suprising fart post

Boheefus · 09-04-2007, 07:20 AM

as in, big suprise, Heefus is gonna tell us about his ass...

Saturday night my wife had some friends over to the house for a pre-going out to the bar party. She had spent all day Friday redoing our living room upstirs, and was especially happy about it.

Now would be a good time to tell you about my new medication and diet plan. I went from Welchol to Crestor for cholesterol control, and an onna super high fiber diet. Now, normally fiber farts are nice and loud, with little to no amusing odor. Wellll....something about the combonation of the crestor, high fiber, fish oils, and metamucil tabs really does not agree with my lower backend parts. My farts have never smelled so....evil, I really can't describe it. I fluffed the blankets the other night and almost passed out.

So, I am in the front room, watching TV, pleasantly buzzed, ripping hot breathers left and right. In walks the wife with friends in tow to show off the new arrangement. I hear her talking about how she steam cleaned the whole room, dusted every nook and cranny, etc. (she is a cleaning machine, my polar opposite), then I hear her peter off, with a horrified look on her face. They all blanch and almost gag...that's when I get the look...what the fuck is that smell?? they demand. With a huge grin, I claim my mark on society, and away they run to the safety of the back porch.

My wife later told me that she was actually embarrased by it all...not the fact that I shit myself, or that the maisma of death hanging about the room was created by yours truly...but rather that she thought that the smell was the room itself for a second, and was horrified

smokeeater · 09-04-2007, 07:47 AM

gotmuddy · 09-04-2007, 08:56 AM

JeepJerrySeinfeld · 09-04-2007, 09:43 AM

You come through yet again heef...... Nice Work

Proeliator · 09-04-2007, 09:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Boheefus

as in, big suprise, Heefus is gonna tell us about his ass...:

Your fetish with discussing your ass with us has led to one unfortunate conclusion:

Blame Canada · 09-04-2007, 10:31 AM

That's my house every day.

I rule the stink!

My wife is unhappy with my ass gas skillz at this point.

PAToyota · 09-04-2007, 10:31 AM

Think about hiring yourself out for extermination duties?

Camarogenius · 09-04-2007, 10:46 AM

I wish I could clear the room like that... I'm the master of the obnoxiously loude echoing thunderer, but alas, no happy ending. I get the look for the sound, but there's no attached smell.
Mrs. Camarogenius on the other hand, can produce a blast of ass that would knock a buzzard off a gutwagon.
She ripped one under the covers one evening. I went for the "dutch oven", and she blocked it, causing the blankets to act as a billows, blowing every last molecule of awful right up my nose. I rolled out of bed gagging. I think we should sell it to the gov't for use as a chemical weapon.
My wife's ass would slaughter heef's if they fought.
My wife's ass is alot prettier to look at, but it's Jonestown waiting for a place to happen.

Proeliator · 09-04-2007, 10:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Camarogenius

My wife's ass would slaughter heef's if they fought.

Sounds like a deathmatch needs to be scheduled....in da ThunderdownunderDome!

Two asses enter, one ass leaves!

But it begs the question, would the winner be declared MasterBlaster

Camarogenius · 09-04-2007, 12:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Proeliator

Sounds like a deathmatch needs to be scheduled....in da ThunderdownunderDome!

Two asses enter, one ass leaves!

But it begs the question, would the winner be declared MasterBlaster

Looks like we have a contest!! Who should be the judge? Each will fart in a mayo jar, and ship it to the judging member. Shall we award extra points for the best glitterbomb?
Who to judge?
Paz?
Haole?
Bennzo?
Piggy?
No, not piggy. He'd get all happy sniffing my wife's ass, and even happier over Heef's.
Fullygruntled? he's a scientologist.(intentional use of the word for the grammar nazis)

kneedownnate · 09-05-2007, 02:34 PM

nearly had me in tears!

72blazer · 09-05-2007, 02:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Boheefus

I claim my mark on society

Schly · 09-05-2007, 03:03 PM

I finally actually laughed out loud at a Bo-He fart story.

KiGrind · 09-05-2007, 03:10 PM

For some reason I go to work, and shit my brains out, and pass gas in the office all damn day.

Come home. Nothing. Days off. Nothing.

.....

TEX · 09-05-2007, 03:14 PM

I confess - made me smile

yotaboyz · 09-05-2007, 03:24 PM

That is great.
There is nothing better than evacuating people with the air that comes out of your butt.

PRICELESS

Yota Up · 09-05-2007, 03:56 PM

You should give your ass a wipe with that nasty bandana on your head. WTF is up with that piece of gayness anyway?

Camarogenius · 09-05-2007, 04:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Yota Up

You should give your ass a wipe with that nasty bandana on your head. WTF is up with that piece of gayness anyway?

Why do you think he wears it? It's a scent dispenser!!!

Just funnin' at ya heef!

usmcdoc14 · 09-05-2007, 04:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Yota Up

You should give your ass a wipe with that nasty bandana on your head. WTF is up with that piece of gayness anyway?

JParuBob · 09-05-2007, 04:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by usmcdoc14

And it's not a bandanna, either.

Camarogenius · 09-05-2007, 04:38 PM

So, Why is Heef playing the Bandjo?

lttlbddy · 09-05-2007, 04:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Camarogenius

So, Why is Heef playing the Bandjo?

He posted a 35% link with no warning. Whoops!

Ragged_ol_86 · 09-05-2007, 06:22 PM

Well fuck that sux. How long is his vacation?

09-04-2007, 07:47 AM	#2
smokeeater Registered User Join Date: Oct 2005 Member # 55473 Location: W. STL - wishin' I was back in Lubbock, TEXAS Posts: 76	__________________ Happiness is Lubbock Texas growing nearer and nearer - Mac Davis

09-04-2007, 09:43 AM	#4
JeepJerrySeinfeld Registered User Join Date: Jul 2005 Member # 49828 Location: citrus heights Posts: 192	You come through yet again heef...... Nice Work __________________ Rest my Beautiful son Braeden your dad will always miss and love you.

09-04-2007, 10:31 AM	#6
Blame Canada Rock God Join Date: Jun 2001 Member # 5176 Location: Abbotsford, BC Posts: 1,141	That's my house every day. I rule the stink! My wife is unhappy with my ass gas skillz at this point. __________________ I keep my post count low by posting in chit-chat. STOLEN!!! -->'80 CJ-7 w/ 258 I-6,T-176,D300, '94 YJ tub, '83 toy axles front & rear, Smirffield front axles, w/3.90's, 'YJ rears up front, and a bunch of home-grown patches, all sitting on BFG 35" MTs. Post #411

09-04-2007, 10:31 AM	#7
PAToyota Zeus of the Sluice Join Date: Oct 2004 Member # 37600 Location: South Central Pennsylvania Posts: 3,134	Think about hiring yourself out for extermination duties? __________________ GET INVOLVED - Join the Blue Ribbon Coalition '93 Chevrolet 6.5TD 2500 NV4500 4x4 Std. Cab Longbed 146K '85 Toyota 22R RN60 4x4 Std. Cab Shortbed 178K (Currently retired for rebuild)

09-04-2007, 10:46 AM	#8
Camarogenius SECEDE! Join Date: Jun 2005 Member # 49232 Location: Gilmer, TX Posts: 1,165	I wish I could clear the room like that... I'm the master of the obnoxiously loude echoing thunderer, but alas, no happy ending. I get the look for the sound, but there's no attached smell. Mrs. Camarogenius on the other hand, can produce a blast of ass that would knock a buzzard off a gutwagon. She ripped one under the covers one evening. I went for the "dutch oven", and she blocked it, causing the blankets to act as a billows, blowing every last molecule of awful right up my nose. I rolled out of bed gagging. I think we should sell it to the gov't for use as a chemical weapon. My wife's ass would slaughter heef's if they fought. My wife's ass is alot prettier to look at, but it's Jonestown waiting for a place to happen. __________________ www.texassecessionistparty.org The U.S. Government is starting to look alot like George Orwell and Ayn Rand had a love child. If you feel the need to bury them, It's a good sign that it's time to use them.

09-05-2007, 02:34 PM	#11
kneedownnate Granite Guru Join Date: Jan 2006 Member # 64490 Location: sticksville baby, I mean way back in! Posts: 510	nearly had me in tears!

09-05-2007, 03:03 PM	#13
Schly Jesus rode dinosaurs Join Date: Jan 2001 Member # 2741 Location: Santa Rosa, CA Posts: 1,724	I finally actually laughed out loud at a Bo-He fart story. __________________ "The Constitution is not an instrument for the government to restrain the people, it is an instrument for the people to restrain the government." -- Patrick Henry

09-05-2007, 03:10 PM	#14
KiGrind Registered User Join Date: Feb 2006 Member # 66647 Location: Knoxville, TN Posts: 1,330	For some reason I go to work, and shit my brains out, and pass gas in the office all damn day. Come home. Nothing. Days off. Nothing. .....

09-05-2007, 03:14 PM	#15
TEX Registered User Join Date: Apr 2000 Member # 603 Location: Missouri, USA Posts: 11,731	I confess - made me smile __________________ www.gumbo4x4.com Thanks to: www.heiseroil.com Extreme Performance www.kmelectronics.com Bear Creek Auto Recyclers www.svrehorsepower.com

09-05-2007, 03:24 PM	#16
yotaboyz Registered User Join Date: Sep 2004 Member # 35837 Location: Columbia, TN Posts: 188	That is great. There is nothing better than evacuating people with the air that comes out of your butt. PRICELESS __________________ [QUOTE=corkey;6564156]Well what I'm wanting to do is lift my jeep up about 3.5 or 4 inches. I was wondering if anyone has ever used pressure treated lumber. Any suggestion on this would be appreciated. :jeep:[/QUOTE]

09-05-2007, 03:56 PM	#17
Yota Up Pro-Rocks Join Date: Nov 2005 Member # 57128 Posts: 795	You should give your ass a wipe with that nasty bandana on your head. WTF is up with that piece of gayness anyway? __________________ "Every fight is a food fight to a cannibal."

09-05-2007, 04:38 PM	#21
Camarogenius SECEDE! Join Date: Jun 2005 Member # 49232 Location: Gilmer, TX Posts: 1,165	So, Why is Heef playing the Bandjo? __________________ www.texassecessionistparty.org The U.S. Government is starting to look alot like George Orwell and Ayn Rand had a love child. If you feel the need to bury them, It's a good sign that it's time to use them.

09-05-2007, 06:22 PM	#23
Ragged_ol_86 Registered User Join Date: Nov 2005 Member # 57423 Location: Somewhere between Illusion and Denial.... Posts: 229	Well fuck that sux. How long is his vacation? __________________ Josh 86 Bronco XLT [URL="http://www.myspace.com/Ragged_ol_86"][COLOR="Red"][B]Myspace[/B][/COLOR][/URL] [QUOTE=trampas;8493788]i'm not gonna open this thread anymore you fawkin nutjob motherfawkers :flipoff2:[/QUOTE] [QUOTE=CrustyJeep;7248978] "Drink bleach and deep throat a garden weasel."[/QUOTE]

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