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Old 08-09-2018, 12:34 PM   #951 (permalink)
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A little tip for anyone trying the "occasional moderation" thing-

Pick out the beer(s) you're going to drink and put them in their own place. I've got a beer fridge in the shop, full of all my various favorites and water, sports drink, etc. If I want to have a few beers today while I'm off work, I pick out the 3 I want and stick them in the door. When those 3 are gone, I'm done. This way you dont have to keep track of what you're doing... and long before a few beers turns into too many beers you have to make a conscience choice.

It's not foolproof, but it has worked great for me for many years (so long as I'm not hanging out with you guys).
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Old 08-09-2018, 02:40 PM   #952 (permalink)
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Well one advantage this week for me is with all the smoke in the air I'm able to get most of my running in before work when the air is better. My brother in law started a new job and mentioned going to a bar tonight. The wife and I said to call us if he needs a ride. It's beneficial in that we can get him AND his car home instead of someone giving him a ride around town tomorrow.
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Old 08-09-2018, 02:46 PM   #953 (permalink)
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My brother in law started a new job and mentioned going to a bar tonight. The wife and I said to call us if he needs a ride. It's beneficial in that we can get him AND his car home instead of someone giving him a ride around town tomorrow.
Sounds like drinking is woven into the fabric of your lives.

Not judging; it's like that here too.
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Old 08-13-2018, 07:43 AM   #954 (permalink)
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Sounds like drinking is woven into the fabric of your lives.

Not judging; it's like that here too.
I wouldn't say it's woven into our lives. He didn't drink it was just his coworkers taking him out after work. He doesn't know anyone here he isn't related to by marriage or blood. He went out and played Pokemon all day Sunday. Video games aren't woven into the fabric of our lives.

Day seven starts today. I don't really miss waking up tired although I was a little tired from replacing the downpipe on my truck. Apparently the previous owner(s) only had a cat back exhaust. Lining up the two pipes while also trying to get the transmission dipstick back in place was fun. It made running 16 miles Sunday a little interesting and I thought I'd hurt more today but I got 7 in (7 for 7...get it?) this morning because runners are weird.

Talked with the wife about my BIL (previously quit drinking) Saturday because I THOUGHT it would be easier if him and I weren't drinking. Looks like his was short lived. I was more thinking I could help him stay sober if someone else is sober with him but whatever. It got into me drinking and ended with her saying she didn't want to be the woman who made me choose and me saying I can't ever drink again if I want to have her and my son in my life (I mention the casual/2-3 beers on the fridge door thing) because I've never stuck with a limit after a period of not drinking. My mom noticed I wasn't drinking a beer with dinner and mentioned "is it because of Chicago?" (marathon I'm running in 2 months) and it was an easy deflection for my wife/me to not have to answer it.

Honestly, just like every other time I've actually quit and been serious about it I don't miss it. I don't miss waking up feeling like poop, not being able to poop or having diaherra poop, and needing a few hours to feel functional. Now it's to a point where waking up at 4am is normal so I possibly COULD go swimming and train for a triathlon...just don't tell my wife.
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Old 08-13-2018, 08:07 AM   #955 (permalink)
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I wouldn't say it's woven into our lives. He didn't drink it was just his coworkers taking him out after work. He doesn't know anyone here he isn't related to by marriage or blood. He went out and played Pokemon all day Sunday. Video games aren't woven into the fabric of our lives.

Day seven starts today. I don't really miss waking up tired although I was a little tired from replacing the downpipe on my truck. Apparently the previous owner(s) only had a cat back exhaust. Lining up the two pipes while also trying to get the transmission dipstick back in place was fun. It made running 16 miles Sunday a little interesting and I thought I'd hurt more today but I got 7 in (7 for 7...get it?) this morning because runners are weird.

