What do I do with my little brother?

[Muddin]

I really don't know what to think of this. I constantly go back and forth between him simply not being capable of being out on his own or that he's too lazy or lacks the will power to do what he's supposed to.

He's about to turn 23. He is constantly overdrawing his account. His apartment is always a mess, like not clean messy but a possible health hazzard. I don't see him every day, but from what I hear he doesn't even shower as often as he should. He's also diabetic and 'says' he's taking care of himself, but he's very good at not telling the whole truth. He might say he has checked his sugar level, but actually mean he checked it a week ago. He was also diagnosed with mild autism.

Dad didn't do a good job of teaching any of us the ropes in life. And, one at at a time, he basically pulled the carpet from underneath us and we were suddenly on our own. My older brother was actually thrown out of the house. He and my ex-stepmother got divorced and he basically didn't provide a roof over my head and said "Sorry" to me. With my little brother, Dad moved and told him he couldn't come with him. He did the worst job with my little brother.
My older brother and myself are quick learners. My little brother isn't. What he's learned to do, despite both mine and my older bro's intervention is he's learned to manipulate people using a pity party to mooch off of them. If he watches what he spends, he makes enough to support himself. But, he doesn't and goes out to eat with freinds all of the time. His friends constantly change since they get fed up with him mooching. He doesn't seem to realize mooching is wrong even if you're upfront and tell him. It's like he doesn't care. It's the same thing with his hygene. That may be the autism, but I don't like letting him use it as an excuse if he's capable of understanding.

I think his autism is something he would have to struggle to deal with, but I think he *could* if he tried. The trouble is, I don't see that he wants to try. Or, maybe he's not capable. I'm really not sure what he is and isn't capable of and this is where a professional would help, I think.
Anyway, he isn't managing well. I wonder how well he's managing his diabetes since I don't think I'm getting the whole truth from him.
I know he can't afford (and neither can the rest of us) to go to a professional. He doesn't make much money so maybe there's some assistance available for him?

I'm totally clueless as to where to start. He needs help, or needs a serious wake up call.

[DaGimp]

He'll learn the hard way, for some its the only way they learn.

[Muddin]

Originally Posted by DaGimp

He'll learn the hard way, for some its the only way they learn.

Typically, it's what I would say. But, he's got autism and I'm not sure how much this plays into all of his 'problems' (anyone with experience with autism that can offer some insight would really help). If it is a significant part of his 'problem', he could be a bum on the street and wouldn't know any better, which also means he doesn't get care for his diabetes.

[GENA]

Just came across this link and it has a lot of contact information: Texas Autism Resources
Maybe you can start by researching state services because it sounds like you are going to need a lot of help in getting him on the right track and this may have to go beyond what you can physically and mentally do for him. Good luck.

[Jeepnford]

Look in the phone book under Handicapped Services. They could probably give you some direction. He might do well in a group home. He'd have some supervision but could also hold down a job,etc. Some good friends of mine have a son that's 20 who was born with a genetic defect. He can eat a table full of food and doesn't feel like he's eaten. He could literally eat himself to death. They put him in a group home when he was 19 and he LOVES it there. Sometimes they can live in a house with people that have similar disabilities so they don't feel like such an "outsider".

[GENA]

Originally Posted by Jeepnford

Look in the phone book under Handicapped Services. They could probably give you some direction. He might do well in a group home. He'd have some supervision but could also hold down a job,etc. Some good friends of mine have a son that's 20 who was born with a genetic defect. He can eat a table full of food and doesn't feel like he's eaten. He could literally eat himself to death. They put him in a group home when he was 19 and he LOVES it there. Sometimes they can live in a house with people that have similar disabilities so they don't feel like such an "outsider".

Yes, I have an older half-brother who has autism and he was in and out of my house when I was growing up. I remember he had a lot of problems that I didn't understand at the time and he would run away a lot. He was placed into a group home not too far away with people that had similar mental health issues and he continues to live in one as an adult. They can be amazing resources that would keep him on a schedule to make sure he is taking his diabetes medication as well as if he is taking care of himself and his hygiene. They often help with finding job placement as well.

[Foolish]

Main thing I am worried about is him not keeping up with his diabetes problem. I have had a friend die b/c he was too lazy to check his levels.

[Bob from BC]

The road is long
With many a winding turn
That leads us to who knows where
Who knows when
But I'm strong
Strong enough to carry him
He ain't heavy, he's my brother

So on we go
His welfare is of my concern
No burden is he to bear
We'll get there
For I know
He would not encumber me
He ain't heavy, he's my brother

If I'm laden at all
I'm laden with sadness
That everyone's heart
Isn't filled with the gladness
Of love for one another

It's a long, long road
From which there is no return
While we're on the way to there
Why not share
And the load
Doesn't weigh me down at all
He ain't heavy, he's my brother

He's my brother
He ain't heavy, he's my brother...

[ghettojeep]

Swift kick in the ass?

Have you voiced your concerns? People listen to their brothers.

Perhaps get your other one together and talk to him. He may especially listen to his two older ones.

"Listen bud, your fawking up bad, you need to realize this, or WE (you and your other bro) are gonna have to do something about it."

I dunno, I listen to my bro.

[schulze]

Originally Posted by ghettojeep

Swift kick in the ass? Have you voiced your concerns? People listen to their brothers.

Perhaps get your other one together and talk to him. He may especially listen to his two older ones.

Muddin' is his sister.
Pip

[ghettojeep]

Originally Posted by schulze

Muddin' is his sister.
Pip

Lol, Im sorry. Didnt realize: thick skull sometimes... Sister would work too I bet, I dunno I dont have one.

[schulze]

Originally Posted by ghettojeep

Lol, Im sorry. Didnt realize: thick skull sometimes... Sister would work too I bet, I dunno I dont have one.

No problem. I get mistaken for a guy on here all the time too .
Pip (Ms.)

[BumperJumper]

Originally Posted by ghettojeep

Lol, Im sorry. Didnt realize: thick skull sometimes... Sister would work too I bet, I dunno I dont have one.

I don't really listen to my older sister, though now that she's 28 and I'm 25, I tend to be the voice of reason, and the defensive one. She takes good care of herself though, so I only have to step in if someone else is giving her shit. That's when I walk up carring a bigass fencepost and say "hey sis wassup?"

[ScottFJ40]

Originally Posted by schulze

No problem. I get mistaken for a guy on here all the time too .
Pip (Ms.)

[WertyzMom]

Originally Posted by schulze

No problem. I get mistaken for a guy on here all the time too .
Pip (Ms.)

LOL!!

I hear you on that!



I guess with the PBB being such a heavily MASCULINE place... that having actual FEMALES here is an unexpected thing!