Fartin @ work - Pirate4x4.Com : 4x4 and Off-Road Forum

BIG MOE · 02-19-2004, 02:23 PM

This is something I'd really like to touch on today.

I was programming a controller at my job and one of my co-workers was checking wiring terminations. He was about 20 feet away and the room was being built out so it had fresh sheet rock and concrete floor. A perfect echo barrier.

I am on the laptop tweaking the points and I hear 2 good rips. I mean good long sweat between the cheeks ones. I choose to ingnore and not say nothin. A third one was dished out and it was louder but sounded drier and kinda muffled. subconciously, I started to contract my belly and seek a nice fat one to balance everything to an equilibrium. Then I caught a wiff of his burger king laden gas. That crap smelt like chicken whoppers. He came over and started talking about one controller that didnt have any power.

Mutherfawker's fart was taggin along behind him like he had it on a damn leash.

Things went thru my mind.... do I say somethin?
Do I shut the F up?

I decided to walk away and look at the controller with the power issue. Later on in the make shift office we have in the building, I walked over to his desk and look at the as-built drawings. I let out this high heat blob of plasma and walked away. That shit was so hot and steamy that you could use it to make a plasma TV.

He starts to cough and yells my name. Then everyone yells my name.

OK, do yall fart around each other @ work?

Mo · 02-19-2004, 02:27 PM

you did the right thing.

You did the only thing that could be expected of you in that situation. Many others would have just turned and looked away. You stared death in the face and gave comfort to someone when they needed it most.

I applaud you for your intestinal fortitude. Good job.

Dieselmh · 02-19-2004, 02:36 PM

Funny you should bring this up. I just took the smelliest, nastiest dump I've ever taken at work. I made sure to prop the bathroom door open when I left, to ensure that I shared the joy! So far I have cleared out the breakroom, and the IT room, we'll see who else suffers the wrath.

jays68yak · 02-19-2004, 02:43 PM

bahahahaha now thats funnay.

what I like is when you let one go in your office/cube and shit you not, someone walks in just as you finish letting it go.

Dieselmh · 02-19-2004, 02:44 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by jays68yak
bahahahaha now thats funnay.

what I like is when you let one go in your office/cube and shit you not, someone walks in just as you finish letting it go.

That seldom happens with me, I do "crop dusting." That's when you fart, then walk around the office leaving an invisible vapor trail of death for anyone in the area!

Schly · 02-19-2004, 02:50 PM

*music*

"Here's to you Mr. Office Fart Jouster. Never to let a good one lie, always first to fight back with a gag bomb of epic proportions...

So here's to you Mr. Office Fart Jouster..."

*music*

Real Men of Genius......

The Joker · 02-19-2004, 02:58 PM

I try not to start the battle if at all possible. But (pun intended) I will return fire when fired upon

HighHooder · 02-19-2004, 02:59 PM

I fart at work ALL the time

I will also blame the customers for the "nausious, sour ass smell" that's lingering in the vacinity

Chaz M · 02-19-2004, 03:16 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by jays68yak
bahahahaha now thats funnay.

what I like is when you let one go in your office/cube and shit you not, someone walks in just as you finish letting it go.

never fails...everytime i cut down on one in my cube someone walks in

4RunnerGuy · 02-19-2004, 03:30 PM

Does anyone else always feel compelled to click on Big Moe's threads? You sure do have a way with words my friend.

Hef · 02-19-2004, 03:43 PM

We ask for everyone to hush up, so that they may hear the fart without any outside distraction. Then we rate the performance.

Seeing as how we shit in portajohns all the time, you can hear the poop drop in the water. We also rate the poop splashes. I got some disgusted cheers today for my "chunks&spray" poop. It sounded like somebody tossing a handful of chicken nuggets into the water while taking a piss.

Haole · 02-19-2004, 03:46 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Hef
We ask for everyone to hush up, so that they may hear the fart without any outside distraction. Then we rate the performance.