Talked with the wife about my BIL (previously quit drinking) Saturday because I THOUGHT it would be easier if him and I weren't drinking. Looks like his was short lived. I was more thinking I could help him stay sober if someone else is sober with him but whatever. It got into me drinking and ended with her saying she didn't want to be the woman who made me choose and me saying I can't ever drink again if I want to have her and my son in my life (I mention the casual/2-3 beers on the fridge door thing) because I've never stuck with a limit after a period of not drinking. My mom noticed I wasn't drinking a beer with dinner and mentioned "is it because of Chicago?" (marathon I'm running in 2 months) and it was an easy deflection for my wife/me to not have to answer it.

Honestly, just like every other time I've actually quit and been serious about it I don't miss it. I don't miss waking up feeling like poop, not being able to poop or having diaherra poop, and needing a few hours to feel functional. Now it's to a point where waking up at 4am is normal so I possibly COULD go swimming and train for a triathlon...just don't tell my wife.

"I wouldn't say it's woven into our lives."


It is dude. Just like the majority of us. Read that first sentence and then read the rest of your paragraph. Replace booze with a hard drug and then read it.

My family and friends all drink. Doesn't matter what the occasion, there is booze. It's always been like that, always will. I can't change them and honestly I don't care to. I can change me though.


I've been sober 4 months. Since I was 15 this is the longest I have ever gone without a buzz. I started it cause I was fat and was trying to stop being fat. Now I don't drink cause I feel really good.

Good luck man.
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Old 08-13-2018, 09:29 AM   #956 (permalink)
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Drinking 'culture' is woven into most people's lives to a pretty shocking degree if you step back and look at it. A lot of borderline and even outright abusive behaviours are condoned if not encouraged. Day drinking, hair of the dog, 'wine moms', nobody really bats an eye and if one were to object you would be labelled a prude and a killjoy. But like the last poster mentioned, replace the booze in any of those scenarios with a couple bumps and the perception is wildly different.
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Old 08-13-2018, 09:44 AM   #957 (permalink)
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Drinking 'culture' is woven into most people's lives to a pretty shocking degree if you step back and look at it. A lot of borderline and even outright abusive behaviours are condoned if not encouraged. Day drinking, hair of the dog, 'wine moms', nobody really bats an eye and if one were to object you would be labelled a prude and a killjoy. But like the last poster mentioned, replace the booze in any of those scenarios with a couple bumps and the perception is wildly different.
I have been around drinking my whole life, and I never condoned any of this behavior. alcohol has never been an expectable excuse in my book. if you can't handle it don't drink it. but many do use it as an excuse.
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Old 08-13-2018, 01:30 PM   #958 (permalink)
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"I wouldn't say it's woven into our lives."


It is dude. Just like the majority of us. Read that first sentence and then read the rest of your paragraph. Replace booze with a hard drug and then read it.
So some people want to hang out at a bar and I can't go because that means alcohol is woven in my life? Do friends and family drink? yes. Do they also break the law? sure. I wouldn't say I'm woven in to a life of crime but with your logic I am. I run so does it mean running marathons is woven into their life or do they just know a guy who runs? I have friends who don't drink or have alcohol in their house. It doesn't mean they're against alcohol. They've gone to social gatherings with people who drink and ordered something else. Is alcohol woven in to their lives?

I agree with gunracer1 about alcohol tolerance. PLENTY of situations exist where having alcohol isn't tolerated. I can't be at work drinking. I can't drink until I puke and still have people want to hang out. Some families are okay with cocaine use as well. Other people don't care if you smoke marijuana. My brother in law went to a bar with people and didn't drink. I even offered to give him a ride if he wanted to drink. He went there to hang out. He could have hung with people doing coke and played video games without telling me and I'd have given him a ride home.

congratulations on being sober 4 months. Keep going.
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Old 08-13-2018, 02:38 PM   #959 (permalink)
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So some people want to hang out at a bar and I can't go because that means alcohol is woven in my life? Do friends and family drink? yes. Do they also break the law? sure. I wouldn't say I'm woven in to a life of crime but with your logic I am. I run so does it mean running marathons is woven into their life or do they just know a guy who runs? I have friends who don't drink or have alcohol in their house. It doesn't mean they're against alcohol. They've gone to social gatherings with people who drink and ordered something else. Is alcohol woven in to their lives?

