Originally Posted by H8DWINGS
I figured the best way to get whatever it is I need is to tell a bunch of strangers on the internet my story.
Thats a good impulse, I really hamstrung my own sobriety by not talking about it. I tried AA and while I did learn a lot and gain perspective from it, it was not for me. I won't knock it because it has and does help people to change their lives, but it was not for me. I've found the subreddit r/stopdrinking to be immensely helpful. It serves, for me, the same function as attending meetings does for AA members; an opportunity to share and discuss and get support from people that understand what you are going through, or to just listen to the experiences of others and to learn from that. I encourage you to check that out, post if you feel comfortable doing so, but even if you just want to lurk and read I guarantee you will find something there you can relate to and hopefully gain something positive from. Good luck, I hope you're able to find something that works for you!