Habenero peppers burns you both ways

[BIG MOE]

Like that ole shriveled up sicilian lady on the Golden Gurls:

Picture it: Moe with tears in his eyes while sitting on the toilet.

Hands clasped and tighten as each habenero pepper layered shredded doo doo plops out and sizzles when it hits the water.

Wait.

Things get worse.

I got the freakin TV blaring in the next room and I hear the piano playing and knew that Will & Grace was coming on. A very frustrating monent cause I realized that I was also sweating and plus I hate that goddamn show.

More problems..

My wife is pitter pattering doing girly shit outside the bathroom area. Things that totally ruin my technical shitting that requires precsion and concertration. It's hot dookie for shit's sake, I want it out, FAST!! That takes thinking and QUIET!

Let's go back to the future to see how all this happened, shall we?



I am at my friend's house. We are looking thru truck mags and seeing how I can hook my rig up. Accessories and junk. I dont want to go too all out, but I do want to get away from the plain look. We are getting hungry and break into his kitchen and get a few things to eat. He pulls out these peppers in a jar and a tooth pick.

.......... "Hey Moe, wanna pepper?"

Moe: OK.

Friend: be careful eating them, theyre hot.

Moe: Naa, I can take it. (and I toss 3 in my mouth and begin to chomp).. this was very dumb

Moe: (wrestling to get the coke off the table to drink) I got the coke and started to chug... the carbon base began to make my mouth feel like I drank battery acid. I lost all reasoning..... JESUS! it was a COLD drink, The hot should go away!! ...................................... So after I was finished with the swiffer mop, cleaning all the slob and drool on the floor, I went home and ended duffeled on the toilet .


Thank got I checked the TP status before I shitted.

[85TrailToy]

BWAAAAAAAHAHAHAHA!:laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing:

You ain't too bright are ya? :flipoff2:


**just so you know, thems is the hottest peppers on the planet. You're lucky you didn't croak!

[sickfab]

ICE CREAM. VANILLA ICE CREAM.

[DozerDan]

not as well written, but contained the funny visual that was present in the 'denny's shitter story'

[JeepinDoug]

Originally posted by sickfab
ICE CREAM. VANILLA ICE CREAM.

Yep, or milk. Too late for you though, unless you wanna dairy douche.

[DVanVorous]

You now realise why folks that eat "hot" regularly also have a fair bit of bread and milk product associated with the meal now?

This works fer me at the forward end, but with my gut peppers tend to sublime from solid to gas which results in something vaugely reminicent of a combination of beans and pepper spray... :D

D.

[Dog House]

Hey Moe, that's funnay, but not as funny as going to mall dressed as a woman for cash! Or the check out line at Sears! :laughing:

:beer: for ya!

jimmy

[Haole]

Methinks the newbies just don't know...:rolleyes:

[DaGimp]

Daves insanity sauce, that will light your fire :)....

And it burns both ways :D

[Whitewater]

can't top a BM (heheh) story but I feel your pain. My buddy lives in back of this little ol hispanic couple. They've got a few bushes growing in the yard.
One day I show up to his house pretty hung over. We're on our way outta town and he knows I'm hungover. He picks a pepper and says here, this will cure you. In a sober mind I wouldn't even have considered it but I took a bite outta the bastard and immediatly tears ran down my face and rolled off the chin. snot was dripping out of my nose and I started hickuping uncontrolably. I was sweating profusely and swore I was gonna hurl. Nothing I did could drown the fire in my throat. Of course my buddies were laffin their asses off but he was right, as soon as my stomach quit feeling upset my hangover didn't bother me anymore...

[KDIO]

NOT MO... :grinpimp:

[dpenney]

Originally posted by KDIO
NOT MO... :grinpimp:

I concur, that was not up to standards of the old BMH stories.

[trampas]

Originally posted by KDIO
NOT MO... :grinpimp:

fawkin newbie! :flipoff2:

of course it is, KDIO! :p

here's proof:

ended duffeled on the toilet

:D

[85TrailToy]

Originally posted by BBurris


They aren't that bad. I make salsa with them a lot.

I worked at an ag research station for a while and we had a greehouse full of peppers. We actually had a couple that are hotter.

This is the only one I could remember a name on:

"Dremann's Hotness Scale for the tiny Tepín=20,000-50,000 with seeds removed, which means one ounce of dried pepper pods will produce a detectable hotness in 20,000-50,000 ounces of salsa! This is several times hotter than the Orange or Red Habaneros. The only other pepper in the world coming close to the Tepín is the White Bullet™ Habanero."

