I need some tips from guys that have done it. Basically I have a stock girl chassis and want to update it with bling parts that look great and make her move drivable. I also need to upgrade the thought area upstairs and get her to move like a lynx. Help man.....I am not out of tool life yet

need the year make and model

some detailed pictures of the headlights and rear end could help out as well

I will see if I can take some sneak peak pictures from different angles...its hard to get the camera near the garage if you know what I am saying

If it's in good shape, send it over and I will do the conversion.

all too well, my friend. all too well.

Sometimes a trade-in on a newer, faster model is all you can do..lol

If it's in good shape, send it over and I will do the conversion.


Moby I am afraid that you will wreck it :eek:

Sometimes a trade-in on a newer, faster model is all you can do..lol


This is true but the older beater box is still good yet...

real women are built, not bought :flipoff2: :flipoff2:
need pics to determine if the investment will pay off.

Like I said its hard to get the camera to the garage....I am really looking for a cost effective and simple conversion, I know their are cheaper ways than this :(

http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y29/bulltear/deemond.jpg

[QUOTE=MC]Moby I am afraid that you will wreck it :eek:

Yes, Yes I will.

You need the right tool for the right job. :smokin:

[QUOTE=MC]Moby I am afraid that you will wreck it :eek:

Yes, Yes I will.

You need the right tool for the right job. :smokin:

:cool2:

She needs something (vibrator) to keep her battery strong when you are unavailable to take her for a spin. Believe me, giving her the ability to keep herself revving while you can't drive her, will make her hunger to go when you do have the time.

sometimes the only way to tune up an older model engine is to change the fuel you run in it.

i suggest Tequila. :D

I tried everything...I rotated the tires, cleaned the carb, buffed the hood and even cleaned the headlights and she just doesnt perform like I want her too

sometimes the only way to tune up an older model engine is to change the fuel you run in it.

i suggest Tequila. :D

I think thats one of the main problems....she doesnt have a filler for booze...I think its definately a flat spot in the power curve

Slap it in the tail pipe!!!! :flipoff2:

Slap it in the tail pipe!!!! :flipoff2:


:laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: Really its more like dual exhaust sometimes

Oh hell.. you guys are not representin' the fine art of upgrading.

First.. you need to not look at the vehicle... you need to look at the owner.
You need to first get an overhaul for yourself. No self respecting Metrosexual garage owner is going to go out for a rid in his car looking like crap.. If you got a nice looking car, you need to be nice looking yourself. Shave your face. Comb your hair. Get a haircut. Groom yourself. and I mean this seriously... to the point of being Metroxesual.

I mean.. if you want to drive a chevy widebody.. no one cares how you look. But if you are wanting to show off your Cougar or your Jaguar... you better damn well look the part. Get some new clothes, some shiny polished shoes. Get dapper, man!

Get yourself in the gym. I mean, if you are going to be manhandling the equipment, you nbeed to be in shape. It's a lot easier to get your rods in the slots if you have the biceps, chest and lats to move it efficiently.

Now.. about your car. Cars are not objects. They are items to be adored and luxuried. If you want your Jaguar to be good to you, you need to be good to it. Take it down to a detail salon and have them detail your car. Ig your car likes it, get it waxed... Some cars like to be waxed in vertain areas, like right above the grill... others like to be waxed all over , even in the crevices of the trunk. (I hear that is quite popular with the newer cars, especially) If your car needs a new paint job, take it out to a shop and let it pick out as many paint jobs as it wants. Especially if it wants a whole bunch of undercoatings..

Now.. every car comes with two headlights. Typically these headlights last the lifetime of the vehicle. However, in recent years, it has become popular to upgrade the car's headlights from the older dimmer halogens to the new brighter and perkier blue-light highbeams. buying a new set of headlights for your car should be done with caution and after very careful consideration. I think if you listen to your car, it will tell you wheterh or not it wants new headlights.

Similarly, a lot of vehicles, especially pickup trucks are having their rear bumpers replaced with the valances off of sports cars. Most common that I see, is when a Chevy widebody pickup gets its bumper upgraded to an aftermarket Chevy Corvette rear end. It gives the car a racier, sleeker and sexier appearance.

Now.. one of the most important accessories that you can buy for your car to tranform it from a Chevy Caprice into a Jaguar is all of the Bling Bling accessories. Face it... no Caprice has Gold details, Platinum wheels, and silver dash accessories - these are things you find on the high dollar cars like the Jaguar.. You will notice a jaguar typically is resp[lendent with Gold trim, Silver highlights and even Platinum accessory pieces. Of all of the Bling Blings that you can add on, there is one piece that is the MOST important. This is the Carbon Fiber Drivers Side (Left) marker beacon. Each car that is owned must have a minimum of one Carbon beacon. and this carbon beacon must be real. Dont fall for or settle for a cheap glass imitation - they just down work as well. Get your car the biggest and best carbon beacon you can find. You may even accessorize the primary beacon with a number of smaller ancillaray carbon beacons. you can have several on the drives side, and some even put a few beacons on the passenger side of their jaguars. Also.. and this is very important.. you need to remember to buy a pair of Mirror beacons as well.. (Carbon of course).