Seeing as how we shit in portajohns all the time, you can hear the poop drop in the water. We also rate the poop splashes. I got some disgusted cheers today for my "chunks&spray" poop. It sounded like somebody tossing a handful of chicken nuggets into the water while taking a piss.

Back when I was in school, we've rated them on stink, duration, length of stink and tonal quality. It was a highly complicated system involving 4th grade math.

paniolo · 02-19-2004, 03:46 PM

I just let a good stinky one go today and my boss walked in to get some reports. Too bad for her that she walked over and opened the binder b4 it hit her

I could see the pain in her eyes and it was all I could do to keep the laughter bottled up inside

The Joker · 02-19-2004, 03:47 PM

Ok that is just

How about when you damn near gas yourself out by wearing a rain suit or carhartts? You let one go......................think to yourself "no big deal" didnt smell a thing.................you bend down to do something and force all that noxious gas right out the top

Hef · 02-19-2004, 03:50 PM

ever give your woman a "dutch oven"?

The Joker · 02-19-2004, 03:58 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Hef
ever give your woman a "dutch oven"?

Never I like my wife to not be afraid to go under the covers

incogrhino · 02-19-2004, 04:01 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Hef
ever give your woman a "dutch oven"?

-------------------------------------------------
Now that's love.

BrianDamage · 02-19-2004, 04:07 PM

hell yeah, I'm a construction worker...we fart at work all the time... about the only "off-limits" is while we are eating.

the appropriate responses to your co-worker would have been

"goddamn! you shit your pants, didn't 'ya?"

"what crawled up your ass and died?"

"stinky bastard"

"get any on 'ya?"

"think you need to wipe after that one"

ForestCam · 02-19-2004, 04:13 PM

Only thing I would have done differently is I would have pointed to the as-builts and said "someone forgot the exhaust fan" then rip one and walk away.

Hef · 02-19-2004, 04:13 PM

I almost forgot!!

My buddy Aaron brings his pit bull Koa to work every day. It's particularly funny to fart on his head.

ForestCam · 02-19-2004, 04:14 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Hef
I almost forgot!!

My buddy Aaron brings his pit bull Koa to work every day. It's particularly funny to fart on his head.

Aaron's or Koa's?

Hef · 02-19-2004, 04:19 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ForestCam

Aaron's or Koa's?

Sorry.....Koa.

ForestCam · 02-19-2004, 04:20 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Hef

Sorry.....Koa.

What, you got something against Aaron? Why don't you fart on his head too?

Hef · 02-19-2004, 04:25 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ForestCam

What, you got something against Aaron? Why don't you fart on his head too?

If I'm standing on a ladder above him I do. Another fine trick of mine is this:

We are installing bath hardware in a new house. I mark out the locations and he follows me with the drill. I make sure to get into a bathroom with him being further from the door. I let one loose then haul ass, holding the door shut behind me.

Gets that fawker every time.

He's always doing that shit to me so Fart Wars are ON.

ForestCam · 02-19-2004, 04:28 PM

Best one is when they're under the kitchen sink, walk up and rip a big one right in the cupboard.

02-19-2004, 02:23 PM	#1 (permalink)
BIG MOE Registered User Join Date: Jan 2004 Member # 25730 Location: atlanta ga Posts: 8	Fartin @ work This is something I'd really like to touch on today. I was programming a controller at my job and one of my co-workers was checking wiring terminations. He was about 20 feet away and the room was being built out so it had fresh sheet rock and concrete floor. A perfect echo barrier. I am on the laptop tweaking the points and I hear 2 good rips. I mean good long sweat between the cheeks ones. I choose to ingnore and not say nothin. A third one was dished out and it was louder but sounded drier and kinda muffled. subconciously, I started to contract my belly and seek a nice fat one to balance everything to an equilibrium. Then I caught a wiff of his burger king laden gas. That crap smelt like chicken whoppers. He came over and started talking about one controller that didnt have any power. Mutherfawker's fart was taggin along behind him like he had it on a damn leash. Things went thru my mind.... do I say somethin? Do I shut the F up? I decided to walk away and look at the controller with the power issue. Later on in the make shift office we have in the building, I walked over to his desk and look at the as-built drawings. I let out this high heat blob of plasma and walked away. That shit was so hot and steamy that you could use it to make a plasma TV. He starts to cough and yells my name. Then everyone yells my name. OK, do yall fart around each other @ work? __________________ Moe Howard: redneck negro

