Why do you get a hard on when you are sleepy? AKA Morning wood. - Pirate4x4.Com : 4x4 and Off-Road Forum
 
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Old 01-14-2010, 09:32 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Why do you get a hard on when you are sleepy? AKA Morning wood.

I've always wondered about this. I mean really, what causes "Morning Wood"?

The reason I ask is because I got to bed late last night, got up at 5, and work is slow as hell. So here I am, half awake, really tired, with a friggin hammer in my pants.

I can't figure it out, this happens every time I'm half awake. Works great for the wifey on the weekends. But when you are in a boring meeting, half awake, and all of a sudden you are chubbing like a 16 year old with his first playboy, there can be some awkwardness.

What the hell causes this? It always happens at the most random times too. It's always unnerving to sit there adjusting your slacks because 1) You're sporting a raging boner, 2) Slacks don't help at all cover it.


Any else suffer from these? I've heard them called NARBs before, No Apparent Reason Boner. I'm the friggin NARB king.

Can't wait till I'm sitting here with one, and someone comes in and I have to stand up in a hurry.
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Old 01-14-2010, 09:33 AM   #2 (permalink)
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I try to rub them on the hot chick in the office.
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Old 01-14-2010, 09:39 AM   #3 (permalink)
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NARB

I hate 'em. Just wanna punch the thing to make it go down sometimes. One time I was car pooling with a coworker and had a mentally exhausting day. So he's driving that day and on the way home I finally let myself relax in the car and apparently got so relaxed that I started getting a fuckin' boner and the more I tried to think it away, the harder it got. I didn't know what to do, so I just shifted sideways in the seat and acted like I was going to sleep, all the while thinking about how incredible gay it is that I had a full blown hardon in a car with some dude.
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Old 01-14-2010, 09:41 AM   #4 (permalink)
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This thread makes me hard.
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Old 01-14-2010, 09:45 AM   #5 (permalink)
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NARB

I hate 'em. Just wanna punch the thing to make it go down sometimes. One time I was car pooling with a coworker and had a mentally exhausting day. So he's driving that day and on the way home I finally let myself relax in the car and apparently got so relaxed that I started getting a fuckin' boner and the more I tried to think it away, the harder it got. I didn't know what to do, so I just shifted sideways in the seat and acted like I was going to sleep, all the while thinking about how incredible gay it is that I had a full blown hardon in a car with some dude.
Don't trip......if i'm tired and in a car...its like a recipe for the perfect boner. The morning commute always consisted of a large rockstar and a small boner. don't ask me why cause i don't know.
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Old 01-14-2010, 09:46 AM   #6 (permalink)
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* Most healthy men often wake up in the morning with an erection. "Morning wood" and "Morning tent" are slang terms for this. Men have several erections a night as part of their sleep cycle. Many times they wake up and find they are still erect.

* A man's penis becomes erect in response to sexual arousal and excitement, but it can also become erect as a result of deep relaxation, such as that experienced in deep sleep called REM (rapid eye movement) -- a period of sleep during which you dream.

* An erection is caused by a rush of blood to the penis. A man's penis -- especially that of a young man -- can also become erect without any kind of arousing stimulation; this is known as "spontaneous erection."

* The male testosterone level is at its highest in the early morning during restful sleep, usually built up during the night and at its highest around 4-6 a.m. from my understanding.

* Many times it has to do with what you are dreaming about -- males can be aroused in their sleep and have a nocturnal emission (wet dream).

* No, you do not get an erection because you need to pee. The erection and the need to pee are coincidental. Think about it, do you get a hard-on every time you need to pee?

* Morning erections are technically nighttime erections which happen during Rapid Eye Movement (REM) sleep (when most dreaming occurs), although men older than sixty years may have them during even non-REM sleep. Generally, males experience four intervals of REM sleep per night. These spontaneous erections in the wee hours are caused by specific neuroreflexes that are stimulated during REM sleep. Morning erections are the tail end of a series of nighttime erections, as many as five per night that can last for 20-30 minutes each.

* Many people are not aware of the fact that erections do not just serve sexual purposes; they also are a source of increased blood supply to the penis, so the male body will have several erections at night, just to keep the penis healthy.

* Waking usually occurs after a session of Rapid Eye Movement (REM) sleep. Just about everyone gets an erection during REM sleep, while you're dreaming. That's why you often wake up from a dream, with a hardon. Also, there is the phenomenon of the "Pee Horn", where you wake up desperate for a pee, with a hardon, and then hit yourself in the eye when you go to the bathroom. Everyone gets it.

* because the whole night they dream about being with supersexy,busty, glamorious chicks



Discuss the question "Why do men get an erection upon waking up?"
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Old 01-14-2010, 09:47 AM   #7 (permalink)
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NARBs suck. No idea what causes them, but as you guys said, they always happen at the worst time.
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Old 01-14-2010, 09:49 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Jeez, it's like the research of mike judge went completely unnoticed. It's the morning wood fairy.
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Old 01-14-2010, 09:52 AM   #9 (permalink)
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I figured it was because my dick was tired of me sleeping on it so it decided to prop me up in an attempt to get me to roll off of it.
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Old 01-14-2010, 09:54 AM   #10 (permalink)
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* Many people are not aware of the fact that erections do not just serve sexual purposes; they also are a source of increased blood supply to the penis, so the male body will have several erections at night, just to keep the penis healthy.

