Originally Posted by H8DWINGS
I wasn't prioritizing it over my wife's well being. I've passed out on the couch maybe once a month. Possibly twice. It's been infrequent, in my opinion, because I'm in training mode. My son is 8 months old as a point of reference so it's a while away before he starts seeing me passed out and possibly longer until he starts remembering it. I don't think I had a problem because I could wake up and go to work the next day. I have shown up pretty sore from the day before and let that be a lesson a few times but it's never been an issue at work. Similar to what you're saying you did. I know she's told me she can't talk to me when I'm drinking and I've forgotten conversations we have had that I was coherent for. Just chalked it up to "wasn't important enough" the next morning.
I know there is nothing in my life that will suffer from quitting. I might miss drinking a beer or two because I liked having a variety of beers. I enjoyed doing well after a marathon and getting a beer. I even enjoyed being buzzed or drunk. Yeah I noticed this morning it was a little easier to wake up and run. I've always noticed that. My wife has always said I can quit for as long as I want. 30 days. 90 days. No question about me sticking with the plan of "no drinking for ---- days." It's when I start back up and go straight to a 6 pack of 7% beer. I don't think "well then think of it as "10 days" or "1,000 days" would really work as a goal. I know its a life change. I know it's easy to say no to a beer and I don't get pressured.
I guess one thing I'm a little "afraid" of is answering the "why don't you drink anymore? You use to love beer." because "I'm training/we're dieting" only last so long. I've also asked many people why they don't drink. I guess "I just stopped enjoying it" works. Yeah I know it's none of their business why I don't drink. My brother in law quit drinking because it was also ruining his marriage (from what I'm told) and I know part of me needing to quit is my wife being sober for 18+ months and not enjoying being around people drinking. I trust myself to be able to go to a bar and not drink. I trust myself to set a personal record I can tell people. I just feel like people always think negative thoughts about people who previously drank and now don't.
Oh and I had "recovering alcoholic" for some reason. How long do you have to recover until you're not? Are you allowed to have A beer/shot/glass of wine and not be an alcoholic? Is there some other title/label you can put on it such as "previous drinker" or "alcohol free" or something?
You've put a lot out there in your last post, that's commendable. I'm not sure exactly how to respond, but if a friend or family member expressed to me the same sentiments that you have I would strongly encourage them to get sober and stay that way. You are fortunate to be grappling with this -before- you really fuck something up. You are a long way away from rock-bottom, my advice would be to quit while you're ahead.
I label myself a recovering alchoholic bc it is what it is. Alchoholism is a chronic condition with no cure but it can certainly be mitigated and managed through abstinence. I will never not be an alchoholic, but sobriety allows me to live my life free from it's shackles. Mind you, bad shit still happens but I'm able to deal with it much more proactively when I'm not drunk all the damn time, or passed out, or hung over.
I had candid conversations with my close family and friends, admitted that I was struggling and needed to make some changes. I have yet to encounter anybody that can't respect my desire to make a positive change in my life, and if/when I do they can fuck right off. "I don't drink" or "I'm not drinking today" are how I respond when offered, no judgment or superiority on my end just the truth.