Wedding usher reneged because his kids can't attend wedding

Earl43P · 07-19-2007, 09:43 AM

I'll try to keep this short....

Close (adult, successful professional) cousin of groom agreed to stand up for (my stepson's) wedding. Months pass. Invitations go out, and it becomes an issue with some of the extended family that kids are not invited. Most of them "deal with it" in the expected ways.

This cousin lives 2 hrs. away from the wedding site, is married with two small girls. He and his wife claim "they can't find a sitter", so they will not attend, and he will not "be able" to stand up as an usher.

Groom to-be's feelings are hurt and he cries to his mother. A couple weeks go by with various meddlers lobbying to convince the the groom to cave and let kids attend. He stands fast.

He graciously accepted the cousin's apology (by phone call), didn't make a fuss, and found another usher.

Wedding is Labor Day weekend, invitations went out in May.

Who thinks this cousin is an asshat for reneging?

Who thinks the couple is full of shit for "not being able to find a sitter" with more than TWO MONTHS' notice? Oh, and the MIL "will be at the beach" that weekend, so she "can't watch the girls" either.

The height of irony is that when this cousin married, kids weren't invited to his wedding. He feigned surprise and acted all butt-hurt that he couldn't bring his kids when the invitation arrived.

I think the cousin's wife should've sucked it up and stayed home with the kids and that the cousin should have honored his commitment.

What does the PBB say?

(I intend to print this out and give it to the PW'd reneger, so flame on!)

Phonedoc · 07-19-2007, 09:45 AM

You're DRM's cousin?

Sue · 07-19-2007, 09:45 AM

ummmm, is this person DRM????

Joe_W · 07-19-2007, 09:46 AM

y'all are too damn fast

longwell789 · 07-19-2007, 09:47 AM

You will here this several times but its different when you have kids, if he didnt have them when he was married and now does shits different now.

However if it was stated in the begining that no kids etc., then he is a ass for atleast not saying his mind right of the get go.

DRM · 07-19-2007, 09:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phonedoc

You're DRM's cousin?

lol

Search - my thread covered this topic pretty much from top to bottom. If not, reference Hef's thread and you'd get it from left to right

Phonedoc · 07-19-2007, 09:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Joe_W

y'all are too damn fast

DRM · 07-19-2007, 09:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Earl43P

Who thinks this cousin is an asshat for reneging?

I think YOU are the asshat for making a big deal of it.

The cousin called and stated his position, then called again and apologized personally to the groom.
The groom is ok with it, and as moved on.

So what is your problem? Sounds like you just want to cause problems

woooody · 07-19-2007, 10:05 AM

My wife is a wedding/event manager -- Her solution to the "no kids" clause when it becomes an issue is to suggest to the bride/groom to set up a daycare area, in an adjoining hall/building/room -- Hire a couple of day care providers, set up a little meal/cake for the kids, and everyone is happy. It really doesn't cost that much, and provides an out for those that can't get (or don't want) a sitter

criscfer · 07-19-2007, 10:11 AM

He was asked to be an usher, it's not like he's the best man backing out.

GloNDark · 07-19-2007, 10:13 AM

Why the fawk would they say "No kids"??

I know that for the most part, if my son is not invited to something, We don't go. Not because we don't want too, or can't find a sitter. But as a family we are very close and enjoy being with each other.

94stepsideford · 07-19-2007, 10:14 AM

Sounds like your just trying to start shit. This isn't YOUR wedding. Its HIS. HE (the groom) is okay with the issue (and has moved on) therefore you need to shut your trap.

shopteach · 07-19-2007, 10:22 AM

a wedding creates a family. kids are part of a family. WTF is the big deal? somebody has some fairytale idea about a wedding? biggest 1 day waste of money event ever

ecrist · 07-19-2007, 10:30 AM

I wouldn't attend a wedding unless my kids could come with me. Its a fucking WEDDING...hello? Family and all that shit.
But, in my family and circle of friends it just wouldn't happen since I tend to not have friends with shitty attitudes like that.

mike · 07-19-2007, 10:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by criscfer

He was asked to be an usher, it's not like he's the best man backing out.

I'd back out in the wedding party too.

sharpie1k · 07-19-2007, 10:37 AM

I still can't figure out why you wouldn't want kids at a wedding....that's why they made the 'ringbearer' and 'flower girl' duties....

Travis Waldher · 07-19-2007, 10:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Earl43P

The height of irony is that when this cousin married, kids weren't invited to his wedding.

This is the only reason I think he's a hypocritical shithead.

I would have felt different if he allowed kids to his wedding. A wedding is concidered a family event in our area, kids have been invited to every wedding I can think of. If I was invited to a wedding event within the family and kids were excluded I would not attend and let them know why with no apologies and leave it at that. But I can't think of anyone that would have the gall to say "Travis you and your wife are invited, but not your kids".

There are times when I can see kids not being invited to a reception or after party, but not the wedding itself.

But you are pretty childish yourself. It's one thing to come here and bitch about it. It's another to do so with the intent of printing it out and sending it to the affect part(ies).

