Popping the Question..... SHOULD I ASK HER DAD ?

dr_claw · 09-27-2006, 10:55 AM

So i have been going out with this girl for 8 years. Yes. 8 years.

It is not that i have not wanted to ask her but it has been a money issue. We are happy and we both felt the cash for a ring would be better spent on 4x4's and saving for a house.

We have been living to gether for about a year and a half now. I just got a bonus at work and blew it on a ring already. XXXXXX (edited) for a .5 carat.

The Question..............

She is Italian. Like o'school, her dad will roll me up in a carpet and throw me off a bridge Italian. Like Italian that she has 200 cousins that all end in "ino" or "ia." Like Italian that when we went for dinner at her uncles house, half his basement is taken up by a pizza oven igloo thingy and there were 40 people there for a informal dinner.

Her closest cousin just had her wedding. It rang in at 80 k. There were 600 people on the guest list, with an open bar. Her brother is getting married next year and is planning similiar.

I don't have that kind of cash, so i was thinking that we were going to go to Vegas and get married by black elvis or something.

The problem.... her parents don't really care for me. I guess because I stole their daughter away and have been living in sin for over a year now.

Also, did i mention that I am not Italian and that is a good reason that they don't like me?

So, Should I ask her dad as a sign that I respect him and stuff? What if says no? Should I just tell him first instead of ask?

4in100 · 09-27-2006, 10:57 AM

You don't ask, you gonna be wearing concrete shoes

bbagwell · 09-27-2006, 10:57 AM

You should ask him as a sign of respect. He will have a lot more respect for you if you have the balls to ask him then if you just take off to Vegas. You don't want to wind up like Jimmy Hoffa do you?

#rawkon · 09-27-2006, 10:59 AM

Oh hell, ask him. he might say yes and and some respect to the way he feels toward you. if he says no, Tell him your gonna do it anyway. Its a real formality, but it might help the relationship between you and her dad. believe me if you get along with the family it is much easier to get along with her. Its worth a try

misterfubar · 09-27-2006, 11:01 AM

Just do it, they probably aren't ever going to be happy with you. If you ask and they say no, you would still marry her right?

If anything, I would just tell him that you are marrying his daughter, don't ask for his permission.

axisT6 · 09-27-2006, 11:02 AM

Ask Fawker!! If you love her, this will be an easy thing to do. It sounds like you are afraid of her family, but you will have to put that aside. Go to the doctor and get a perscription for some balls, and ask her father.

xj4life · 09-27-2006, 11:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bbagwell

You should ask him as a sign of respect. He will have a lot more respect for you if you have the balls to ask him then if you just take off to Vegas.

its the least you can do. if he already doesnt like you, just taking off will make things worse.

good luck. it took me two tries with my in-laws before i could finally get the words out of my mouth. it was harder to ask them than it was to ask my wife.

4in100 · 09-27-2006, 11:03 AM

He's probably just pissed that he's having to shell out so much for the honeymoons

Roxywheels · 09-27-2006, 11:03 AM

Ask him...NEVER disrespect the family!

Boheefus · 09-27-2006, 11:04 AM

I asked her Daddy, maybe it is a Southern thing, but I would not have dreamed of marrying her without her father's permission...I would have anyway, but if he had said no I would have done just about anything to obtain his blessing...

SeanP · 09-27-2006, 11:05 AM

you are asking for his blessing, not necessarily his permission. He knows damn well that his daughter is an adult and is going to do whatever she pleases. You asking for his blessing would be a huge sign of respect.

be prepared to answer the kids, money and religion question. Will you have kids? How will you support my daughter? and How will the children be raised? assuming you are marrying a catholic as italians (at least the part of the US where I came from) are big on that.

good luck!

surveyboy · 09-27-2006, 11:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bbagwell

.......you don't want to wind up like Jimmy Hoffa do you?

what living in the suburbs under an assumed identy??

??

threadkiller · 09-27-2006, 11:09 AM

Ask him. If he says no, kick him in the nuts. Then point at him and say "You never fuck with a Canadian!"

Boheefus · 09-27-2006, 11:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by threadkiller

Ask him. If he says no, kick him in the nuts. Then point at him and say "You never fuck with a Canadian EH!"

fixed it

jplive · 09-27-2006, 11:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SeanP

you are asking for his blessing, not necessarily his permission. He knows damn well that his daughter is an adult and is going to do whatever she pleases. You asking for his blessing would be a huge sign of respect.

good luck!

Exactly what I was gonna say. Just do it. I got engaged on the 12th of this month and asking her dad was no big deal at all. He said ok and started talking about something else.

Co Pilot · 09-27-2006, 11:22 AM

My family is as Italian as they come.. and Eric wasn't afraid to ask my dad.

