Wedding toast? WTF?

MattS · 10-31-2006, 04:03 PM

I have to give a toast? At my own wedding? WTF? I thought I got to make my best man do that shit.

Suggestions? I found this but it seems lame.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Toasting: Tips for the Groom's Toast
You're starting to feel it -- the terror that strikes every man who's ever taken the long walk down the aisle. We're not talking about the vows here -- we mean your toasts.

There may actually be two occasions on which you'll have to deliver your words of appreciation for all those who helped make the big day happen -- at the rehearsal dinner, and at the reception. First thing's first:

The Rehearsal Dinner

The rehearsal dinner is when all your out-of-state relatives and friends get together for food, drink, and to meet whichever half of the couple they don't already know. So what do you say to an assembled crowd when half the room has never met you before and the other half is busy sizing up your soon-to-be lawfully wedded wife? You start dishing out the compliments, of course.

From this point on, whenever you are called on to say a few words in reference to your wedding, always start out by saying how lucky you are to have met a woman like [fill in your bride's name here]. Of course you really mean it. Just don't forget to remind everybody else of that.

The next thing you want to do is thank all the out-of-town guests for going so far out of their way to watch you and your beloved take the plunge. This is a good time to throw in a couple of random anecdotes about Uncle Sid, who got you your first pair of roller-skates (remember, keep it general and clean -- you really don't want to get bogged down in the details here).

Finally, it's time to give your parents their due for putting on this lovely evening and doing everything they've done so well to support you over the years. If you feel like camping it up, walk over to Mom and give her a hug -- people gathered for sentimental occasions eat up this stuff.

If you follow this basic routine, you're sure to make it through the rehearsal dinner just fine.

The Reception

Next up: The wedding-reception toast. The difference between the rehearsal dinner and the reception is (a) you're actually married, and (b), her parents are probably footing most of the bill instead of yours. Your toast should be adjusted accordingly.

Again, it's always recommended that you begin any comment about your wedding with an enthusiastic reference to your bride. Actually, it's more than recommended -- let's face it, it's required. So, once you've reminded the crowd how much you love this woman, "the glowing light of your life" (it's impossible to be too sappy at this event, so go for broke), move directly to a few words regarding the evening's sponsors: your new in-laws.

There will be plenty of opportunities during the reception to crack a few of your classic one-liners -- this is not one of them. When referring to your newest "Mom" and "Dad," you must be a stranger to sarcasm, an alien to irony. With emotions running this high -- to say nothing of the caterer's bill -- you just can't risk a misunderstood attempt at humor. So play it safe and leave the wisecracking roast to your fraternity brothers.

Remember, you want to thank the in-laws for more than just the good food and great company. Their biggest gift to you is their daughter's hand in marriage. Let them know that if you had never met their daughter, you'd be a much poorer man.

You'll also want to give one last nod to your own dear mom and pop for all they've done for you over the years. This is, after all, a milestone moment in their lives, too. So raise your glass high, send a hearty toast in their general direction -- if you can manage a tear, that's a nice bonus but not required -- and then walk over to your wife and give her a big kiss. A good and tipsy crowd (or even a sober one) will love it.

Priest · 10-31-2006, 04:04 PM

I just thanked a few people blah, blah, blah....it' doesn't have to be a big deal.

IHC-6 · 10-31-2006, 04:05 PM

Groom's toast? This must be some plot pervaded by the parents of the bride to make you look like a dumb-ass or something.

The Best Man makes a toast, and you two are supposed to just stand there and smile.

Groom's toast...

Roxywheels · 10-31-2006, 04:07 PM

I talked, cried and laughed. So did Rose. I think Robert spoke, but I was too busy crying and laughing with Rose to pay attention

RSWORDS · 10-31-2006, 04:08 PM

DAMN IT!!! I get married Dec 9th and know one told me this crap either! Matt I say we start a new trend... No toasts... Just getting toasted...

