Heefus' tribute to Charlie Daniels and Bowel Movements... - Pirate4x4.Com : 4x4 and Off-Road Forum
 
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Old 06-25-2010, 09:07 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Join Date: May 2005
Member # 46933
Location: Falconpunch, VA
Posts: 2,488
Heef went down to the concert, he was looking for a place to spill.
He was in a bind holdin' his behind: he was startin to make a squeal.
When he came across this young man standin' in line at the porta pot.
And the man jumped upon a hickory stump and said: "Heef let me tell you what I bet you didn't know it, but I a hemmoroid sufferer too,
and if you care to pull my hair
I'll share the throne with you
Now you gotta a pretty nice pooper boy
but give the bowl its due
I bet some TP of gold against yer choad
cause I can shit bigger than you

The boy said
My name's Heefus, and it might be a sin, but I'll take that bet,
yer gonna regret cause I shit everywhere I've been

Heefus lighten up yer load and push that turd out hard 'cause hell's broke loose in Virginia and the devil hides the lard. And if you win you get this shiny TP made of gold. But if you lose,
the devil eats yer choad.

The devil dropped his drawers and said, "I'll start this show." And fire flew from his asscrack as he flattulated up his load. And he shit a stream of brown soup that looked like evil piss.
Then a band of demons joined in and it sounded somethin' like this:

frrrraaaaapppblllaatab;atab;;aaaatbrraaaap[ffffbbbttttt

When the devil finished, Heefus said, "Well, you're pretty good, old son, but wipe yer smirk ya fukkin jerk, and let me show you how it's done.

Fire in my colon. Run, boys, run. The devil's in the House of the Stinky Fun. Chicken in the bread pan pickin' out corn. Granny, does your dog bite? Blow my horn.

[gaseous solo] BRAPPLLFFLAAGGEDDOHSHITMYASSHOLEHARGLEMABLEFLOPFAP FAPBRIIIIPPPPFSSSSSSSSS [/gaseous solo]

The devil bowed his head because he knew that he'd been beat. And he laid that golden TP on the ground at Heef's feet. Heefus said, "Devil, just come on back if you ever want to try again. 'Cause I told you once, you son of a gun, I can shit again and again."
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