My digicam has dead batteries, so I can't post pics. :rolleyes:

I have this new neighbor - he must be from the bay :rainbow: area....

Anyhow, I have no parking on my property so when I load my Cruiser onto the trailer, I park the tow rig and trailer across the street and load it up, and go. There is a cross street on that side of the street (that is gravel) that this pussy fuck lives on.... A while back he approached me and told me it was illegal for me to park there, and that he works for DOT, and that I can't park there - ever. He says my truck is in his way when he wants to pull out onto the road. I basically told him "whatever, guy", and have parked there when I load my shit. My truck is always AT LEAST 20' from his road, and it's off the roadway and out of the way.

Well this weekend I borrowed my mother-in-law's travel trailer for the Fernley event... I parked it over there to clean it out before I return it to Kelly's mom tomorrow. I backed it about 40' from his road, and disconnected my truck and put it back in the driveway....

Well the :rainbow: shows up while Kelly is cleaning the trailer out, and asks how long it's going to be there. She tells him "not very long, I'm just cleaning it out". He says she needs to move it ASAP because it is blocking his vision. So she says she will move it as soon as she's done...

Just now a CHP shows up, and says he had a complaint about a trailer in the road, and an "electrical hazard in the roadway" (the extension cord I ran across the road so Kelly could vaccum. So we go out there, and he looks at it, and he says everything looks fine to him. Basically said the neighbor is a fawkin' tool for calling the CHP.

So this little fawk stick has got me pissed now. It's time for an immature war. I need ideas. I think I'll start with driving down his gravel road every day a little too fast. What else should I do?

Litter his driveway with nails :D

Gravel road+lots o skinny pedal=ROOST;)

It's a start:D

Originally posted by Lance
What else should I do?

shoot out his porch light

:D

Gravel Road? How about slightly larger gravel? I'm thinking that he might have problems getting out of his driveway if there's 1 foot tall gravel at the end of his driveway.

Put a greased-up hamster in his mailbox :D :rainbow:

Originally posted by VT_Toy
Put a greased-up hamster in his mailbox :D :rainbow:

Or a dead critter.

Does your neighbor have a pool?


Originally posted by eurobob
Gravel Road? How about slightly larger gravel? I'm thinking that he might have problems getting out of his driveway if there's 1 foot tall gravel at the end of his driveway.
:laughing:

Your best bet is to obey the law, be polite to the officers and read up on local code.

If he is always calling the cops they will take him less and less serious everytime they show and you are not doing anything wrong and are a decent guy about resolving the conflicts they will start to like you and loath him. Still a hassle but not as bad.

When you have local law on your side nit pick him using every single little thing in the law you can find. Nail him on ane building code violations you can. Beat him at his own game.

I delt with a nasty nieghbor like this baout a year ago and it worked great. Cops would show, have a cup of coffee or a cold drinnk wiht me and then go see if they could write him tickets. he stoped calling them.

Walk around outside without your shirt on, Belching loudly, and drinking lots of beer. Don't forget to swear.


If you already do this, nevermind.:D

Minced up shrimp in his cars body trim.

Definitley give the cops donuts when they show up.

Why don't you just go tell him to get the fuck out of your face before you shit on his head?

There's a guy like that across from my parent's house. He bitches whenever we bring the trailer and park it in front of our house, same reason "I can't see"

So one night we went and got all the trailers we own and parked them in front of our house, his house, neighbor's houses, etc. We had a 16' trailer, 24' BBQ pit, 20' BBQ pit, my Jeep on a trailer, and my dad's truck all parked on the street.

Guy never said anything again.

Probably an accountant for the DOT.:rolleyes:

I cannot believe that NOBODY has come up with this one...

Lance, how many friends do you have?

Put out the PBB APB and round up the posse (that is with an "O" gentlemen).

Make SURE all the rigs that show are 110% street legal. Maintain all local laws, keep the noise down, and make 110% sure you do NOT encroach on his property at all. You know a nice FAMILY BBQ or something. But just make sure he knows the kind of traffic he sees on this special event is but a single post away, so don't fuck with the PBB.

Also best to check and see "with the DOT" means... If he's the prick that holds the stop sign, it's awn... If he can have your driveway torn out for 3 years, some more planning may be required...

Originally posted by TexasBlake
Why don't you just go tell him to get the fuck out of your face before you shit on his head?

There's a guy like that across from my parent's house. He bitches whenever we bring the trailer and park it in front of our house, same reason "I can't see"

So one night we went and got all the trailers we own and parked them in front of our house, his house, neighbor's houses, etc. We had a 16' trailer, 24' BBQ pit, 20' BBQ pit, my Jeep on a trailer, and my dad's truck all parked on the street.

Guy never said anything again.


Yeah this is a great idea lance!!

Ill bring my junk up on the trailer too......and while we are there we can have some more of those cherries in the bottle:D

Originally posted by RudeZuk



Yeah this is a great idea lance!!

Ill bring my junk up on the trailer too......and while we are there we can have some more of those cherries in the bottle:D

come awn. :D:D:D

Sic Bailey on him. :D :D :D

You could introduce him to your photogenic dog.:flipoff2:

Originally posted by Gen. Nonsense
You could introduce him to your photogenic dog.:flipoff2:


I already suggested that "foo". :flipoff2:

Originally posted by SanDiegoCJ



I already suggested that "foo". :flipoff2: Yeah, I saw that...I was loligagging around wondering about gasoline and the lack thereof. :flipoff2:

I'd just start shitting in a bucket. Buy some latex gloves and make sure he knows that if he is going to start giving you some shit your going to repay the favor.

Originally posted by Gen. Nonsense
Yeah, I saw that...I was loligagging around wondering about gasoline and the lack thereof. :flipoff2:


Speaking of gas, any prognosis on when that pipeline is going to be fixed??????

Originally posted by Priest
I'd just start shitting in a bucket. Buy some latex gloves and make sure he knows that if he is going to start giving you some shit your going to repay the favor.

Man you aren't thinking big enough. A few yards (the volume not length) of fresh poo spread along both sides of the driveway will make a lasting impression. And it'll help his precious green stuff grow too.

Originally posted by SanDiegoCJ



Speaking of gas, any prognosis on when that pipeline is going to be fixed??????

Paper today said perhaps a month.

Sorry for the hijack Lance but we solved your problem...move along:flipoff2:

They have the pipeline fixed...they just need to test it. The Gov, says if it passes the test "We could have gasoline by late Sat. early Sun." If it fails, the pipeline company has repair sections readily available and gas would be available early next week. Im glad Im only 2 miles from work, makes for a nice bike ride:D

Burn his house down. Stab himin the neck with a fork.

Originally posted by Lance
My digicam has dead batteries, so I can't post pics. :rolleyes:


So this little fawk stick has got me pissed now. It's time for an immature war. I need ideas. I think I'll start with driving down his gravel road every day a little too fast. What else should I do?


Be sure to delete this thread before you do anything!;)

What is the address?
And no questions why ...:D

send him a gidder bomb as a sorry gift for what ever you end up doing.

Matt

Originally posted by killingthemonkey
Burn his house down. Stab himin the neck with a fork.

that might make a statement!!:laughing:

gallon jugs+your piss and you friends piss for a week+dumping on the lawn=pissed off neighbor:flipoff2:

Roundup put into water balloons. Makes great big brown spots on his lawn for a year or so. Or into those super soaker squirt guns.

Pull valve stem caps off, insert 1 BB, a drop of super glue to hold it in, and color with a black marker to get the shine off. Subject will take it to the tire store to get fixed, idiot at tire store will put the same "damaged" cap back on and the cycle continues.

heh another idea drain the :rainbow: gas tank and take the gas for you then fill it up with water/sand or anything else thatll really fawk with im.

Can I park my junk there in a couple of weeks?

Originally posted by CJ
Can I park my junk there in a couple of weeks?