02-19-2004, 02:43 PM	#4 (permalink)
jays68yak Rock God Join Date: Apr 2003 Member # 19015 Location: Gilroy, CA Posts: 2,412	bahahahaha now thats funnay. what I like is when you let one go in your office/cube and shit you not, someone walks in just as you finish letting it go. __________________ 1970 Chevy Truck cab on a 1979 Jimmy frame-8.1 liter 496 bbc/sm465/np203-jeds doubler-np205/d60/14bff Welded/42 tsls on recentered H1s 1998 Chevy Crew Cab K3500 SAS'd with hpd60, links and fox coilovers, 8.1 liter 496 bbc/4l80e/BWtcase. DD/towrig

02-19-2004, 02:50 PM	#6 (permalink)
Schly Registered User Join Date: Jan 2001 Member # 2741 Location: Santa Rosa, CA Posts: 2,098	music "Here's to you Mr. Office Fart Jouster. Never to let a good one lie, always first to fight back with a gag bomb of epic proportions... So here's to you Mr. Office Fart Jouster..." music Real Men of Genius...... __________________ [SIZE="2"][FONT="Arial Black"][COLOR="Wheat"]"The Constitution is not an instrument for the government to restrain the people, it is an instrument for the people to restrain the government." Patrick Henry "Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying 'I will try again tomorrow.'" Radmacher[/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE]

02-19-2004, 02:59 PM	#8 (permalink)
HighHooder Not sure if serious Join Date: Oct 2000 Member # 1899 Location: Tacoma, Wa Where you can drink the water, but don't breath the air Posts: 12,405	I fart at work ALL the time I will also blame the customers for the "nausious, sour ass smell" that's lingering in the vacinity __________________ I was the five hundred and fourty-second signer of the JV petition, what number were you?

02-19-2004, 03:30 PM	#10 (permalink)
4RunnerGuy Registered User Join Date: Jan 2002 Member # 9264 Location: Galveston, TX Posts: 210	Does anyone else always feel compelled to click on Big Moe's threads? You sure do have a way with words my friend. __________________ Jeremy Learn to spell: 1. Definitely 2. Loose is not the same as lose. 3. Alot is NOT a word. A lot is not the same as allot.

02-19-2004, 02:27 PM	#2 (permalink)
Mo Everyday is Tuesday. Join Date: Feb 2000 Member # 47 Location: Lizzy, CO Posts: 15,650	you did the right thing. You did the only thing that could be expected of you in that situation. Many others would have just turned and looked away. You stared death in the face and gave comfort to someone when they needed it most. I applaud you for your intestinal fortitude. Good job.

02-19-2004, 02:36 PM	#3 (permalink)
Dieselmh fatdan460lovespenis Join Date: Aug 2001 Member # 6417 Posts: 3,921	Funny you should bring this up. I just took the smelliest, nastiest dump I've ever taken at work. I made sure to prop the bathroom door open when I left, to ensure that I shared the joy! So far I have cleared out the breakroom, and the IT room, we'll see who else suffers the wrath.

