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Old 12-06-2011, 09:03 AM   #1 (permalink)
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How to discipline my 15 year old son???

So the story goes like this 15 year old son, pathalogical lier, manipulator, and now trading homework for magic brownies. He got arrested at school his freshman year for shaking up a pepsi can on a kid and calling the kid a "Faggot" (A hate crime these days), which I think is total BullShit, so I think I made him pull weeds as a punishment. He has lied to my wife and I pretty much on a daily basis off and on since he was in kindergarden (also when we had him tested for ADHD)

He meniplulates and lies to all of his teachers (he is a sophmore in HS now). His grades are in the toilet, 3 F's and 3 C-'s. He has a total of 25 missing homework assignments. My wife and I are constintly in contact with his teachers through email and we get a daily progress report, we are sick of holding his hand, for god sake he is in high school.

WE ARE SUPER INVOLVED PARENTS its not like we let him do a he fucking well pleases. He is very athletic he plays football and baseball but yet has a C- in PE cause he fucks around in class and pisses off his teacher. I pulled him off the football team with 2 games left because of his grades and his lieing. All of his teachers say he is the class clown, and do stupid shit in class like out of the blue just start lauphing while the teacher is talking or get up out of his seat and start talking to someone else in class also while the teacher is talking. One teacher told him he looked stressed and he should see a counselor, probably a day after I pulled him off the football team.

He has ADHD and has been off meds for a year due to the side effects and that they just plain don't work. There was time in the 8th grade were we could tell the meds were working, no lies, compliments from teachers and he even made the fucking honor role. Any Yes he was rewarded big time, that summer was the best he got to do pretty much whatever he wanted, movies, games, stay up late what ever he wanted, I spent more money on that kid that summer than my wife and always reminded him why. Then he started highschool and when right back to his evil ways.

Yes we have tried every type of med offered for this. Boy has had countless appointments with pysico therapists and counselors of every type and nothing is working. Other than the one time he did the magic brownie which made him so sick that he ended up in the ER getting jabbed by more than ten needles for blood and one IV. here is the exact lie he told us about that, " I was eating lunch in the locker room when I was approched by a 6 foot kid who I have never talked to or even seen before, he came over and sat next to me in the locker room at lunch opened up his back pack and said I have this single brownie and I dont think i want it so you can have it, my boy said sure is that carmel on top?" I can't make this shit up to save my life. I do not believe it is a drug problem, we have had him randomly tested.

I have always given him the bentifit of the doubt, but he just keeps lieing and taking advantage of us, it's like he lies so much that I think he actually is now believing his lies. My wife and I have taken everything from him by stripped his room of all his possesions including his clothes, which he just askes for in the morning and gets them, he was left with his bed, a sheet and a pillow in his room, he would have to earn his stuff back just by being HONEST, simple right? WRONG. Last night he got his bed taken from him and had to sleep on the floor. This is the Third time we have had to strip him of his belongings.

I believe MY son is very smart when he wants to be but he has NO common sense, he has no modovation what so ever only thinks about himself and does everything half ass. He has two chores at home and one is to take out the fucking garbage for the last 5 years and I still have to remind him constantly. The other is to pour the milk for dinner, just about every night it doesn't get done. I have never got very phisical with him, yes he got the ocasional spanking when he was young but that stoped when he was probably in the 4th grade. I have always given him a list of phisically intense chores instead of a smack to the head. I think its time for a change, BUT I DON't WANT TO GO TO JAIL in the process.

I don't know what to do, Both my wife and I are on our last straw, I think he needs a few lashes with the belt like I got when I was his age, but I know that is not legal. WHAT IS????? We have thretened military school but shit you have to be a million air, its like $30+ K. I have two other children and my 15 year old boy should be a rollmodel to them but he is'nt he's posion!!! God forbid my other two follow in his footsteps. We ask him why he lies and all he can say is I don't know. My wife and I are stressed the fuck out and don't know what to do. I LOVE my son but its getting to the point that I cannot stand to be around him, I see his face and just become angry. I donot have any current health issues but if this continues I can see a heart attach in my near future and im only 36. So I ask YOU PBB HELP PLEASE. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated and if anyone knows what can be done phisically without it being abuse is also appreciated.
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Last edited by dannorris; 12-06-2011 at 09:13 AM.
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Old 12-06-2011, 09:04 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Old 12-06-2011, 09:06 AM   #3 (permalink)
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The 'Enter' key is 4th row down, last on the right. I gave up 3 sentences in, fuck everything about walls of text.
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Old 12-06-2011, 09:07 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Yeah send your wife to www.learntoswallow.com for lessons.
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Old 12-06-2011, 09:08 AM   #5 (permalink)
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I guess so your wife can teach her how??
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Old 12-06-2011, 09:08 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Castrate him and maniacally scream "I'M DOING YOU A FAVOR!" while covered in his blood.
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Old 12-06-2011, 09:08 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Nope, but my girlfriend can.
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Old 12-06-2011, 09:09 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Sounds like professional counseling is called for....and if you are already getting it, maybe switch counselors/psychologists. Something isn't working here - your methods are ineffective, and maybe you can find a professional who can help figure out something that WOULD work for your son.
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Old 12-06-2011, 09:10 AM   #9 (permalink)
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The 'Enter' key is 4th row down, last on the right. I gave up 3 sentences in, fuck everything about walls of text.
no shit, I cant (wont even try) read that either
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Old 12-06-2011, 09:11 AM   #10 (permalink)
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I should have stated that my wife is not his bio mom, but has raised him as her own since he was a year and a half. I have full custody of him.
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Old 12-06-2011, 09:13 AM   #11 (permalink)
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I have always given him a list of phisically intense chores instead of a smack to the head.
Hey, look. I found your problem.
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Old 12-06-2011, 09:13 AM   #12 (permalink)
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you was the guy to took away everything from his son when he said "my life sucks" it was a long time ago on the post I am thinking about

what the father did was when him and his wife were eating a nice meal. the son got bread and butter. the father said when your life sucks this is what you eat.

I think he took away his bed, left some sheets and a pillow. his father goes when you life sucks you sleep on the floor

you get my point-take away stuff and tell him this is the life is like in jail
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Old 12-06-2011, 09:16 AM   #13 (permalink)
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He got arrested at school his freshman year for shaking up a pepsi can on a kid and calling the kid a "Faggot" (A hate crime these days), which I think is total BullShit, so I think I made him pull weeds as a punishment.

Learn to use the return key first.

Then realize it's your fault. He is your offspring, and you are his role model.
By saying something like the above, I have no doubt that you're the kind of feller who calls black people (edited), mexican people (edited), and so on.

Weather or not my parents agreed with the reason I had gotten into trouble, they always supported the authorities, school, police, whatever, in their punishment because they wanted me to fit in with society.

IF you'd raised him to fit in with society, he'd probably be fitting in really well. Instead you decided that you were going to impose your dubious system of morals and rules, and now he's decided that he gets to make his own set of rules that don't comply with you.

Last edited by Inferno; 12-06-2011 at 10:07 AM.
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Old 12-06-2011, 09:18 AM   #14 (permalink)
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If you end up homeschooling him please don't be the one to teach him spelling and grammar.
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Old 12-06-2011, 09:19 AM   #15 (permalink)
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Lets get something straight, my best friend is black and i think the reason that he got arrested is BS because when i went to school everybody call everybodys faggots. I was told by his probation officer that now that is a hate crime because the word weights more in this day and age.
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Old 12-06-2011, 09:22 AM   #16 (permalink)
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When I was 16 I was a shithead. My dad sat me down and told me I was on the wrong path and I'd end up in jail if I kept it up. I quit hanging out with the friends I had at the time and guess what, most of them are in jail. So I guess tell him about your life and your mistakes and hopefully he won't keep making them.
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Old 12-06-2011, 09:22 AM   #17 (permalink)
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Old 12-06-2011, 09:25 AM   #18 (permalink)
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Perhaps something your parents should have done before your were born....what a fawktard. My guess is you're not a parent yet, so you have no understanding of what it's like to raise a "trouble" child, despite your best efforts.

I sympathize with the OP. I have walked virtually every step in his shoes with my own son, when he was in high school. Same lies, shitty grades, shitty outlook on life, etc. My son is now 30 and still on a nowhere plan, despite all his mom and I did in raising him. Last I heard from him he was bordline homeless, barely making it by. But that's the life HE chose for himself....

It's tough enough being a parent with a good kid....a "trouble" kid is a huge emotional drain. About all I can add in terms of advice is to hang in there and do the best you can until he graduates. I was able to convince my son to join the Air Force upon HS graduation. Though he made through bootcamp, he was only 3 days away from deploying to his first assignment, when he got his ass kick out of the Air Force. I never got the full story behind that, and it's been downhill for him ever since...

Don't blame my parenting skills either.... My youngest son is a poster child for what a parent would be proud of. Successful, pulls a 6 figure salary at only 28. Married with one kid, and has his own home. Both my kids were raised the same, only their final outcome came out different...
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Old 12-06-2011, 09:26 AM   #19 (permalink)
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Sounds like professional counseling is called for....and if you are already getting it, maybe switch counselors/psychologists. Something isn't working here - your methods are ineffective, and maybe you can find a professional who can help figure out something that WOULD work for your son.
This is what you should do. Your methods do not work and if you don't figure out something quick sounds like you'll be visiting your son in county lock-up sooner than later because he's well on his way to pushing the wrong person one too many times and getting an unpleasant surprise.
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Old 12-06-2011, 09:29 AM   #20 (permalink)
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When I was 16 I was a shithead. My dad sat me down and told me I was on the wrong path and I'd end up in jail if I kept it up. I quit hanging out with the friends I had at the time and guess what, most of them are in jail. So I guess tell him about your life and your mistakes and hopefully he won't keep making them.
I wish it was that simple

My best friend just tossed his 18 year old son out of the house. His son is following the exact same path as he did (drinking, drugs, parties)... has already been arrested for dealing (he was underage and got a slap on the wrist), doesn't have a job, has been caught stealing from family and friends.

He has talked to him until he was blue in the face, and all his son ever says is "I am nothing like you"
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Old 12-06-2011, 09:31 AM   #21 (permalink)
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My brother was a shithead just like your kid. It took many years and lots of screw ups for him to realize he couldn't continue being a POS. He's now recovered, getting his degree, working full time and has a 401K going.

Do you give your kid an allowance or anything like that?

What do you pay for for him (other than food/shelter)?
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Old 12-06-2011, 09:31 AM   #22 (permalink)
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Almost same story with my oldest boy.

My wife and I bent over backward trying to get this kid to straighten up.

Nothing worked.

Lies, manipulations, thefts (petty shoplifting to cars), drugs, cutting school, property damage, the list goes on and on. He was very good about faking emotions and getting my wife to focus on fighting with me instead of focusing on his ill-doings. It was rough, I developed a deep hatred for his actions and started to resent his existence and my decision to adopt him.

Mine started doing stints in jail when he was 15. He was sentenced to 2 years when he was 17 (only had to serve 10 months) for not complying with any of the stipulations the judge set up for his prior shenannigans. None of the jail time made a difference, but it did lower the stress level in my house while he was locked up.

The best thing for my home was him moving out. He wanted to play big boy decision maker and drop out of school. All my kids know if you aren't in school, you don't get the luxury of me supporting your existence, so out he went.

He is still in and out of jail, cant hold a job, refuses jobs offered if they mention random drug testing, still sneaks by the house and steals from me, my wife, his siblings, etc.

I don't have high hopes for him, I just pray that some day he grows up and doesn't get himself killed or kill/hurt anybody else in the process.

Sociopathy is a bitch, present from birth, no known cure for it.

For all the others who tell you to stop procreating, fuck em, my other kids are fucking awesome, greater kids than I could ever have dreamed of having.
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Old 12-06-2011, 09:34 AM   #23 (permalink)
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As was suggested, I would start off by getting him some counseling. I'm not much into the whole inner child BS, but there's obviously something going on with him to where he's craving attention, good or bad. Rest assured that it's only going to get worse and he will end up doing something bad that is life-altering.

If that doesn't work, get with your local PD and see if they have a Scared Straight-type program for kids. Let him see what jail is like and let him know that that is where he's heading.

Another thing you need to do is man up. He's the kid, you're the adult. You have the power over him and you need to exercise it. I'm not saying you need to beat the shit out of him, but you control his well-being. If he doesn't obey you and he still has items above and beyond basic life support, he's winning. Feed him, clothe him and make sure he has a roof over his head. He should have no more than that until he starts showing everyone respect.
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Old 12-06-2011, 09:34 AM   #24 (permalink)
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I do not believe it is a drug problem, we have had him randomly tested.
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Old 12-06-2011, 09:34 AM   #25 (permalink)
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I wish it was that simple

My best friend just tossed his 18 year old son out of the house. His son is following the exact same path as he did (drinking, drugs, parties)... has already been arrested for dealing (he was underage and got a slap on the wrist), doesn't have a job, has been caught stealing from family and friends.

He has talked to him until he was blue in the face, and all his son ever says is "I am nothing like you"
Yeah he reasoned with me and I guess it clicked. I never got in any trouble luckily. Joined the Army straight out of HS and have been living the dream ever since.
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