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Old 12-11-2009, 10:55 AM   #26 (permalink)
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Pretty obvious none of you have ever been to war.. spent time in an ER... stitched up your own leg after a hunting accident... had a compound fracture....or any of those other manly things..



Pussies.
Not true. I have no problems watching others bleeding, or in extreme duress, but put a needle near me or jab one in me and I see it and I get all light headed and dizzy.

Except that one time I watched the docs drill a hole in my leg just below my knee. I laughed and they said I was a twisted individual, but I think that was the morphine
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Old 12-11-2009, 11:09 AM   #27 (permalink)
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Except that one time I watched the docs drill a hole in my leg just below my knee. I laughed and they said I was a twisted individual, but I think that was the morphine
Ummmmmm..... Morophine For a while, it makes you glad you got hurt.
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Old 12-11-2009, 11:12 AM   #28 (permalink)
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I'd rather watch my nuts being cut on than cut off.
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Old 12-11-2009, 11:14 AM   #29 (permalink)
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I had a heart cath and they fill you up with radioactive crap and insert a camera in the artery down in your crotch, then they snake the camera up to your heart all while watching it on 2 tv's above the surgery table.

I dont know what drugs they use but you are awake and alert and remember everything but feel nothing.
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Old 12-11-2009, 11:18 AM   #30 (permalink)
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Ummmmmm..... Morophine For a while, it makes you glad you got hurt.
When the kiddo got her head cracked open by the golf club they gave her some. She sat up in the ICU looked at me with that "I'm so fawking high" grin and said..."Daddy I see 3 of you" pointing her finger back and forth between the real me and the visions of me and then and procceded to fall back into the pillows.

Had the staff in hysterics
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Old 12-11-2009, 11:21 AM   #31 (permalink)
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[QUOTE e-badass]I figured watch them so if they fucked up the last thing I did would be to hurt them.[/QUOTE]
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Old 12-11-2009, 11:32 AM   #32 (permalink)
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I had a heart cath and they fill you up with radioactive crap and insert a camera in the artery down in your crotch, then they snake the camera up to your heart all while watching it on 2 tv's above the surgery table.

I dont know what drugs they use but you are awake and alert and remember everything but feel nothing.
Gotcha.
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Old 12-11-2009, 11:37 AM   #33 (permalink)
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I had mine done 11-5-09, still some slight discomfort on occasion. I really had to push the issue of watching, prolly shouldn't have.......it wasn't all that great to see.

The Dr. told me 20 loads or 8 weeks, then get a 'sample' checked. Last week I walked in with 'sample' #23, and they were horrified; told me to cum back 1-05-10?

I only had 1 incision and 3 stitckes tho.....
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Old 12-11-2009, 11:40 AM   #34 (permalink)
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Quick question for those that have had it done. Did your insurance cover it? I'm pretty sure I don't want anymore little ones, but I'll probably give myself a few more years to think about it.
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Old 12-11-2009, 11:56 AM   #35 (permalink)
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Quick question for those that have had it done. Did your insurance cover it? I'm pretty sure I don't want anymore little ones, but I'll probably give myself a few more years to think about it.
I have a $2000 dollar deductible. That was wiped out after our third was born in April. I had to pay $150.00 or so for something my wife handled all the insurance stuff. It would have cost around $700 out of pocket. So yes my insurances did pay for it.
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Old 12-11-2009, 11:56 AM   #36 (permalink)
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I was so high I couldn't stop laughing. He told me that every time I laughed he had to go fishin' around to get the vas deferens out again. I said "are you sure its not just my giant balls?" My wife had to leave the room, she wouldn't let me stop laughing.

The healing took two and a half weeks at least. Swelling and OMG were they sensitive!
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Old 12-11-2009, 03:28 PM   #37 (permalink)
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Had mine done April or May '06. My lesson learned...
Don't:
Have spinal fusion in lumbar region in mid-March
Wife give birth March 30th
Have vasectomy 4-5 weeks later
Start core-strengthening physical therapy 2 weeks after that

Not only did the prcedue hurt like hell (all I got was 2 vallum and one deadening shot at the incision site in the middle of my sack, no stitches) I then developed epidydimitis and pulled my spermadic cord.

I didn't watch, I was too busy trying not to fly off the table when he was pulling my ears out of my sack with that damned crochet hook.

I'm right thee with the guys who now get a slight breeze within 10' of my useless boys and I'm squeakin like a mouse. Wife used to be damn near able to chew on them, now it hurts just to cup em with vigor.
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Old 12-11-2009, 03:40 PM   #38 (permalink)
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"Doc, you know those "numbing shots" sting like hell?"

