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08-05-2006, 04:10 PM
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#1 |
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Registered User
Join Date: Feb 2003
Member # 17351
Location: Texas
Posts: 111
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What I did on my summer vacation in...VEGAS!
Well, after spending a week in Vegas, I thought I'd share a few things I encountered/experienced. Feel free to agree, disagree, call BS, whatever.
The Bellagio is almost...TOO nice. I mean, damn - even the trash cans in the snack bar off of the poker room have granite tops. Marble EVERYWHERE. Intricate inlaid tile, brass fixtures, glass ceilings..and that's just in the elevators. I've stayed in some nice hotels before (and some real dumps) - but that was THE nicest, by far. Next time I go to Vegas, though, I'll probably stay somewhere else, just so I won't feel quite so out of place. If you can afford the very best, I highly reccomend it. Here's some tips if you decide to stay there: *The Buffet is HUGE - and kinda pricey. $15 for breakfast, $25 for lunch & dinner ($35 on weekends). This is PER PERSON, folks. Try it once, but get there either really early or really late, 'cause the line can get ridiculous in a heartbeat. It opens for breakfast at 8 am, and the line is already out the door when they open. If you're an early riser like me and you want to eat without standing in line first, head to the Cafe Bellagio, just on the other side of the Conservatory. They open at 7 am, and you can walk right in and sit at the counter (plus, it's a little cheaper.) The Pool Cafe opens at 8 am, but being Vegas, it's hot as hell out there, even with shade and ceiling fans. The shops are interesting, but WAYYY out of the price range of mere mortals, like you and me. If you have a couple hundred grand to spend, by all means, go ahead - but I'll spend my (meager) Blackjack winnings on truck parts, not designer shoes. Speaking of Blackjack, I had a blast playing the $10, $15, and $25 tables in the casino. If you go, look for dealer named "Gene" - he's an older guy from the Bronx, but he's great at helping players out and a great attitude. Not only did I come out ahead nearly everytime I sat down, the tables are right next to the main traffic aisles through the casino - so you get a great view of all the women walking through. And holy cow, do I mean WOMEN.  There were more fine, sexy, drop-dead gorgeous women walking around in there than I could shake a stick at. If you've ever wondered to yourself where all the good-looking women have gone to - they're in Vegas. On the Strip. Walking around the casinos with some weird dude. Trust me on this.The monorail is overrated. Yeah, it's an alternative to walking up and down the strip, or taking a cab that just sits in gridlocked traffic while the meter runs - but if you're staying in a resort on the west side of the strip (Bellagio, Ceasar's, Luxor, Mandalay Bay, Mirage, TI, etc) you have to walk all the way through your hotel (this can take a while), down to an intersection, across one of the walkways, down to one of the hotels on the east side of the Strip that has a monorail station (Bally's, MGM Grand, etc), then through THAT hotel (which can take a while), before you even get to a monorail station. If you're going less than a mile or so (like from the Bellagio to the Venetian)...just walk. I know it's hot, but there are plenty of places to duck into for some A/C (and try a slot or two) along the way. Speaking of walking - take some comfortable shoes. Wear them. You'll be glad you did. If you're out walking around, take a water bottle with you. You'll be surprised how fast you'll go through water. Yeah, it's a "dry" heat - but it's still hot. I'm from Texas, where the heat is accompanied by some serious humidity, so I'm used to sweating my ass off as soon as I walk outside - this doesn't really happen in Vegas. You sweat, but it evaporates so damn fast you don't really notice it. If you're planning to walk by TI during one of the scheduled "pirate" shows (lame, lame, lame)...don't. The sidewalk gets packed full of idiots, and you can't move. The "volcano" at the Mirage isin't as crowded (but it's even lamer) and the fountain shows at the Bellagio aren't bad at all. Now, for the hotels: First off, they're BIG. I mean, they're HUGE. Gargantuan. Think of the biggest building you've ever been in - a football stadium, a shopping mall, maybe a hanger for a 747....not even CLOSE. Just the casinos are bigger than that. You can walk, and walk, and walk some more..and there's still more to walk through. Your feet will hurt. My favorite casino .. the Bellagio. (The "Lucky Devil" quarter slots just in front of the Buffet entrance pay off well. True, they're only quarter slots, but when you put in $5 and walk away with $80, are you going to complain?) The slot attendant hotties walking around in short black skirts and showing serious cleavage sure help, too. Ceasar's Palace is just.... humongous. And gorgeous, too. The Forum shops can keep your wife busy all day. If you're into racing at all, head over to the "Exotic Cars" shop in the rotunda next to