Do it ya big puss!

Roc Doc · 09-27-2006, 11:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Co Pilot

My family is as Italian as they come.. and Eric wasn't afraid to ask my dad.

Yeah, but he's all tatted n' shit...not to mention the Bender posse factor.

Co Pilot · 09-27-2006, 11:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Roc Doc

Yeah, but he's all tatted n' shit...not to mention the Bender posse factor.

I think he only had 1 or two tats back then and the Benders weren't a part of our lives yet.

Roc Doc · 09-27-2006, 11:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Co Pilot

I think he only had 1 or two tats back then and the Benders weren't a part of our lives yet.

Yeah, I kinda figured that, but it's more funny to think about the 2006 MD model asking...especially if he had his RoxVegas hair on.

fledgling666 · 09-27-2006, 11:45 AM

yes, ask dad. i meant to, but he was out of town at the time, he didn't like that much.

Co Pilot · 09-27-2006, 11:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Roc Doc

Yeah, I kinda figured that, but it's more funny to think about the 2006 MD model asking...especially if he had his RoxVegas hair on.

he was always a punk rocker

... but Imma gonna take full awn credit

for the badass hawt look he has going on these days because if you saw pics of him with his ex-(stupid)wife.. you would NOT even recognize him!!

&

Roxywheels · 09-27-2006, 11:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Co Pilot

he was always a punk rocker

... but Imma gonna take full awn credit

for the badass hawt look he has going on these days because if you saw pics of him with his ex-(stupid)wife.. you would NOT even recognize him!!

&

Was he a tool???

Brandon · 09-27-2006, 12:05 PM

My father n law used to joke with me too much so I said screw that, I never asked him

As for money, it can be nice and cheap. Mine was in an outdoor garden and I ran my music off of my computer (mp3's) and I wouldn't have changed a thing. We hired a harpist for the actual ceremony but we did the rest. The engagement ring was actually the ring my dad gave my mom when they got engaged but I had it remade and reused the diamonds so she got an heirloom and I got off for about $200

Co Pilot · 09-27-2006, 12:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Roxywheels

Was he a tool???

You've seen the pic at my house that was hanging in the office, havent you?

The one of him and his dad & grandpa?

Blame Canada · 09-27-2006, 12:10 PM

Ask. I always wanted to. But my wife, was a widow, with her own kids. So, it was more appropriate for me to ask her kids than anything else.

And if her Dad doesn't care for you, going behind his back won't help the situation.

Man-up, and ask.

And the size of the wedding, is really up to you. Doesn't have to cost a thing, if you don't want it too.

09-27-2006, 10:55 AM	#1
dr_claw Registered User Join Date: Apr 2002 Member # 11222 Location: Vancouver, BC, CANADA EH! Posts: 711	Popping the Question..... SHOULD I ASK HER DAD ? So i have been going out with this girl for 8 years. Yes. 8 years. It is not that i have not wanted to ask her but it has been a money issue. We are happy and we both felt the cash for a ring would be better spent on 4x4's and saving for a house. We have been living to gether for about a year and a half now. I just got a bonus at work and blew it on a ring already. XXXXXX (edited) for a .5 carat. The Question.............. She is Italian. Like o'school, her dad will roll me up in a carpet and throw me off a bridge Italian. Like Italian that she has 200 cousins that all end in "ino" or "ia." Like Italian that when we went for dinner at her uncles house, half his basement is taken up by a pizza oven igloo thingy and there were 40 people there for a informal dinner. Her closest cousin just had her wedding. It rang in at 80 k. There were 600 people on the guest list, with an open bar. Her brother is getting married next year and is planning similiar. I don't have that kind of cash, so i was thinking that we were going to go to Vegas and get married by black elvis or something. The problem.... her parents don't really care for me. I guess because I stole their daughter away and have been living in sin for over a year now. Also, did i mention that I am not Italian and that is a good reason that they don't like me? So, Should I ask her dad as a sign that I respect him and stuff? What if says no? Should I just tell him first instead of ask? __________________ Quote: Originally Posted by 5thgear Or for $59 you could by 2 vibrators and hold them like handlebars Teaching Metalwork in Van City 88.5 Suzuki Samurai, Daily driver with locked toy axles. 77 FJ45 cut up with a bunch of misc crap Last edited by dr_claw; 09-28-2006 at 07:39 PM.

09-27-2006, 10:59 AM	#4
#rawkon Registered User Join Date: Aug 2006 Member # 78077 Posts: 326	Oh hell, ask him. he might say yes and and some respect to the way he feels toward you. if he says no, Tell him your gonna do it anyway. Its a real formality, but it might help the relationship between you and her dad. believe me if you get along with the family it is much easier to get along with her. Its worth a try __________________ Some people are like slinkies, basically useless, but fun to push down the stairs.

09-27-2006, 11:01 AM	#5
misterfubar Mazungo Join Date: Jan 2006 Member # 65026 Location: WIMY Posts: 1,866 Blog Entries: 1	Just do it, they probably aren't ever going to be happy with you. If you ask and they say no, you would still marry her right? If anything, I would just tell him that you are marrying his daughter, don't ask for his permission. __________________ I believe in making the world safe for our children, but not our children's children, because I don't think children should be having sex.

09-27-2006, 11:03 AM	#9
Roxywheels Girly Bender Join Date: Sep 2000 Member # 1842 Location: In the wilderness!! Posts: 19,833	Ask him...NEVER disrespect the family! __________________ I'm not a bitch, I just play one in your life

09-27-2006, 11:05 AM	#11
SeanP Registered User Join Date: Oct 2001 Member # 7354 Location: Rocklin, CA Posts: 2,203	you are asking for his blessing, not necessarily his permission. He knows damn well that his daughter is an adult and is going to do whatever she pleases. You asking for his blessing would be a huge sign of respect. be prepared to answer the kids, money and religion question. Will you have kids? How will you support my daughter? and How will the children be raised? assuming you are marrying a catholic as italians (at least the part of the US where I came from) are big on that. good luck! __________________ If you are not pissed off, you are not paying attention.

09-27-2006, 10:57 AM	#2
4in100 one dollarionaire Join Date: Aug 2005 Member # 51267 Location: Buford, GA Posts: 1,715	You don't ask, you gonna be wearing concrete shoes

09-27-2006, 10:57 AM	#3
bbagwell Granite Guru Join Date: Nov 2004 Member # 38118 Location: Salem, Oregon Posts: 624	You should ask him as a sign of respect. He will have a lot more respect for you if you have the balls to ask him then if you just take off to Vegas. You don't want to wind up like Jimmy Hoffa do you?

09-27-2006, 11:02 AM	#6
axisT6 Registered User Join Date: Aug 2004 Member # 34987 Location: Texas Posts: 453	Ask Fawker!! If you love her, this will be an easy thing to do. It sounds like you are afraid of her family, but you will have to put that aside. Go to the doctor and get a perscription for some balls, and ask her father.

09-27-2006, 11:09 AM	#13
threadkiller Wheeler Join Date: Mar 2004 Member # 28196 Location: Middle Tennessee Posts: 471	Ask him. If he says no, kick him in the nuts. Then point at him and say "You never fuck with a Canadian!"

09-27-2006, 11:22 AM	#16
Co Pilot Mustard Slurp'er Join Date: Mar 2002 Member # 10700 Location: 45 minutes from the lakebed. Posts: 3,906	My family is as Italian as they come.. and Eric wasn't afraid to ask my dad. Do it ya big puss! __________________ Butterfly Woodworks TinBenders.org "Momma's got a squeezebox, Daddy never sleeps at night"

09-27-2006, 11:45 AM	#20
fledgling666 Registered User Join Date: Apr 2002 Member # 11425 Location: sananto Posts: 1,364	yes, ask dad. i meant to, but he was out of town at the time, he didn't like that much. __________________ [I][SIZE="1"][COLOR="Silver"]"do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law"[/COLOR][/SIZE][/I]

09-27-2006, 12:05 PM	#23
Brandon Pirate4x4 Addict! Join Date: Mar 1975 Member # 6 Location: Sacramento, CA Posts: 13,196	My father n law used to joke with me too much so I said screw that, I never asked him As for money, it can be nice and cheap. Mine was in an outdoor garden and I ran my music off of my computer (mp3's) and I wouldn't have changed a thing. We hired a harpist for the actual ceremony but we did the rest. The engagement ring was actually the ring my dad gave my mom when they got engaged but I had it remade and reused the diamonds so she got an heirloom and I got off for about $200 __________________ This Space for rent!

09-27-2006, 12:10 PM	#25
Blame Canada Rock God Join Date: Jun 2001 Member # 5176 Location: Abbotsford, BC Posts: 1,141	Ask. I always wanted to. But my wife, was a widow, with her own kids. So, it was more appropriate for me to ask her kids than anything else. And if her Dad doesn't care for you, going behind his back won't help the situation. Man-up, and ask. And the size of the wedding, is really up to you. Doesn't have to cost a thing, if you don't want it too. __________________ I keep my post count low by posting in chit-chat. STOLEN!!! -->'80 CJ-7 w/ 258 I-6,T-176,D300, '94 YJ tub, '83 toy axles front & rear, Smirffield front axles, w/3.90's, 'YJ rears up front, and a bunch of home-grown patches, all sitting on BFG 35" MTs. Post #411

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