I only recall feeling a tugging and it doesn't seem like I was bothered for much more than a week. I remember I went back to work the following Monday.

Vasectomy: 400. Speechless look on her face,..
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Old 12-11-2009, 03:45 PM   #39 (permalink)
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The whole smoke coming from my balls is what got me.
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Old 12-11-2009, 04:05 PM   #40 (permalink)
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Quick question for those that have had it done. Did your insurance cover it? I'm pretty sure I don't want anymore little ones, but I'll probably give myself a few more years to think about it.
I only had to pay my $10 copay. The smoke was a little bit unnerving.
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Old 12-11-2009, 04:16 PM   #41 (permalink)
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Ummmmmm..... Morophine For a while, it makes you glad you got hurt.
ahhhhh, the good stuff. Almost makes me look forward to the next time I do something stupid and end up in the hospital....

And as for looking at it... One day when I do get it done I dont think I will. I'm cool with needles and stitches and broken bones but watching my sack get cut open... you can keep that shit, I want them to knock my ass out.
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Old 12-11-2009, 04:42 PM   #42 (permalink)
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Awesome!

Quote:
I'll try to sum up a funny story that happened a few years ago:

I got a vasectomy.

I met a girl soon afterwards. She was nice and attractive but with a selfish streak that raised a big red flag. She was 32 at the time and I could practically HEAR her biological clock ticking. Regardless, she was a good lay, easy on the eyes, and reasonably good company.

I did NOT tell her about my vasectomy and I always used a condom with her to protect against STDs. She assumed, obviously, that the condom was only used for birth control. Silly girl.

We date for a few months. I never made any move towards commitment but she brought it up ocassionally. For me, this was a casual but pleasant relationship. For her - as I was to find out - it was part of life-changing series of events that she was planning very carefully.

Four months into dating, I get the "I'm pregnant" talk. She's going on and on about how the condom must have broke and now we really need to think about getting married "for the baby". She's positively giddy. She has a baby in her and she thinks she's gonna have a good meal ticket (me) to go along with her new 7lb annuity.

At this point, I'm just as giddy. I get to pull the reverse "oops" on her. I figured that she slept with some bad boy and got knocked up. Good thing I was using condoms! Better still that I have a serious mistrust of women who can't think beyond their own uteri.

So I wait a couple of days to "think about all this." I meet her again. I say I don't want kids and that she should have an abortion. I know where this is going and sure enough it goes there. She goes completely batshit insane on me. There were the usual insults about my manhood. There were threats of legal action. It was all very ugly and I was loving every minute of it.

Well, I let her stew for a few days. She leaves me nasty messages on my phone. She sends awful emails. I'm laughing hysterically.

It was time to drop the hammer. While she was stewing I was busy. First I get a notarized copy from the urologist who performed the vasectomy. Next I get a notarized copy of the TWO test results indicating a "negative test result for sperm" to show I'm sterile and shooting blanks. Finally, I get a letter from a shark attorney stating he has seen the other documents and is prepared to litigate against this woman if she continues to communicate with me in such an unpleasant manner. Also, the letter states that we will insist on DNA testing to show that the baby is not mine. I'm ready.

I meet with this woman at her place. I bring flowers and a small bit of jewelry to show I am willing to reconcile and assume my responsibilities as a new father. I also have stuck in my pocket the documents I have prepared.

She's all giddy again. Her plan is going perfectly - or so she thinks. We talk about our future. We have some pretty good sex. Then, as I am about to walk out the door, I ask her the $64,000 question. "Are you sure that this baby is mine?"

Well, she goes batshit insane again. Hell, she ought to. Her plan could completely unravel if there is ANY question about my paternity. Oh, she's really screaming now. How dare I question her morals. Do I think she's a slut. I'm just trying to weasel out of my responsibilities... blah, blah, blah, yadda, yadda, yadda.

I'm not really mad. I'm kind of embarrassed for her. But since she won't shut up and the neighbors can hear all of this, I ask her to step back inside and sit down. She sits on the sofa and calms down a bit. She is glaring at me with all the moral self-righteousness that only a woman can muster up. She thinks she has me trapped. She is 100% convinced her plan has worked. Oh, the tangled web of lies and deceit she has wrought around herself and I am about to hack through them with a few pieces of paper.

I reach into my pocket slowly. I extract the three pieces of paper and unfold them slowly and deliberately.

I tell her simply, "You're screwed".

Her look doesn't change. There is no way she can fathom what I have prepared.

I continue. "I am sterile"

Her look changes just a bit. Something is beginning to sink in. Naturally, she reverts to women's logic. "You're full of shit. You're trapped and you know it."

I hold up the letter and the test results. "Three months before we met, I had a vasectomy. Here is a notarized letter from him stating what I had done. Here are two test results showing that I tested negative for the presence of sperm. Blanks. I am shooting blanks. That baby inside you is simply not mine."

This woman is not to be swayed by logic and clear documentation. "Bullshit, those are fakes."

I was ready for that. "No, they are real. This last piece of paper is from my attorney. It's a simple letter to you that states if you pursue any kind of legal action against me for child support that I will insist on a DNA test to prove paternity, that is, to prove that your baby is not mine."

I give the woman all the documents. She reads them slowly, deliberately. With each passing second she can feel in her soul that she has made a very bad mistake. With denial swept away, she started to cry. It's a small cry at first. Then it becomes deeper and more painful. By the time she gets to the letter from the lawyer she is sobbing.

I had no sympathy for her. I turned and walked out the door. Even after I closed the door I could still hear her sobbing.

Epilogue -

I never heard directly from this woman again. I did hear through my friends that she did indeed have the baby. I also heard that the real father was some guy in a band she had met. I assumed that after 30, women stopped going after musicians, bikers, criminals, and thugs. Silly me for thinking the best of American women.

The Moral of the Story -

Get a vasectomy but keep it a secret.
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Old 12-11-2009, 04:47 PM   #43 (permalink)
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Pretty obvious none of you have ever been to war.. spent time in an ER... stitched up your own leg after a hunting accident... had a compound fracture....or any of those other manly things..



Pussies.
Yeah...whatever happend to Toyota Jim?????

Pussies...
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Old 12-12-2009, 10:23 PM   #44 (permalink)
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Got mine yesterday, they gave me a valume (sp?) but it didn't kick in till the ride home. Local anesthetic hurt like a mofo and my junk is pretty bruised. He said the stitches are all internal whatever that means. All I know is I only have about a 1/4" long cut on me that really didn't bleed. I didn't smell the burning. I did have the almost a dream like 18 year old nurse massaging my nuts though, that was an experience.

They said 30 fires before I come back and said to wait 10 days until the first "fire."

How long did you guys wait? Balls are a bit swollen and it still feels like I just got kicked there, but glad it is all done...
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Old 12-12-2009, 10:54 PM   #45 (permalink)
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Women are evil!

I miss Tom Leykis on the radio..
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Old 12-12-2009, 11:28 PM   #46 (permalink)
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Had it done last year. Not bad but the discomfort lasted a bit longer than most guys.

So I'm there, pantsless, doc's got my sack, fat assistant and Dr. are making small talk, I'm trying to be cool in that situation

Dr.: "Hand me that cauterizer"

Fat Assistant:"It sure is short and stubby"

***Uncomfortable silence***


Dr.: "Um she was talking about the tool, I mean the New cauterizer"

Me: "Doc, laughing right now is NOT a good thing for either of us"
Yeah my drs, asst.(female) asked if I was cold
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Old 12-12-2009, 11:42 PM   #47 (permalink)
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Yeah...whatever happend to Toyota Jim?????

Pussies...
Oddly enough, didn't he get diagnosed with some debilitating disease or something? Could be thinking of somebody else, though.
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Old 12-12-2009, 11:53 PM   #48 (permalink)
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Had mine done a couple years ago. I hurt for about a week, not too bad though. The strangest thing was the tugging sensation in your guts. I am glad I did it though. Condoms are horrible.
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Old 12-13-2009, 12:45 AM   #49 (permalink)
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I watched as my nut sack was sliced open. I had only local anesthetic on the balls.
The worst part was when the Doc pulled the Vas on my left nut to cut it. I felt the pain from the pull in my asshole!!! That was the only thing I felt during the procedure.
That was the best $50 (copay) I've ever spent!
Snipped 8/5/06 and I've been loving it!
The after math was fine with two days of loricet and bags of frozen peas on my balls.
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Old 12-13-2009, 05:00 AM   #50 (permalink)
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Quick question for those that have had it done. Did your insurance cover it? I'm pretty sure I don't want anymore little ones, but I'll probably give myself a few more years to think about it.
Should you be packing the sleigh or something right now? and who would give Santa health ins? I mean all those cookies and hanging out with elfs and all, not to mention flying with reindeer.


I just made the naughty list didn't I?
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