I love my children sooo much!

[lok'd chic]

1) I really love my son when I find out that he has filled the mouth wash he and his sister use with liquid soap. By finding out, I mean, when she is asking me why it tastes like soap as she is swishing and he is giving me the *oh no, I'm busted* look.

2) When my son decides to *cook* for me in the morning...before I am awake. Like...chocolate syrup and maple syrup mixed together with some Apple Jacks in a bowl...of course, none of that is really IN a bowl but all around it.

3) When my son gets into a fire ant mound after I repeatedly tell him not to and gets bit/stung several times...then while I am putting ant killer on the mound the f*cking things decide to attack my feet. Yes, I love the fire ants in TX.

That's the highlight for today's episode of I LOVE MY CHILDREN

[f0cker]

Originally Posted by lok'd chic

1) I really love my son when I find out that he has filled the mouth wash he and his sister use with liquid soap. By finding out, I mean, when she is asking me why it tastes like soap as she is swishing and he is giving me the *oh no, I'm busted* look.

Classic!!

[Roxywheels]

Beat him so hard that I can hear him scream at my house!

[lok'd chic]

Originally Posted by Roxywheels

Beat him so hard that I can hear him scream at my house!

They're already in bed sleeping. That was a recap of today's festivities. I am sure tomorrow will give me many opportunities to beat him

[SanDiegoCJ]

Originally Posted by lok'd chic

They're already in bed sleeping. That was a recap of today's festivities. I am sure tomorrow will give me many opportunities to beat him

How dare you beat that darling little child.

[Roxywheels]

Originally Posted by SanDiegoCJ

How dare you beat that darling little child.

We'll send him to you! I'll go over and help Tina pack his things. He doesn't eat much...just give him some bread and he's happy! And he loves Sponge Bob, so you're good to go!

[SanDiegoCJ]

Originally Posted by Roxywheels

We'll send him to you! I'll go over and help Tina pack his things. He doesn't eat much...just give him some bread and he's happy! And he loves Sponge Bob, so you're good to go!

Oh goody, he can terrorize the 3 dogs.

[lok'd chic]

Let's hear some other stories! I know you got 'em...

Or are everybody elses kids really that much better than mine?

[FaustKnight]

I love when my 5yo daughter comes running out of her room and yells "the dog did it!"

:Edit: Fergot to add we got rid of the dog 6mo ago...

[TwistedTJTank]

My son is an only child...and he still tried the 'It wasn't me' defense

[dubbyx]

I got one... we babysat my nephew for a few hours last night. the kids all played outside for hours jumping on the trampoline and pretending to drive the dunebuggy. quite fun.

they come inside and I reminded them to go back out and pick up their socks and shoes. Thomas (nephew) comes in upset that his shoes have dog poop all over them. we didn't think much of it, it happens, until our oldest daughter goes running into her room giggling. she's always up to no good so I called her back into the living room and ask her what's up with thomas's shoes (they are absolutely covered in shit, top to bottom, ground in deep). she tells the story.

"Thomas pushed me, and I accidently stepped in dog poop. It was gross. I didn't have my shoes on either. So when he wasn't looking, I took his shoes and rubbed 'em around in it because he was mean to me."

We left the shoes on the front porch. His mom shows up at 11pm to pick him up and asks where his shoes are. She took one look at 'em and decided they had to stop at Wal-mart for new shoes on the way home.

[ironpig70]

my wife was walking into the twins room to get my daughter after nap time and my son was standing in his crib with out his diaper when my wife entered the room she asked my boy what he was doing at which time he stood up, smiled at her and then peed out of his crib onto the floor. my son likes peeing on the floor any chance he gets

[Travis Waldher]

At 6 months... it started already.

Pete is crying next to me, trying to not go to sleep. I'm holding Nate.

Pete finally starts to pass out, just about out...

Then Nate starts crying.

Pete woke up, started cyring again.

Nate immediately stopped and got this look on his face that just said he did it on purpose.

[Terrys_85_Toy]

About 2 years, when my son was 4 and my daughter was 2 and still in diapers, they were playing in her room. It got really quiet for a few minutes so the wife and I got worried. I went back to see what was going on and the two of them had gotten into the baby powder and lotion. They were covered from head to toe in baby powder and they had used the lotion to rub the powder on the floor to draw in it. My wife was pissed. I had to leave the room because they looked hilarious. I couldn't punish them because it was so damned funny.

[ironpig70]

Originally Posted by Travis Waldher

At 6 months... it started already.

Pete is crying next to me, trying to not go to sleep. I'm holding Nate.

Pete finally starts to pass out, just about out...

Then Nate starts crying.

Pete woke up, started cyring again.

Nate immediately stopped and got this look on his face that just said he did it on purpose.

just wait. if one is awake and one is asleep the awake one will do everthing it their power to wake the other one. both mine will put there hands thru the crib slots and either poke them or take there blanket or just harass them till they wake up

[Cabin Boy]

Originally Posted by ironpig70

my wife was walking into the twins room to get my daughter after nap time and my son was standing in his crib with out his diaper when my wife entered the room she asked my boy what he was doing at which time he stood up, smiled at her and then peed out of his crib onto the floor. my son likes peeing on the floor any chance he gets

You know the drill. Rub his nose in it & whack him with a newspaper.

[ironpig70]

Originally Posted by Cabin Boy

You know the drill. Rub his nose in it & whack him with a newspaper.

i'll try that. how do you rub there nose in it when they do it in the tub

[TwistedTJTank]

Originally Posted by ironpig70

i'll try that. how do you rub there nose in it when they do it in the tub

You ask them to hold thier breath first

[MiddleTyger4WD]

My fifteen month old has picked up the word "Ass" somewhere and seems to think it's funny to say it constantly. I think it's hilarious (though I don't laugh in front of him) nobody else thinks its that funny especially his grandparents.

[APRILRAZZ]

My grandmother is from the south and has her hair done every week. You know the higher the hair the closer to god look. My son was less than a day old and we were still in the hospital waiting to leave. Grandmother is sitting in a chair next the the little baby aquarium while David is getting his diaper changed. Infant boy plus cold air minus diaper plus freshly done rinse and set. You do the math.
Both my grandmother and my son hate that story so I tell it every chance I get

[uglyjeepoffroad]

My 3 yo son came in our room this past Saturday, he proceede to tell his mother and I how he was getting to be a really big boy. I asked how he knew, he then proceeded to drop trou and show off the hardest little 3 yo penis in the world and points to it saying, "look, its getting big like yours, Daddy". My wife pulled the covers over her head laughing and I had to explain why that wans't a good thing to do.

[lok'd chic]

Originally Posted by uglyjeepoffroad

My 3 yo son came in our room this past Saturday, he proceede to tell his mother and I how he was getting to be a really big boy. I asked how he knew, he then proceeded to drop trou and show off the hardest little 3 yo penis in the world and points to it saying, "look, its getting big like yours, Daddy". My wife pulled the covers over her head laughing and I had to explain why that wans't a good thing to do.

I have the same issue every once in a while...he will rub it and make it grow

[Ashley21]

Originally Posted by lok'd chic

I have the same issue every once in a while...he will rub it and make it grow

I'm glad I have a girl.

[APRILRAZZ]

Originally Posted by Ashley21

I'm glad I have a girl.

You say that now, just wait untill she brings one of our sons home and introduces him as your future son in law

[Renee]

I'm never having kids.