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Old 02-27-2019, 11:20 AM   #1176 (permalink)
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Also, after reading this book by Alan Carr I quit smoking cold turkey and I haven't looked back!!

Smokers wanting to quit, read this book!!!
http://prdupl02.ynet.co.il/ForumFiles_2/15119301.pdf
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Old 02-28-2019, 11:02 AM   #1177 (permalink)
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I agree COcamper .. I am about halfway through the book as well, and despite it being written by what I interpret to be an "upper Manhattan" type woman haha .. I do find it addresses a lot of the issues on ones mind.

I remember some of the first questions or concerns I had were related to "How the hell am I going to attend any social function for the rest of my life??" .. Birthdays, holidays, vacations, etc etc ruined! .. So addressing that thought, and working through it is paramount.

Like you said, this too shall pass and quickly becomes your "new normal". I suppose no different than quitting smoking which was challenging too.
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Old 02-28-2019, 01:38 PM   #1178 (permalink)
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I don't want to sound like some Uppity Yankee (I'm Californian...not much of anything) but the FOMA is real without the book. It might have taken less time for me to work through it because I was ready to quit and I'd done it multiple times before (diet and exercise purposes) so I got less questions.

It's more mental in my experience than anything. You think EVERYONE is going to want to know why you're not drinking and be all up in your business. Most of the time people don't give a shit. Other times you get by with "just don't feel like it." or come up with a "reason" like I did for a while.

For me the hard shit was getting through the moments I thought were bullshit and I could drink away so I didn't have to think about them. Getting past those were a bigger challenge. Next it's going to be (If I go back to drinking) having the "it's your birthday" drink.

Good on you COCamper. I've always found doing my annual physical is kind of a fun thing to see the blood work coming back good. Yeah I run but I also eat some shit and I'm trying to kick a 2 Rockstar a day habit.
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Old 03-01-2019, 07:44 PM   #1179 (permalink)
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I wanted a few beers tonight. Coworkers pissed me off. Believes one thing I say because it agrees with his story but when I tell him anything else he doesnít believe me. Boss doesnít give a shit about me just wants shit her way. I donít give a shit abuot o and I jokingly told the wife ďI already have them lined up in the fridge.Ē in reference to the four beers Iíve had in the fridge like 6 weeks. I canít say Iíve actually considered punching someone in the face acceptable at any point in life except today including saying Iíd throw a Molotov cocktail into someoneís bedroom an hour after they fall asleep because they couldnít prove anything. Just blame me and accuse me without any proof and a life lesson. Maybe Iím just fucked in the head. Maybe I just need some weed.
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Old 03-07-2019, 08:16 AM   #1180 (permalink)
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2 months today. I'm going to do nothing to celebrate it. I'm almost annoyed at how many events involve a beer now as if you can't do something WITHOUT a beer. Just now realizing how much it really IS ingrained in society. Replace alcohol with marijuana and people FLIP out. Host a family bbq and have some marijuana cupcakes and people won't touch them. Open a cooler full of beer and no one bats an eye.
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Old 03-07-2019, 09:20 AM   #1181 (permalink)
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I'm almost annoyed at how many events involve a beer now as if you can't do something WITHOUT a beer. Just now realizing how much it really IS ingrained in society. Replace alcohol with marijuana and people FLIP out. Host a family bbq and have some marijuana cupcakes and people won't touch them. Open a cooler full of beer and no one bats an eye.
Ayup.

Congrat's on your two months.
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Old 03-07-2019, 09:58 AM   #1182 (permalink)
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2 months today. I'm going to do nothing to celebrate it. I'm almost annoyed at how many events involve a beer now as if you can't do something WITHOUT a beer. Just now realizing how much it really IS ingrained in society. Replace alcohol with marijuana and people FLIP out. Host a family bbq and have some marijuana cupcakes and people won't touch them. Open a cooler full of beer and no one bats an eye.
Congrats man, 2 months is awesome, keep on keeping on!

Yep, one really starts to see how much booze is interlaced with everything once you step back for a little bit.

Funny you mention MJ, wife and I were out walking the new pup the other day and caught a wiff, not that uncommon any more, to the point I don't even really notice it. Wife does though, and made a comment about it. I told her be thankful booze doesn't leave an odor in the air, I couldn't imagine what it would smell like EVERYWHERE!

On a different note-

It's getting harder and harder to bite my tongue around my wife. I haven't said a word to her about HER drinking, as I know she put up with my drinking for many, many years. What I failed to see due to my own drinking was just how much she was consuming. I won't say anything, as I know each person has to make that decision on their own and how do I possibly say anything without being a hypocrite?! When it gets difficult is when she makes comments about her health or something else and wants to make some sort of radical diet change or join this gym, or... I soo badly want to tell her to just lay off the booze for 30 days and see how she feels. I'm pretty sure she is scared and the fear of missing alcohol is so real, that she would rather drink herself to sleep on the couch every night instead of addressing one of the underlying causes.

Sorry to vent, this seems like as good as place as any, and maybe one of my fellow drunks has encountered this and has some words of wisdom.
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Old 03-07-2019, 10:22 AM   #1183 (permalink)
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I quit smoking cold turkey and I haven't looked back!!
I quit smoking cold turkey too. April 15th, 1998. The day the Union Pacific Railroad banned smoking in the cabs of locomotives. Figured it was as good of reason as any.


I have some post in this thread. My life is complicated as of late. I have things under control, but it's a vicious two sides of a triangle at any given time. Opioids being one side of the triangle!

I don't venture out too much. During the day I like to putter around out in my garage, take a few hits, then take an afternoon nap. Evening is when I hang in my garage with a few beers, a lot more hits, and listen to loud music.

Couple of beers, a few hits, and using power tools out in the garage. Living the dream!

I haven't been feeling well both mentally and physically since my last spinal procedure....and I need another. I'm not handling that very well!

Now I'm just an old hippy stoner collecting my retirement.

I'm coping! Hope everybody else is too!
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Old 03-07-2019, 10:34 AM   #1184 (permalink)
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[QUOTE=COcamper;44351412]
It's getting harder and harder to bite my tongue around my wife. I haven't said a word to her about HER drinking, as I know she put up with my drinking for many, many years. What I failed to see due to my own drinking was just how much she was consuming. I won't say anything, as I know each person has to make that decision on their own and how do I possibly say anything without being a hypocrite?! When it gets difficult is when she makes comments about her health or something else and wants to make some sort of radical diet change or join this gym, or... I soo badly want to tell her to just lay off the booze for 30 days and see how she feels. I'm pretty sure she is scared and the fear of missing alcohol is so real, that she would rather drink herself to sleep on the couch every night instead of addressing one of the underlying causes.
/QUOTE]

See, I don't get this. Maybe because I don't think my wife was on me about my drinking all the time. Probably more "smartass" comments/questions like "well if you didn't drink so much" when I'm sore/tired/skipping out on things BECAUSE of drinking. Why do you have to fight it, or even comment on it? Does her drinking bother you? Do you want her to quit? Are you similar to my wife and just want to make "smartass" comments/questions she knows the answer to then give her that "don't look at me" look? At the same time....do you want to tell OTHER people not to drink cuz that shit gets old REAL quick.

If she REALLY wants to be afraid of something look at Whole 30. I've never felt better. If she is afraid of losing alcohol she'll probably shit a brick to lose sugar, alcohol, bread, beans, dairy and the ability to snack because snacks are tasty.

Also, aint you got all kinds of other shit to worry about with kids and surgeries and video games to worry about your wife's drinking?
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Old 03-07-2019, 10:43 AM   #1185 (permalink)
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I quit smoking cold turkey too. April 15th, 1998. The day the Union Pacific Railroad banned smoking in the cabs of locomotives. Figured it was as good of reason as any.


I have some post in this thread. My life is complicated as of late. I have things under control, but it's a vicious two sides of a triangle at any given time. Opioids being one side of the triangle!

I don't venture out too much. During the day I like to putter around out in my garage, take a few hits, then take an afternoon nap. Evening is when I hang in my garage with a few beers, a lot more hits, and listen to loud music.

Couple of beers, a few hits, and using power tools out in the garage. Living the dream!

I haven't been feeling well both mentally and physically since my last spinal procedure....and I need another. I'm not handling that very well!

Now I'm just an old hippy stoner collecting my retirement.

I'm coping! Hope everybody else is too!
Yah man I hear ya...I fell on my head down a ladder at work (Canadian navy) 2 burst disk, 3 bulging disks in my c spline and lumbar spine...I'm on a mixture of pregablin, percocets, little triangles and weed
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Old 03-07-2019, 10:44 AM   #1186 (permalink)
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It's getting harder and harder to bite my tongue around my wife. I haven't said a word to her about HER drinking, as I know she put up with my drinking for many, many years. What I failed to see due to my own drinking was just how much she was consuming. I won't say anything, as I know each person has to make that decision on their own and how do I possibly say anything without being a hypocrite?! When it gets difficult is when she makes comments about her health or something else and wants to make some sort of radical diet change or join this gym, or... I soo badly want to tell her to just lay off the booze for 30 days and see how she feels. I'm pretty sure she is scared and the fear of missing alcohol is so real, that she would rather drink herself to sleep on the couch every night instead of addressing one of the underlying causes.
/QUOTE]

See, I don't get this. Maybe because I don't think my wife was on me about my drinking all the time. Probably more "smartass" comments/questions like "well if you didn't drink so much" when I'm sore/tired/skipping out on things BECAUSE of drinking. Why do you have to fight it, or even comment on it? Does her drinking bother you? Do you want her to quit? Are you similar to my wife and just want to make "smartass" comments/questions she knows the answer to then give her that "don't look at me" look? At the same time....do you want to tell OTHER people not to drink cuz that shit gets old REAL quick.

If she REALLY wants to be afraid of something look at Whole 30. I've never felt better. If she is afraid of losing alcohol she'll probably shit a brick to lose sugar, alcohol, bread, beans, dairy and the ability to snack because snacks are tasty.

Also, aint you got all kinds of other shit to worry about with kids and surgeries and video games to worry about your wife's drinking?
Actually, a big problem for me the year that I was sober was that my wife would still want to party, and then would be mad at me that I wasn't in the same stupid "everything's so funny!" drunken mood that she was in.
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Old 03-07-2019, 11:21 AM   #1187 (permalink)
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Good points H8WINGS.

No, I have not and will not make any "smartass" comments, as I know that doesn't accomplish anything. Do I want her to quit, only if she wants to. Would I love to see her dial it back a little bit, sure, but her and I aren't wired that way- it's all or nothing! I will be the LAST person to tell anyone not to drink, just the opposite, drink away as far as I'm concerned. At the same time, don't play the "woe is me" card and expect much sympathy.

Just the other night my youngest daughter put her car in the ditch on an icy road. She knew she could call me and I'd be able to help her because I wasn't passed out on the couch. That right there is reason #10000032 to stay sober! My wife was in tears as I left because she knew she couldn't drive to help, couldn't drive our daughters car home (daughters first accident and she was pretty rattled), and made numerous comments along the lines of: "Mother of the year award, can't even go help my daughter..." I didn't say a word, just put on my boots/coat and said I've got this, we'll be back soon. There have been other situations like this and I've never said a word and never will.

As for the other shit to keep me busy, plenty of it, and thankfully surgeries aren't part of it, at least not right now!
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Old 03-07-2019, 11:33 AM   #1188 (permalink)
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Good points H8WINGS.

No, I have not and will not make any "smartass" comments, as I know that doesn't accomplish anything. Do I want her to quit, only if she wants to. Would I love to see her dial it back a little bit, sure, but her and I aren't wired that way- it's all or nothing! I will be the LAST person to tell anyone not to drink, just the opposite, drink away as far as I'm concerned. At the same time, don't play the "woe is me" card and expect much sympathy.

Just the other night my youngest daughter put her car in the ditch on an icy road. She knew she could call me and I'd be able to help her because I wasn't passed out on the couch. That right there is reason #10000032 to stay sober! My wife was in tears as I left because she knew she couldn't drive to help, couldn't drive our daughters car home (daughters first accident and she was pretty rattled), and made numerous comments along the lines of: "Mother of the year award, can't even go help my daughter..." I didn't say a word, just put on my boots/coat and said I've got this, we'll be back soon. There have been other situations like this and I've never said a word and never will.

As for the other shit to keep me busy, plenty of it, and thankfully surgeries aren't part of it, at least not right now!
Again, I joke about drinking. "The answers you seek are in the bottom of a bottle" and "This relationship works better if one of us has a good buzz going. I took the first part." That 'woe is me' shit got old when EYE (spelled for emphasis) said it to myself. All or nothing baby! It's either all your fault or nothing is. Just like it's either ALL the way drunk or not at all. None of this weak as "light buzz" bullshit.