Whitewater · 07-19-2007, 10:43 AM

I had some loosely related cousins not attend my wedding because one of them couldnl't bring her kids. I'm not taking offense but they were just guests and not part of the ceremony. It would probably be a different story if that was the case.
It was stand up that he called and said he couldn't do it but it sounds like he had plenty of time to make arrangements around this obstical but didn't put the effort into it because it wasn't important enough to him.

Travis Waldher · 07-19-2007, 10:44 AM

But did you specifically exclude kids from your wedding.

Not being able to bring kids for other reasons is a different problem.

CronusTRD · 07-19-2007, 10:46 AM

Invitations are not command appearances. They don't have to show up if they don't want to. I had no kids at my wedding reception. Some people bitched and moaned, but we told them up front, if they can't make it, it's not that big a deal. Bottom line: They don't HAVE to come.

Earl43P · 07-19-2007, 11:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by woooody

My wife is a wedding/event manager -- Her solution to the "no kids" clause when it becomes an issue is to suggest to the bride/groom to set up a daycare area, in an adjoining hall/building/room -- Hire a couple of day care providers, set up a little meal/cake for the kids, and everyone is happy. It really doesn't cost that much, and provides an out for those that can't get (or don't want) a sitter

Good solution.

Quote:

Originally Posted by DRM

I think YOU are the asshat for making a big deal of it.

The cousin called and stated his position, then called again and apologized personally to the groom.
The groom is ok with it, and as moved on.

So what is your problem? Sounds like you just want to cause problems

My wife agrees with you. I'll keep my trap shut, but I think he's spineless for backing out.

I knew that comment about showing him this thread was gonna stir up some shit. Though I seriously considered doing it, I won't.
It'd be way too indicative of my own meddling.

Schly · 07-19-2007, 11:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by longwell789

You will here this several times but its different when you have kids, if he didnt have them when he was married and now does shits different now.

However if it was stated in the begining that no kids etc., then he is a ass for atleast not saying his mind right of the get go.

It's not different now that he has kids. I hate that excuse. He's an assbag for not following through on his commitment.

HighToy · 07-19-2007, 11:36 AM

I have kids. If I could not find someone to watch them I would say I couldn't come. My boys come before anything else.

Whether some of you want to believe it or not priorities change when kids are involved. Those that don't think so either don't have kids or probably shouldn't be a parent.

In fact we're going to a "no kids" wedding this weekend but it doesn't apply to us because my oldest (4) is the ring bearer and it's in LA. Otherwise I would have just mailed a gift.

yes.. I am flying with a 4yr old, a 2yr old and a 9 month old. I feel sorry for the other passengers.

actionpaintball · 07-19-2007, 11:40 AM

Here is your problem:

07-19-2007, 11:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DRM

I think YOU are the asshat for making a big deal of it.

The cousin called and stated his position, then called again and apologized personally to the groom.
The groom is ok with it, and as moved on.

So what is your problem? Sounds like you just want to cause problems

DINGDINGDING!

07-19-2007, 09:43 AM	#1
Earl43P Registered User Join Date: Jan 2007 Member # 84579 Posts: 1	Wedding usher reneged because his kids can't attend wedding I'll try to keep this short.... Close (adult, successful professional) cousin of groom agreed to stand up for (my stepson's) wedding. Months pass. Invitations go out, and it becomes an issue with some of the extended family that kids are not invited. Most of them "deal with it" in the expected ways. This cousin lives 2 hrs. away from the wedding site, is married with two small girls. He and his wife claim "they can't find a sitter", so they will not attend, and he will not "be able" to stand up as an usher. Groom to-be's feelings are hurt and he cries to his mother. A couple weeks go by with various meddlers lobbying to convince the the groom to cave and let kids attend. He stands fast. He graciously accepted the cousin's apology (by phone call), didn't make a fuss, and found another usher. Wedding is Labor Day weekend, invitations went out in May. Who thinks this cousin is an asshat for reneging? Who thinks the couple is full of shit for "not being able to find a sitter" with more than TWO MONTHS' notice? Oh, and the MIL "will be at the beach" that weekend, so she "can't watch the girls" either. The height of irony is that when this cousin married, kids weren't invited to his wedding. He feigned surprise and acted all butt-hurt that he couldn't bring his kids when the invitation arrived. I think the cousin's wife should've sucked it up and stayed home with the kids and that the cousin should have honored his commitment. What does the PBB say? (I intend to print this out and give it to the PW'd reneger, so flame on!)

07-19-2007, 09:45 AM	#2
Phonedoc Registered User Join Date: Sep 2004 Member # 35320 Location: Hartsburg MO Posts: 117	You're DRM's cousin? __________________ To judge from the pride on the Confederate side, I'd say 500,000 rebels can't be wrong.

07-19-2007, 09:47 AM	#5
longwell789 Registered User Join Date: Feb 2006 Member # 67866 Location: southeast ohio 740! Posts: 135	You will here this several times but its different when you have kids, if he didnt have them when he was married and now does shits different now. However if it was stated in the begining that no kids etc., then he is a ass for atleast not saying his mind right of the get go. __________________ Interested in chevy quad cab.