Now that you have your Jaguar dressed up and waxed, and have a new color scheme on it, what are you going to do with it? No car wants to sit in the garage and collect dust. and it sure doesnt want to just haul the kids around. The best thing you can do, is pick a special night to take your jaguar out for a drive. You need to take care of some things first. YOu may need to go get a rental car for the night to use to shuttle the kids around in. Choose something really cheap and really new. Something like a Toyota Colroola or a Ford Festiva. Maybe even a Geo Metro. Just make sure it is something that your Jaguar will not get jealous of. For example, one member here on PBB even went so far as to purchase another car just for the kids. It was a German minivan, IIRC. It is nice to look at, but it still pales in comparison to his Jaguar, and the Jaguar knows that. It does not feel threatened to let the kids ride in the minivan.
So.., where to take your jaguar... tak your jaguar out to a gathering place, or if your city has one, a jaguar owners club. Line your jag up against all of the other pretty jags, and then... continually remark that sure the others are pretty, but a lot of them have had 10-15 previous owners, theyve been driven hard, and abused. Most of them are not really even that pretty once you start looking at their interiors or under the hood. Let your jaguar know it is the pretties, fastest, perkiest car on the face of the plane Now that you have taken your car to the club, you might consider taking it to a good Gas station and fill it up.. you need to make sure it is tanked up if you are planning on racing it later in the evening.., Take your credit card.. most jaguars, when taken out on the town will require large amounts of fuel. Speaking of fuel, go for the highest octane fuel you can find. You may want to even mix a little alcohol in to really get your jaguar tanked up.

after you get it tanked up, drive it around town. Look good with your jaguar. Let everyone know YOU have the best jaguar in town.

Then take your jaguar home. Park it in the garage and put it to bed so to speak. Wipe it down gently. You may even want to give it a good rubdown before you get out the lubricant and change the oil. remember... the lubricant and your fluids go under the front hood only. There are a few cars... very few... whose engines and ignition systems are in the trunk. But primary concern should be paid attention to the front end.

If you do all of these things, your Caprice will turn into a Jaguar and it will be a hot ride for years to come. :D

Damn man! I ain't readin all that! If i gotta read that much I'm going back to whatever I can get.

Damn man! I ain't readin all that! If i gotta read that much I'm going back to whatever I can get.



You must drive a Yugo. :laughing:

That was good..... How long did it take for you to compose that ???

Oh hell.. you guys are not representin' the fine art of upgrading....If you do all of these things, your Caprice will turn into a Jaguar and it will be a hot ride for years to come. :D

very clever, darlin' :laughing:
but I prefer emeralds...dark green beauties.... :smokin:

but Jaguar is one of my favorite cars....... :laughing: :cool2: :laughing:

hubby says I am a Ferrari 308GT - I just asked.....

you guys are coming up with some funnay lately...... :laughing:

Oh hell.. you guys are not representin' the fine art of upgrading.

First.. you need to not look at the vehicle... you need to look at the owner.
You need to first get an overhaul for yourself. No self respecting Metrosexual garage owner is going to go out for a rid in his car looking like crap.. If you got a nice looking car, you need to be nice looking yourself. Shave your face. Comb your hair. Get a haircut. Groom yourself. and I mean this seriously... to the point of being Metroxesual.

I mean.. if you want to drive a chevy widebody.. no one cares how you look. But if you are wanting to show off your Cougar or your Jaguar... you better damn well look the part. Get some new clothes, some shiny polished shoes. Get dapper, man!

Get yourself in the gym. I mean, if you are going to be manhandling the equipment, you nbeed to be in shape. It's a lot easier to get your rods in the slots if you have the biceps, chest and lats to move it efficiently.

Now.. about your car. Cars are not objects. They are items to be adored and luxuried. If you want your Jaguar to be good to you, you need to be good to it. Take it down to a detail salon and have them detail your car. Ig your car likes it, get it waxed... Some cars like to be waxed in vertain areas, like right above the grill... others like to be waxed all over , even in the crevices of the trunk. (I hear that is quite popular with the newer cars, especially) If your car needs a new paint job, take it out to a shop and let it pick out as many paint jobs as it wants. Especially if it wants a whole bunch of undercoatings..

Now.. every car comes with two headlights. Typically these headlights last the lifetime of the vehicle. However, in recent years, it has become popular to upgrade the car's headlights from the older dimmer halogens to the new brighter and perkier blue-light highbeams. buying a new set of headlights for your car should be done with caution and after very careful consideration. I think if you listen to your car, it will tell you wheterh or not it wants new headlights.

Similarly, a lot of vehicles, especially pickup trucks are having their rear bumpers replaced with the valances off of sports cars. Most common that I see, is when a Chevy widebody pickup gets its bumper upgraded to an aftermarket Chevy Corvette rear end. It gives the car a racier, sleeker and sexier appearance.

Now.. one of the most important accessories that you can buy for your car to tranform it from a Chevy Caprice into a Jaguar is all of the Bling Bling accessories. Face it... no Caprice has Gold details, Platinum wheels, and silver dash accessories - these are things you find on the high dollar cars like the Jaguar.. You will notice a jaguar typically is resp[lendent with Gold trim, Silver highlights and even Platinum accessory pieces. Of all of the Bling Blings that you can add on, there is one piece that is the MOST important. This is the Carbon Fiber Drivers Side (Left) marker beacon. Each car that is owned must have a minimum of one Carbon beacon. and this carbon beacon must be real. Dont fall for or settle for a cheap glass imitation - they just down work as well. Get your car the biggest and best carbon beacon you can find. You may even accessorize the primary beacon with a number of smaller ancillaray carbon beacons. you can have several on the drives side, and some even put a few beacons on the passenger side of their jaguars. Also.. and this is very important.. you need to remember to buy a pair of Mirror beacons as well.. (Carbon of course).