Sucks about the accident. Nothing you can say takes away from the feelings she felt. At the same time...it's called an ACCIDENT not an INTENTIONAL. It wasn't planned. "Honey, there is plenty of shit you helped with that I didn't do for YEARS. It's how we got this far." is probably what I would have said. Either that or "Mother of the Year would go to the drunk mom who would go out there thinking she is good enough to drive and HAS to be there for her baby."
Glad you're able to get out there. I kind of feel the same way when I'm up at 3:00am unable to sleep and I can spend 30 minutes with a pissed off 14 month old while my wife tries to sleep some more.
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Old 03-15-2019, 01:40 PM   #1189 (permalink)
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I guess the 15th of the month did have some significance, as it sure seems to keep aligning with something...

14 months today without a drink, 20 years today since I started with my current employer.

I didn't, don't, and never will expect anyone to recognize the first milestone, the only reason I mentioned it was because of the second milestone, which again, happens to fall on the 15th. I did hold out a little hope that someone within the company might say "atta boy, way to stick around" or something similar. Nope, just another Friday at the office and nope, I won't be going to get a drink to celebrate!

Hope all is well with everyone, keep on keeping on.
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Old 03-15-2019, 03:06 PM   #1190 (permalink)
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I guess the 15th of the month did have some significance, as it sure seems to keep aligning with something...

14 months today without a drink, 20 years today since I started with my current employer.

I didn't, don't, and never will expect anyone to recognize the first milestone, the only reason I mentioned it was because of the second milestone, which again, happens to fall on the 15th. I did hold out a little hope that someone within the company might say "atta boy, way to stick around" or something similar. Nope, just another Friday at the office and nope, I won't be going to get a drink to celebrate!

Hope all is well with everyone, keep on keeping on.
I get my attaboy at work every week in my bank account. I'm content with that. I don't do milestones or dwell on time much with anything but my marriage (I'm not stupid!), it's just one day at a time. On the 8th of this month I realized that on the 1st was 20 years sober. I celebrated as I do every day, with a prayer of gratitude for another day of sobriety.

I encourage everyone working on this to keep on going. If you can sober up one more time than you get drunk, it's a win.
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Old 03-16-2019, 03:55 AM   #1191 (permalink)
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I quit drinking almost 15 months ago and one of the hardest parts was making my relationship work again. We've been together almost 9 years and I was drinking for almost all of that. Once I quit I realized so many things about us that I used to just drink away. While at the same time trying to find new social activities, she made some major changes in diet at almost the same time. So in a short time we stopped going to bars, trivia nights, live music, out to dinner, casinos and some traveling. It seemed like we had no life at all, over time we have been able to incorporate some things back in our life but it's still limited. We both feel a million times better physically though so that is what I keep focus on.
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Old 03-16-2019, 04:36 AM   #1192 (permalink)
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Went 7 days and 1 hour without. I’ll probably try it again. Need to work on keeping my wife happy and my son feeling proud of himself.
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Old 03-25-2019, 03:02 PM   #1193 (permalink)
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76 days. It is almost boring to think about now.

EDIT: @BUCKLAND hey that is a week longer than a LOT of people. I'm sure by day 6 you were feeling kinda different. I'll admit there have been days/times I've said "eh that's good enough" and had a beer in the past. This time I'm just kind of sticking with it "because it's been this long. How long can I hold out?" and I don't even miss it. As I've said many times FOR ME it's not hard to be around people who drink. It's just as fun/enjoyable and no one asks me 100 questions about why I quit. Maybe it's because they know I want to run the Boston Marathon and have wanted to for a while. Maybe it's because they know I have a kid and having a designated driver is smart. Maybe my wife, or I, told them I couldn't be an adult about it and drank TO GET DRUNK.

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Old 04-08-2019, 01:42 PM   #1194 (permalink)
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I can't get to day 2 if I don't start at day 1. 4 months from today will be my 35th birthday. Let's set the goal there because at the end of April I'm supposed to make another attempt at a BQ. I'm considering gifting some alcohol to a friend, but I don't know what I'd do with the kegerator that's been unplugged for probably 6 months. I honestly don't care about the money spent on alcohol I'd be giving away or the money I spent buying homebrewing stuff. As my wife says "they print more money every day." Waking up this morning with a sore back and knowing it's from sleeping like crap from drinking just makes me want to be where I was about 3 weeks ago so as an early birthday gift I'm giving myself some sobriety.

I do appreciate the offers to talk real time to the person(s) who reached out.
Shit back then I was bad at math. I told the wife Sunday (35th birthday) it was 30 days. She looked confused and said "uhhhhh....it's longer than that" and I didn't realized I'd said 30 instead of 90.

The funny thing is usually I'd "celebrate" something like this with a "good beer" and all I've done is spent the weekend doing anything but drinking (read: being productive) and realizing I wouldn't have done HALF the stuff I did if I'd celebrated by getting drunk Friday and Saturday. I'm not even "relieved" or anything that I've made it this far. I'd let myself drink if I wanted. Either it's influencing other people, people are talking about me not drinking (marathon 4/27/19. BQ here I come!) for various reasons, or they're kinda looking internal at how much they drink on occasions.

The funny/ironic thing is my wife is doing a "dry April" because she's starting to get serious about working out again. She had a shitty work week so day 2 I said she could have a beer and could start next week. I told her again Saturday or Sunday when she was watching basketball at dinner and her reply was "there isn't anything here worth breaking my 6 day streak for." I understood it and wondered what it would take, being so close to 100 days, for me to say 'aight, I'll have a drink.' I also told her this relationship only works if one of us is sober (long running joke I've had every time we've cut out alcohol).
She's better about controlling her drinking that I am...except for the last 90 days. I'll drink it ALL until it's gone. She can have a tall boy and say "yeah that's enough."
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Old 04-08-2019, 01:54 PM   #1195 (permalink)
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Was thinking of you today H8D when I noticed that Boston was coming up .. GREAT work on staying sober and best of luck with your BQ, I've got to think cutting out booze has helped ya stay lean and mean as we get closing to race season.
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Old 04-08-2019, 02:11 PM   #1196 (permalink)
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Shit back then I was bad at math. I told the wife Sunday (35th birthday) it was 30 days. She looked confused and said "uhhhhh....it's longer than that" and I didn't realized I'd said 30 instead of 90.

The funny thing is usually I'd "celebrate" something like this with a "good beer" and all I've done is spent the weekend doing anything but drinking (read: being productive) and realizing I wouldn't have done HALF the stuff I did if I'd celebrated by getting drunk Friday and Saturday. I'm not even "relieved" or anything that I've made it this far. I'd let myself drink if I wanted. Either it's influencing other people, people are talking about me not drinking (marathon 4/27/19. BQ here I come!) for various reasons, or they're kinda looking internal at how much they drink on occasions.

The funny/ironic thing is my wife is doing a "dry April" because she's starting to get serious about working out again. She had a shitty work week so day 2 I said she could have a beer and could start next week. I told her again Saturday or Sunday when she was watching basketball at dinner and her reply was "there isn't anything here worth breaking my 6 day streak for." I understood it and wondered what it would take, being so close to 100 days, for me to say 'aight, I'll have a drink.' I also told her this relationship only works if one of us is sober (long running joke I've had every time we've cut out alcohol).
She's better about controlling her drinking that I am...except for the last 90 days. I'll drink it ALL until it's gone. She can have a tall boy and say "yeah that's enough."
Happy 35th birthday and happy 90th day, congrats on staying strong!

Best of luck on the marathon.
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Old 04-08-2019, 08:51 PM   #1197 (permalink)
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Good job on your sobriety and happy birthday. It only gets better.
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Old 04-09-2019, 09:02 AM   #1198 (permalink)
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Was thinking of you today H8D when I noticed that Boston was coming up .. GREAT work on staying sober and best of luck with your BQ, I've got to think cutting out booze has helped ya stay lean and mean as we get closing to race season.
I've replaced it with a pint of Ben and Jerry's. Fat kid likes his sweets. It hasn't hurt cutting out alcohol and probably made some weekend runs much more enjoyable along with a few new friends that seem to tag along for Saturday morning runs.
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Old 04-09-2019, 07:35 PM   #1199 (permalink)
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Also, after reading this book by Alan Carr I quit smoking cold turkey and I haven't looked back!!

Smokers wanting to quit, read this book!!!
http://prdupl02.ynet.co.il/ForumFiles_2/15119301.pdf
Thanks for posting that. Sincerely.
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Old 04-09-2019, 07:52 PM   #1200 (permalink)
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Went 7 days and 1 hour without. Iíll probably try it again. Need to work on keeping my wife happy and my son feeling proud of himself.

Serving others really helps with sobriety/sanity/one's soul.
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President Trump on building the wall:
"THIS IS WHERE WE HOLD THEM!!! THIS IS WHERE WE FIGHT!!! THIS IS WHERE THEY'RE DEPORTED!!!"

V.P.Pence:
BUILD THIS WALL, BOYS!!!

Fearless Indians:
Awe-Ooo!!!
CDA 455 is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
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