Kim~ · 10-31-2006, 04:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Roxywheels

I talked, cried and laughed. So did Rose. I think Robert spoke, but I was too busy crying and laughing with Rose to pay attention

And my memory sucks hard, so I have no idea if Robert spoke....

I just remember you guys speaking (and crying

) the night before...

injectedEB · 10-31-2006, 04:09 PM

I gave a quick toast of sorts at the rehersal dinner, but that was it... then again - we weren't much of ones to be overly "traditional" with our wedding either.

ScottFJ40 · 10-31-2006, 04:16 PM

I'm glad we didn't have that crap back in 1995. I pee my pants when I'm nervous.

Amanda G · 10-31-2006, 04:20 PM

Speaking Tips

Face it: You'll be in the public eye throughout the celebrations. And never more so than when you're expected to offer a speech or to make a toast. Count on at least three such occasions: once at the bachelor's party, again at the rehearsal dinner, and once more at the reception. These tips will see you through all your speaking engagements!
Write down what you're going to say. It'll help organize your thoughts and make a great keepsake in the years to come.
Don't read! Memorize your speech or write bullet points onto note cards.
Practice what you want to say "out loud" a few times. It'll help you memorize your toast and give you an idea of its length.
Stick to a few main points.
Be brief! Two to five minutes is more than enough time to make your points.
Begin by saying what a lucky man you are!
Thank all the people involved in hosting or planning the event.
Speak slowly and be sure you are loud enough to be heard throughout the room. Use a microphone if necessary.
This is a celebration, so keep your comments light and positive.
Don't drink too much! You'll want to remember these events!
Thank all the guests for sharing in this exciting time.
Avoid mentioning people that the guests might not know or explain who they are.
Include humorous or touching memories.
End with a tribute to your new bride. Always a safe bet!

FatBob309 · 10-31-2006, 04:29 PM

Just stand up and say somethig. Thats all I ever do... Happy wife happy life happy husband who gives a fuck...

Muddin · 10-31-2006, 04:36 PM

Keep it short. Nobody likes a pussy full of air.

Amanda G · 10-31-2006, 04:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Muddin

Keep it short. Nobody likes a pussy full of air.

[what we hear]Quuuueeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeefffffffffffffff ff!!!![/what we hear]

:golfclap:

Muddin · 10-31-2006, 04:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Amanda G

[what we hear]Quuuueeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeefffffffffffffff ff!!!![/what we hear]

:golfclap:

coolcruiserfj40 · 10-31-2006, 04:47 PM

just say what ever comes from your heart

MattS · 10-31-2006, 05:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RSWORDS

DAMN IT!!! I get married Dec 9th and know one told me this crap either! Matt I say we start a new trend... No toasts... Just getting toasted...

Yeah, well at my brothers wedding he couldn't pick a best man because he didn't want to choose between his wife's brother and I. So he just didn't. 6 STIFF drinks into the night I get called upon to make a speech. I guess I did a great job and everyone loved me. But I don't remember any of it.

I guess that's one of the perks of being a nice drunk and not a mean one.

I'm not telling my brother (who IS my best man) that he's gonna need to give a speech. And I already have a few people lined up to feed drinks to him for the first 20 mins or so.

Payback is a bitch.

MattS · 10-31-2006, 05:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by coolcruiserfj40

just say what ever comes from your heart

I'm going to rent that shit tonight!

TiMe_1 · 10-31-2006, 05:29 PM

Im gettin married in June of next year, and im not lookin forward to any kind of toast!

Foolish · 10-31-2006, 05:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MattS

There will be plenty of opportunities during the reception to crack a few of your classic one-liners -- this is not one of them. When referring to your newest "Mom" and "Dad," you must be a stranger to sarcasm, an alien to irony. With emotions running this high -- to say nothing of the caterer's bill -- you just can't risk a misunderstood attempt at humor. So play it safe and leave the wisecracking roast to your fraternity brothers.

The writer of this jibberish is a bigger pussy than you!

mike · 10-31-2006, 05:34 PM

City hall, $40... 1 witness... beers afterwards.. just as legal... no lameassed toasts

DavidVanVorous · 10-31-2006, 05:37 PM

I didnt do one at either of my weddings, however the best man at my 1st pulled a fast one and did a monotonic drone for a few minutes ending with the remark "...and may all your children be born naked" which sort of caught everyone by surprise...

D.

moveaside · 10-31-2006, 06:13 PM

Get really drunk and apologize for sleeping with the grooms new bride just an hour ago in the bathroom that will go well with the relatives

YotaRedneckGirl · 10-31-2006, 08:07 PM

I was the Maid of Honor at my sisters wedding in September, she let me know WELL ahead of time that I was to give a speech. I really did plan on writing it out and giving one that would make her proud...

But true to my form, I procrastinated... until the best man got handed the mic and I started grabbing any wine glass or beer bottle around me and trying to think of just what the hell I was going to say.

I had a few ideas from random memories, but I just went with it and frantically looked around the room for inspiration and went back to the wine glass. I honestly don't remember what I said, guess I need to watch the video, but people were laughing and crying and after people were telling me that I need to go in to public speaking. Really wish I could remember what I said....

I recommend sticking to booze.

spencurai · 10-31-2006, 08:11 PM

"TO EVIL!"

The only true toast.

whistle pig · 10-31-2006, 08:16 PM

You got to put your foot down before you get married and say you are not giving a toast! Otherwise, she will know you are a pussy...

ROCK HUGGER · 10-31-2006, 08:27 PM

Fawk it, don't get married it aint worth it.

I'm glad my wife doesn't read the board

10-31-2006, 04:03 PM	#1
MattS Pirate4x4 Addict! Join Date: Mar 2000 Member # 386 Location: Omaha, NE USA Posts: 13,994	Wedding toast? WTF? I have to give a toast? At my own wedding? WTF? I thought I got to make my best man do that shit. Suggestions? I found this but it seems lame. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Toasting: Tips for the Groom's Toast You're starting to feel it -- the terror that strikes every man who's ever taken the long walk down the aisle. We're not talking about the vows here -- we mean your toasts. There may actually be two occasions on which you'll have to deliver your words of appreciation for all those who helped make the big day happen -- at the rehearsal dinner, and at the reception. First thing's first: The Rehearsal Dinner The rehearsal dinner is when all your out-of-state relatives and friends get together for food, drink, and to meet whichever half of the couple they don't already know. So what do you say to an assembled crowd when half the room has never met you before and the other half is busy sizing up your soon-to-be lawfully wedded wife? You start dishing out the compliments, of course. From this point on, whenever you are called on to say a few words in reference to your wedding, always start out by saying how lucky you are to have met a woman like [fill in your bride's name here]. Of course you really mean it. Just don't forget to remind everybody else of that. The next thing you want to do is thank all the out-of-town guests for going so far out of their way to watch you and your beloved take the plunge. This is a good time to throw in a couple of random anecdotes about Uncle Sid, who got you your first pair of roller-skates (remember, keep it general and clean -- you really don't want to get bogged down in the details here). Finally, it's time to give your parents their due for putting on this lovely evening and doing everything they've done so well to support you over the years. If you feel like camping it up, walk over to Mom and give her a hug -- people gathered for sentimental occasions eat up this stuff. If you follow this basic routine, you're sure to make it through the rehearsal dinner just fine. The Reception Next up: The wedding-reception toast. The difference between the rehearsal dinner and the reception is (a) you're actually married, and (b), her parents are probably footing most of the bill instead of yours. Your toast should be adjusted accordingly. Again, it's always recommended that you begin any comment about your wedding with an enthusiastic reference to your bride. Actually, it's more than recommended -- let's face it, it's required. So, once you've reminded the crowd how much you love this woman, "the glowing light of your life" (it's impossible to be too sappy at this event, so go for broke), move directly to a few words regarding the evening's sponsors: your new in-laws. There will be plenty of opportunities during the reception to crack a few of your classic one-liners -- this is not one of them. When referring to your newest "Mom" and "Dad," you must be a stranger to sarcasm, an alien to irony. With emotions running this high -- to say nothing of the caterer's bill -- you just can't risk a misunderstood attempt at humor. So play it safe and leave the wisecracking roast to your fraternity brothers. Remember, you want to thank the in-laws for more than just the good food and great company. Their biggest gift to you is their daughter's hand in marriage. Let them know that if you had never met their daughter, you'd be a much poorer man. You'll also want to give one last nod to your own dear mom and pop for all they've done for you over the years. This is, after all, a milestone moment in their lives, too. So raise your glass high, send a hearty toast in their general direction -- if you can manage a tear, that's a nice bonus but not required -- and then walk over to your wife and give her a big kiss. A good and tipsy crowd (or even a sober one) will love it.

10-31-2006, 04:04 PM	#2
Priest Zeus of the Sluice Join Date: Nov 2000 Member # 2175 Location: Canton (Ohio not China) Posts: 4,037	I just thanked a few people blah, blah, blah....it' doesn't have to be a big deal. __________________ Knowledge without mileage equals bullshit Wing Zombie Facebook

10-31-2006, 04:05 PM	#3
IHC-6 Registered User Join Date: Apr 2004 Member # 29271 Location: Oregon Posts: 260	Groom's toast? This must be some plot pervaded by the parents of the bride to make you look like a dumb-ass or something. The Best Man makes a toast, and you two are supposed to just stand there and smile. Groom's toast... __________________ Nurse, I have a pain....

10-31-2006, 04:07 PM	#4
Roxywheels Girly Bender Join Date: Sep 2000 Member # 1842 Location: In the wilderness!! Posts: 19,833	I talked, cried and laughed. So did Rose. I think Robert spoke, but I was too busy crying and laughing with Rose to pay attention __________________ I'm not a bitch, I just play one in your life

10-31-2006, 04:08 PM	#5
RSWORDS Registered User Join Date: Jun 2005 Member # 49595 Posts: 701	DAMN IT!!! I get married Dec 9th and know one told me this crap either! Matt I say we start a new trend... No toasts... Just getting toasted... Last edited by RSWORDS; 10-31-2006 at 04:09 PM.

10-31-2006, 04:09 PM	#7
injectedEB Registered User Join Date: Apr 2001 Member # 3959 Location: ~Denver, Colorado Posts: 554	I gave a quick toast of sorts at the rehersal dinner, but that was it... then again - we weren't much of ones to be overly "traditional" with our wedding either. __________________ -Ben '74 Bronco - some assembly required... one of these years I'll drive it again..... When did common sense become uncommon?

10-31-2006, 04:16 PM	#8
ScottFJ40 Zeus of the Sluice Join Date: Apr 2002 Member # 11268 Location: Planet Earth Posts: 2,916	I'm glad we didn't have that crap back in 1995. I pee my pants when I'm nervous. __________________ "What do you mean, I ain't kind? I'm just not your kind." Help Mason! Help Zach and Alec!

10-31-2006, 04:20 PM	#9
Amanda G Registered User Join Date: Jul 2001 Member # 5663 Location: Woodland, CA Posts: 5,571	Speaking Tips Face it: You'll be in the public eye throughout the celebrations. And never more so than when you're expected to offer a speech or to make a toast. Count on at least three such occasions: once at the bachelor's party, again at the rehearsal dinner, and once more at the reception. These tips will see you through all your speaking engagements! Write down what you're going to say. It'll help organize your thoughts and make a great keepsake in the years to come. Don't read! Memorize your speech or write bullet points onto note cards. Practice what you want to say "out loud" a few times. It'll help you memorize your toast and give you an idea of its length. Stick to a few main points. Be brief! Two to five minutes is more than enough time to make your points. Begin by saying what a lucky man you are! Thank all the people involved in hosting or planning the event. Speak slowly and be sure you are loud enough to be heard throughout the room. Use a microphone if necessary. This is a celebration, so keep your comments light and positive. Don't drink too much! You'll want to remember these events! Thank all the guests for sharing in this exciting time. Avoid mentioning people that the guests might not know or explain who they are. Include humorous or touching memories. End with a tribute to your new bride. Always a safe bet! __________________ Well I've never been to Spain, but I kinda like the music.

10-31-2006, 04:29 PM	#10
FatBob309 Registered User Join Date: Jul 2002 Member # 12716 Location: Phoenix Posts: 55	Just stand up and say somethig. Thats all I ever do... Happy wife happy life happy husband who gives a fuck... __________________ Fat Bob This is more fun than seeing a clown car burn.

10-31-2006, 04:47 PM	#14
coolcruiserfj40 Registered User Join Date: Dec 2004 Member # 40057 Location: sunland ca Posts: 2,387	just say what ever comes from your heart __________________ Me have A.D.D

10-31-2006, 05:29 PM	#17
TiMe_1 Registered User Join Date: Feb 2006 Member # 68458 Location: Fresno/Clovis CA Posts: 382	Im gettin married in June of next year, and im not lookin forward to any kind of toast!

10-31-2006, 05:34 PM	#19
mike Registered User Join Date: Feb 2000 Member # 144 Location: Northern Mexico... er.. AriDzona Posts: 6,851	City hall, $40... 1 witness... beers afterwards.. just as legal... no lameassed toasts __________________ That's because you're a pinko fascist. - Haole I know what antidisestablishmentarianist means

10-31-2006, 05:37 PM	#20
DavidVanVorous Curmudgeon Join Date: Oct 2004 Member # 36733 Location: Bozeman MT Posts: 1,369	I didnt do one at either of my weddings, however the best man at my 1st pulled a fast one and did a monotonic drone for a few minutes ending with the remark "...and may all your children be born naked" which sort of caught everyone by surprise... D. __________________ The biggest proponent for fly fishing is the worm. P.F. McManus Last edited by DavidVanVorous; 10-31-2006 at 05:38 PM.

10-31-2006, 06:13 PM	#21
moveaside Registered User Join Date: May 2002 Member # 11983 Location: Cordelia, CA Posts: 2,696	Get really drunk and apologize for sleeping with the grooms new bride just an hour ago in the bathroom that will go well with the relatives __________________ I'll kick the shit out of you if I find you throwing trash out on the trail! My crappy build [url]http://www.pirate4x4.com/forum/showthread.php?t=587635[/url]

10-31-2006, 08:07 PM	#22
YotaRedneckGirl Registered User Join Date: Oct 2003 Member # 23716 Location: Iowa? Posts: 241	I was the Maid of Honor at my sisters wedding in September, she let me know WELL ahead of time that I was to give a speech. I really did plan on writing it out and giving one that would make her proud... But true to my form, I procrastinated... until the best man got handed the mic and I started grabbing any wine glass or beer bottle around me and trying to think of just what the hell I was going to say. I had a few ideas from random memories, but I just went with it and frantically looked around the room for inspiration and went back to the wine glass. I honestly don't remember what I said, guess I need to watch the video, but people were laughing and crying and after people were telling me that I need to go in to public speaking. Really wish I could remember what I said.... I recommend sticking to booze. __________________ Lara ~ #398 & #101 ~

10-31-2006, 08:11 PM	#23
spencurai Registered User Join Date: Oct 2001 Member # 7882 Location: we am spase peepole Posts: 1,556	"TO EVIL!" The only true toast.

10-31-2006, 08:16 PM	#24
whistle pig Registered User Join Date: Feb 2005 Member # 43727 Posts: 512	You got to put your foot down before you get married and say you are not giving a toast! Otherwise, she will know you are a pussy...

10-31-2006, 08:27 PM	#25
ROCK HUGGER Registered User Join Date: Apr 2001 Member # 4329 Location: Jackson CA Posts: 2,191	Fawk it, don't get married it aint worth it. I'm glad my wife doesn't read the board

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode