The phone rings and I answer it...

me ~ hello?
woman ~ hello
woman ~ how are you?
me ~ fine
me ~ how are you? (trying to figure out who it is)
woman ~ I'm fine
me ~ who is this?
woman ~ Martha
me ~ who are you trying to call?
woman ~ no one
me ~ ok??
woman ~ what are you doing?
me ~ hanging up the phone
*click*

WTF??? :confused: :roxy:

My balls are sooo tight











:flipoff2:

Sorry. :emb:

:eek: omg that is weird

we had one at 2:15am once... woman very upset said "I have to talk to Jerry"... ok I hand the phone to Jerry my bf... he listen's for a minute then says "what area code did you mean to dial?"... omg she had the wrong area code and the wrong Jerry...

so,
I never got a chance to ask you.... you hung up so quickly.
DO YOU LIKE SCARY MOVIES:flipoff2:

Calling people and asking them what time it is and then thanking them and hanging up is always fun too :D

Originally posted by Crash440
:eek: omg that is weird

we had one at 2:15am once... woman very upset said "I have to talk to Jerry"... ok I hand the phone to Jerry my bf... he listen's for a minute then says "what area code did you mean to dial?"... omg she had the wrong area code and the wrong Jerry... I'm sure he was wrong Jerry:rolleyes: .Ever think he had to say that :D .Did he come home late the next day?;)

I almost feel kinda bad in a strange way. What if she was lonely and might kill herself or something because no one would talk to her?? :confused: She sounded like an old lady. I just didn't have time to chat Martha!! :laughing: :roxy:

edit: Dammit...I should have told my Mom it was for her and see how long she would talk to her!! :idea: :laughing:

Originally posted by Roxywheels
I almost feel kinda bad in a strange way. What if she was lonely and might kill herself or something because no one would talk to her?? :confused: She sounded like an old lady. I just didn't have time to chat Martha!! :laughing: :roxy:

edit: Dammit...I should have told my Mom it was for her and see how long she would talk to her!! :idea: :laughing:



no, no, no.

you shoulda smeared peanut butter on the phone handle mouthpiece and let Varga at it.

:D :D

Originally posted by Mo
My balls are sooo tight











:flipoff2:


:laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing:

That was my first thought too. :D

Originally posted by Roxywheels
I almost feel kinda bad in a strange way. What if she was lonely and might kill herself or something because no one would talk to her?? :confused: She sounded like an old lady. I just didn't have time to chat Martha!! :laughing: :roxy:

edit: Dammit...I should have told my Mom it was for her and see how long she would talk to her!! :idea: :laughing:


Martha Stewart ???? :D :D :flipoff2:

The other day at the clinic someone left a message, they played "Crazy" for the entire length. I guess this wouldn't be too weird if I didn't work for a counseling office.

Originally posted by SanDiegoCJ



Martha Stewart ???? :D :D :flipoff2:

Dammit!!! Maybe it was her and she was calling to give me some tips on what to do with my old wedding dress! :laughing: :roxy:

Originally posted by rob
I'm sure he was wrong Jerry:rolleyes: .Ever think he had to say that :D .Did he come home late the next day?;)

you know after I posted t hat I thought thesame thing... god I"m soooooooooooooooooooooooo stupid :rolleyes:

Huh, I would have been too curious to hang up that fast. I like weird stuff.

A few years ago someone called here looking for jim...

me: Hello?
Caller: is jim there?
me: no jim here, you got the wrong number
caller: Sorry
Me: no problem, bye
caller: wait, dont hang up. to busy to talk for a while?
me = very confused : no thanks, bye.



:confused:

Originally posted by Mo
My balls are sooo tight











:flipoff2:

:laughing: OMG, i had totally forgotten about that guy! maybe martha is his mom! :idea: :D

I had some guy come to my door at 1:55 am on Monday asking to use my phone. :confused: Kinda weird. He was older and smaller than me, I coulda pounded him, but I was worried about getting bum-rushed quite frankly: home invasions are getting more common.

I let him use the phone, outside, and apologized (insincerely) about the 3rd degree I gave him. Frankly, I should have asked for his ID adn snapped a pic too. Told him I wouldn't be so mean but I had a family sleeping. Just to maybe let him know if you want to try anything funny, it'll be a fight to the death.

Just weird shit around here with the meth.

Originally posted by Roxywheels
I almost feel kinda bad in a strange way. What if she was lonely and might kill herself or something because no one would talk to her?? :confused: She sounded like an old lady. I just didn't have time to chat Martha!! :laughing: :roxy:

edit: Dammit...I should have told my Mom it was for her and see how long she would talk to her!! :idea: :laughing:

When people call me at night and wake me up, I wish they would kill themselves.

:tightnuts:

When my phone rings in the middle of the night, I usually answer by saying "somebody better be dead".

:laughing:

Originally posted by Chemical442
:laughing:

there he is! :laughing:

Originally posted by mudmaid


there he is! :laughing:


those were good times. i used to LOVE those stories! :D

I just punched some numbers one day when I was about 15. I got some girl on the line & talked with her for about 1/2 hour and then met her at the mall. After walking/talking in the mall w/ her, I left her & never saw her again.

Hey Roxy, This happened to me.

Ring.

M- Hello?
2 girls-- We are taking a pole. Can you name 4 types of bread.
m- White, Wheat, Wry, Italian.
2- Congrats you win a new car!
M-I dont want it.
2-Ok we will take it.
m- fine.
2-we will call you later to arrainge for the transfer of the car.
m- fine
2. Bye.
Me- No your not going anywere. I am not hanging up.
2- ok
M- So whats new in your life?
2- we just won a car!
m-Ok and what color is your new.... bla bla bla
2-bla bla bla
m- bla bla
2 bla bla

about 1 hour elapses and then I say,
M- Well I'll talk to ya later bye.
2 ok see ya later.

next day,
2- Hi its us again.
m- Hi. bla bla bla
2 bla bla ba

about 3 weeks have elapsed and every day they call to chat.
Nice girls.. Missy and Jen.

It's good to be nice. :grinpimp:

Originally posted by JeepinIan
After walking/talking in the mall w/ her, I left her & never saw her again.


LOL Why? Thats a curious story. :D

Originally posted by Chemical442



LOL Why? Thats a curious story. :D

She just did not have all the marbles a person should have, even at 15. After a little while, I wondered why she wasn't drooling on herself.

Originally posted by JeepinIan


...After a little while, I wondered why she wasn't drooling on herself.

Now thats funny! :D

Originally posted by JeepinIan


She just did not have all the marbles a person should have, even at 15. After a little while, I wondered why she wasn't drooling on herself.

:eek: you met a 15 y/o at the mall?! :flipoff2:

Originally posted by mudmaid


:eek: you met a 15 y/o at the mall?! :flipoff2:

:grinpimp:

Originally posted by JeepinIan


She just did not have all the marbles a person should have, even at 15. After a little while, I wondered why she wasn't drooling on herself.

thanks for the new sig

10:30pm
Phone rings....

Me- Hello
Guy on Phone- Is Jen there?
Me- Yes she is. (no idea who she is)
GoP- Can I talk to her?
Me- Actually she cant come to the phone right now she is sucking my dick.
GoP- WTF?!
Me- Ohhh Ugh (o-face with sounds) click

I wonder if their relationship made it?



I tell all friends and family if you call me after 9:30pm there better be some sort of emergency that requires help.

Youngest brother used to call Directory Assistance and verify the info they had.He was probably 3 - 4 years old. He would give our # and they would tell him the name and address. I caught him doing that once and folks were wondering why the bill was higher and who was calling D/A all the time.

Daren

When I was 12yrs old this young woman called my house asking for Krista. I told her no one was here by that name & that she had the wrong number. I then started to hang up but she asked if she could talk to me? Confused I asked about what. At first it was ok conversation until she wanted to talk to be about sex. As soon as she starts trying to talk dirty to me, I stop her in mid sentence & tell her I am 12yrs old. All of a sudden she hangs up. Hmmmm I must have sounded older then she thought.