the Atlantis fountain - they have 2 driving simulators that F*CKING AWESOME. These are NOT racing games, they are the most realistic simulators I have ever seen. Trail brake a little late into a corner, and the rear will start to come around. Get 2 wheels off in the grass or gravel, and your traction suffers for a few seconds until the tires clear off. They're $20.00 for 5 minutes, but you will have a blast. Do it. Speaking of cars, don't bother with the car museum at the Imperial Palace. It's not bad, (and it's free, if you get a coupon) but there's really not anything all that great about it, either. The Venetian is very nice - in fact, next time I go to Vegas, that's where I'll probably stay. The Canal shops are a great place to go shopping with your wife (or GF) - they're made to look like historic Italian storefronts along a canal (which is flowing through the center of the building, complete with gondolas and singing gondoliers). Throw in roving performers and great Italian food, and I give it a big thumbs up. Paris is about the same (except it looks like...Paris, duh). Plus, you've got 3 legs of the Effiel tower sticking through the roof of the casino. Try as I might, I could not find a video Blackjack machine, though. MGM Grand was...big, and...green. That's about all I can say. TI was OK...but quite up to the standards of some of the other casinos. The Luxor was...weird. It's a big pyramid...and that's about it. I wasn't impressed. Plus, too many bratty kids running around. Now, to the question that everybody always asks when they find out somebody went to Vegas...."How much did you win?" I set a limit of $500 a day to play with. We ended up a little better off than when we started, and used some of the winnings to pay for most of our meals and some souvenirs, so we did OK. The entire trip ran about $2500. Was it worth it? Every penny. 
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You ever notice how ricer Hondas sound exactly like a Weedeater with a kazoo stuck up it's ass? A GPS for a woman would basically be a pretty box with a screen that says "You are here", and shows the entire universe revolving around her. |
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08-05-2006, 05:30 PM
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#3 |
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tits or gtfo
Join Date: Mar 2003
Member # 17904
Location: OKC
Posts: 1,885
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Hey!! What happens in Vegas................
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08-05-2006, 05:42 PM
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#4 |
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Registered User
Join Date: Nov 2001
Member # 8435
Location: East TN
Posts: 1,684
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Cool. I'll be in Vegas next month for a week. Thanks for the info.
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Jim O Rigless and beginning to miss it. |
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08-05-2006, 06:52 PM
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#5 |
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Registered User
Join Date: Sep 2002
Member # 13599
Location: on the move
Posts: 754
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this thread needs pics!!!!
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08-05-2006, 07:18 PM
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#6 |
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Registered User
Join Date: Dec 2000
Member # 2650
Location: Home is where the Marine Corps sends you,...right now, it's Kernersville, NC.
Posts: 2,237
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What I did on my summer vacation, Cheech and Chong style
 TEACHER: Thank you. Now class, Sister Rosetta has informed me that your assignment for the last two months has been to write an essay in titled How I Spent My Summer Vacation. Who would like to read theirs before the class? Class? Class!? Cla-- SHUT UP!!!!! Thank you. Young man in the first row, stand up, state your name, and read your essay. STUDENT: Who me? TEACHER: Yes. Read your essay, please! STUDENT: Uh, I don`t have it finished yet. STUDENT: Okay. The first day on my vacation, what I did on my summer vacation, the first day on my vacation, I woke up. Then, I went downtown to a quiet job. Then I hung out in front of the drugstore. The second day on my summer vacation, I woke up, then I went downtown to look for a job. Then I hung out in front of the drugstore. The third day on my summer vacation, I woke up... TEACHER: Now that`s fine, young man! STUDENT : ...Then I went downtown to look for a job... TEACHER: Now that`s fine, young man! STUDENT : ...Then I got a job, keeping people from here and out in front of the drugstore. The fourth day on my... TEACHER: Young man? Young man? Young man!? SHUT UP!!!!! Thank you. Now class, I have a surprise for you! I`m going to read you some poems out of this lovely book of poetry. The sun kisses the morning skies. The birds kiss the butterflies. The dew kisses the morning grass. Class? Class!? Cla-- WAKE UP!!!!! CHONG: I gotta go to the can, man!
