Fartin @ work

[BIG MOE]

This is something I'd really like to touch on today.


I was programming a controller at my job and one of my co-workers was checking wiring terminations. He was about 20 feet away and the room was being built out so it had fresh sheet rock and concrete floor. A perfect echo barrier.


I am on the laptop tweaking the points and I hear 2 good rips. I mean good long sweat between the cheeks ones. I choose to ingnore and not say nothin. A third one was dished out and it was louder but sounded drier and kinda muffled. subconciously, I started to contract my belly and seek a nice fat one to balance everything to an equilibrium. Then I caught a wiff of his burger king laden gas. That crap smelt like chicken whoppers. He came over and started talking about one controller that didnt have any power.


Mutherfawker's fart was taggin along behind him like he had it on a damn leash.

Things went thru my mind.... do I say somethin?
Do I shut the F up?

I decided to walk away and look at the controller with the power issue. Later on in the make shift office we have in the building, I walked over to his desk and look at the as-built drawings. I let out this high heat blob of plasma and walked away. That shit was so hot and steamy that you could use it to make a plasma TV.

He starts to cough and yells my name. Then everyone yells my name.

OK, do yall fart around each other @ work?

[Mo]

you did the right thing.

You did the only thing that could be expected of you in that situation. Many others would have just turned and looked away. You stared death in the face and gave comfort to someone when they needed it most.

I applaud you for your intestinal fortitude. Good job.

[Dieselmh]

Funny you should bring this up. I just took the smelliest, nastiest dump I've ever taken at work. I made sure to prop the bathroom door open when I left, to ensure that I shared the joy! So far I have cleared out the breakroom, and the IT room, we'll see who else suffers the wrath. :flipoff2:

[jays68yak]

:laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: bahahahaha now thats funnay.

what I like is when you let one go in your office/cube and shit you not, someone walks in just as you finish letting it go.

[Dieselmh]

Originally posted by jays68yak
:laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: bahahahaha now thats funnay.

what I like is when you let one go in your office/cube and shit you not, someone walks in just as you finish letting it go.

That seldom happens with me, I do "crop dusting." That's when you fart, then walk around the office leaving an invisible vapor trail of death for anyone in the area! :D

[Schly]

*music*

"Here's to you Mr. Office Fart Jouster. Never to let a good one lie, always first to fight back with a gag bomb of epic proportions...

So here's to you Mr. Office Fart Jouster..."

*music*

Real Men of Genius......

[The Joker]

I try not to start the battle if at all possible. But (pun intended) I will return fire when fired upon ;)

[HighHooder]

I fart at work ALL the time:evil: I will also blame the customers for the "nausious, sour ass smell" that's lingering in the vacinity:grinpimp:

[Chaz Murray]

Originally posted by jays68yak
:laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: bahahahaha now thats funnay.

what I like is when you let one go in your office/cube and shit you not, someone walks in just as you finish letting it go.

never fails...everytime i cut down on one in my cube someone walks in

[4RunnerGuy]

Does anyone else always feel compelled to click on Big Moe's threads? You sure do have a way with words my friend. :laughing:

[Hef]

We ask for everyone to hush up, so that they may hear the fart without any outside distraction. Then we rate the performance. :D


Seeing as how we shit in portajohns all the time, you can hear the poop drop in the water. We also rate the poop splashes. I got some disgusted cheers today for my "chunks&spray" poop. It sounded like somebody tossing a handful of chicken nuggets into the water while taking a piss.

:flipoff2:

[Haole]

Originally posted by Hef
We ask for everyone to hush up, so that they may hear the fart without any outside distraction. Then we rate the performance. :D


Seeing as how we shit in portajohns all the time, you can hear the poop drop in the water. We also rate the poop splashes. I got some disgusted cheers today for my "chunks&spray" poop. It sounded like somebody tossing a handful of chicken nuggets into the water while taking a piss.

:flipoff2:

Back when I was in school, we've rated them on stink, duration, length of stink and tonal quality. It was a highly complicated system involving 4th grade math.

[paniolo]

I just let a good stinky one go today and my boss walked in to get some reports. Too bad for her that she walked over and opened the binder b4 it hit her :D I could see the pain in her eyes and it was all I could do to keep the laughter bottled up inside :D

[The Joker]

Ok that is just :barf: :barf:


How about when you damn near gas yourself out by wearing a rain suit or carhartts? You let one go......................think to yourself "no big deal" didnt smell a thing.................you bend down to do something and force all that noxious gas right out the top :nuke: :nuke:

[Hef]

ever give your woman a "dutch oven"?

:D

[The Joker]

Originally posted by Hef
ever give your woman a "dutch oven"?

:D

Never I like my wife to not be afraid to go under the covers;)

[incogrhino]

Originally posted by Hef
ever give your woman a "dutch oven"?

:D


-------------------------------------------------
Now that's love.

[BrianDamage]

hell yeah, I'm a construction worker...we fart at work all the time... about the only "off-limits" is while we are eating.

the appropriate responses to your co-worker would have been

"goddamn! you shit your pants, didn't 'ya?"

"what crawled up your ass and died?"

"stinky bastard"

"get any on 'ya?"

"think you need to wipe after that one"

[ForestCam]

Only thing I would have done differently is I would have pointed to the as-builts and said "someone forgot the exhaust fan" then rip one and walk away.:D

[Hef]

I almost forgot!!:eek:

My buddy Aaron brings his pit bull Koa to work every day. It's particularly funny to fart on his head. :D

[ForestCam]

Originally posted by Hef
I almost forgot!!:eek:

My buddy Aaron brings his pit bull Koa to work every day. It's particularly funny to fart on his head. :D

Aaron's or Koa's?:confused:

[Hef]

Originally posted by ForestCam


Aaron's or Koa's?:confused:


Sorry.....Koa. :D

[ForestCam]

Originally posted by Hef



Sorry.....Koa. :D

What, you got something against Aaron? Why don't you fart on his head too?

[Hef]

Originally posted by ForestCam


What, you got something against Aaron? Why don't you fart on his head too?


If I'm standing on a ladder above him I do. Another fine trick of mine is this:

We are installing bath hardware in a new house. I mark out the locations and he follows me with the drill. I make sure to get into a bathroom with him being further from the door. I let one loose then haul ass, holding the door shut behind me.

Gets that fawker every time. :D He's always doing that shit to me so Fart Wars are ON.

[ForestCam]

Best one is when they're under the kitchen sink, walk up and rip a big one right in the cupboard.:laughing:

[GonZu]

I fartted today,
in my enclosed office,
without a window

damn thing had a chain, so I ran for cover

I've been banished from the elevator now :flipoff2:

[BrokeYJ]

We try to catch someone just as they answer the phone. That way they are trapped and cant run away.

[D-RAT]

best thread ever on PBB.

Leaving one on the elevator is best. The elevators in our building are sloooooowwwww.

Ever go to the shitter at work and see the gigantic skidmark all down the side of the bowl? You think to yourself that the guy before you must have shit a loaf of bread or something.

[76Cruiser]

That is a whole 'nother topic. I hate coming in and finding that someone has left a streak somehow on the back edge of the lid. WTF is that? I usually hit the crapper first thing in the morning at work since it is nice and fresh from the cleaning crew the night before. Actually, they just got done. Be back in about 10 minutes.:flipoff2:

[moveaside]

Try farting in the freezers at my work. The cold air seems to concentrate the gas into a lethal injection in your nose. The only thing worse is the bathtub fart:eek:

[D-RAT]

Another work phenomenon is the after shave shit. This is from guys over 50. Walk into the mens room and it smells like someone crapped in a bottle of old spice. Christ, I'd rather just smell the shit straight up rather than catching a whiff of a crap cocktail.

And I won't even get started on cheap ass employers who supply 1 ply TP. Um, is that dirt under your fingernails?

[jeep94xj]

My boss, and one of my fellow employees can cclear the whole garage at will. Usual thing is to rip one off, and then stare at the floor, the wall, the celing, trying to look for the noise. :D The boss had to go home the other day to change after a small accident in his shorts. :p

[Dieselmh]

Originally posted by The Joker

How about when you damn near gas yourself out by wearing a rain suit or carhartts?

When I worked for AMAT, we had to wear cleanroom suits. They're made to keep hair, skin, and dust particles in. They also work very well at keeping fart particles in also. If you had an unusually nasty fart, you usually had to go to the air lock, open your suit, and run around waving it like a cape until it aired out! :D

[D-RAT]

Fart particles? Dude, you shit your pants.

[Dieselmh]

Originally posted by D-RAT
Fart particles? Dude, you shit your pants.

All quality farts contain heavy stink particles. If you're not aware of fart paticles, you must be a newbie stinkologist. Why don't you go do some research, and come back when you're more versed on the ways of the farting ninja! :flipoff2:

[76Cruiser]

Originally posted by jeep94xj
The boss had to go home the other day to change after a small accident in his shorts. :p

:laughing: :laughing: :laughing:

"Oops. That wasn't a fart!":mad:

[Welby]

Originally posted by Dieselmh


When I worked for AMAT, we had to wear cleanroom suits. They're made to keep hair, skin, and dust particles in. They also work very well at keeping fart particles in also. If you had an unusually nasty fart, you usually had to go to the air lock, open your suit, and run around waving it like a cape until it aired out! :D

Marinating in your own funk! Awesome....

I like to crop dust the stairwell first thing in the morning, a move I like to call "Stairway to Hell"