Now that you have your Jaguar dressed up and waxed, and have a new color scheme on it, what are you going to do with it? No car wants to sit in the garage and collect dust. and it sure doesnt want to just haul the kids around. The best thing you can do, is pick a special night to take your jaguar out for a drive. You need to take care of some things first. YOu may need to go get a rental car for the night to use to shuttle the kids around in. Choose something really cheap and really new. Something like a Toyota Colroola or a Ford Festiva. Maybe even a Geo Metro. Just make sure it is something that your Jaguar will not get jealous of. For example, one member here on PBB even went so far as to purchase another car just for the kids. It was a German minivan, IIRC. It is nice to look at, but it still pales in comparison to his Jaguar, and the Jaguar knows that. It does not feel threatened to let the kids ride in the minivan.
So.., where to take your jaguar... tak your jaguar out to a gathering place, or if your city has one, a jaguar owners club. Line your jag up against all of the other pretty jags, and then... continually remark that sure the others are pretty, but a lot of them have had 10-15 previous owners, theyve been driven hard, and abused. Most of them are not really even that pretty once you start looking at their interiors or under the hood. Let your jaguar know it is the pretties, fastest, perkiest car on the face of the plane Now that you have taken your car to the club, you might consider taking it to a good Gas station and fill it up.. you need to make sure it is tanked up if you are planning on racing it later in the evening.., Take your credit card.. most jaguars, when taken out on the town will require large amounts of fuel. Speaking of fuel, go for the highest octane fuel you can find. You may want to even mix a little alcohol in to really get your jaguar tanked up.

after you get it tanked up, drive it around town. Look good with your jaguar. Let everyone know YOU have the best jaguar in town.

Then take your jaguar home. Park it in the garage and put it to bed so to speak. Wipe it down gently. You may even want to give it a good rubdown before you get out the lubricant and change the oil. remember... the lubricant and your fluids go under the front hood only. There are a few cars... very few... whose engines and ignition systems are in the trunk. But primary concern should be paid attention to the front end.

If you do all of these things, your Caprice will turn into a Jaguar and it will be a hot ride for years to come. :D


Quite possibly the best reply to any thread I have ever read,


Oh and by the way you have WAY to much time on your hands... :flipoff2: :flipoff2:

That was good..... How long did it take for you to compose that ???


Started right after I read the post that was posted at 10:18.... but before the 10:21 post.
I also ate a pizza in there somewhere, too.

I'm not reading that long reply, but you guys can be awfully creative sometimes.

So does that mean I am what I love? And is that a good or bad thing?

I'm not reading that long reply, but you guys can be awfully creative sometimes.

So does that mean I am what I love? And is that a good or bad thing?




^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Cherry Red 2006 Shelby Mustang
Sporty, Young, Pretty, and VERY fun to drive.
Not quite ready to put a kids car seat in it.
Lots of fire under the hood, but also makes it easy to lose control of it if not handled properly.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Cherry Red 2006 Shelby Mustang
Sporty, Young, Pretty, and VERY fun to drive.
Not quite ready to put a kids car seat in it.
Lots of fire under the hood, but also makes it easy to lose control of it if not handled properly.
Actually thats a 2002 Yellow Mustang GT Conv. :D

Actually thats a 2002 Yellow Mustang GT Conv. :D
OK.. soits been around the block a few times, but is still a sports car.. and a beautiful one at that..

Plus... it takes its top of out in public. :D

OK.. soits been around the block a few times, but is still a sports car.. and a beautiful one at that..

Plus... it takes its top of out in public. :D
EXCUSSSE ME? My baby has LOW mileage thank you very much. :flipoff2:

EXCUSSSE ME? My baby has LOW mileage thank you very much. :flipoff2:


I said BLOCK...

Not that it had toured the country and alll 50 states. ;)

If it's in good shape, send it over and I will do the conversion.


LMFNO!
:eek: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing:

Oh hell.. you guys are not representin' the fine art of upgrading.

First.. you need to not look at the vehicle... you need to look at the owner.
You need to first get an overhaul for yourself. No self respecting Metrosexual garage owner is going to go out for a rid in his car looking like crap.. If you got a nice looking car, you need to be nice looking yourself. Shave your face. Comb your hair. Get a haircut. Groom yourself. and I mean this seriously... to the point of being Metroxesual.

I mean.. if you want to drive a chevy widebody.. no one cares how you look. But if you are wanting to show off your Cougar or your Jaguar... you better damn well look the part. Get some new clothes, some shiny polished shoes. Get dapper, man!

Get yourself in the gym. I mean, if you are going to be manhandling the equipment, you nbeed to be in shape. It's a lot easier to get your rods in the slots if you have the biceps, chest and lats to move it efficiently.

Now.. about your car. Cars are not objects. They are items to be adored and luxuried. If you want your Jaguar to be good to you, you need to be good to it. Take it down to a detail salon and have them detail your car. Ig your car likes it, get it waxed... Some cars like to be waxed in vertain areas, like right above the grill... others like to be waxed all over , even in the crevices of the trunk. (I hear that is quite popular with the newer cars, especially) If your car needs a new paint job, take it out to a shop and let it pick out as many paint jobs as it wants. Especially if it wants a whole bunch of undercoatings..