Sure! :D

If he drives a company truck home everyday then you could call in his plate to the company and say he was touching himself while he was driving or driving wrecklessly. If he gets fired he'll have to move. Always leave your truck attached to the trailer and then its not illegal too. I'm thinking Bailey should drop a couple landmines on his yard too. Then there's nothing like the he was saying sexually explicted things to my wife lie to the cops that should cool his jets or piss him off enough for an all out war.:D

OK, newb piping in here...

This guy is US DOT or CALTRANS? If CALTRANS, it's likely my best friend is his boss... PM or email me with the details and I'll see if I can't drop a couple of names and have it "go away." He owes a debt to me as we "speak", so no biggie. Not like he can get any fawkin' gas pumped here!

Yes, I am an asskisser....

Mike

I say everyone load up the rigs n trailers like the Clampits movin to beverly hills... The party is at lance's friday night :beer:

or just post his address, A couple thousand love letters outta make him think wtf? :D

Originally posted by moveaside
If he drives a company truck home everyday

Yep, he does....

Originally posted by Lance


Yep, he does.... Well then he should have a # on the back for you to call. If its a CalTrans vehicle nothing pisses them off more than a Co. vheicle driving wrecklessly I know this from personal experience;)
I had to call one in before for a similar reason
There's your easiest ticket in getting the guy to move no more cushy state job for your bitchass

Originally posted by Danger Ranger
or just post his address,

The address is:

Next door to Lance. :flipoff2:

Lance... Does he have a nice, plush lawn?
If so, go out and fertilize the words ASSHOLE into his lawn. It'll show up for Months.

Call the cops and tell them that you saw him looking towards your house with binoculars while your wife was bathing...

Originally posted by Lance


Yep, he does....
You could post the number on the truck...:D

I like the party at Lances house idea. Park the croozah on that tree in front of the house again. He's bound to love that...;)

Originally posted by Chister


The address is:

Next door to Lance. :flipoff2:

Lance... Does he have a nice, plush lawn?
If so, go out and fertilize the words ASSHOLE into his lawn. It'll show up for Months.

Call the cops and tell them that you saw him looking towards your house with binoculars while your wife was bathing...


I was gonna say Miracle grow and DICKHEAD :flipoff2:

Originally posted by DynamicallyUnstable
I like the party at Lances house idea. Park the croozah on that tree in front of the house again. He's bound to love that...;)

Party at Lances?!?! Woo hoo!

Serving Taco Bell? :D :p

150 lb. boulders at the end of his road sounds like fun...

Originally posted by rockinredneck
150 lb. boulders at the end of his road sounds like fun...

What? My 90 pound rocks weren't a good enough idea?:flipoff2:

Park your rig in front of his house, blocking about one foot of his driveway. Let air out of one of your tires.

When he freaks, calmly explain that you were trying to get the buggy moved around, so it could be sold, since it distressed him so much, but you got a flat. And golly, does he know how hard it is to get your hands on a replacement tire that big? Apoligize profusely. He'll be so happy that you're getting rid of that eyesore, that he'll let it stay for a few hours until you can get it fixed.

Then go on vacation :D

Park the trailer where you normally do, but put some 4x8 foot plexiglass sheets on edge along the sides, like giant windows. Tell him that you're trying to make sure that you don't affect his view...

Buy a crossbow ($30 for cheap ones). Shoot a few bolts into his trees. When he freaks, tell him that you're a bad shot, but you're trying...then pull out a fake explosive tipped bolt...

Save this for when the fecal material catastrophically intersects the mechanical air displacer.

Ever heard of a piss puck? Drink a bunch of beer and eat a lot of Taco Hell. when your urine is good and amber(smelly too!) pee into a plastic bag(either zip tie or non zipper will work, if non zipper close top of bag with a twisty tie) put it in a paper bag and throw it in the freezer over night. When its frozen flat(like a pancake) undo the plastic bag but do not remove the urine "puck" Slide it under his front door or into the utility box of his truck and allow to thaw. :D

Hey man just don't do anything that will land you in trouble w/
ol' Johnny law , a little dab of skunk scent or deer in heat on the
air intake of his truck would be funny!:D

Lance, you have mail :D

go to the psot office, fill out a change of address for him.. (to a
real nasty neighborhood.

call PGE or SMUD and have the power to his house turned off.

call the phone company, and have the phone turned off.

go to the city/county office, find out all the information on him.

fill out porno/gay mag subscription cards for him.

does he have a water well-? when he's gone, hopefully on a
loooong weekend, go open up a valve.... (lotsa money to
pump water....)

there's alot stuff one to do to mess with poeple like him.

the above ones are mostyl* harmless, although very
annoying.

--Sherpa

Just DO NOT TOUCH HIS MAILBOX!!!

That's a federal offense! :eek:

Lance,
That’s and easy one.
Park you trailer across the road.

I wouldn’t worry too much about it.
Your existence is enough to piss him off, he wants you to be as miserable as he is.
Apologize for blocking his road, and ask him for advice on where you should park. Be very polite.
Just smile and wave everytime you see him. It will kill him that he can’t annoy you.

Or if you want to go the other route;
Intimidation is powerful tool if applied correctly. Insinuate and imply gestures without actually threatening him.

Hey, wait a minute Lance.

I've been to Pollak Pines. That place is beautiful, in every direction! If he's complaining about you blocking his view, just point in any other direction, and say "Look! Is that not beautiful?"

When you're surrounded by such intense beauty, how can you decide which direction to look? Just point him in another direction!

Then stick him in the neck with a fork, and fawk him in the ass.

:D

1. Buy 24 cans (1 case) of shaving cream
2. Get a small qty of liquid oxygen or nitrogen
3. Dip a can of shaving cream into liquid O2 till froze (approx. 5 sec.)
4. Pop open end with can opener
5. Throw in neighbors car
6. Repeat for all 23 other cans
7. Make sure all windows are rolled up
8. Wait for the thaw.

Originally posted by Lance
So this little fawk stick has got me pissed now. It's time for an immature war. I need ideas. I think I'll start with driving down his gravel road every day a little too fast. What else should I do?

Bleach on his lawn with the wording of your choice.;)

Plant a couple of marijuana plants in the back of his yard and then call the cops on him. :evil:

Damn Lance, that sucks. Seems like there always has to be some asshole out there. He must be :rainbow: When he saw the ever lovely Kelly out there, he should have offered to help, not tell her to hurry up:mad:
Goodluck.

Originally posted by Lance
He says she needs to move it ASAP because it is blocking his vision.


It's illegal to block someone's view?

:confused:

I seem to recall billboards, buildings and various other crap everywhere blocking my 'vision'.

tell him to get on with his miserable little life.

report seeing young boys running from his home nekkid
call the local authorities and tell them he had a nambla party that should land him in some shit .

if that dont work have one of your por demolishon derbies out front of his crib

seriously thought there is a great book by goeorg hayduke called get fucked or get screwed and get even all sorts of nasty tricks to pull

Park this there.
http://www.pirate4x4.com/lance/smash/101-0166_IMG.jpg
Did or will you get it back after all was said and done? If it is

Originally posted by CoryB
Plant a couple of marijuana plants in the back of his yard and then call the cops on him. :evil:


WHen he gets the boot, harvest :smokin::D

Originally posted by moveaside
If he drives a company truck home everyday then you could call in his plate to the company and say he was touching himself while he was driving or driving wrecklessly. If he gets fired he'll have to move. Always leave your truck attached to the trailer and then its not illegal too. I'm thinking Bailey should drop a couple landmines on his yard too. Then there's nothing like the he was saying sexually explicted things to my wife lie to the cops that should cool his jets or piss him off enough for an all out war.:D

Get a picture of him driving by and a picture of the back of the truck. I'm sure somebody here could photo chop him flipping the bird. E-mail it to the company Get another picture make it look like he's jacking off and photo shop a young girl in there and send it in as well. And send a copy to the cops. :D

And WHY exactly do you guys live in California, lol..

That sucks, unreal........:p

Find out what is the closest to his heart and go from there. Like his dog or cat and kill it. Let the freon out of the AC on his house. Cut his phone and cable lines or any other lines you can find.

Carve the word "YOU" into a pumpkin, stick a knife in it, and leave it on his doorstep.



































































UNoriginal]

Originally posted by KS Toy
Find out what is the closest to his heart and go from there. Like his dog or cat and kill it. Let the freon out of the AC on his house. Cut his phone and cable lines or any other lines you can find.

Boy words from the wise there...

$25,000 fine from the epa as this guy catches Lance on video...

Kill his Dog ?


:mad:

Originally posted by KS Toy
Find out what is the closest to his heart and go from there. Like his dog or cat and kill it. Let the freon out of the AC on his house. Cut his phone and cable lines or any other lines you can find.
Killing his A/C is much easier that you think. Jam a stick in the blower fan. Now air moving and the head presure will come up and fry the compressor. Might have to hold the breaker. Remove stick and unless he is seen no way it can be proved. Number one killer of A/C is that fan dying.

Originally posted by ChadH


Boy words from the wise there...

$25,000 fine from the epa as this guy catches Lance on video...

Kill his Dog ?


:mad:

You are not spose to get caught. You have got to do this shit at night.:rolleyes: Put some dry ice in a ball of raw hamburger, toss it into the pen or where ever and, well you can guess the rest..............

Dump a 2 liter jug of Coke in his gas tank.

If he is State of Ca DOT, Caltrans, he is not supposed to drive his vehicle home. Nobody, no how, no way. Bad bad bad for him. No non-state business. Report him to Caltrans. I know its tempting to get wierd, but have you tried to politely explain that the truck trailer is only there for a short time, and it will be moved ? We get people almost fired for stopping at Walmart in their Orange work truck during a work day lunch break, fawkin - A. Every little prick in the world thinks their ratting out a state slug....

Originally posted by KS Toy


You are not spose to get caught. You have got to do this shit at night. Put some dry ice in a ball of raw hamburger, toss it into the pen or where ever and, well you can guess the rest..............



Also a good way to get your ass kicked, fucking with someones pets. Not to mention some people like myself, who treat their dog/cat whatever like a child of their own, would take it a step further



:mad:

Originally posted by KS Toy


You are not spose to get caught. You have got to do this shit at night.:rolleyes: Put some dry ice in a ball of raw hamburger, toss it into the pen or where ever and, well you can guess the rest..............

You are a fawktard of the highest degree!!!!!!!!

Originally posted by bobjohnson

You could post the number on the truck...:D
oh hell yea, this is the best. Post the number so every one can call about how bad he drives. Report seeing his truck at Faces in Sac and other (local) astablishments across the United States. You won't be suspect and his life will be hell at work.

Hell Yeah, post somewhere OTHER than here, but let us know where to go view it, then we can ALL call in a complaint about his driving....I would do it....if they ask why someone from TX is griping, I would tell them he ran me off the road while Iwas there on vacation....LOL
fork him!

Okay, here's a good idea...

take a nice picture of his house/property.

Use the picture to create a professional, but fake, "realty" ad listing his house for sale and future open house dates. Price it competitvely low, make a few hundred copies, and distribute around the area :D

Well anything that happens it will just be assumed that Lance did it. He has to be careful what he does. Whatever you do just make it look as if it was random and in no way planned.

A silly thing we did back in the day to a guy that was an ass back in high school. We went to Tower Records and Barns and Noble and grabbed all of the magazine cards that we could and signed him up for about 250 magazines including adult mags..hehe

You all know how hard it is to cancel mags i'm sure. Especially if you check the "pay later" box.

I especially like the BBQ idea and have everyone bring their trailers over. Just amplify his complaint and he'll get pissed for sure.

Have fun.

Ken S.

Buy some of these magnetic bumper stickers and put them on his automobile.

http://www.prankplace.com/images/gfx/des_ilovegayporn.gif

http://www.prankplace.com/images/gfx/des_honkforgayrights.gif

Or some of these gag envelopes:
http://www.prankplace.com/images/gfx/sm_h.gif

Or a gag postcard:
http://www.prankplace.com/images/gfx/postcards/small1/tn_crack1.jpg

Back:
http://www.prankplace.com/images/gfx/postcards/small1/tn_crackback1.jpg

From here, http://www.prankplace.com/

:evil: