one by one, cleaning them, and putting them back in the bag. I took him with a toothpick and a pair of tweezers just to make it more sporting.

Monkeyboy

07-11-2003, 02:49 PM

You don't need a tag for oakland crackwhores.

They are so over populated that it has been declared popen season year round on them.
Still no one goes for them.
You'll see a herd 20 of em gathering near a dark alley and the sportsmen will see em and keep moving on looking for the good stuff.
Problem with em is they are so aggressive and they somehow multiply like crazy which pushes the good game out of it's natural habitat.
This inturn makes it very hard to find a large healthy game.
It's all getting pushed out away from the reserves do to these parasitic crackwhore beast.

Moose

07-11-2003, 02:51 PM

Originally posted by pirate

I agree.. it's the Ted Nuggent method.. eat what you kill...
Field dressing a wino in the Maple tree out front can get a block party started faster than a Santana concert..

The best part is that with all the wine, they are pretty much the only meat that comes pre-marinaded. Nothing beats the straight from the streets to the grill flavor of a Nor-Cal Boozer IMHO.

Dieselmh

07-11-2003, 02:51 PM

I would also imagine that there's not much meat on a crackwhore, so what's the point? It's kinda like jacking off but not finishing, it's a good time waster, but what's the point? :D

TEX

07-11-2003, 02:51 PM

Originally posted by Dieselmh

I know what you mean, those are the things that dreams are made of. I did bag an East Texas pot head once, but it wasn't really hard. He had dropped his bag of cheetos and was picking them up one by one, cleaning them, and putting them back in the bag. I took him with a toothpick and a pair of tweezers just to make it more sporting.

Yeah, I got one at a Whataburger once. He was just standing there laughing & saying "Whataburger" over & over at the counter. Had to hit him over 30 times with one of those plastic trays to finish him off & he never quit giggling the whole time :D

Moose

07-11-2003, 02:52 PM

Originally posted by Dieselmh
I would also imagine that there's not much meat on a crackwhore, so what's the point? It's kinda like jacking off but not finishing, it's a good time waster, but what's the point? :D

No no you kill the whore to bait the pimp...

Pimps have much more meat then most winos and they come with Bling Bling!

Moose

07-11-2003, 02:53 PM

Stoners got to easy when the hedges outside my neighborhood Krispy Kremes got over 2 feet tall. The little fellows don't really stand a chance when you have a good blind.

Just Some Asshole

07-11-2003, 02:55 PM

Originally posted by Moose

No no you kill the whore to bait the pimp...

Pimps have much more meat then most winos and they come with Bling Bling!

Genious, pure genious!

The Joker

07-11-2003, 02:55 PM

Originally posted by Moose

The best part is that with all the wine, they are pretty much the only meat that comes pre-marinaded. Nothing beats the straight from the streets to the grill flavor of a Nor-Cal Boozer IMHO.

OH yeah I hear where you are coming from for pure eating pleasure this is where it is at.

I just wanted to bring up if you are purely after a dangerous sport to get your heart pumping and possibly even life threatening, there is not substiture for taking on a crack whore.

By the way I know they teach this in hunter safety but should always be reminded Never Hunt Alone.

blackyj95

07-11-2003, 03:13 PM

"you anint gonna catch no crackhead" Smokey from Friday

jdjanda

07-11-2003, 03:20 PM

Pssst, you guys ever indulge in any out of season sport?

I know it's frowned on but every once in while I've got to have a fix of office intern.

I usually spot light them with an official looking memo, then bag them with a pen. Just make sure they're not running coffee OUCH! You've got to get them quick or they make a lot of noise. I pay the cleaning crew a little extra cash to keep quiet about the mess in the cube.

Plus I make a tone of money on their spleens, upper management pays big bucks for it.

The Joker

07-11-2003, 03:25 PM

Sorry to tell you if you are in it for money your doing it all wrong.

You have to get them to a hotel room and remove a kidney, of course leave them in the bath tub full of ice. Technically this is catch and release so there is no bag limit.

Have to adjust your lure or baiting routine by the prey you are after.

pirate

07-11-2003, 04:15 PM

I hear a wino pelt goes for a high price in the Asian markets..
I think they use it for an aphrodisiac..

LandCroozer

07-11-2003, 06:00 PM

Originally posted by jdjanda

Plus I make a tone of money on their spleens, upper management pays big bucks for it.

I think it's if you REMOVE their SPINES, it makes them READY for upper management..

-tom

Buddha's Ghost

07-11-2003, 06:34 PM

I turn my back on a thread for a few hours and...:laughing:

VT_Toy

07-11-2003, 06:36 PM

When I worked at a bike shop we got so many of them coming in all the time that we'd lure them into the back room and feed them some ripple with a sedative in it. We could get good money from the S&M club down the street for them. :cool: Tourists were worth BIG bucks, but they're protected around here :(

Check out the coOl hunting they get to do overseas - http://www.gry.wp.pl/core.html?filtr=1,0&x=gra,33,6364,-1,-1

AgaveHound

07-11-2003, 09:11 PM

Here in the springs we get to ambush the bastids as they walk under the freeways. Bricks work great. I hate messy kills though. Once had one of the smelliest wino's stumbling along below me. Bastid tripped when I tossed my brick at 'em and broke his shouder instead of his head. He turned and snarled at me with the yellowist teeth I've ever seen, just in time to catch my brass 3 oz. hammer right in the kisser. It was a beautiful throw too. :D He was still busy spitting teeth when I administered the coup de' grace. He was just a bit too old though 'cause he was tough as hell. Next time I'll do one up in the crock pot. Mmmm, slow cooked wino with basted taters!

axle59

07-11-2003, 09:48 PM

AgaveHound

07-11-2003, 09:54 PM

That's just wrong! What a waste of perfectly good meat. Iffen you're gonna hunt 'em ya' got to eat 'em. All trophy hunting does is give more ammo to those damn wino activists. :mad: We can't convert all of 'em ya' know! As for the smell, I found if you put some hickory on the coals of the grill it does wonders... ;)

Jacob

07-11-2003, 11:38 PM

my weapons of choice are chinese throwing hammers
small, lightweight and you can carry a ton of 'em

hide in the shadows outside of the liquor store and its like shooting fish in a barrel

braxton357

07-12-2003, 12:47 AM

Originally posted by Banned
anyone ever try an iron pipe? i got a nice 2 inch ductile iron pipe about 2 feet long...pretty heavy swings decent. i practiced with it today. smashes bricks and cinder blocks with ease.

you think it would work?

pipe is for plumbing :flipoff2: use thick walled DOM

bluebellyday

07-12-2003, 11:45 AM

Out here in the east I found that cold weather hunting is my best bet.
I light a trash barrel and just sit in the shadows then wait.

I did however have a problem with this set up. Last year during a hunt I had a big one come to the barrel. With one blow I bagged this trophy.

As I went to skin it I discovered it was a female. Not your crack whore type but a true 250 pounder! With a beard no less
What was I to do All I had was a buck tag.

I admit it now but all I could do was drag her back to the shadows and cover her up with newspaper. Damm! I hated loosing the meat but I couldn't risk getting busted by the Game Warden.

Watch out when they have on several layers of fur. It can be hard to tell the difference.
;)

SHERPA

07-13-2003, 08:45 AM

all this talk of bum hunting from you guys, and nobody has mentioned the elusive bicycle-mounted can gatherers-? comeawn!
you truely haven't enjoyed the highway-version of the sport unless you've mounted a 2" square tube sticking out 8 feet on the
side of your pickup into the end of the trailer hitch receiver.
just the thought of driving down the shoulder at 80mph with that
tube sticking out there, just waiting for the next can-dude on his
bike......

of course, I hope you follow the recommendations and are using
at least a .250" wall tube for your hunt. anything else would
be foolish!

supposedly, Cabella's is going to begin offering a complete hunting-line in the fall catalog, so check your mailbox soon!

--Sherpa

Haole

07-13-2003, 06:23 PM

Originally posted by Jacob
my weapons of choice are chinese throwing hammers
small, lightweight and you can carry a ton of 'em

hide in the shadows outside of the liquor store and its like shooting fish in a barrel

Must be nice in Texas. There's a no hunting zone around our liquor stores. Can't hit them for 100 yds around one. It's too easy to bait them outside the zone though. Of course this rule doesn't apply in the Mission District in San Francisco.

Jacob

07-13-2003, 10:56 PM

to tell the truth, its really considered poaching but most of the wino wardens look the other way

i know several that are avid hunters themselves

Yotaoffroada

01-15-2004, 12:43 AM

I know this thread is old but I had to ask: I know a guy who is a cop who will occasionally take one out in a jail cell. Anyone else heard of this unsportsman tactic? No sport at all....

Kevin

Haole

01-15-2004, 12:44 AM

Dusted off the wayback machine, huh Mr. Peabody?

Yotaoffroada

01-15-2004, 12:49 AM

Found it through this: http://www.pirate4x4.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=212111I clipped a bum with the mirror of my work van! (http://www.pirate4x4.com/forum/showthread.php?s+&threadid+212111)

Haole

01-15-2004, 12:51 AM

I can find stories about the Civil War in history books, but that doesn't mean I'm going to relive it.

Yotaoffroada

01-15-2004, 12:56 AM

Just following the links and thought I had something semi intelligent to say. Besides, for newbs like me, that is some funny shite to relive.

oh, and :flipoff2:

Dieselmh

11-03-2004, 12:41 PM

Just a reminder folks. I know that winter is fast approaching, and even though it's technically legal in most states, it's very unsportsmanlike to smack them while they're huddled together for warmth. At least have the common courtesy to throw some firecrackers under the bridge first, to give them a head start! :D

Dieselmh

11-03-2004, 01:47 PM

How dare you bastards ignore the bum hunting thead. Contribute, bitches, all these political posts are getting old, again! :D

Just Some Asshole

11-03-2004, 01:48 PM

How dare you bastards ignore the bum hunting thead. Contribute, bitches, all these political posts are getting old, again! :D
Shut up, I'm busy whitlling a new table leg.

MattS

11-03-2004, 01:52 PM

Dieselmh

11-03-2004, 01:53 PM

Shut up, I'm busy whitlling a new table leg.

Oh, well that's cool, carry on. You usin' a pocket knife, or a kitchen knife? Pics? You sittin' on the front porch with your dog at your feet, or are you sittin' at the kitchen table? :D Is that table leg gonna be for amatuer bum huntin', or are you turning pro? Is there gonna be a nail in one end, or are you confident enough in your skills to make a clean kill? :D

Just Some Asshole

11-03-2004, 01:56 PM

Oh, well that's cool, carry on. You usin' a pocket knife, or a kitchen knife? Pics? You sittin' on the front porch with your dog at your feet, or are you sittin' at the kitchen table? :D Is that table leg gonna be for amatuer bum huntin', or are you turning pro? Is there gonna be a nail in one end, or are you confident enough in your skills to make a clean kill? :D

I'm using my trusty case xx and I'm retaining my amatuer status by keeping the nail in the end. I wanna be in one more Bum hunting olympics before I go for the money.

Dieselmh

11-03-2004, 02:00 PM

I got a new Stiletto TiBone Titanium Hammer for this years season. Set me back $180 bucks but it will be worth every penny. Throws straight as an arrow and has great force.

It's great to see the looks on their faces when I come running yelling TEEEBOOOOONE they know it's their time to go. It's my own personal fight song.

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=20763&item=4333674012&rd=1#ebayphotohosting

That's sweet man! I can't really afford something like that right now. You should carve a skull and crossbones in it every time you make a kill, that would be impressive. Also, have you thought about painting it flat black or having it powder coated so that it's not so shiny? I'd think that it may give you away if the light reflects off of it.

EMG7895

11-03-2004, 02:07 PM

From my hunting exprierance masonry hammers seem to work very well. Thae long pionty sharp end knocks them out every time, when i'm done I just throw some newspaper and some old beer bottles on top of them to hide the evidence.

MattS

11-03-2004, 02:20 PM

That's sweet man! I can't really afford something like that right now. You should carve a skull and crossbones in it every time you make a kill, that would be impressive. Also, have you thought about painting it flat black or having it powder coated so that it's not so shiny? I'd think that it may give you away if the light reflects off of it.

It's only shiny for the first kill. No one cleans their hunting tools do they? :confused:

I don't even wash my lucky hunting underware. Lucky for me I didn't piss myself until my 19th kill. They have dried but still have a slight odor to them. Fawker saw me coming and tried to beat me down with a half eaten leg of lamb. I can't imagine how many cans it takes to buy a leg of lamb.

Dieselmh

11-03-2004, 02:21 PM

I've discovered that if you piss and crap yourself before a hunt, you can usually sneak right up on them, undetected. Last time I went out, I had showered right before I left, and I couldn't get within a block of them without spooking 'em. Also, if you splash a little Old Crow wiskey on your shirt, it'll help draw them in closer.

SilverZuk

11-03-2004, 02:43 PM

I seldom use the hammer anymore. Being the technician that I am, I have resorted to 5# bags of flour thrown from the truck window. Much more skill is required for a perfect one shot one kill hit. I still keep my hammer on the seat in case I have to go back and finish one off though.

I specifically target the panhandler bums at intersections begging for handouts.
If I get caught at a read light or slow traffic, I go around the block for a clean, high speed kill. There is nothing like seeing the white explosion of 5# of flour when tossed out the truck window at 50+ MPH.

Warning to ametures
You definitely need to sharpen your skills. I suggest using bricks before going to the advanced level. Start out practicing on mail boxes and road signs. Once you have mastered the brick, go with flour for effect. As you skill level increases, go to higher speeds. There is nothing like a 60 MPH head shot.

Early this summer I saw a bum panhandling at the end of the interstate exit ramp. I re-entered the interstate east bound, went up to the next exit and headed back to the exit.
I pulled over on the shoulder and waited. I watched the bum and traffic for over an hour. Finally, I caught my chance. There was no traffic coming, the exit ramp was clear and the light was red. I floored it. The diesel belched black smoke as it went through the gears. I hit the ramp, and letting off the throttle some. I dropped the drivers side window as the light was turning green. I quickly palmed the bag of flour and prepared for the toss. As I approached the bum was standing there with his sign, oblivious to the 5# of screaming Martha White that was about to roll him. As I tossed it, his expression changed from looking pitiful to shear terror as he saw the bag of white fury headed toward his head. He didn’t even drop the sign as I saw the white explosion in the rearview. I was laughing and watching the rear view and nearly hit the guardrail on the entrance ramp across the intersection. As I rolled back onto the throttle, I flipped down the visor and added another notch to my score card. A direct head shot at over 60 MPH.
Damn, I wish I would have had someone riding shotgun to film the hunt.

SilverZuk

11-03-2004, 02:46 PM

When waling through town, I like to use a slag hammer because they are easy to conceal. They see you coming and reaching under your coat and think you are pulling out your wallet to give them a hand out. As soon as they utter "Excuse me sir, could you spare some..." [Whack] right in the face and never hardly break stride.

Hef

11-03-2004, 07:09 PM

Real men swing 12 lb sledges, not 8's. You got yourself a girly hammer. :flipoff2:

Dip it into fresh porta-john water for increased effectiveness when hunting winos.

Haole

11-03-2004, 07:20 PM

Here's some of the hammers I use.

http://www.thckk.org/bung-remover-hammer.jpg

The bung remover hammer is particularly usefull when you're surrounded by bums.

http://www.thckk.org/1st-hammer-albrecht.jpg

For those bums that try wearing a football helmet.

http://www.thckk.org/2-odd-hammers.jpg

For when I'm feeling :evil:.

http://www.smokyvalleysentinel.com/_borders/multi%20hammer.jpg

My emergency hammer. It's best to not get stuck without one, so I use this. It fits into my pocket and works great for that unexpected opportunity. Only bad thing is that it requires a bit more weight, so I wear a wrist weight to get tht extra oomph.

LordRatner

11-03-2004, 07:27 PM

I prefer to print out all of DRM's posts and bore the whinos to death! It's not nearly as humane, but you get to watch their heads explode in slow motion! :flipoff2:
Laughing Out Loud!

bjack

11-03-2004, 07:45 PM

If I get caught at a read light or slow traffic, I go around the block for a clean, high speed kill. There is nothing like seeing the white explosion of 5# of flour when tossed out the truck window at 50+ MPH

You road hunters make me sick :mad: Next your going to tell me you leave open cans of pimento cheese in your back yard.
BTW I'm still using my grandfathers hammer that he made himself in 1929. And it still has the original handle and all!!! :D

Hickeyjones

11-03-2004, 08:09 PM

And it still has the original handle and all!!! :DPic, please?

harkinoff

11-03-2004, 09:35 PM

stoutcrawler

11-03-2004, 11:35 PM

this is my fave!

stoutcrawler

11-03-2004, 11:44 PM

i rather hammer this instead of a wino :flipoff2:

Agilt00

11-03-2004, 11:49 PM

We had a migration some time earlier this year in the Houston area of squeegee winos. You have to watch these beasts, they're bad. If you don't watch them, they'll get after your windshield and then you! Gotta be careful out there, hunting safety is paramount, always carry a backup weapon. Had a fun hunt last weekend though, good take. Got one squeegee wino with one paper wino. I decided to throw back one crack whore I took down by U of H on the south side, they are getting rarer around here, gotta keep the population up.

Me personally though, I like to hunt traditionally, but also have some nice modern toys. Personal preference is a nice hickory axe handle drilled and weighted with lead. You get good reach and a powerful hit! My sidearm, however is a nice Smith and Wesson hatchet and knife combo, good for cleanup kills, or if you get caught up in a stampede.

But the best this weekend was the squeegee wino. Man, what a rush! My setup down here is a nice little blind under I-10, and wait for one to show up on the corner. It is best to do some scouting first though, since the herd down here is pretty skittish. But my time paid off, one showed up and after waiting for him to get into a position facing away while squeegeeing a window, jump out of the blind and make the 25 yard run for the back of the skull, one hit and he's down. Some of my buddies even do a war cry running for them, usually catches them totally off gaurd, awesome hunts!

Haole

11-04-2004, 12:17 AM

i rather hammer this instead of a wino :flipoff2:

WTF are you doing? This is a perfectly serious discussion of hunting techniques and you bring bewbers into it.
:shaking:

Tbam

11-04-2004, 12:26 AM

When I was in the military we would just catch em sleeping and take their hat or someshit and get them to chase us for a bit,, but hammering them would add a whole different twist.

ONETUFF76

11-04-2004, 04:17 PM

Have I got a hunting story for you boys. The other night I'm sitting outside of the Democratic headquarters when who strolls out of the door wearing a blue dress. Yep, the fabled Monica Lewinsky, aka internus slutus maximus. I couldn't believe my eyes! But then I remembered the intern protection act of 1992. My heart sank, then I caught a wiff of something. Yep cheap wine! I then noticed her stumbling around, she was well over the legal limit, she was game! My hand reached over my shoulder for my trusty black diamond carbon fiber climbing axe, nothing. Airport security wouldn't let me carry it on the plane. Instictively I reached for my back up sheetrock framers hammer. Damn, in the shop after the Atlanta hobo fun wack. I quickly surveyed my surroundings. The lewinsky was was only feet away from the protection of some congressmans limo. I grabbed a nearby buisnessman's briefcase cracked it open to find a box of push pins. I grabbed a handful of them and turned to the nearby street food vendor. I grabbed a large straw and and loaded it with the push pins then dipped the straw into the secret sauce of the Russian vendors cart. Just as she was reaching for the handle I took a split second aim and fired. Direct hit! She stumbled backwards in terror, then tried to run but the secret sauce quickly took effect as she became disoriented. I then pulled the stapler remover from the brief case and went in to finish the job! :D Pics should be in next months American Hobo Hunter.

CRAZY S

11-04-2004, 04:59 PM

I have had excellent luck lately in the Seattle area. Such good luck that I just accepted my first sponsorship with Oscar Meyer. They have been exceptionally pleased with the quality of meat that I have been supplying them and in turn have just given me a $200,000 advance for the year to travel to Europe for what they call the BUM-HUNT. This is a small group of fellows from around the world that will be competing in a contest with a 2-day window of oppertunity to collect as many winos and bums as possibly. The winner will be given the role of President for Oscer Meyer industries.

Should be a really good event.

CRAZY S

11-04-2004, 05:14 PM

This is just a little something i've been playing with. Works something like a ninja throwing star. Excellent when hits are around the forehead.

http://www.deadontools.maasdam.com/do_gunclip.html

I like it most cause it's dull. Makes for kind of a caughterized wound. Less to clean up.

Dieselmh

11-05-2004, 07:15 AM

DRM

11-05-2004, 07:54 AM

I know I am late getting in on this - just got back from a 4 day excursion into the city where we bagged our limit every day.

Anyway, I thought I would share some of our techniques. Here's a diagram of our overpass flushing method. Simple for a 2 man team to run, but very effective. Notice the natural terrain lends itself to clean hammer kills. At worst, you get one that breaks loose and runs for the road - where a passing car or semi usually makes quick work of him.
This technique is best for culling hunts - where a good condition pelt or mount isn't desired (because of the obvious risk of losing one to traffic).

dizzybullet

11-24-2004, 10:51 PM

a typewriter or toilet is so much more damn fun and cumbersome than a hammer, fork, table leg, ect..

critterkiller

11-24-2004, 11:58 PM

I think some people here lack an appreciation for true hunting. You have to be the wino. Live amongst them in their natural habitat. After a while you begin to learn their patterns and behaviors. It will make a huge difference in your hunting sucess. When hunting in this manner, I prefer to kill them with a bottle of cheap vodka. It begins as a blunt weapon and progresses to an edged attack. I just seems to be the most natural way. Pretending to be passed out is a sure fire way to lure them in.

WARNING: You must wear 12sq" of blaze orange when hunting. Otherwise other hunters might not be able to identify you as a non-target species.

I am also a wino trapper. I know that many hunters are ethically opposed to this, but I see it as a great way to maintain the poopulation. I've had a lot of success this year with snare sets in dumpsters. Bait really varies between different sub species, so try all different kinds.

As far as hammers go though, I'm suprised no one has mentioned the venerable "dead blow" hammer. If you do end up hitting a steel plated skull with one of these, you don't have to worry about hammer recoil. Just a solid impact transfer into the prey.