Dremanns Hotness Scale??:rolleyes: I'm pretty sure peppers are still measured, by most people, on the Scovill Scale,
which is an actual measurement of capsaicin content. The Habaneros come out on top on that scale.
Another list here (http://groups.msn.com/FoodiesCorner/scovillescale.msnw)
http://mywebpages.comcast.net/piranha4x/peppers.jpg

[ScottFJ40]

I've had scotch bonnet peppers. They are kissing cousins to haberneros. They are just as hot too, but they have a little sweetness to them.

Check out the heat scale here http://www.thescarms.com/hotstuff/pepperfacts.htm

Oh yeah, wash hands before handling the peepee, ask me how I know........:mad3: :mad3:

[dumplin]

hispanic accent ; oooooo, come awnn ice cream ! Hey man go shit in the creek next time .
:flipoff2:

[SanDiegoCJ]

Originally posted by ScottFJ40

Oh yeah, wash hands before handling the peepee, ask me how I know........:mad3: :mad3:


BAAWWHAHAHAHA :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing:

A buddy of mine forgot to wash his hands after cutting up a bunch
of raw peppers for some salsa. He went to the bathroom and
shortly after the door closed we heard this VERY loud screaming. :laughing:

[Frankenyota]

Originally posted by ScottFJ40

Oh yeah, wash hands before handling the peepee, ask me how I know........:mad3: :mad3: [/B]

I hear that!! I cut up some habeneros for chili a few months ago and just haphazardly rinsed my hands off without soap or scrubbing very good. Went to take a leak and underwent 10 of the most agonizing minutes of my life!! I was icing the poor fella down, running cold water over him and dancing around like something out of an american wedding movie. That really really sucked. Apparently you also found out the hard way just how painful it can be :eek:

[ScottFJ40]

LOL , I had short scott in the sink, running cold water on it! That's a mistake I will NEVER make again.

[kwrangln]

Originally posted by dozernad
not as well written, but contained the funny visual that was present in the 'denny's shitter story'

Damn, I cant find that thread, that was some funny shit.

[NOODLES]

Originally posted by BIG MOE
Like that ole shriveled up sicilian lady on the Golden Gurls:

Picture it: Moe with tears in his eyes while sitting on the toilet.

Hands clasped and tighten as each habenero pepper layered shredded doo doo plops out and sizzles when it hits the water.hot and spicey poo, hot and spicey poo, hot and spicey poo........blah in the blah blah blah, hot and spicey poo

with the swiffer mop, cleaning all the slob and drool on the floor, I went home and ended duffeled on the toilet .


Thank got I checked the TP status before I shitted.


real good buffalo wings, and hot and spicey fried pork skins will do the same. burning anus fire

[JeepCrawler98]

Wuss - the only thing Habaneros do to me is give me a runny nose and bad gas :flipoff2: The key to eating spicy foods is to NOT let it touch your lips - thats what makes it feel all irritating.

[85TrailToy]

Originally posted by ScottFJ40
I had short scott in the sink...

:laughing::laughing::laughing::laughing:

[Grim Reaper]

ROFLMFAO


Damn Moe I sure missed reading this stuff for the last year. Glad your back!

[Warlock]

Damn...even my 10 year old son eats them things. Then again he was eating tabasco at 6 months.:flipoff2:

Dave's Insanity Sauce...that's good eating. Kicked my brother in laws ass, it did. I gave him a bottle to try and told him just to use a drop to start, so he smothered his steak with it. One bite and his dinner was over (literally, he was done for the evening). He said he tried to feed it to the dog and even the dog left it :D

[TEX]

Originally posted by SanDiegoCJ

A buddy of mine forgot to wash his hands after cutting up a bunch
of raw peppers for some salsa. He went to the bathroom and
shortly after the door closed we heard this VERY loud screaming. :laughing:

I did one worse. DID wash my hands, but that stuff sticks with you for awhile if you've been cutting up some of the hotter ones. So, not realizing the hands weren't completely pepper free, I wiped my eyes :eek:


TEX

[TEX]

Originally posted by kwrangln


Damn, I cant find that thread, that was some funny shit.



That's 'cause it wasn't Denny's. It was Ryan's Steakhouse. Do a google search & you'll find it ;)


TEX

[BobBarry]

Originally posted by TEX
I did one worse. DID wash my hands, but that stuff sticks with you for awhile if you've been cutting up some of the hotter ones. So, not realizing the hands weren't completely pepper free, I wiped my eyes :eek:

Did the same thing, but with removing my contact-lenses (had to throw that pair away, and it took hours for my eyes to stop watering). Now I use latex work-gloves when handling habaneros in the kitchen.