Erections are healthy? Oh lawdy lawdy... I'm going to use that!
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Old 01-14-2010, 09:54 AM   #11 (permalink)
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I've always wondered about this. I mean really, what causes "Morning Wood"?

The reason I ask is because I got to bed late last night, got up at 5, and work is slow as hell. So here I am, half awake, really tired, with a friggin hammer in my pants.

I can't figure it out, this happens every time I'm half awake. Works great for the wifey on the weekends. But when you are in a boring meeting, half awake, and all of a sudden you are chubbing like a 16 year old with his first playboy, there can be some awkwardness.

What the hell causes this? It always happens at the most random times too. It's always unnerving to sit there adjusting your slacks because 1) You're sporting a raging boner, 2) Slacks don't help at all cover it.


Any else suffer from these? I've heard them called NARBs before, No Apparent Reason Boner. I'm the friggin NARB king.

Can't wait till I'm sitting here with one, and someone comes in and I have to stand up in a hurry.
Or falling asleep at your desk trying to read something when your wiener butts up against he bottom of your desk. What makes it extra fun is when someone walks in about then.
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Old 01-14-2010, 10:00 AM   #12 (permalink)
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You ever had to ponder a meeting?

Everybody gets up to leave the meeting room - you had to get your ass into work early just to make the retarded meeting...

You've got a raging boner that mental images of Ronald Reagan naked won't put down.

"Hey guys, I'm going to just hang here and go over my notes for the meeting."

Not to mention the fact that you KNOW everybody walking out of that room is thinking *that motherfucker hasn't taken a single note in any meeting I've ever been too!*
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Old 01-14-2010, 10:08 AM   #13 (permalink)
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I figured it was because my dick was tired of me sleeping on it so it decided to prop me up in an attempt to get me to roll off of it.
I hate when I roll over and it snags.

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* * Waking usually occurs after a session of Rapid Eye Movement (REM) sleep. Just about everyone gets an erection during REM sleep, while you're dreaming. That's why you often wake up from a dream, with a hardon.
I do that all the time. I'll be thinking, "what the hell was I dreaming about?". Many times, nothing sexual.

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Or falling asleep at your desk trying to read something when your wiener butts up against he bottom of your desk. What makes it extra fun is when someone walks in about then.
Like I said, I wear slacks, so if I get a NARB I have no other choice but to adjust it up, and let it tuck behind my belt and pants. So there is this NARB sticking up out of my pants (behind my dress shirt) and poking me in the stomach. Not the most comfortable thing.
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Old 01-14-2010, 10:13 AM   #14 (permalink)
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fuck, im laughing my ass off at this whole post...













i have a NARB
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Old 01-14-2010, 10:37 AM   #15 (permalink)
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To keep you from rolling out of bed, duh!

too late

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Old 01-14-2010, 10:48 AM   #16 (permalink)
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It does happen at the wrong times. When I was working and got one i'd just tell everyone I was gonna do a little work on the skid steer and hope it went away quick.

Otherwise i'd be in that thing for hours
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Old 01-14-2010, 10:49 AM   #17 (permalink)
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YouTube - Beavis and butthead - the mystery of morning wood

sorry can't figure out how to embed
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Old 01-14-2010, 10:53 AM   #18 (permalink)
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you know what i do? i flip my boner up into my waistband. it hides it and it feels awesome.
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Old 01-14-2010, 10:55 AM   #19 (permalink)
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I started getting a fuckin' boner and the more I tried to think it away, the harder it got.
so true
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Old 01-14-2010, 10:57 AM   #20 (permalink)
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* Waking usually occurs after a session of Rapid Eye Movement (REM) sleep. Just about everyone gets an erection during REM sleep, while you're dreaming. That's why you often wake up from a dream, with a hardon. Also, there is the phenomenon of the "Pee Horn", where you wake up desperate for a pee, with a hardon, and then hit yourself in the eye when you go to the bathroom. Everyone gets it.
lol wut? people piss on themselves? I've completely missed the bowl before but never hit myself in the face.
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Old 01-14-2010, 11:06 AM   #21 (permalink)
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This thread is making me Narb....
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Old 01-14-2010, 11:09 AM   #22 (permalink)
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lol wut? people piss on themselves? I've completely missed the bowl before but never hit myself in the face.
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Old 01-14-2010, 11:11 AM   #23 (permalink)
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Waking usually occurs after a session of Rapid Eye Movement (REM) sleep. Just about everyone gets an erection during REM sleep, while you're dreaming. That's why you often wake up from a dream, with a hardon. Also, there is the phenomenon of the "Pee Horn", where you wake up desperate for a pee, with a hardon, and then hit yourself in the eye when you go to the bathroom. Everyone gets it.


WTF? THat is when you initiate the "drunken leaning piss"... never shot myself before
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Old 01-14-2010, 11:19 AM   #24 (permalink)
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lol wut? people piss on themselves? I've completely missed the bowl before but never hit myself in the face.
Yeah i've never done that but I have shot it in 3 different directions before. Usually after sex. It sucks!
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Old 01-14-2010, 11:19 AM   #25 (permalink)
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WTF? THat is when you initiate the "drunken leaning piss"... never shot myself before
Oh yeah, I hate that. I have to rest my head against the wall above the toilet while trying to force it downward to relieve it.

I've accidentally lost my grip while not paying attention once and it was like a loose firehose. Imagine a hose attached to a diving board after a fat kid jumped off.
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