Now.. every car comes with two headlights. Typically these headlights last the lifetime of the vehicle. However, in recent years, it has become popular to upgrade the car's headlights from the older dimmer halogens to the new brighter and perkier blue-light highbeams. buying a new set of headlights for your car should be done with caution and after very careful consideration. I think if you listen to your car, it will tell you wheterh or not it wants new headlights.

Similarly, a lot of vehicles, especially pickup trucks are having their rear bumpers replaced with the valances off of sports cars. Most common that I see, is when a Chevy widebody pickup gets its bumper upgraded to an aftermarket Chevy Corvette rear end. It gives the car a racier, sleeker and sexier appearance.

Now.. one of the most important accessories that you can buy for your car to tranform it from a Chevy Caprice into a Jaguar is all of the Bling Bling accessories. Face it... no Caprice has Gold details, Platinum wheels, and silver dash accessories - these are things you find on the high dollar cars like the Jaguar.. You will notice a jaguar typically is resp[lendent with Gold trim, Silver highlights and even Platinum accessory pieces. Of all of the Bling Blings that you can add on, there is one piece that is the MOST important. This is the Carbon Fiber Drivers Side (Left) marker beacon. Each car that is owned must have a minimum of one Carbon beacon. and this carbon beacon must be real. Dont fall for or settle for a cheap glass imitation - they just down work as well. Get your car the biggest and best carbon beacon you can find. You may even accessorize the primary beacon with a number of smaller ancillaray carbon beacons. you can have several on the drives side, and some even put a few beacons on the passenger side of their jaguars. Also.. and this is very important.. you need to remember to buy a pair of Mirror beacons as well.. (Carbon of course).

Now that you have your Jaguar dressed up and waxed, and have a new color scheme on it, what are you going to do with it? No car wants to sit in the garage and collect dust. and it sure doesnt want to just haul the kids around. The best thing you can do, is pick a special night to take your jaguar out for a drive. You need to take care of some things first. YOu may need to go get a rental car for the night to use to shuttle the kids around in. Choose something really cheap and really new. Something like a Toyota Colroola or a Ford Festiva. Maybe even a Geo Metro. Just make sure it is something that your Jaguar will not get jealous of. For example, one member here on PBB even went so far as to purchase another car just for the kids. It was a German minivan, IIRC. It is nice to look at, but it still pales in comparison to his Jaguar, and the Jaguar knows that. It does not feel threatened to let the kids ride in the minivan.
So.., where to take your jaguar... tak your jaguar out to a gathering place, or if your city has one, a jaguar owners club. Line your jag up against all of the other pretty jags, and then... continually remark that sure the others are pretty, but a lot of them have had 10-15 previous owners, theyve been driven hard, and abused. Most of them are not really even that pretty once you start looking at their interiors or under the hood. Let your jaguar know it is the pretties, fastest, perkiest car on the face of the plane Now that you have taken your car to the club, you might consider taking it to a good Gas station and fill it up.. you need to make sure it is tanked up if you are planning on racing it later in the evening.., Take your credit card.. most jaguars, when taken out on the town will require large amounts of fuel. Speaking of fuel, go for the highest octane fuel you can find. You may want to even mix a little alcohol in to really get your jaguar tanked up.

after you get it tanked up, drive it around town. Look good with your jaguar. Let everyone know YOU have the best jaguar in town.

Then take your jaguar home. Park it in the garage and put it to bed so to speak. Wipe it down gently. You may even want to give it a good rubdown before you get out the lubricant and change the oil. remember... the lubricant and your fluids go under the front hood only. There are a few cars... very few... whose engines and ignition systems are in the trunk. But primary concern should be paid attention to the front end.

If you do all of these things, your Caprice will turn into a Jaguar and it will be a hot ride for years to come. :D


Soooooooooo anyone know a shortcut

Soooooooooo anyone know a shortcut
If you are not willing to invest a little patience in upgrading your existing car, then the only opeion is to sell this one and buy a new one. But be warned.. there are STIFF fines and penalties for getting rid of a perfectly good car.

Soooooooooo anyone know a shortcut

Trade the old jalopy in on a new one. lol

Trade the old jalopy in on a new one. lol
You NEVER trade in a classic!! :flipoff2:

Tip for those that are already adorned with copious amounts of carbon:

New ball bearings....the kind from oysters. Especially nice when you get to repack them when all she has is the new bearings and maybe an undercoating or two.

Tip for those that are already adorned with copious amounts of carbon:

New ball bearings....the kind from oysters. Especially nice when you get to repack them when all she has is the new bearings and maybe an undercoating or two.

I gave Nikkita a ball bearing necklace just this morning. :grinpimp:

I gave Nikkita a ball bearing necklace just this morning. :grinpimp:


Did you give her ball bearings, or just lubricate her headlights with copious amounts of white lithium grease?

pr0n and lots of it

Did you give her ball bearings, or just lubricate her headlights with copious amounts of white lithium grease?

Both actually. Gotta keep that thing running gooooooooooood! lol

If you need the wife to be a nympho, just wait until she has reached 30-odd years of vintage.

I know what worked for me was test driving several different newer models. She hasn't left me stranded since. :D

I said BLOCK...

Not that it had toured the country and alll 50 states. ;)
No, that's my ride :p

You NEVER trade in a classic!! :flipoff2:


unless it has some dings and leaks and lots of screws loose! :flipoff2:

Classic!

unless it has some dings and leaks and lots of screws loose! :flipoff2:
Tru! :laughing: But, then again, that would make it an old beater, NOT a classic :flipoff2:

I normal just take my ride out give her a good wash and wax then take her out and show her off at the friday or saturday night club show, then mix her gasoline with a little alcohol just to give her that extra punch. I take her home after a hard night of racing, park her in the garage and work on her to Keep Every Thing Well Lubed and Polished. I haven't yet lost a race since I take such good care of her.