07-19-2007, 10:05 AM	#9
woooody Registered User Join Date: Jun 2000 Member # 1200 Location: Vallejo, Ca Posts: 951	My wife is a wedding/event manager -- Her solution to the "no kids" clause when it becomes an issue is to suggest to the bride/groom to set up a daycare area, in an adjoining hall/building/room -- Hire a couple of day care providers, set up a little meal/cake for the kids, and everyone is happy. It really doesn't cost that much, and provides an out for those that can't get (or don't want) a sitter __________________ Ross Woody Vallejo, Ca TLCA #7704 72 FJ40 * "Mudrak Improved"® 07 TRD FJC

07-19-2007, 10:11 AM	#10
criscfer Long Horn Join Date: Nov 2001 Member # 8448 Location: 10aC Posts: 402	He was asked to be an usher, it's not like he's the best man backing out. __________________ Bad decisions make good stories.

07-19-2007, 09:45 AM	#3
Sue Registered User Join Date: Sep 2002 Member # 13743 Location: Houston Posts: 118	ummmm, is this person DRM????

07-19-2007, 10:13 AM	#11
GloNDark Pirate4x4 Addict! Join Date: Dec 2000 Member # 2482 Location: Gardnerville, NV Posts: 11,106	Why the fawk would they say "No kids"?? I know that for the most part, if my son is not invited to something, We don't go. Not because we don't want too, or can't find a sitter. But as a family we are very close and enjoy being with each other. __________________ GET IT Dave!! save me a spot bro......i'll miss you...

07-19-2007, 10:14 AM	#12
94stepsideford Registered User Join Date: Oct 2004 Member # 36399 Location: Hinesburg, VT Posts: 3,181	Sounds like your just trying to start shit. This isn't YOUR wedding. Its HIS. HE (the groom) is okay with the issue (and has moved on) therefore you need to shut your trap. __________________ 94 F-150 Stepside. BGTL 12" lift, 1-tons, 39" 'roks 95 F-150 6" of lift, SAS 35" BFG's

07-19-2007, 10:22 AM	#13
shopteach Rock God Join Date: Sep 2005 Member # 54135 Location: salem oh Posts: 1,015	a wedding creates a family. kids are part of a family. WTF is the big deal? somebody has some fairytale idea about a wedding? biggest 1 day waste of money event ever __________________ WWW.SCHOOLJEEP.COM http://www.pirate4x4.com/forum/showthread.php?t=397140

07-19-2007, 10:30 AM	#14
ecrist Registered User Join Date: Jul 2002 Member # 12578 Location: Sun City, AZ Posts: 573	I wouldn't attend a wedding unless my kids could come with me. Its a fucking WEDDING...hello? Family and all that shit. But, in my family and circle of friends it just wouldn't happen since I tend to not have friends with shitty attitudes like that. __________________ Eric / `--'> < [] []////////\|:::} \_.--.> "I want to depart this world the same way I arrived; screaming and covered in someone else's blood"

07-19-2007, 10:37 AM	#16
sharpie1k Registered User Join Date: Jan 2007 Member # 85319 Location: Davis, CA Posts: 96	I still can't figure out why you wouldn't want kids at a wedding....that's why they made the 'ringbearer' and 'flower girl' duties.... __________________ 98 XJ/30/44 with discs/32 bighorns/some armor and other goodies.

07-19-2007, 10:43 AM	#18
Whitewater Registered User Join Date: Feb 2000 Member # 89 Location: ElDoCo Posts: 3,641	I had some loosely related cousins not attend my wedding because one of them couldnl't bring her kids. I'm not taking offense but they were just guests and not part of the ceremony. It would probably be a different story if that was the case. It was stand up that he called and said he couldn't do it but it sounds like he had plenty of time to make arrangements around this obstical but didn't put the effort into it because it wasn't important enough to him. __________________ The task is not so much to see what no one yet has seen, but to think what nobody yet has thought about that which everybody sees. Arthur Schopenhauer.

07-19-2007, 10:44 AM	#19
Travis Waldher Registered User Join Date: May 2001 Member # 4878 Location: Bremerton, WA Posts: 6,358	But did you specifically exclude kids from your wedding. Not being able to bring kids for other reasons is a different problem.

07-19-2007, 11:36 AM	#23
HighToy Registered User Join Date: Oct 2000 Member # 1983 Location: Rio Linda, CA Posts: 1,568	I have kids. If I could not find someone to watch them I would say I couldn't come. My boys come before anything else. Whether some of you want to believe it or not priorities change when kids are involved. Those that don't think so either don't have kids or probably shouldn't be a parent. In fact we're going to a "no kids" wedding this weekend but it doesn't apply to us because my oldest (4) is the ring bearer and it's in LA. Otherwise I would have just mailed a gift. yes.. I am flying with a 4yr old, a 2yr old and a 9 month old. I feel sorry for the other passengers. __________________ Ryan #354 #113 The Original Techno Hick. Last edited by HighToy; 07-19-2007 at 11:39 AM.

07-19-2007, 11:40 AM	#24
actionpaintball Dabbler Join Date: Apr 2004 Member # 29562 Location: Hayes Va 23072 Posts: 1,158	Here is your problem:

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