I agree with gunracer1 about alcohol tolerance. PLENTY of situations exist where having alcohol isn't tolerated. I can't be at work drinking. I can't drink until I puke and still have people want to hang out. Some families are okay with cocaine use as well. Other people don't care if you smoke marijuana. My brother in law went to a bar with people and didn't drink. I even offered to give him a ride if he wanted to drink. He went there to hang out. He could have hung with people doing coke and played video games without telling me and I'd have given him a ride home.

congratulations on being sober 4 months. Keep going.
Man I ain't fighting with ya. Just saying that once you step back you will see how much its effects everyone and everything and they don't even realize it.

Good luck on everything but running so got damn much. You should stop that for sure
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Old 08-13-2018, 02:54 PM   #960 (permalink)
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Man I ain't fighting with ya. Just saying that once you step back you will see how much its effects everyone and everything and they don't even realize it.

Good luck on everything but running so got damn much. You should stop that for sure
Running sucks. Ask me how I know. Want to know the difference between Gatorade and beer? No one gets upset with you for drinking 16 bottles of Gatorade. Not arguing just not understanding I guess.

I think I'll start seeing it more and more often, get to the "I don't like being around drunk people" then get to the "na drunk people are funny because they don't know how stupid they're acting" phase. I can tell you it's easier to spot the red eyes in people already and that's just because I'm sober. I can see why my wife doesn't like seeing me that way when she sees her father like that at times. The difference is she can't change who her father is but she can change who her husband is.
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Old 08-27-2018, 05:07 AM   #961 (permalink)
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3 weeks this morning. We went to a family dinner last night and I told my wife I noticed how much some people had drank, or were drinking, on a Sunday and while being around them didn't bother me I wouldn't notice it if I was drinking with them. It also might be helping my running because I was able to get 7 miles in this morning before making breakfast.

It really hasn't bothered me to not drink. Maybe I'm a special snowflake, or maybe I'm just lucky. Friday was a bad day all around and I made it through just knowing I'd gone almost three weeks without drinking, this day was coming, and if I quit now I'm going off the deep end and tomorrow will HURT. All because I had a bad day and I threw a hissy fit/pitty party. It's like Bill Cosby said in his standup. "We work had all day to do this. We deserve this. We've earned it" in reference to getting throwing up after drinking too much. I kind of don't miss waking up sore every single morning. I'll deal with waking up at 2 or 3 am a little better than red eyed and slow almost any day at this point. Plus it's still funny to joke about.

"Know what sounds great right about now? -- beers."
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Old 08-27-2018, 07:51 AM   #962 (permalink)
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3 weeks this morning. We went to a family dinner last night and I told my wife I noticed how much some people had drank, or were drinking, on a Sunday and while being around them didn't bother me I wouldn't notice it if I was drinking with them. It also might be helping my running because I was able to get 7 miles in this morning before making breakfast.

It really hasn't bothered me to not drink. Maybe I'm a special snowflake, or maybe I'm just lucky. Friday was a bad day all around and I made it through just knowing I'd gone almost three weeks without drinking, this day was coming, and if I quit now I'm going off the deep end and tomorrow will HURT. All because I had a bad day and I threw a hissy fit/pitty party. It's like Bill Cosby said in his standup. "We work had all day to do this. We deserve this. We've earned it" in reference to getting throwing up after drinking too much. I kind of don't miss waking up sore every single morning. I'll deal with waking up at 2 or 3 am a little better than red eyed and slow almost any day at this point. Plus it's still funny to joke about.

"Know what sounds great right about now? -- beers."
Good job H8DWINGS! Keep on keeping on... You mentioned Friday was a "bad day", great job fighting through. There will be more days like that, and there will always be the next day where you, and only you, can celebrate the victory. I had a "bad weekend", but I knew today was coming and today is the start of my 32nd week without, and even though it's Monday, I woke up feeling great and ready to attack the day.
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Old 08-27-2018, 11:02 AM   #963 (permalink)
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Good job H8DWINGS! Keep on keeping on... You mentioned Friday was a "bad day", great job fighting through. There will be more days like that, and there will always be the next day where you, and only you, can celebrate the victory. I had a "bad weekend", but I knew today was coming and today is the start of my 32nd week without, and even though it's Monday, I woke up feeling great and ready to attack the day.
Yeah .It is something I've learned/dealt with/handled when previously abstaining and it usually comes to a "I'd have to start over. I'm like -- days into this. FAAAAWWWWKKK" kinda thing. Kinda had an argument with the wife over stupid shit and said "well it can't be the drinking" to which she said "well then go get drunk" which didn't exactly HELP but made the point. An added bonus is knowing I can drive home at any time, pass any test and just be tired and smelly and not have to worry about failing a sobriety test. I might lose some sleep if someone needs a ride but at least I can do it knowing I can do it.

32 weeks...dude that's like for-fucking-EVER! Like....a month younger than my son. Did you quit in January or February?

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Old 08-27-2018, 11:41 AM   #964 (permalink)
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Yeah .It is something I've learned/dealt with/handled when previously abstaining and it usually comes to a "I'd have to start over. I'm like -- days into this. FAAAAWWWWKKK" kinda thing. Kinda had an argument with the wife over stupid shit and said "well it can't be the drinking" to which she said "well then go get drunk" which didn't exactly HELP but made the point. An added bonus is knowing I can drive home at any time, pass any test and just be tired and smelly and not have to worry about failing a sobriety test. I might lose some sleep if someone needs a ride but at least I can do it knowing I can do it.

32 weeks...dude that's like for-fucking-EVER! Like....a month younger than my son. Did you quit in January or February?
January 15th was my last drink... and you are right, it is "for-fucking-EVER", as in, I won't have another drink in "for-fucking-EVER"!

To your point- I enjoy the fact that I can be there for anyone that needs me at any time of the day, and not put myself or anyone else at risk to do so.
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Old 08-27-2018, 12:07 PM   #965 (permalink)
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Kinda had an argument with the wife over stupid shit and said "well it can't be the drinking" to which she said "well then go get drunk" which didn't exactly HELP but made the point.
WTF?

You two often go at each other like that?
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Old 08-27-2018, 01:12 PM   #966 (permalink)
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WTF?

You two often go at each other like that?
Na. It was the end of a crappy day and I just wanted to sit on the couch, we got into a small discussion that grew and I said whatever I was doing to make her mad couldn't be because I was drinking. I spent the next few hours on the couch alone (we had plans, I didn't want to go, she went) and almost fell asleep around 6:30pm because of how exhausted I was mentally.
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Old 08-27-2018, 01:31 PM   #967 (permalink)
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What is everyone's description / definition of an alcoholic? I see people posting saying they are done with a 30 pack or two/week, and I'm over here thinking I'll go through that in a work week alone, not to mention another 50-60 beers and a bottle or two on the weekend.. I'm 24 and I am constantly on time to work, I have a college degree, make all payments, etc.

I have never considered myself an alcoholic just a professional good timer. I don't think I plan on quitting anytime soon and have never really thought about it as a problem until reading this thread. Sure my friends and I will joke about it on a Saturday morning or something after a long evening or weekend but that's about the extent of it.

I am single with no family so that might be a part of it.

Thoughts?
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Old 08-29-2018, 10:46 AM   #968 (permalink)
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What is everyone's description / definition of an alcoholic? I see people posting saying they are done with a 30 pack or two/week, and I'm over here thinking I'll go through that in a work week alone, not to mention another 50-60 beers and a bottle or two on the weekend.. I'm 24 and I am constantly on time to work, I have a college degree, make all payments, etc.

I have never considered myself an alcoholic just a professional good timer. I don't think I plan on quitting anytime soon and have never really thought about it as a problem until reading this thread. Sure my friends and I will joke about it on a Saturday morning or something after a long evening or weekend but that's about the extent of it.

I am single with no family so that might be a part of it.

Thoughts?
Functional Alcoholic. Occasionally you might miss something on the weekend because of Friday night, MAYBE show up to work a little sore from a late night drinking, but for the most part people wouldn't think you drink too much (depending who you ask) and you're young.

50-60 over the weekend? Binge drinker which can be a type of alcoholic (me). If you're awake 14 hours a day that about a beer every 15 minutes. On top of 6 a night and a bottle. Yeah I'd try and slow down. I can't think of how I'd feel waking up Saturday morning after half a bottle of rum plus 10-15 beers then doing it again 12 hours later. While you might not think of quitting, or having a problem, have you gone two or three days without beer? CAN YOU go 2-3 days without beer during the week? While you might not consider yourself an alcoholic would you at least acknowledge you may have a dependency on alcohol on a daily basis if you're not going any period of time without?
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Old 08-29-2018, 10:57 AM   #969 (permalink)
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What is everyone's description / definition of an alcoholic? I see people posting saying they are done with a 30 pack or two/week, and I'm over here thinking I'll go through that in a work week alone, not to mention another 50-60 beers and a bottle or two on the weekend.. I'm 24 and I am constantly on time to work, I have a college degree, make all payments, etc.

I have never considered myself an alcoholic just a professional good timer. I don't think I plan on quitting anytime soon and have never really thought about it as a problem until reading this thread. Sure my friends and I will joke about it on a Saturday morning or something after a long evening or weekend but that's about the extent of it.

I am single with no family so that might be a part of it.

Thoughts?

That averages out to 13 beers a day plus your booze. You thirsty bro
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Old 08-29-2018, 11:01 AM   #970 (permalink)
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If someone drank 13 coffees, sodas or iced teas a day would Luke consider them to have a problem with caffeine or sugar?
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Old 08-29-2018, 11:05 AM   #971 (permalink)
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Functional Alcoholic. Occasionally you might miss something on the weekend because of Friday night, MAYBE show up to work a little sore from a late night drinking, but for the most part people wouldn't think you drink too much (depending who you ask) and you're young.

50-60 over the weekend? Binge drinker which can be a type of alcoholic (me). If you're awake 14 hours a day that about a beer every 15 minutes. On top of 6 a night and a bottle. Yeah I'd try and slow down. I can't think of how I'd feel waking up Saturday morning after half a bottle of rum plus 10-15 beers then doing it again 12 hours later. While you might not think of quitting, or having a problem, have you gone two or three days without beer? CAN YOU go 2-3 days without beer during the week? While you might not consider yourself an alcoholic would you at least acknowledge you may have a dependency on alcohol on a daily basis if you're not going any period of time without?
Yeah I show up sore once in awhile, or might miss a weekend event. But I maintain responsibility and do just fine without letting it effect any obligations I have. I enjoy responsibly, stay at home and don't put myself or others at risk while driving intoxicated.

I could go a few days without and sometimes do. I think my biggest issue is I just purchased my first house, which happens to be on a lake of mostly retired folks, and the pontoon boats and golf cart rides tend to become a vicious party cycle

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That averages out to 13 beers a day plus your booze. You thirsty bro
Yeah probably between 10-20 a day is a good guess, I have slower days but usually crank out 8 PBR's or so before I start feeling decent I really don't eat dinner but once or twice a week so that allows me to put a few more back than if I was eating a big meal every night. The bottles aren't really solely me as I will usually share with anyone around if they want, but I stick to PBR because no one else enjoys them

I guess I need to re-evaluate things a bit.. I keep telling myself it's just because it's summer and we are out on the water so much and that winter will be different, who knows

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Old 08-29-2018, 11:24 AM   #972 (permalink)
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Yeah probably between 10-20 a day is a good guess, I have slower days but usually crank out 8 PBR's or so before I start feeling decent I really don't eat dinner but once or twice a week so that allows me to put a few more back than if I was eating a big meal every night.
Oh to be young...

I guarantee there are people around you that already realize you're an alcoholic. You can get away with it for quite awhile, but as you age, you're either going to have to *drastically* alter your behavior, or those same people are going to say, "Yup, I knew that's how he would end up."
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Old 08-29-2018, 11:36 AM   #973 (permalink)
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Yeah I show up sore once in awhile, or might miss a weekend event. But I maintain responsibility and do just fine without letting it effect any obligations I have. I enjoy responsibly, stay at home and don't put myself or others at risk while driving intoxicated.

I could go a few days without and sometimes do. I think my biggest issue is I just purchased my first house, which happens to be on a lake of mostly retired folks, and the pontoon boats and golf cart rides tend to become a vicious party cycle



Yeah probably between 10-20 a day is a good guess, I have slower days but usually crank out 8 PBR's or so before I start feeling decent I really don't eat dinner but once or twice a week so that allows me to put a few more back than if I was eating a big meal every night. The bottles aren't really solely me as I will usually share with anyone around if they want, but I stick to PBR because no one else enjoys them

I guess I need to re-evaluate things a bit.. I keep telling myself it's just because it's summer and we are out on the water so much and that winter will be different, who knows

as with everything in life, "too much is too much" but my drinking has a lot to do with who shows up or where I go. my neighborhood is a lot like yours, I have some good friends local and we drink more than a few on a hot afternoon. but then again I may not drink at all week if I stay in the house.
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Old 08-29-2018, 11:56 AM   #974 (permalink)
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I guarantee there are people around you that already realize you're an alcoholic. those same people are going to say, "Yup, I knew that's how he would end up."
I feel like this is pretty judgemental. I'm not physically dependent on alcohol to have a good time. I can accomplish plenty without it. I don't get sick when I am not drinking. Just asking what everyone's thoughts on what alcoholism is.

Also writing off someones future or implying there is nowhere to go but down is a little pessimistic, don't you think? For someone who knows little about me you sure cast some bleak forecasts.

"Wow he has 6k posts on Pirate. I always knew he was a nerd that wouldn't ever move out of his mom's basement" How is that statement any different than yours? (not saying I think so, just making a point)

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Originally Posted by gunracer1 View Post
as with everything in life, "too much is too much" but my drinking has a lot to do with who shows up or where I go. my neighborhood is a lot like yours, I have some good friends local and we drink more than a few on a hot afternoon. but then again I may not drink at all week if I stay in the house.
Absolutely. Is there really a problem in this? I drink much more in a social setting than when I'm alone. I just spend a lot more time with friends and neighbors than I do by myself

Last edited by Cool Hand Luke; 08-29-2018 at 11:57 AM.
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Old 08-29-2018, 12:27 PM   #975 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cool Hand Luke View Post
What is everyone's description / definition of an alcoholic? I see people posting saying they are done with a 30 pack or two/week, and I'm over here thinking I'll go through that in a work week alone, not to mention another 50-60 beers and a bottle or two on the weekend.. I'm 24 and I am constantly on time to work, I have a college degree, make all payments, etc.

I have never considered myself an alcoholic just a professional good timer. I don't think I plan on quitting anytime soon and have never really thought about it as a problem until reading this thread. Sure my friends and I will joke about it on a Saturday morning or something after a long evening or weekend but that's about the extent of it.

I am single with no family so that might be a part of it.

Thoughts?

It's good that at least your asking these questions, you're a lot smarter than I was at that age. I considered hard drinking a sign of being a 'real man'. I put in the hours at work, so I deserve it! Work hard, play hard right?

I was laying the foundation for serious dependency later on down the line and best believe a hangover looks a lot different at 34 than 24. Shakes, diarrhea and the dry heaves bc you drank your dinner the night before (and the night before, and the night before that...) are not a good look and neither is knowing you won't feel remotely human again until you get a few in you just to get right. Then that old familiar warm fuzzy feeling creeps in and hell, whats a few more, bc now we're feeling pretty good! Fast forward to the next morning and do it all over again. If you find yourself in that cycle then you can safely say yes you are an alchoholic but I wouldn't recommend taking the experiment that far. I'm a stubborn idiot so I had to learn the hard way, but at least I got sober before I really fucked my life up too bad or worse yet fucked up someone elses life.

Try switching out the booze with your non-alcoholic fizzy beverage of choice a few nights a week, if for no other reason than if you keep up the way you are you will get a beer gut and poop funny.

Most importantly be honest with yourself. If you THINK you MIGHT have a problem, chances are you do.
@H8DWINGS good job on sticking with it!
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