not a bad joke...

[Cue-Ball]

Not sure if this is a repost.

Three strangers strike up a conversation in the airport passenger lounge in Bozeman, Montana, while awaiting their respective flights.

One is an American Indian passing through from Lame Deer. Another is a Cowboy on his way to Billings for a livestock show and the third passenger is a fundamentalist Arab student, newly arrived at Montana State University from the Middle East.

Their discussion drifts to their diverse cultures. Soon, the two Westerners learn that the Arab is a devout, radical Muslim and the conversation falls into an uneasy lull.

The cowboy leans back in his chair, crosses his boots on a magazine table and tips his big sweat-stained hat forward over his face. The wind outside is blowing tumbleweeds around, and the old windsock is flapping; but still no plane comes.

Finally, the American Indian clears his throat and softly he speaks, "At one time here, my people were many, but sadly, now we are few."

The Muslim student raises an eyebrow and leans forward, "Once my people were few," he sneers, "and now we are many. Why do you suppose that is?"

The Montana cowboy shifts his toothpick to one side of his mouth and from the darkness beneath his Stetson says in a smooth drawl . .

“That's 'cause we ain't played Cowboys and Muslims yet, but I do believe it's a-comin'."

[mudslinger99]

[Cue-Ball]

The wife is curled up, ready to go to sleep, as the husband turns his bed lamp on to read a book. As he's reading, he periodically reaches over to his wife and fondles her special area. He does this a few times, but only for very short intervals before turning back to read his book.

The wife gradually becomes more and more aroused and assuming that her husband is seeking some encouragement she gets up and starts stripping in front of him.

The husband is confused and asks, "Why are you taking off your clothes?"

His wife replies, "You were rubbing me downtown and I thought it was foreplay."

The husband says, "No, not at all."

His wife asks angrily, "Well, then what the h*ll were you doing?"

Seconds before his death he says... "I was just wetting my fingers so I could turn the pages."

[kodiak1232003]

Originally Posted by Cue-Ball

The wife is curled up, ready to go to sleep, as the husband turns his bed lamp on to read a book. As he's reading, he periodically reaches over to his wife and fondles her special area. He does this a few times, but only for very short intervals before turning back to read his book.

The wife gradually becomes more and more aroused and assuming that her husband is seeking some encouragement she gets up and starts stripping in front of him.

The husband is confused and asks, "Why are you taking off your clothes?"

His wife replies, "You were rubbing me downtown and I thought it was foreplay."

The husband says, "No, not at all."

His wife asks angrily, "Well, then what the h*ll were you doing?"

Seconds before his death he says... "I was just wetting my fingers so I could turn the pages."

thats about right.

[lowbuck]

/\

[TwistedTJTank]

I give em both four of four

[ironpig70]

cowboys and muslims

[Mike Catts]

Probably a repost but oh well
Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven.

When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven: don't step on the ducks!"

So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one.

Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw.

St. Peter chains them together and says, "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!"

The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing. With him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman.

The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps.

She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on ... very tall, long eyelashes, muscular, and thin



St. Peter chains them together without saying a word.


The happy woman says, "I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?"

The guy says, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck!"

[SteveZ59]

Originally Posted by Mike Catts

The guy says, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck!"

Hadn't heard that one before.

[Tbam]

Jesus and St. Peter went golfing in Heaven one day. On the first hole Peter drove down to within 10 feet of the hole and was happy. Well then Jesus stepped up, drove the ball way over the green and into some trees. Right about that time a squirrel grabbed his ball and was heading to a tree and a huge eagle swooped down and grabbed the squirrel and flew high into the air. Then he dropped the squirrel and he landed on the green and the ball jarred out of his mouth and rolled into the hole.........Peter looked at Jesus and said, " are you gonna fuck around all day, or are we gonna play golf?"

[Haole]

Three ducks are at the courthouse being arraigned.

The judge asks the first duck was he was charged with.

The duck said, "Blowing bubbles."

The judge said, "Ok, three days in jail."

Then the judge asked the second duck what he was charged with.

The duck replied, "Blowing bubbles."

The judge said, "Three days for you too.

Then the judge said to the third duck, "I supposed you're here for the same thing."

The third duck said, "No, I'm Bubbles."

[Cue-Ball]

Originally Posted by Tbam

Jesus and St. Peter went golfing in Heaven one day. On the first hole Peter drove down to within 10 feet of the hole and was happy. Well then Jesus stepped up, drove the ball way over the green and into some trees. Right about that time a squirrel grabbed his ball and was heading to a tree and a huge eagle swooped down and grabbed the squirrel and flew high into the air. Then he dropped the squirrel and he landed on the green and the ball jarred out of his mouth and rolled into the hole.........Peter looked at Jesus and said, " are you gonna fuck around all day, or are we gonna play golf?"

I heard this one but it was moses jesus and an old man.

Moses hits into the water, and parts the water, and hits shot 2 into the hole.

Jesus hits and it lands on a lilly pad, so he walks out on the water and hits shot 2 in the hole.

THen the Old man hits and the ball flies towards the water. A bass jumps out and catches the ball with it's mouth, eagle catched bass, drops bass on green, ball rolls out and into the hole.

Moses says to Jesus, "I hate playing with your father!"