My beautiful wife Jennifer and child Samantha Karina

[gavan]

I guess you never know what life is going to bring. As I sit here in our house surrounded by the life we built together I can't help but remember all the good times we had together - but since all of them were good times, my thoughts might be biased a bit.

I met my beautiful wife senior year of High School. I had no idea at time we would spend the next 14 years together living in 3 states and traveling all over the US and most of the northern hemisphere. We have had so many good times in so many different states and countries it is difficult to remember all the trips.

After our relationship lasted High School, College and her first year of Grad School (and if you have ever known someone through that time stretch, you know some things change... just a little...!) we decided to get married. We can never do anything normally, so we went to the Justice of the Peace and got married to save on paperwork. Then we flew to Italy and got married in the church with her family. Then we flew home and threw another party for our American family and friends. So basically we got married three times. We always joked we would have to get divorced three times as well!

After grad school and her PhD in Applied Mathematics (Smart, beautiful - I married WAAAAYYYY up!) she got a Post-Doc at Rice University and we moved down to Houston. Things were starting to calm down in our life so we decided to do the whole family thing. In a very short time we had the wonderful news that our entire life was going to change again by adding another member to the family. Just because it was the type of selfless person she was, she still jumped on a plane and interviewed all over the country for her next job (the post-doc was only for three years and it was going to be time to move on again!) and she managed get a job at Clemson University - and a year deferral to help with the family starting process. Hard work and a huge amount of flexibility had put all the pieces in place for us again. Just as we thought life could not get any better.


I don't know if being a Paramedic made this next part better or worse. I understood the entire process. I understood most of the medical jargon they like to throw at you. Hell, I had seen the entire scene fold out before - I am just usually on the other end of it.

She was crossing the street. It was one of those really wide streets. The light turned when she was in the middle, but the first 2 lanes let her cross anyways. The third lane looked clear, and the driver had a green light. Jen could not see the car because it was blocked by the other 2 cars, and the car could not see Jen because she was blocked by the parked cars. It was an unintentional recipe for disaster.

The injuries were devastating. She was unconscious as the result of the accident. She was right across the street from a Level 1 Trauma Center and there was still nothing to be done. They managed to get her in surgery and emergency c-section our little girl but the injuries to Jen were just too severe.

I got the call no one wants to get at work and headed to the hospital only knowing that Jen was involved in an accident. I got to her bedside as it was decided no more life saving measures could be performed. In what I thought would be the hardest moment of my life I held her close as her heart stopped beating. I am very grateful I managed to get by her side and she did not have to die alone in that lonely hospital room.

With no time to mourn the death of my best friend and wife, I went upstairs to check on my new born infant child. Unfortunately she suffered trauma as mom did and the bleeding was just too much - she had a hypoxic brain injury and severe blood loss and it was not expected for her to regain brain function.

She was such a beautiful little girl, so perfectly formed and pretty. It was hard to understand by looking at her that she had no chance at this world.

I can say that little girl got more loving in her 28 short hours than some people get in their entire life. I stayed with her through the night with all the procedures and tests to see if she could beat the one million-to-one odds, but the injuries were too severe, the brain damage from lack of oxygen too much.

I held her for the last several hours of her little life. I figured if Jen held her for the last 33 weeks in her womb the least I could do was hold her for her last several hours. I got her snuggled in and comfortable on my chest and let her know I would do anything in the world for her.

A little over a day after I held my wife as she died I held my infant child as they withdrew life support. It was all the sadness from the loss of my wife and the heartbreak from the loss of hope for this little one rolled into one. It was all most too much to take.


Please give your wives, children and loved ones an extra hug for me today, you never know what tomorrow might bring.

[HEEPER]

Sir, I'm sorry for your loss. I just sat here at my desk and prayed for you and your family. I'll call my wife and kids in a little to do just what you said. Telling them I love them. The only support I can give you is that I am praying and as others log on and read, they will to.

Blessing,
HEEP

[Squatchy07]

Prayers sent.

Be strong brother...

[fatboyf150]

Brother, my heart hurts for you. I hope and pray that you will one day find happiness again. If there is anything I can do for you, please ask.

[Rerock]

Oh my god. I can't even imagine the grief you're feeling right now. My sincerest sympathies go out to you, her family, and all those that knew her.

That story brought tears to my eyes.

I'm truly sorry for your loss.

[Rttoys]

Sorry for loss and many prayers have been sent. I couldn't imagine going through this. I'm sure you know your Houston Pirate community have been aware of this for some time now and we are here to help in any way we can, if that's even possible.

That was hell of a write up, I don't think I could have even done that right now. Just so you know there is this thread too:


/forum/general-chit-chat/1073667-prayers-thoughts-gavan.html

[volpster69]

Rest in peace your wife and child, may God be with them, holding them and not letting them feel lonely or scared. Let your wife be holding your child in her arms. May God reach down and let you know that they are with him. I dont know you but feel your pain and loss. Hold on dearest to the memories you have. take care.

[96BEAST]

Gavan, tons of prayers going out to you in this time of mourning. I'm not the type to tear up but reading that brought tears to my eyes. I get off in half an hour and I promise you the first thing I do when I get home will be to see each of my kids and wife to tell them how much I love them. So terribly sorry for your loss and if there's anything you need just let us know.

[usmcdoc14]

In all the pain and suck I have had in my life, I would not even lie to say I understand or know what you are feeling. If there was anything I could do to even destract you from that void in your soul I would.

If you need anything let me know, anything at all.

[jettscott]

Prayers for you and anything else I can do, just ask.

[APRILRAZZ]

I will keep you and them in my prayers.

[Mercedesrover]

All I can say is I'm sorry for your loss.

[Jwbogger]

Praying for you, be strong.

[dwilliams35]

I had seen that on the news and certainly had no idea at the time that I'd see it again like this: prayers sent for your family, and for you to find your way through this pain.

[KacksterK5]

Prayers sent your way. I can't even imagine your loss but remember that they will always love you.

[arcountryboy]

I wish I could say something other than prayers sent, but thats really about the only thing that can be done. So sorry for your loss.

[Kyron]

Prayers man

[Eisenfaust]

sorry for your loss. Prayers being sent.

[Pt_Ranger_V8]

Oooooooooooofffff..


prayers with you man.

[KungFooMASTA]

Damn Allergies I cant even imagine the pain you feel. I dont even know you or them, but the last time I have felt like this was when my aunt died. It feels like I lost someone, yet I dont even know you. I layed awake for hours last night thinking of this and praying. I dont have much, and dont know you, and probably never will but if there is anything I can do let me know.

[92_Chevy_1500]

Like many have mentioned, I can't even begin to fathom what kind of pain you must be going through.

Prayers sent your way. I wish there was more that could be done.

God Bless.

[HIPSI9]

Words cannot express how my heart aches for you, I am sorry for your loss.

[Overkill Eng]

Very sorry to hear my thoughts are with you very sad ..

[m_miller3980]

oh my god. I can't even imagine what you are going through right now. Im not much of a religious man but ill be praying for you today.

[ejlarson]

Wow man. Beyond words.

Prayers.