Heidi

When my little sister was 3 or 4 she would always pretend to be talking on the phone. When we would ask her who she's talking to she'd say "I'm talking to Ding-A-Ling!" Ding-A-Ling was her imaginary friend who I guess got his name because the phone went ding-a-ling when it rang. :laughing::laughing::laughing:

Originally posted by GPN Family
When I was 12yrs old this young woman called my house asking for Krista. I told her no one was here by that name & that she had the wrong number. I then started to hang up but she asked if she could talk to me? Confused I asked about what. At first it was ok conversation until she wanted to talk to be about sex. As soon as she starts trying to talk dirty to me, I stop her in mid sentence & tell her I am 12yrs old. All of a sudden she hangs up. Hmmmm I must have sounded older then she thought.

Heidi

LIAR!!!No twelve year old male will do anything that may cause a female to stop talking about sex!!!:flipoff2:

Originally posted by Just Some Asshole


LIAR!!!No twelve year old male will do anything that may cause a female to stop talking about sex!!!:flipoff2:


um, I didn't know Heidi was a boy???

Originally posted by Just Some Asshole


LIAR!!!No twelve year old male will do anything that may cause a female to stop talking about sex!!!:flipoff2:


How about with the name Heidi? :rolleyes:

oops, Where's my fucking cane and dark glasses??? Maybe I should apply to NFL referee's school. :emb:









































I still stand by my statement though.:flipoff2:

Originally posted by Just Some Asshole


I still stand by my statement though.:flipoff2:


no doubt about the truth of most of the statment. I pray for the day some cute sounding woman calls me up and starts talking sex.

Originally posted by surveyboy



no doubt about the truth of most of the statment. I pray for the day ANYONE calls me up and starts talking sex.

Fixed it for ya...

I had a good one the other day while my boss was standing next to me.

Me: hello
Caller: how's it going
Me: :confused: OK
Caller: So you coming over tonight
Me: nope :evil:
Caller: why not, I have all the stuff for the football game
Me: I don't wanna watch football with you
Caller: WHAT???
Me: I'm tired of your shit
Caller: what's your problem? (angry)
me: You
Caller: stop being a dick
me: you're the dick assface
caller: what did you call me?
me: an assface
caller: what is your problem today
me: don't ask me that again. I answered your question.
caller: fawk you. I'm calling you later when your in a better mood
me: why don't you go play a round of hide and go fawk yourself
caller: WHAT!!!!!!
me: you heard me
caller: goodbye
me: goodbye, love you too! smooch
caller: click


My boss was like WHO WAS THAT. I'm like, wrong number. He breaks out in uncontrolable laughter. :laughing: :laughing:

Gotta have fun with wrong numbers. I have a few regular callers. Some little girl looking for her daddy I talk to at least twice a month and some dude from the state prision named Vlado. :shaking: :shaking: The prison wants me to pay for the call so I have never talked to him, just hea what he says in the 10 second record your name time. :rolleyes:

Danny DeVito voice* I love wrong numbers!
I recently had an answering machine message from my ex-wife:shaking: about our daughter :shaking: and how she was old enough to hear the truth and meet me.:shaking:
My GF was pretty anxious about this one.

Olan Mills Sales Call:

OM: Don't you think your family would love to get a portrait? We're having a special.
Me: I'd love to but my wife and I are both blind.
OM: Oh.........

Originally posted by Bobzooki
Olan Mills Sales Call:

OM: Don't you think your family would love to get a portrait? We're having a special.
Me: I'd love to but my wife and I are both blind.
OM: Oh.........

You inconsiderate Bastard! She dies last week in a horrible car accident! She was burned to death.. I coule hear her screams and couldnt do anything about it! How dare you call me! Did you get my name out of the obituaries??? You bastard! *click*

i got a call saturday morning pretty early...
caller:hey man the till is $20 short
me:what?
caller:THE TILL IS $20 SHORT!
me:wtf? who is this?
caller:ronaldo, wake up man
me:who?
caller:ronaldo! dude wake up, hahaha
me:who the hell are you?
caller:oh, this isn't sal?

after wheeling sunday he called again but realized pretty quickly it was the wrong number.

Originally posted by Bobzooki
Olan Mills Sales Call:

OM: Don't you think your family would love to get a portrait? We're having a special.
Me: I'd love to but my wife and I are both blind.
OM: Oh.........


ROTFLMFNO :laughing:

My Dad has used that one before with them.
At least he was telling the truth. :flipoff2: