Originally Posted by RaginCaucasian
Yes but no. It depends on the day and the time. If there's a chance that I get bored, all I can think about is drinking. I'm sick of feeling like shit though. I wish I could find a balance and be able to not crave it, or drink 12 when I just try to have 1 or 2.
In the meantime, I'm going to give this a try. I thank you all, for giving an outside unbiased perspective. I'm going to cancel going to KOH, and still take part of the week off from work to work on my garage. This way I can get my buggy back home. I'll be less likely to drink if I'm at home rather than at my shop. I'm also going to hand over my personal debit cards to my wife to hold for a while. I think this will help keep me from buying alcohol so easily. Only account I will be able to spend from is our joint accounts, and any cash that I may have, but I rarely carry cash. Hopefully this also gives me motivation to see how much money I save.
Does it pain you to see your wife so upset? you do realize that she's in pain over fucking beer right?
I've always partied. part of my job is to throw parties. i go to festivals and have parties on the company dime. I've never felt that i NEEDED to drink, but i liked drinking. i could go days, weeks without drinking and it wouldn't be a big deal to me.
my big problem is that i have one drinking speed. I normally drink about 3-4 beers an hour. not a big deal if i'm only hanging out for an hour, but if i'm hanging out 5-6 hours at a time i got drunk. i never get hangovers so that wasn't a deterrent. I did often black out and then i'd get my foul mouth from New Jersey back and was funny/rude. finally, in December we went out for my birthday and i blacked out. the next day i didn't remember anything and my wife was pretty upset. i was a bit of dick, but most of all, she worries that i'll die in my sleep because i go out and drink so much at one time. she's especially worried when i'm on a trip and she's not there.
After thinking about it a bit and seeing her hurt so bad i knew i needed to change. No reason the love of my life should be that angry/upset/worried over some fucking beer. i decided that day that i am going to go through one season of my traveling (about 9 months) without drinking. It's a bit extreme, and my wife says i'm crazy for doing it, but until i learn to have just a few beers i'm not drinking any. i can't see her in that pain.