Schly
08-01-2003, 03:26 PM
If you are over thirty and you have a washboard stomach, you are gay.
It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have spent
the rest of your free time doing sit ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet.
If you have a cat, you are a Flaaaaming homo. A cat is like a dog, but
gay it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate
touch except when it uses its nails, and whines to be fed. And just
think about how you call a dog..."Killer, come here! I said get your f*ckin
ass over here!" Now think about how you call a cat..."Bun bun, come to
daddy, snookums!" Jeeezus, you're fit to be framed, you're so gay.
If you suck on lollipops, Ring Pops, baby pacifiers, or any such
nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks
on bar b que ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, crawfish guts, pickled pigs feet, or
breasts. Anything else and you are in training to suck El Dicko and are
undeniably a fag.
If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a parking
lot, you're in a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is his bathroom;
he defecates and urinates where he pleases.
If you drink decaf coffee with skim milk, you like a high hard one in
the poop chute. Coffee is to be had strong, black, and full aroma. A
straight man will never be heard ordering a "Decaf Cafe Latte with Skim" and he
will never, ever know what artificial sweetener tastes like. If you've had
NutraSweet in your mouth, you've had a man there too.
If you know more than six names of colors or four different types of
dessert, you might as well be handing out free passes to your ass. A
real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all of that crap
as well as all the names of all the players in the Major league, NFL, NBA,
college ball, PGA, and NASCAR. If you can pick out chartreuse (unless
it's on a fishing lure) or you know what a "fressier" is, then you're gay.
And if you can name ANY type of textile other than denim, you are
faggadocious.
If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it......you're hungry
for a meat popsicle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at a
slow ass driver or to cut the punk off. The rest of the time he needs
that hand to change the radio station, eat a hamburger, hold his beer, or
play with the bitch in the passenger seat.
If you enjoy romantic comedies or French films, mon frere, vous le Gay,
oui? The only time it is acceptable to watch one of those is with a
woman who knows how to reward her man. Watching any of the above films by
yourself or with another man is likely to result in SHC (spontaneous
homosexual combustion), which is what happens to fags when they flame
out too quickly.
And last but NOT least: You may be gay if you reply to this post with "Repost" or any variation of such.
It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have spent
the rest of your free time doing sit ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet.
If you have a cat, you are a Flaaaaming homo. A cat is like a dog, but
gay it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate
touch except when it uses its nails, and whines to be fed. And just
think about how you call a dog..."Killer, come here! I said get your f*ckin
ass over here!" Now think about how you call a cat..."Bun bun, come to
daddy, snookums!" Jeeezus, you're fit to be framed, you're so gay.
If you suck on lollipops, Ring Pops, baby pacifiers, or any such
nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks
on bar b que ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, crawfish guts, pickled pigs feet, or
breasts. Anything else and you are in training to suck El Dicko and are
undeniably a fag.
If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a parking
lot, you're in a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is his bathroom;
he defecates and urinates where he pleases.
If you drink decaf coffee with skim milk, you like a high hard one in
the poop chute. Coffee is to be had strong, black, and full aroma. A
straight man will never be heard ordering a "Decaf Cafe Latte with Skim" and he
will never, ever know what artificial sweetener tastes like. If you've had
NutraSweet in your mouth, you've had a man there too.
If you know more than six names of colors or four different types of
dessert, you might as well be handing out free passes to your ass. A
real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all of that crap
as well as all the names of all the players in the Major league, NFL, NBA,
college ball, PGA, and NASCAR. If you can pick out chartreuse (unless
it's on a fishing lure) or you know what a "fressier" is, then you're gay.
And if you can name ANY type of textile other than denim, you are
faggadocious.
If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it......you're hungry
for a meat popsicle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at a
slow ass driver or to cut the punk off. The rest of the time he needs
that hand to change the radio station, eat a hamburger, hold his beer, or
play with the bitch in the passenger seat.
If you enjoy romantic comedies or French films, mon frere, vous le Gay,
oui? The only time it is acceptable to watch one of those is with a
woman who knows how to reward her man. Watching any of the above films by
yourself or with another man is likely to result in SHC (spontaneous
homosexual combustion), which is what happens to fags when they flame
out too quickly.
And last but NOT least: You may be gay if you reply to this post with "Repost" or any variation of such.