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Nothing important |
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08-05-2006, 08:25 PM
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#8 | |
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Registered User
Join Date: Apr 2004
Member # 29071
Location: CO
Posts: 458
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Quote:
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08-05-2006, 09:29 PM
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#9 | |
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Registered User
Join Date: Sep 2005
Member # 54021
Location: Green Country
Posts: 446
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Quote:
 Haven't heard that in 15 years!!! I had that on LP dude. "joo bettr start up dis time or i cut off jour dingle balls!"
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08-05-2006, 09:58 PM
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#10 | |
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Girly Bender
Join Date: Sep 2000
Member # 1842
Location: In the wilderness!!
Posts: 19,833
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I'm not a bitch, I just play one in your life |
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08-05-2006, 11:02 PM
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#11 |
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Official Stalker
Join Date: Oct 2000
Member # 2059
Location: 8 Farts South of Bubba Ray
Posts: 10,644
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Hey!!!!
If you cannot go to Vegas and come back with Titty pics to post on PBB, then you are as good as band. Hell. even *I* posted Titty pics when I came back from Vegas. Hugely massive plump Nursing Tittys at that.
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08-06-2006, 04:07 PM
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#13 |
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Registered User
Join Date: May 2000
Member # 925
Location: sacto till ?
Posts: 6,712
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guy gives us a report on Vegas with no metion of Whores.
next year go to Detroit and dont bother metioning black people.
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The thick girls thread works for me because, now that im old, i need the large print version. |
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08-06-2006, 04:17 PM
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#14 | |
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Girly Bender
Join Date: Sep 2000
Member # 1842
Location: In the wilderness!!
Posts: 19,833
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Quote:
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I'm not a bitch, I just play one in your life |
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08-06-2006, 05:29 PM
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#15 | |
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Official Stalker
Join Date: Oct 2000
Member # 2059
Location: 8 Farts South of Bubba Ray
Posts: 10,644
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Meh... More interesting would be to go to Arizona and do a report on all of the hotties with PBB men who are either effeminate or just sexually inadequate.. I realize teh list would be short... I mean.. Xtina and NumberLetterChicky... But hey...
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08-06-2006, 07:10 PM
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#16 | ||
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Registered User
Join Date: Feb 2003
Member # 17351
Location: Texas
Posts: 111
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Quote:
Quote:
.
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You ever notice how ricer Hondas sound exactly like a Weedeater with a kazoo stuck up it's ass? A GPS for a woman would basically be a pretty box with a screen that says "You are here", and shows the entire universe revolving around her. Last edited by earlybroncoguy; 08-06-2006 at 07:11 PM. |
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08-07-2006, 07:40 AM
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#17 |
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Hungry!
Join Date: Aug 2001
Member # 6417
Posts: 1,798
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This thread without pics was almost as disappointing as seeing a guy named "earlybroncoguy" drive up in a late model GMC at
's house! Glad you had fun, even if you were too buys to get us pics.  
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Everything I type is good natured flaming in the name of fun, not mean spirited or vicious bullshit. Last edited by Dieselmh; 08-07-2006 at 07:40 AM. |
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08-07-2006, 08:03 AM
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#18 | |
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Official Stalker
Join Date: Oct 2000
Member # 2059
Location: 8 Farts South of Bubba Ray
Posts: 10,644
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Quote:
Agreed. So.. Here. Vegas Boobies.
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08-07-2006, 08:12 AM
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#19 |
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Registered User
Join Date: Feb 2003
Member # 17351
Location: Texas
Posts: 111
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Chister rocks!