No, that's my ride :p


Son.... Your ride has been driven on three different continents. ;) :laughing:

:edit: and I am interested in hearing about the remote control features that you installed.....

You mean you married a chick that wasn't already ??????

Son.... Your ride has been driven on three different continents. ;) :laughing:



**SNRX**

well the best way is to atleats go test drive a few newer models. then you will know what exactly you need to fix on your beater. Just make sure you flush all the fuids before upgrade. Oh and make sure you check the temp of the test drive by inserting the thermo into the tailpipe. you always get a good feeling from that. :grinpimp:

Check the rear main seal? Setting just the right amount of pinion preload is a skill...

:grinpimp: :smokin:

damn skippy! :grinpimp:

If you need the wife to be a nympho, just wait until she has reached 30-odd years of vintage.

That happened 4 months ago. I'm still waiting.

well the best way is to atleats go test drive a few newer models. then you will know what exactly you need to fix on your beater. Just make sure you flush all the fuids before upgrade. Oh and make sure you check the temp of the test drive by inserting the thermo into the tailpipe. you always get a good feeling from that. :grinpimp:



hmmmm

test driving newer models can seriously retard the performance of your classic

test driving newer models can seriously retard the performance of your classic
And as a result, said classic could seriously injur your dipstick. ;)

Perhaps your ride is in fine working order & you just need to go back to driver's ed? :flipoff2:



TEX

And as a result, said classic could seriously injur your dipstick. ;)
or guarantee that your performance goes from 60 to 1 in .07

and there could be other ramifications with your classic

for example, performance with you in the driver's seat could become undependable or unsatisfying yet other driver's might find that your classic handles like a real beauty.....

All this talk of other people's rides, and I'm stuck taking the bus :(

All this talk of other people's rides, and I'm stuck taking the bus :(


Isn't that still better than having to hitch hike?

Perhaps your ride is in fine working order & you just need to go back to driver's ed? :flipoff2:



TEX



:flipoff2:

And as a result, said classic could seriously injur your dipstick. ;)

some classics are dead in the garage from the get go, however. ;)

Isn't that still better than having to hitch hike?



That was my way of saying that I don't have a set of "wheels" after it was repossesed.




Of course that car got rode hard and hung up wet, and had lots of problems so I really feel bad for the new owner :D

Oh hell.. you guys are not representin' the fine art of upgrading.

First.. you need to not look at the vehicle... you need to look at the owner.
You need to first get an overhaul for yourself. No self respecting Metrosexual garage owner is going to go out for a rid in his car looking like crap.. If you got a nice looking car, you need to be nice looking yourself. Shave your face. Comb your hair. Get a haircut. Groom yourself. and I mean this seriously... to the point of being Metroxesual.

I mean.. if you want to drive a chevy widebody.. no one cares how you look. But if you are wanting to show off your Cougar or your Jaguar... you better damn well look the part. Get some new clothes, some shiny polished shoes. Get dapper, man!

Get yourself in the gym. I mean, if you are going to be manhandling the equipment, you nbeed to be in shape. It's a lot easier to get your rods in the slots if you have the biceps, chest and lats to move it efficiently.

Now.. about your car. Cars are not objects. They are items to be adored and luxuried. If you want your Jaguar to be good to you, you need to be good to it. Take it down to a detail salon and have them detail your car. Ig your car likes it, get it waxed... Some cars like to be waxed in vertain areas, like right above the grill... others like to be waxed all over , even in the crevices of the trunk. (I hear that is quite popular with the newer cars, especially) If your car needs a new paint job, take it out to a shop and let it pick out as many paint jobs as it wants. Especially if it wants a whole bunch of undercoatings..

Now.. every car comes with two headlights. Typically these headlights last the lifetime of the vehicle. However, in recent years, it has become popular to upgrade the car's headlights from the older dimmer halogens to the new brighter and perkier blue-light highbeams. buying a new set of headlights for your car should be done with caution and after very careful consideration. I think if you listen to your car, it will tell you wheterh or not it wants new headlights.

Similarly, a lot of vehicles, especially pickup trucks are having their rear bumpers replaced with the valances off of sports cars. Most common that I see, is when a Chevy widebody pickup gets its bumper upgraded to an aftermarket Chevy Corvette rear end. It gives the car a racier, sleeker and sexier appearance.

Now.. one of the most important accessories that you can buy for your car to tranform it from a Chevy Caprice into a Jaguar is all of the Bling Bling accessories. Face it... no Caprice has Gold details, Platinum wheels, and silver dash accessories - these are things you find on the high dollar cars like the Jaguar.. You will notice a jaguar typically is resp[lendent with Gold trim, Silver highlights and even Platinum accessory pieces. Of all of the Bling Blings that you can add on, there is one piece that is the MOST important. This is the Carbon Fiber Drivers Side (Left) marker beacon. Each car that is owned must have a minimum of one Carbon beacon. and this carbon beacon must be real. Dont fall for or settle for a cheap glass imitation - they just down work as well. Get your car the biggest and best carbon beacon you can find. You may even accessorize the primary beacon with a number of smaller ancillaray carbon beacons. you can have several on the drives side, and some even put a few beacons on the passenger side of their jaguars. Also.. and this is very important.. you need to remember to buy a pair of Mirror beacons as well.. (Carbon of course).

