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Yellow star - buy my stuff

6K views 39 replies 35 participants last post by  Fudpucker 
#1 · (Edited)
  • Percentage of positive posts congratulating me on building a unique vehicle whilst I had never seen an actual TT or ULTRA 4 vehicle when we started the build 12 years ago - 30.2%
  • Percentage of positive posts about our new products/innovations and general nice communication between members and users - 19.1%
  • Percentage of complaints/bitching to other members/yellow star comments/attacking my engineering/attacking other members/one upping others/incorrect engineering & product information and incorrect product suitability being provided to other members/users that have absolutely no engineering knowledge, creating poor products and blasting false information to other users/ego wars/posts about general unhappiness of some users - 50.7%

Hmmm.. I did think long and hard about purchasing purchasing yet another star, (yes a yellow one this time - my mistake, I purchased the wrong one) and i must admit, after all the crap that goes on in this forum, there are some really nice users and obviously a lot of good positive knowledge sharing going on.

After reviewing the nice comments and positive energy, and ignoring the silly ones I decided to purchase a yellow star.

I have paid for my yellow star however I assume it takes a bit of time to process, but I wanted to immediately take this opportunity to use my new yellow star vendor status to generate some immediate sales - see my latest products below:

Section Ring Gears

How many times have you had to change a complete ring gear simply because one or two teeth are broken. Well, we have the solution.... Proformane Motorsport (Insert Yellow Star here..) have developed a range of Diff Gears that are bolted into the diff in multiple sections. If you chip a tooth, dont replace the whole gear, just unbolt the damaged section and replace it. Our ring gears are split into 7 individual sections with multiple bolt holes staggered at 21.17 degrees to allow 7 sections to be easily divided into the typical 10 or 12 ring gear bolt holes. Our one size fits all ring gear sections can be fitted to D44, D60, D70, 9" and the 10" TT Pumpkins by adding or subtracting more sections. For a D44, simply bolt in 4 sections, for a D70, you will need to purchase a few extra sections because the D70 is of course much bigger:



Proformance Low Friction CV Joints

Proformance Are proud to release our new Low Friction, Self Power Perpetual Motion Cv Joints. These CV joints are made of a revolutionary new material, UNOBTANIUM and are heat treated to 187 Rockwell and they PRODUCE free Horsepower. As the CV material is so very hard, we had to import special moon surface grade diamond cutting tips to machine the necessary flux accellerator grains/grooves in the ball grooves (No, the deep scratches/gouges are not caused by poor machining as many assume, they are indeed there for a reason). Unique features include a complete mismatch between the radius of the ball and the radius of the groove (Again, i know many of you would assume this to simple be a massive machining error, but again this is done for an important reason) which provides very low friction and up to an additional 450 horse power to your vehicle without upgrading your engine. How you ask? well let me explain - as soon as you assemble the CV joints you will notice that the Unobtanium material is highly magnetic and because we have fitted Rheotanium Balls (which we all know has the exact opposite magnetic polarity, well only 178 degrees opposition, but close to being perfectly magnetically polar opposite ) the CV joints produces a self propelled, perpetual motion. When the CV joint is operated at angles above 35 degrees when your truck is at ride height, blasting along at >200MPH (The speeds users claim and after looking the huge ride height angles of operation on many buggies this seems to be quite common in off road racing - yes??) the magnetic propulsion created by the balls passing over the flux accellerator grooves (not just poor machining remember) , coupled by the air gap between the ball and groove (again - not terrible machining) is incredible.

Be warned, you will need quite a few lads to help stop the wheel from spinning at high speed when you are assembling the joint. The joints are perfectly safe when stationary, but do not let the wheel start rotating when you have the vehicle suspended on the hoist,because the Rotational Horespower is very dangerous and is multiplied by the inverse of the galactic gravitational reaction force of the day you are using the joint. Another warning, if you assemble the joint backwards (We have all done that and ended up with no plunge), the joint could explode causing serious bodily injury or possible death (If you ever make this mistake, you can calculate the explosion delay time by CV Diameter (mm) x Room Temperature (Degrees K) x CV width (Thousands of an inch) divided by the inverse of the Air Gap contact point in Radians, but if your maths are not that fast, just throw the joint as far as you can and contact me to purchase a new one. If you want the ultimate CV joint, Up to 450HP additional power (Even more if you run then in the Tailshaft also) and you are willing to accept the risks, then buy them today!!!






High Traction Tyres:

We all know that deflating your tyres provides more wheel traction, so Proformance Motorsport (Insert Yellow Star here...) have released our brand new ultimate traction tyre. We have made this new tyre with vertical strips to allow for ultimate sidewall flex and traction. As they do not have air, the pressure differential on the outside of the tyre and the inside is equal and they are therefore suitable for use on the moon and will operate in areas of high altitude with no pressure variations:


Place your orders NOW!!!



looking forward to my star!!!




Disclaimer for the other "50%": This post is actually a joke, the products posted above do not actually exist, the materials mentioned are not commercially available (We have access to them, but we are restricted by the federal government and intergallactic star federation from selling Unobtanium, Rheotanium and Dark Matter to the public), the products shown and described above are not for sale and the post was intended as a bit of fun only.
 
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#31 ·
  • Percentage of positive posts congratulating me on building a unique vehicle ... - 30.2%
  • Percentage of positive posts about our new products/innovations and general nice communication between members and users - 19.1%
  • Percentage of complaints/bitching to other members...users that have absolutely no engineering knowledge, creating poor products and blasting false information to other users/ego wars/posts about general unhappiness of some users - 50.7%
If you performed the same analysis for the entire Pirate BB, you would see that the percentages are highly in your favor and completely out of the norm.:laughing::laughing::laughing:

Usually:
  • Percentage of positive posts - 10%
  • Percentage of nice communication between members and users - (-50%) Any postives are offset by the magnitude of the assholes
  • Percentage of complaints/bitching to other members...users that have absolutely no engineering knowledge, creating poor products and blasting false information to other users/ego wars/posts about general unhappiness of some users - 90%
 
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