Sorry, I have no pics of boobies. The casinos are pretty dark, and walking around taking flash pictures of boobies would probably have gotten me tossed PDQ. Diesel, you could probably make a killing in Vegas - just head up there with your trailer pit and show 'em what real BBQ is. They have no clue.
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You ever notice how ricer Hondas sound exactly like a Weedeater with a kazoo stuck up it's ass? A GPS for a woman would basically be a pretty box with a screen that says "You are here", and shows the entire universe revolving around her. |
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08-07-2006, 08:23 AM
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#20 | |
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Hungry!
Join Date: Aug 2001
Member # 6417
Posts: 1,798
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Yeah, but I don't think I have the people skills to deal with that many stupid people every day! Besides, if I did it every day, it wouldn't be fun anymore. Thanks for reminding me, I need to cook a few more birds this week, I'm almost out.
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Everything I type is good natured flaming in the name of fun, not mean spirited or vicious bullshit. |
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08-07-2006, 08:07 PM
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#21 |
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Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2005
Member # 40908
Posts: 0
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sadly, you are correct. There are only a couple "ok" Q places here. One of which is Lucilles near the Green Valley Ranch H&C in Henderson. A nice little jaunt from the strip, call a buddy or rent a car, the cab fare will slice and dice you.
as for what you DID do in vegas, why you being so quiet about THIS?  I have heard of these waterparks, but didn't know you were into the beasties... (warming up the chop cannon)
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Damn....that rattled my sphincter! Last edited by jayd4wg; 08-07-2006 at 08:10 PM. |
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08-07-2006, 09:36 PM
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#22 |
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2004
Member # 28318
Location: Nor-Cal
Posts: 414
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I haven't been to Vega$ in over a year and a half. That sucks!! I was hitting it almost twice a year for a while there.
GOOD TIMES!!
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1976 CJ-7---258 MPI, Borla header, flowmaster, NV 4500, D300 with 4 to 1 gears, 35" MTR's, D44's with 4.88's, ARB's, RE springs, SOA, high steer, OBA, Hydroboost brakes,......... 05 Super-Duty Powerstroke 4X4, CC, SB |
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08-07-2006, 10:48 PM
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#23 |
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Registered User
Join Date: Jun 2003
Member # 20168
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 108
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I am sitting in the Vegas airport now. The wife and I got married here 10 1/2 years ago and this is the first time we have been back. We had a great time. We stayed at the Luxor. It was ok, some of their resturants were closed and some of the pool areas were closed. We ate at Luxor buffet, Mandalay Bay buffet and Addadin Buffet. Mandalay was the only decent one. There was a burger joint called the "Burger Bar" that was really good. They have a couple of hot twins that wait tables there (sorry did not get any pics). The food and service was great. You can get half price same day tickets at the big Coke bottle building. We did this for "Crazy Girls." "Crazy Girls" was dissapointing. It is a topless varity show. I guess I prefer my strippers to be more slezy. We saw Kevin James (King of Queens guy) and he was damn funny. We did a ton of walking so I second "bring comfortable shoes" mantra.
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John http://www.myspace.com/tunafreedolphin |
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08-07-2006, 10:54 PM
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#24 | |
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H.A.N.U.
Join Date: Jun 2003
Member # 20631
Location: Las Vegas, Hell
Posts: 4,174
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Understate much? That shit is for people that live in a cave. You would have had a much better time at the OG, and wifey could have come along too. They have a male strip room, or she could just stay with you downstairs. Next time, eh?
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No sig for you! |
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08-07-2006, 11:03 PM
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#25 | |
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Registered User
Join Date: Jun 2003
Member # 20168
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 108
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LOL...yea, I don't understand how crazy girls has had such a long run. Next time I go to vegas I will let you know. We did go to one strip club on Freemont St (I don't remeber the name, I was pretty buzzed by then). It was much better, the girls were more interested in the wife than me. I guess that is why she is my better half. My wife and I both got lap dances.
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John http://www.myspace.com/tunafreedolphin |
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