Now that you have your Jaguar dressed up and waxed, and have a new color scheme on it, what are you going to do with it? No car wants to sit in the garage and collect dust. and it sure doesnt want to just haul the kids around. The best thing you can do, is pick a special night to take your jaguar out for a drive. You need to take care of some things first. YOu may need to go get a rental car for the night to use to shuttle the kids around in. Choose something really cheap and really new. Something like a Toyota Colroola or a Ford Festiva. Maybe even a Geo Metro. Just make sure it is something that your Jaguar will not get jealous of. For example, one member here on PBB even went so far as to purchase another car just for the kids. It was a German minivan, IIRC. It is nice to look at, but it still pales in comparison to his Jaguar, and the Jaguar knows that. It does not feel threatened to let the kids ride in the minivan.
So.., where to take your jaguar... tak your jaguar out to a gathering place, or if your city has one, a jaguar owners club. Line your jag up against all of the other pretty jags, and then... continually remark that sure the others are pretty, but a lot of them have had 10-15 previous owners, theyve been driven hard, and abused. Most of them are not really even that pretty once you start looking at their interiors or under the hood. Let your jaguar know it is the pretties, fastest, perkiest car on the face of the plane Now that you have taken your car to the club, you might consider taking it to a good Gas station and fill it up.. you need to make sure it is tanked up if you are planning on racing it later in the evening.., Take your credit card.. most jaguars, when taken out on the town will require large amounts of fuel. Speaking of fuel, go for the highest octane fuel you can find. You may want to even mix a little alcohol in to really get your jaguar tanked up.

after you get it tanked up, drive it around town. Look good with your jaguar. Let everyone know YOU have the best jaguar in town.

Then take your jaguar home. Park it in the garage and put it to bed so to speak. Wipe it down gently. You may even want to give it a good rubdown before you get out the lubricant and change the oil. remember... the lubricant and your fluids go under the front hood only. There are a few cars... very few... whose engines and ignition systems are in the trunk. But primary concern should be paid attention to the front end.

If you do all of these things, your Caprice will turn into a Jaguar and it will be a hot ride for years to come. :D

There for a second I was madly in love and wanted to get married....but I got my sanity back. Whew...that was close. Stop talkin' so sexy. ;)

some classics are dead in the garage from the get go, however. ;)
those would be your lemons - and the owner always hopes that his state has an adequate lemon law on the books :D

now, according to JParuBob (stolen from another thread): "essentially there are vanes in the manifold that will open or close. Depends on RPM, speed, etc. Helps with either highend HP or lowend torque" So part of the problem in the performance of your classic models may be in their vanes...the trick is to be able to find the proper adjustment for said vanes. :laughing:

some classics are dead in the garage from the get go, however. ;)


That is exactly what I am afraid of :(

I tried everything...I rotated the tires, cleaned the carb, buffed the hood and even cleaned the headlights and she just doesnt perform like I want her too

"Cleaned the headlights"...obviously you're rubbing the wrong button. :eek:

damn skippy! :grinpimp:

Ah! A classic phrase! One I haven't thought about it years!

MC- are you leasing or have you bought it yet? Lease units perform well at first, but after a couple of years, you're looking forward to the next one.

A couple of leases ago I figured out the key. She gets her cookies first, then you skip yours, call it a night (she feels she owes you) repeat ONCE, next she gets hers first, then you get yours. Next time you skip yours again. Repeat as necessary, guilt and her sudden surplus of orgasms will keep you in the busy for years. It worked on my puchased unit, and I am sooooooo happy.

MC- are you leasing or have you bought it yet? Lease units perform well at first, but after a couple of years, you're looking forward to the next one.

A couple of leases ago I figured out the key. She gets her cookies first, then you skip yours, call it a night (she feels she owes you) repeat ONCE, next she gets hers first, then you get yours. Next time you skip yours again. Repeat as necessary, guilt and her sudden surplus of orgasms will keep you in the busy for years. It worked on my puchased unit, and I am sooooooo happy.
Um...we're talking about cars here, I dunno why in the heck you brought up orgasms. That's pretty wierd.


:flipoff2:

MC- are you leasing or have you bought it yet? Lease units perform well at first, but after a couple of years, you're looking forward to the next one.

A couple of leases ago I figured out the key. She gets her cookies first, then you skip yours, call it a night (she feels she owes you) repeat ONCE, next she gets hers first, then you get yours. Next time you skip yours again. Repeat as necessary, guilt and her sudden surplus of orgasms will keep you in the busy for years. It worked on my puchased unit, and I am sooooooo happy.

Man I am at a loss...who said anything about her :laughing: :laughing: (I feel cold hands around my neck) No right now I am leasing with the option to buy....

tried octane boosters of different kinds? and are you sure she's the one that needs to go into the shop?

tried octane boosters of different kinds? and are you sure she's the one that needs to go into the shop?


Tried many a octane boost and yes she is the one who needs to go into the shop.....Hotwheels piss me off

http://search.yahoo.com/search?ei=utf-8&fr=slv1-adbe&p=kama+sutra

she doesnt even turn over on that crap.....we have some starting fluid and jumper cables ...ect and she just doesnt respond :( I have like 3 manuals...shoot I used to be really good at hotrods now the family sedan is pissing me off

maybe you need to put new wheel bearings in her, but be carefull about the wheel bearing races, if you just jam em in there at any angle, they wont work, you gotta tap em in until you find the bottom.

she doesnt even turn over on that crap.....we have some starting fluid and jumper cables ...ect and she just doesnt respond :( I have like 3 manuals...shoot I used to be really good at hotrods now the family sedan is pissing me off
ahh...sounds like the family sedan has a "sticky" starter.
There are a couple of things you can do in this case. First you need to troubleshoot the electrical system itself - you need to make certain that the current is moving along all of the correct circuits. If it is not - the fault may lie in the computer module for said model.

This manual (http://www.tantra.com/) may have some ideas about how to free up a "sticky starter," as long as it is not the main logic circuit in the computer module that has gone faulty.

Have you tested the circuitry fully?

ahh...sounds like the family sedan has a "sticky" starter.
There are a couple of things you can do in this case. First you need to troubleshoot the electrical system itself - you need to make certain that the current is moving along all of the correct circuits. If it is not - the fault may lie in the computer module for said model.

This manual (http://www.tantra.com/) may have some ideas about how to free up a "sticky starter," as long as it is not the main logic circuit in the computer module that has gone faulty.

Have you tested the circuitry fully?

No......I havent :eek:

could it be MC...

that you lost...

the car keys???

ginsing (sp)

tried the feather trick yet :laughing: :laughing: :laughing:

Have you tried a block heater?

There are several different forms of block heaters and I would suggest using different ones each time so you do not get burn marks. A block heater will keep the vehicle's motor warm (not operating temperature, but warm) which can help with starts.

ahh...sounds like the family sedan has a "sticky" starter.
There are a couple of things you can do in this case. First you need to troubleshoot the electrical system itself - you need to make certain that the current is moving along all of the correct circuits. If it is not - the fault may lie in the computer module for said model.

This manual (http://www.tantra.com/) may have some ideas about how to free up a "sticky starter," as long as it is not the main logic circuit in the computer module that has gone faulty.

Have you tested the circuitry fully?





Since computers can be difficult to repair and almost impossible to replace, I would take your model to a technician where they can perform some diagnostic tests. You will want to make sure all systems are functioning as they should at the proper pressures and levels.
Perhaps you can get recomendations to good licenced technicians in your area.

could it be MC...

that you lost...

the car keys???


SHIT NOOO

well, MC, has anything worked yet?

well, MC, has anything worked yet?


I don't know about him... but this refresher course was worth the read!

Turbo Boost For Dummys (http://www.tantra.com/20_049.html)

It's always good to review the manual every now and again!


:grinpimp:

Maybe you should through a cover over your car... strap it down to the floor... cover the muffle so it doesnt make much noise and then really go to town on it. I suggest using some PB blaster to really loosen up the bolts and get them good and ready to be unthreaded. Then once they cant take anymore lubricant and is left their dripping wet... open up the tranny and adjust the bands with a big wrench!

She'll be shifting tight and plowing thorugh the corners in no time!

Maybe you should through a cover over your car... strap it down to the floor... cover the muffle so it doesnt make much noise and then really go to town on it. I suggest using some PB blaster to really loosen up the bolts and get them good and ready to be unthreaded. Then once they cant take anymore lubricant and is left their dripping wet... open up the tranny and adjust the bands with a big wrench!

She'll be shifting tight and plowing thorugh the corners in no time!


Wait... DT.... your are suggesting that he apply his shift stick to a TRANNY?? :eek:

I DON'T think that is what he was looking for here...

DT is just talking about HIS experiences and what worked for HIM.

MC won't be opening up any tranny. I'd bet a dollar his classic has a slush box that might just need a flush-n-fill.

I gave Nikkita a ball bearing necklace just this morning. :grinpimp:

pearl necklace, you could have given her the jelly donut.


















bust one on the girls face, and punch her in the nose and you have jelly donut. :laughing:

Since computers can be difficult to repair and almost impossible to replace, I would take your model to a technician where they can perform some diagnostic tests. You will want to make sure all systems are functioning as they should at the proper pressures and levels.
Perhaps you can get recomendations to good licenced technicians in your area.

This one, gets it. ;)

After all the replies, I'm still chuckling at Chister's long-ass reply. :laughing:

What I've noticed, is that looks can be deceiving. Just because it LOOKS like it's a sedan model, doesn't mean the undercarrage isn't Super Sport class, and can't stand up to the driving technique and performance you're desiring.

There could be some mis-communication with what the driver sees, and what the gauges are really reading.

I suggest just driving the way you wanna drive, and cornering as hard and fast as you want to. The car may supprise you, and perfrom better than anticipated, once you have clearly shown the kind of performance you're expecting.

Hence, it could merely be operator error up to this point.

Also, leaving miscellaneous manuals and performance magizines in the garage, indicating the type of ride desired, may clear the air in the garage and pre-heat the engine.

Back from the dead?

Back from the dead?

Why?

Back from the dead?

Thanks to you

Thanks to you

Lol, Ill thank Him. I missed this hte first time around. This is far better than anything Ive seen around here lately.

So how is th classic revving now MC? Did you have the PCM tested or just scrap the whole deal in the end?

Back from the dead?


Just short of four years....

At any rate... perhaps the OP is not using proper rated fuel... You can get just about any sort of performance desired with this...

http://www.hispanicmpr.com/images/hmprphotos2007/hmprCuervo750bottle.jpg

Just short of four years....