02-19-2004, 02:58 PM	#7 (permalink)
The Joker Registered User Join Date: May 2000 Member # 943 Location: Slightly North of Crazy Posts: 1,819	I try not to start the battle if at all possible. But (pun intended) I will return fire when fired upon

02-19-2004, 03:43 PM	#11 (permalink)
Hef Registered User Join Date: May 2002 Member # 11907 Location: Hilton Head, SC Posts: 2,037 Blog Entries: 1	We ask for everyone to hush up, so that they may hear the fart without any outside distraction. Then we rate the performance. Seeing as how we shit in portajohns all the time, you can hear the poop drop in the water. We also rate the poop splashes. I got some disgusted cheers today for my "chunks&spray" poop. It sounded like somebody tossing a handful of chicken nuggets into the water while taking a piss.

02-19-2004, 03:46 PM	#13 (permalink)
paniolo Registered User Join Date: Oct 2000 Member # 1959 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 1,234	I just let a good stinky one go today and my boss walked in to get some reports. Too bad for her that she walked over and opened the binder b4 it hit her I could see the pain in her eyes and it was all I could do to keep the laughter bottled up inside __________________ David M. 85 4Runner on jackstands :(

02-19-2004, 03:47 PM	#14 (permalink)
The Joker Registered User Join Date: May 2000 Member # 943 Location: Slightly North of Crazy Posts: 1,819	Ok that is just How about when you damn near gas yourself out by wearing a rain suit or carhartts? You let one go......................think to yourself "no big deal" didnt smell a thing.................you bend down to do something and force all that noxious gas right out the top

02-19-2004, 03:50 PM	#15 (permalink)
Hef Registered User Join Date: May 2002 Member # 11907 Location: Hilton Head, SC Posts: 2,037 Blog Entries: 1	ever give your woman a "dutch oven"?

02-19-2004, 04:07 PM	#18 (permalink)
BrianDamage Registered User Join Date: Oct 2002 Member # 14277 Location: Hartselle, AL Posts: 44	hell yeah, I'm a construction worker...we fart at work all the time... about the only "off-limits" is while we are eating. the appropriate responses to your co-worker would have been "goddamn! you shit your pants, didn't 'ya?" "what crawled up your ass and died?" "stinky bastard" "get any on 'ya?" "think you need to wipe after that one"

02-19-2004, 04:13 PM	#19 (permalink)
ForestCam Registered User Join Date: Feb 2002 Member # 9821 Location: East Lansing Michigan Posts: 2,810	Only thing I would have done differently is I would have pointed to the as-builts and said "someone forgot the exhaust fan" then rip one and walk away. __________________ I'm pimping ScottFJ40's [URL=http://search.ebay.com/_W0QQfgtpZ1QQfrppZ25QQsassZthemanwithgreatseats]ebay shit[/URL] so he owes me a dollar. [color=orange] Two wrongs don't make a right but three rights make a left.[/color] [color=yellow]I before E except after C except in words like neighbor and Budweiser.[/color] [color=lime]May clinging breasts always come to your aid in the kitchen. [/color]

02-19-2004, 04:13 PM	#20 (permalink)
Hef Registered User Join Date: May 2002 Member # 11907 Location: Hilton Head, SC Posts: 2,037 Blog Entries: 1	I almost forgot!! My buddy Aaron brings his pit bull Koa to work every day. It's particularly funny to fart on his head.

02-19-2004, 04:28 PM	#25 (permalink)
ForestCam Registered User Join Date: Feb 2002 Member # 9821 Location: East Lansing Michigan Posts: 2,810	Best one is when they're under the kitchen sink, walk up and rip a big one right in the cupboard. __________________ I'm pimping ScottFJ40's [URL=http://search.ebay.com/_W0QQfgtpZ1QQfrppZ25QQsassZthemanwithgreatseats]ebay shit[/URL] so he owes me a dollar. [color=orange] Two wrongs don't make a right but three rights make a left.[/color] [color=yellow]I before E except after C except in words like neighbor and Budweiser.[/color] [color=lime]May clinging breasts always come to your aid in the kitchen. [/color]

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode