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Old 01-10-2017, 08:33 PM   #801 (permalink)
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Stopped at the gas station tonight. The female cashier had a half pint of vodka, in her hand and a tin of grizzly pouches before I even got to the counter.

Fuck.

(I only buy a half pint because I have an addictive personality and if I buy more I will drink it, so I try an limit myself. Im also 6'2" and 160 lbs soaking wet, so you would be surprised how far that little amount goes....)


Im 25, and I bet I have not drank a total of 10 days in the last 4 years. Generally a half pint before bed.
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Old 01-10-2017, 09:50 PM   #802 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by JR View Post
Yeah, when I wrote that I couldn't remember exactly how it was told to me but knew someone would jump in to correct it.
The point is when a person stops drinking, his body misses the sugar (correction, not everybody ). How insulin plays a role in this really wasn't the point and I shouldn't have even mentioned it.
Not all rehabs are the same but a lot nowadays require strict sugar free diets while in treatment.

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Originally Posted by Deuling View Post
Stopped at the gas station tonight. The female cashier had a half pint of vodka, in her hand and a tin of grizzly pouches before I even got to the counter.

Fuck.

(I only buy a half pint because I have an addictive personality and if I buy more I will drink it, so I try an limit myself. Im also 6'2" and 160 lbs soaking wet, so you would be surprised how far that little amount goes....)


Im 25, and I bet I have not drank a total of 10 days in the last 4 years. Generally a half pint before bed.
After I left my ex and moved I stopped going to my nightly arabmart on the way home to my old house. I literally didn't go there for 6 months and had stopped drinking at that point. Came in on my way out of town to grab a Gatorade one day and before I made it to the counter homeboy had a pint of Jerry and a pack of 99s on the counter. When I said "No thanks, I quit drinking" he looked me up and down and said "Yeah, I can see that."
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Old 01-11-2017, 07:31 AM   #803 (permalink)
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First off, some people can gain control of drinking after realizing they have a problem. Many more cannot. Based on what you have provided here, it seems pretty clear you have a problem and you acknowledge it. People that don't have a problem, don't have to fight an urge to drink even when they don't want to.

Second, have you been honest with your doctor about your alcohol consumption? I lied straight up to my doctors for years. I have a heavy scientific background, so with the exception of my personal doctor who knows this, I was actually able to manipulate doctors into thinking I was suffering from other issues that weren't related to my excessive alcohol consumption, when they really were. Because I knew if I was honest, they would tell me I have to quit. Gout and excessive alcohol consumption are definitely correlated. Food for thought.

As for getting hungry when quitting, yes. You pointed it out yourself. Heavy drinkers obtain most of their daily caloric intake from alcohol. Instead of that extra 1200+ calories a day, there is suddenly a void. I was super hungry for weeks after quitting, but my diet/hunger has since normalized out. That is likely what causes the hunger spike.

I relapsed 4 times in the last 7 months, each time was only a handful of days before I straightened out again. However, prior to this, I was drinking anywhere from a pint to a fifth of rum every day (depending on if it was a worknight or a weekend) for probably a year straight.

By cutting alcohol, hopping on the keto diet (mostly eat meat and veggies), and doing ZERO exercise, I lost 52 lbs in six months. I am still overweight, but I can jog up flights of stairs that used to wind me just walking.

Lastly, you have to do this for yourself first. Anyone or anything else is secondary. I quit for someone else and that someone eventually decided I wasn't an alcoholic and I could drink. Because I was quitting for her, it was no trouble to go right back to it. And guess what, she became an alcoholic too in the process.

Trying to quit for someone else never works in my own experience, and that of others I know.

If you really want it, its all on you. And we in this thread are here to help with the process if that is what you really want. But you are taking the steps in the right direction.
I'll be honest, I've lied to my Dr. for a long time. I've always been more scared to be labeled as an alcoholic than anything. For the first year of having gout, I definitely downplayed the amount that I'd drink, and claimed I just wasn't eating well, exercising, or drinking water. Only in the past couple years have I been getting on a more honest path. Depression is something that a lot of people in my family suffer from, and I finally realized that I was using alcohol to medicate myself. I was one to just disappear by myself to the garage and drink myself into a stupor. Only to come in later that night and pass out of the couch. To the point that my wife couldn't even wake me up.

I do wish that I would have taken this to an appropriate Dr. rather than my general practitioner though. Now when ever I go in for a simple cold, or injury, I am treated as a junkie, and questioned like one too. They will not prescribe me any type of pain killers or even simple cough syrups. I do understand where they are coming from, but I've never abused anything in my life besides beer.

I appreciate that this thread exists and that there are all of these people in here willing to provide support. I peeked my head in once or twice, but have honestly avoided it for a long time. I hope that I can continue to hold myself responsible and check in from time to time. I'm going to have some very difficult trials in the months to come. One is traveling for work, and the other is a week at KOH with my friends that like to drink. They have gotten a lot better over the years out there with how serious the race program has progressed to, but the nights when no one is working will be difficult.

Thank you

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If you read back, the Gout was the main reason I had to evaluate things. That shit hurts!
It is one of the worst pains I have experienced, and that even includes degloving my thumb in a 12" disc sander. I have been stubborn/stupid though, and have continued to drink beer even with the mulitiple extreme flare ups.

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Old 01-11-2017, 08:19 AM   #804 (permalink)
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First off, some people can gain control of drinking after realizing they have a problem. Many more cannot. Based on what you have provided here, it seems pretty clear you have a problem and you acknowledge it. People that don't have a problem, don't have to fight an urge to drink even when they don't want to.

Second, have you been honest with your doctor about your alcohol consumption? I lied straight up to my doctors for years. I have a heavy scientific background, so with the exception of my personal doctor who knows this, I was actually able to manipulate doctors into thinking I was suffering from other issues that weren't related to my excessive alcohol consumption, when they really were. Because I knew if I was honest, they would tell me I have to quit. Gout and excessive alcohol consumption are definitely correlated. Food for thought.

As for getting hungry when quitting, yes. You pointed it out yourself. Heavy drinkers obtain most of their daily caloric intake from alcohol. Instead of that extra 1200+ calories a day, there is suddenly a void. I was super hungry for weeks after quitting, but my diet/hunger has since normalized out. That is likely what causes the hunger spike.

I relapsed 4 times in the last 7 months, each time was only a handful of days before I straightened out again. However, prior to this, I was drinking anywhere from a pint to a fifth of rum every day (depending on if it was a worknight or a weekend) for probably a year straight.

By cutting alcohol, hopping on the keto diet (mostly eat meat and veggies), and doing ZERO exercise, I lost 52 lbs in six months. I am still overweight, but I can jog up flights of stairs that used to wind me just walking.

Lastly, you have to do this for yourself first. Anyone or anything else is secondary. I quit for someone else and that someone eventually decided I wasn't an alcoholic and I could drink. Because I was quitting for her, it was no trouble to go right back to it. And guess what, she became an alcoholic too in the process.

Trying to quit for someone else never works in my own experience, and that of others I know.

If you really want it, its all on you. And we in this thread are here to help with the process if that is what you really want. But you are taking the steps in the right direction.
Thank for this. It's much appreciated.

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I read where alcohol has been known to cause cancer in any part of the body. Also, alcohol kills testosterone, which if you're a man you need for good health and metabolism among other things.

Alcoholic drinks have a lot of sugar which converts to insulin. When you stop drinking, you crave sugar and food because you miss the insulin. That's why AA meetings have a lot of cookies and stuff.

If you're trying to stop, my advice is don't get hung up on weight gain or what you eat. One thing at a time. Also, don't stop smoking (if you smoke) or get in or out of relationships for a year or so. Keep everything else in your life consistent.

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Sorry, but as a diabetic, I must correct this statement. Sugar does not convert to insulin. The body produces insulin to break down the sugar/carbs that you intake to make energy. Your body does not crave insulin. Your body creates insulin as a reaction to sugar. In a healthy human, the pancreas does this as needed.

I don't know anything about craving sugar and food when one quits drinking, so I can't speak to that.

The more you know!
It's true that beer (and booze) are eventually processed, as complex sugars. The biochemistry on this is well known. Your body/brain *will* scream for more when you cut it off.

Alcoholics eat poorly. Usually. When cutting yourself off there's an adjustment period (which is short, believe it or not). The rest is biochemistry (your body) trying to figure out how to adjust.

In the short term, like the first week or two, take some Glutamine. You can find it in the vitamin section. It really, really helps at the body level for the alcohol/sugar cravings.

Load up on multi B vitamins too.

The rest is behavior adjustment.

.

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Old 01-21-2017, 08:21 PM   #805 (permalink)
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Well guys, I fucked up. A couple days before my birthday I drank. And on my birthday, I was so drunk I ate a tv dinner that has peanuts in it. I am allergic to peanuts. I could barely eat half of it before the reaction hit me like a train.

I haven't had a reaction since I was 3 or 4. I thought I had built immunity, it happens. Nope. After puking up everything, and dry heaving, I came to the living room and collapsed. My celiac reactions (got the shit end of the evolutionary stick) are nothing compared to this. My heart felt like it was going to burst out of my chest, I couldn't breath, my entire body turned bright pink and broke out in hives, and the mental confusion/malaise was so bad I forget where I keep my epipen. I keep my epipen in my backpack. I have my entire life.

My folks thought I was havin a stroke. I collapsed on the floor and had no idea what was happening. I don't really remember much. I didn't know who I was when I got in the ambulance. More like I was so confused and in such agonoy I couldn't come up with words.

It was horrible. And it wouldn't have happened if I wasn't drunk. Had my parents not been here, I'm not sure I could have even described what I was experiencing to the dispatch. I lived, obviously. But now my last experience drinking is almost dying. Had the meat wagon not gotten here in record time I don't know what would have happened. But I get to remember my last drinking experience as almost killing me. This was the worst experience I have ever had medically. I would not wish this reaction on anyone. Being trapped in your own head and unable to articulate is terrifying. On top of all the other shit.

So today is day two. I don't know why I did it. I didn't call anyone. And withdrawls, hangovers, broken bones, surgeries, etc, NOTHING was as terrifying and painful as full blown anaphalaxis.

And if you carry an epipen, be aware you might not be able to administer it yourself, depending on how bad your reaction is. One thing I have learned is food allergies/autoimmune disorders affect each person differently. My cousin goes into anaphalaxis from wheat. I just puke and get hives, lasts maybe 24 hours.

Thursday I was flopping like a fish. I know now what this is like, I don't remember it as a kid. I downplayed it my whole life and got careless.

Thankful to be alive. My parents saved my life, I owe them sobriety now more so than ever.
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Old 01-21-2017, 08:33 PM   #806 (permalink)
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Old 01-21-2017, 09:08 PM   #807 (permalink)
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Old 01-21-2017, 10:45 PM   #808 (permalink)
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Old 02-01-2017, 11:51 AM   #809 (permalink)
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Well I slipped up again on Sunday night. Decided to head down to my friends shop to hear the new KOH car fire for the first time. I decided to sit back and watch as there were already so many hands involved, and as a result decided to knock back a few beers. Told the wife I'd be home early, but that ended up being around 12 A.M. when I rolled through the door. I knew she was pissed, so I went straight to the couch. Apparently, I was snoring so loud she had to come out and smack me, and as a result I lost my shit. I don't remember most of it, but I said some really bad stuff telling her I hate her, she makes me miserable, and plus some. She left for work in the morning and left me some notes in big black print to wake up to, quoting the things I said to her.

Now I'm faced with a hard choice. I have planned to leave for KOH on Saturday riding in a friends truck. My friends have paid money for me to be there to work in their pits, a place in the RV, food and other expenses. I called and explained to them that Hammers may not be the best place for me since I know it will be a week of drinking. They understand, but still encourage me to go. My wife obviously wants be to stay home and not put myself in that situation, but tells me that this is my decision alone to stay or go. She is not happy.....I don't know why I'm torn on this decision. Part of me feels that it is just the drunk inside of me knowing that if I go I will be able to drink. Maybe I need some "Pirate Advice."

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Old 02-01-2017, 12:04 PM   #810 (permalink)
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Do you love your wife?
Choose between fucking up your relationship further, and going racing, and probably being a drunk idiot, or staying home, working on repairing your relationship, and not being a drunk.

It's not a hard choice from here, and you already know why you're arguing with yourself.
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Old 02-01-2017, 12:06 PM   #811 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by RaginCaucasian View Post
I'll be honest, I've lied to my Dr. for a long time. I've always been more scared to be labeled as an alcoholic than anything. For the first year of having gout, I definitely downplayed the amount that I'd drink, and claimed I just wasn't eating well, exercising, or drinking water. Only in the past couple years have I been getting on a more honest path. Depression is something that a lot of people in my family suffer from, and I finally realized that I was using alcohol to medicate myself. I was one to just disappear by myself to the garage and drink myself into a stupor. Only to come in later that night and pass out of the couch. To the point that my wife couldn't even wake me up.

I do wish that I would have taken this to an appropriate Dr. rather than my general practitioner though. Now when ever I go in for a simple cold, or injury, I am treated as a junkie, and questioned like one too. They will not prescribe me any type of pain killers or even simple cough syrups. I do understand where they are coming from, but I've never abused anything in my life besides beer.

I appreciate that this thread exists and that there are all of these people in here willing to provide support. I peeked my head in once or twice, but have honestly avoided it for a long time. I hope that I can continue to hold myself responsible and check in from time to time. I'm going to have some very difficult trials in the months to come. One is traveling for work, and the other is a week at KOH with my friends that like to drink. They have gotten a lot better over the years out there with how serious the race program has progressed to, but the nights when no one is working will be difficult.

Thank you



It is one of the worst pains I have experienced, and that even includes degloving my thumb in a 12" disc sander. I have been stubborn/stupid though, and have continued to drink beer even with the mulitiple extreme flare ups.
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Well I slipped up again on Sunday night. Decided to head down to my friends shop to hear the new KOH car fire for the first time. I decided to sit back and watch as there were already so many hands involved, and as a result decided to knock back a few beers. Told the wife I'd be home early, but that ended up being around 12 A.M. when I rolled through the door. I knew she was pissed, so I went straight to the couch. Apparently, I was snoring so loud she had to come out and smack me, and as a result I lost my shit. I don't remember most of it, but I said some really bad stuff telling her I hate her, she makes me miserable, and plus some. She left for work in the morning and left me some notes in big black print to wake up to, quoting the things I said to her.

Now I'm faced with a hard choice. I have planned to leave for KOH on Saturday riding in a friends truck. My friends have paid money for me to be there to work in their pits, a place in the RV, food and other expenses. I called and explained to them that Hammers may not be the best place for me since I know it will be a week of drinking. They understand, but still encourage me to go. My wife obviously wants be to stay home and not put myself in that situation, but tells me that this is my decision alone to stay or go. She is not happy.....I don't know why I'm torn on this decision. Part of me feels that it is just the drunk inside of me knowing that if I go I will be able to drink. Maybe I need some "Pirate Advice."
Three weeks between these posts. Honestly this isn't a hard choice. Going to the Hammers will do nothing to fix your life. It may accelerate your trip to rock bottom, wherever you find it. As the saying goes "Why are you beating your head on the wall?" ... "Because it feels so good when I stop!"
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Old 02-01-2017, 12:07 PM   #812 (permalink)
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Well I slipped up again on Sunday night. Decided to head down to my friends shop to hear the new KOH car fire for the first time. I decided to sit back and watch as there were already so many hands involved, and as a result decided to knock back a few beers. Told the wife I'd be home early, but that ended up being around 12 A.M. when I rolled through the door. I knew she was pissed, so I went straight to the couch. Apparently, I was snoring so loud she had to come out and smack me, and as a result I lost my shit. I don't remember most of it, but I said some really bad stuff telling her I hate her, she makes me miserable, and plus some. She left for work in the morning and left me some notes in big black print to wake up to, quoting the things I said to her.

Now I'm faced with a hard choice. I have planned to leave for KOH on Saturday riding in a friends truck. My friends have paid money for me to be there to work in their pits, a place in the RV, food and other expenses. I called and explained to them that Hammers may not be the best place for me since I know it will be a week of drinking. They understand, but still encourage me to go. My wife obviously wants be to stay home and not put myself in that situation, but tells me that this is my decision alone to stay or go. She is not happy.....I don't know why I'm torn on this decision. Part of me feels that it is just the drunk inside of me knowing that if I go I will be able to drink. Maybe I need some "Pirate Advice."
You have admitted you have a problem. If you go and won't be able to control your drinking then you should stay home. I know it sucks bailing on your buddies but if they are true friends they will understand. If they paid some funds for you to go then you should reimburse them.

If you honestly think you can control your drinking and I know that is a big IF then you can go. Whether you control your drinking or not your wife will probably still be pissed if you go but that likely has more to do with your last drinking episode than actually going. From just reading the last page of this thread you should stay home in my opinion.

I haven't read anything but the last page of this thread. I don't have addiction to drinking but I can relate. It doesn't sound manly but consider seeing a therapist to help with your addiction. One helped with mine (not drinking/drugs).

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Old 02-01-2017, 12:10 PM   #813 (permalink)
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If my wife smacked me she'd get that same treatment. Drunk or not.
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Old 02-01-2017, 12:14 PM   #814 (permalink)
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My wife obviously wants me to stay home
That's awesome *if* what she means by that is she'd rather have you home with her and she'll do her best to be positive about what you're going through.
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Old 02-01-2017, 12:15 PM   #815 (permalink)
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Do you love your wife?
Choose between fucking up your relationship further, and going racing, and probably being a drunk idiot, or staying home, working on repairing your relationship, and not being a drunk.

It's not a hard choice from here, and you already know why you're arguing with yourself.
I do love my wife, but we've been fighting a lot and it's always about alcohol, politics, or worldly views. I've honestly had thoughts, and a lot more lately that we'd both be better of apart. Maybe that's the drunk in me trying to get rid of her as she is the only threat to that lifestyle that I've been living since way before her.

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Old 02-01-2017, 12:24 PM   #816 (permalink)
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I do love my wife, but we've been fighting a lot and it's always about alcohol, politics, or worldly views. I've honestly had thoughts, and a lot more lately that we'd both be better of apart. Maybe that's the drunk in me trying to get rid of her as she is the only threat to that lifestyle that I've been living since way before her.
Staying a drunk the rest of your life... your choice.

I suspect that if you removed alcohol, that you'd have a better home life. It may take a bit for her to "trust" you and that may very well be the root of y'alls issues.... maybe not. But even if y'all don't figure out how to get along, sobriety is a good choice.
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Old 02-01-2017, 12:24 PM   #817 (permalink)
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If my wife smacked me she'd get that same treatment. Drunk or not.
I am not a good person to wake up out of a deep sleep. I don't fully wake up, and have been told I become quite angry/scary. I rarely remember any details, but even a gentle tap sets me off into a rage as though I've been smacked hard. My dad used to do it all the time. Never physically violent, just very vocal. This happens even when I'm not drinking.
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Old 02-01-2017, 12:29 PM   #818 (permalink)
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Regarding being better off apart-
I thought the same thing when i was drinking. Turns out, i was the problem. More accurately, my drinking, and my attitude were the problems. Things are much better since i made the choice to fix myself.

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Old 02-01-2017, 12:30 PM   #819 (permalink)
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, I owe them sobriety now more so than ever.
Bullshit. You only owe YOURSELF. Sobriety doesn't come for others.

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She is not happy.....I don't know why I'm torn on this decision. Part of me feels that it is just the drunk inside of me knowing that if I go I will be able to drink. Maybe I need some "Pirate Advice."
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Do you love your wife?

It's not a hard choice from here, and you already know why you're arguing with yourself.
What this guy said
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Old 02-01-2017, 12:32 PM   #820 (permalink)
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I do love my wife, but we've been fighting a lot and it's always about alcohol, politics, or worldly views. I've honestly had thoughts, and a lot more lately that we'd both be better of apart. Maybe that's the drunk in me trying to get rid of her as she is the only threat to that lifestyle that I've been living since way before her.
That's just yourself trying to justify drinking and not quitting. For me I wouldn't think twice and would tell my Buds that I SCREWED UP and now I have to fix it. As for the other 2 issues deal with it. It's okay to have different options on those topics and you can still get along. Drop the booze as that doesn't seem to help anything ever.

I don't think KOH would be a good environment if you trying to quit. I enjoy going to KOH and getting out, but the amount of drinking and the dumbness that results from it take some of the fun out of it.
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Old 02-01-2017, 12:38 PM   #821 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bigbroncojeff View Post
Staying a drunk the rest of your life... your choice.

I suspect that if you removed alcohol, that you'd have a better home life. It may take a bit for her to "trust" you and that may very well be the root of y'alls issues.... maybe not. But even if y'all don't figure out how to get along, sobriety is a good choice.
Agreed, and maybe that's what I needed to hear. I'm trying to hold onto the drunk life style, and just don't want to admit it to myself. It's easier to point the blame at her and try to hold onto my old hobbies/friends, and only revolve them around beer. I know that making a decision to suddenly end our marriage while I'm so deep in this hole would not be a good move. I'd hate to make this rash decision, then sober up one day and realize that life would have been better with her. This shouldn't be a choice for me until I can actually give our marriage a try.

Sadly, my friends and some family have been encouraging me in a way to continue to place blame on her, and think she is the problem. Maybe they've just always known me as the drunk I was? Started pretty heavy when I was in highschool and continued until now. I'm 31. She just happened to come by and accept me when I was in my young 20's, and since then has always encouraged me to quit. No one else ever has.

Last edited by RaginCaucasian; 02-01-2017 at 12:44 PM.
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Old 02-01-2017, 12:49 PM   #822 (permalink)
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Do you want to quit?
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Old 02-01-2017, 01:23 PM   #823 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by ky scrambled View Post
Do you want to quit?
Yes but no. It depends on the day and the time. If there's a chance that I get bored, all I can think about is drinking. I'm sick of feeling like shit though. I wish I could find a balance and be able to not crave it, or drink 12 when I just try to have 1 or 2.

In the meantime, I'm going to give this a try. I thank you all, for giving an outside unbiased perspective. I'm going to cancel going to KOH, and still take part of the week off from work to work on my garage. This way I can get my buggy back home. I'll be less likely to drink if I'm at home rather than at my shop. I'm also going to hand over my personal debit cards to my wife to hold for a while. I think this will help keep me from buying alcohol so easily. Only account I will be able to spend from is our joint accounts, and any cash that I may have, but I rarely carry cash. Hopefully this also gives me motivation to see how much money I save.

Last edited by RaginCaucasian; 02-01-2017 at 01:39 PM.
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Old 02-01-2017, 01:46 PM   #824 (permalink)
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The only thing I have to add is this "it's not a problem until you think it's a problem".
You have to be truthful with yourself. There is support out there when you decide you need someone to lean on. Best of luck.
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Old 02-01-2017, 02:49 PM   #825 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by RaginCaucasian View Post
Sadly, my friends and some family have been encouraging me in a way to continue to place blame on her, and think she is the problem.
WTF?
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