At any rate... perhaps the OP is not using proper rated fuel... You can get just about any sort of performance desired with this...

http://www.hispanicmpr.com/images/hmprphotos2007/hmprCuervo750bottle.jpg

I beg to differ, I believe with as far north as the OP is, that alternative fuels would better serve his purposes.

I would like to recommend 2 such products, wholeheartedly:

http://di1.shopping.com/images/pi/e7/44/a9/43130410-177x150-0-0.jpg

and

http://media.dailyuw.com//images/thumbnails/081203-jrm-ArrowSchnapps-WEB_230w.jpg

Enjoy in moderation.

Just short of four years....

At any rate... perhaps the OP is not using proper rated fuel... You can get just about any sort of performance desired with this...

http://www.hispanicmpr.com/images/hmprphotos2007/hmprCuervo750bottle.jpg

Dead for four years, brought back to life by an idiot, and then you repost something from the first page. Post #13.

Jesus....

sometimes the only way to tune up an older model engine is to change the fuel you run in it.

i suggest Tequila. :D

Just short of four years....

At any rate... perhaps the OP is not using proper rated fuel... You can get just about any sort of performance desired with this...

http://www.hispanicmpr.com/images/hmprphotos2007/hmprCuervo750bottle.jpg

Dead for four years, brought back to life by an idiot, and then you repost something from the first page. Post #13.

Jesus....

Well... I didn't go back & read every post on 4 YO thread like SOMEbody apparently did...

What can I say... GMTA:flipoff2:

Well... I didn't go back & read every post on 4 YO thread like SOMEbody apparently did...

What can I say... GMTA:flipoff2:

Title had "nympho" in it. Thought there might be pics or something.
:flipoff2:

I wonder if that worked for chister...

Holy sheite...this was a funnay read. Chister was on a roll for sure and most of you kept up pretty well! This really is classics material.

But if that's going to be done, MC needs to give us the followup on how that ride is performing NOW...or due to his age, has he forgotten how to drive it???

How do you De-tune one?

How do you De-tune one?

Catch a case of the gay:flipoff2:

Holy sheite...this was a funnay read. Chister was on a roll for sure and most of you kept up pretty well! This really is classics material.

But if that's going to be done, MC needs to give us the followup on how that ride is performing NOW...or due to his age, has he forgotten how to drive it???

Truth.

Ship her to Germany to run all out on the Autobahn. She will eather keep up or get the fuck out of the way for the newer faster model.

Thats a Win-Win, the way I see it.:smokin:

I fill your pain. Have the same one in my garage.

I fill your pain. Have the same one in my garage.
damn. No wonder neither of you are happy. You're sharing the same car. Buy your own car man!!!

:flipoff2:

How do you De-tune one?

Send her to me, It seems I can make one want to never drive again.
:(

Dead for four years, brought back to life by an idiot, and then you repost something from the first page. Post #13.

Jesus....



Your the fucking idiot. This is a great read and should be enjoyed by some of the newer members.

Your the fucking idiot. This is a great read and should be enjoyed by some of the newer members.

Wow. Bypass snarky. Slide past witty. Flip off sarcasm as you roll by. Skip noticing the spelling thingie. Smash through the guardrails of humor, and burst into a fireball of dickhead at the bottom of the mountain.

:flipoff2:

Wow. Bypass snarky. Slide past witty. Flip off sarcasm as you roll by. Skip noticing the spelling thingie. Smash through the guardrails of humor, and burst into a fireball of dickhead at the bottom of the mountain.

:flipoff2:

Thanks for at least keeping this auto related! :laughing:

Your the fucking idiot. This is a great read and should be enjoyed by some of the newer members.

Where did I say the thread wasn't worth bringing back?

UPDATE



We signed the papers last year November 8th and since then she has given me trouble free driving with no maintenance. I frequently have her oil changed once a month and and have been running pump gas since then. No wobbles going down the road and she drives real strait! I couldnt be happier. She rebuilt her engine and added a blower and a stroker crank. No exhaust leaks and no rust yet!

Sometimes you gotta take the chance to find a diamond in the rough.

Sometimes you gotta take the chance to find a diamond in the rough.

It was a chance I was willing to take she had a great drivetrain and sound internals. Her paint job was mint and the headliner was still good. All she really needed was time to work out the bugs.

This thread has brought me almost to tears laughing today its fantastico. I couldnt imagine driving anything else but I have seen a few corvettes and lamborghinis around that shake their exhaust at me and squeeling the tires to catch my attention. I just laugh and think about all the bad exhaust jobs and leakiy manifolds I have seen and how buddies would complain about having a new paint job but no real drivetrain. I dont think I will be test driving anything other than what I have now because I have the power at the pedal and she is responding very well without any spark knock, detonation or pinging. I dont think I even need to run synthetic in her :D

She rebuilt her engine and added a blower and a stroker crank.

Damn!! :eek:

These are very rare mods in a daily driver, but I'm sure you fully appreciate them!!!

Damn!! :eek:

These are very rare mods in a daily driver, but I'm sure you fully appreciate them!!!

Just requires the correct support equipment.

Forced induction is actually easier to live with than high compression.

You gotta have a forged rod!

You gotta have a forged rod!

Yeah, but knowing you, it'd wind up attached to a rusty crank and you'd throw something trying to turn it over.

Coming from a rusty old cranky fellah I will take that as a compliment

:lmao:

Classics for sure. :smokin:

[golf clap] Bravo... Bravo... [/golf clap]

/thread