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Old 04-10-2018, 11:28 AM   #51 (permalink)
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Really?
Does any of the 4 cars have a sunroof?

Better?
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Old 04-10-2018, 11:28 AM   #52 (permalink)
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We've went through this before like 3 years ago with another daughter. S she should have expected me to have an attitude. It just didn't have time to sink in until today. We will work it out and it will be temporary, but although me and wife were basically sole mates, I feel the same as everybody else today that it should have been discussed beforehand being the main issue. And the shit?
I give it a week max and they will be in the house and the furniture out of the old spare bedroom. Hell, through tampons and showers in there and I give it 2 days and everything will take care of itself. Add her son and boyfriend and it may not even be that long. Thank GOD I replaced the old fuse panel with a nice new breaker panel. That 20 amp breaker will get tired after a while as well.

Me seems to think that although my foot will be placed on the ground firmly this evening, that it really will just solve itself pretty quickly.
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Old 04-10-2018, 11:31 AM   #53 (permalink)
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I moved home once when I was 32. I was transferring from one state to another (back home) for a new job and had to find a house, wait for settlement, etc.

That shit sucked. I handled groceries and cooking and as much as I loved my “roommates” it was terrible not having my own place. And my parents like me. I made it from August to Closing on the house in Dec.

I’m sure she doesn’t want to be there any more than you don’t want her there. Not being able to work is bullshit and an excuse. Unless she has cancer, “sickness” = lazy and can’t get it together. Put some sort of fee on the ground rent then maybe help her get her shit together and work to get her employed.

Coming at this with anger or laying the smack down with strict rules may backfire horribly. Tactfully Establish that this is temporary and get it in writing. This all comes after getting the wife onboard and explaining that this is causing you stress.
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Old 04-10-2018, 11:33 AM   #54 (permalink)
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Was it BigBowTieChevy who goes to houses and annoys people late at night?

If it doesn’t go smooth just have him come rock the trailer every night.
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Old 04-10-2018, 11:34 AM   #55 (permalink)
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Or man up and stop hiding behind others to get your agenda to pass.
true, but using code enforcement helps keep shit between him and the wife in a better place. after all, that is who he has to pay alimony to if shit goes bad.
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Old 04-10-2018, 11:35 AM   #56 (permalink)
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Doesn't have shit to do with your statement.
Wait so grown kids have issues in their life, want to come back in and mooch and set up camp on the property and that trumps a marriage? SAY WHAT?
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Old 04-10-2018, 11:36 AM   #57 (permalink)
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Sleep with the boyfriend. That’ll teach both the wife and step-daughter a lesson.
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Old 04-10-2018, 11:49 AM   #58 (permalink)
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Put a meter on their electricity. Charge twice the normal rate.
@Gittinwidit I have a 120VAC 20 amp (I think its 20 amps) meter available if you want it, just pay for shipping.

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Old 04-10-2018, 11:50 AM   #59 (permalink)
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Unless she has cancer, “sickness” = lazy and can’t get it together.
Unfortunately I didn't want to bring it up until you mentioned that stepdaughter was being treated for Uterine Cancer last year and missed a lot of days. She lost a very good job and liked it. This year has been several other unfortunate things but her sickness has been legit. She's a hard worker when she can work for I employed her back when I took up property management during the recession. Her job putting her out was bullshit but they all do it when they foresee the "disability" word. She will be working with my wife cleaning houses. Wife has opened up for more positions starting last weekend.
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Old 04-10-2018, 11:52 AM   #60 (permalink)
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Unfortunately I didn't want to bring it up until you mentioned that stepdaughter was being treated for Uterine Cancer last year and missed a lot of days. She lost a very good job and liked it. This year has been several other unfortunate things but her sickness has been legit. She's a hard worker when she can work for I employed her back when I took up property management during the recession. Her job putting her out was bullshit but they all do it when they foresee the "disability" word. She will be working with my wife cleaning houses. Wife has opened up for more positions starting last weekend.
Well IDK in that case I think your OK to be upset with some of that stuff but overall she needs you guys and has been dealt a shit hand. Hope all works out for you and she is able to get back on her feet and kick cancers ass.
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Old 04-10-2018, 12:00 PM   #61 (permalink)
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Her boyfriend has been a god's send. Unfortunately he's going through a divorce and paying out way too much money right now for child support. He said $2400/month. I find that crazy. I seem to think he was gambling on the camper idea being a permanent fix or he'd probably gone another direction?
But I hear he makes more money than the two of us combined so that's not the issue here either. But it don't matter how much a person makes, money doesn't buy happiness for everybody. He just bought her a brand new truck and he just bought himself a Harley being 2 of the cars. Then he has a company truck and another car just mysteriously appeared yesterday evening that I wasn't aware of.
But the Harley cover he had on it was a nice touch taking up my normal parking space. :-)

I'm not one to just go off and have always had a level head on my shoulders. The "family" card may get played this evening from my wife but in the end, the "marriage" card will matter more. We've done went through this before and it just baffles me to how it happened a second time.

Boyfriend seems to be a very nice guy. And I love the step-daughter like my own. So there's no bad blood here. Just a ridiculous idea that isn't going to work at all. They either pretty much need to find a campground that is suited year round or they just need to pack up and come on in the house and get it over with. I called the closest place and it's $550 a month. They can probably find something more off the path for cheaper. But there will most likely be a 2 car limit.

Pretty soon the camper will only be a bedroom and hangout anyways cause when shit gets full... It sure don't empty by itself.
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Old 04-10-2018, 12:03 PM   #62 (permalink)
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Wait so grown kids have issues in their life, want to come back in and mooch and set up camp on the property and that trumps a marriage? SAY WHAT?
Read your statement.

Grown ups does not equal kids
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Old 04-10-2018, 12:07 PM   #63 (permalink)
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Sleep with the boyfriend. That’ll teach both the wife and step-daughter a lesson.
Jerry, Jerry, Jerry......
Hell yeah.
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Old 04-10-2018, 12:22 PM   #64 (permalink)
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Unfortunately I didn't want to bring it up until you mentioned that stepdaughter was being treated for....
If that was my situation, I would see it as "that changes things"-
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Old 04-10-2018, 12:24 PM   #65 (permalink)
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your wife seems to have her head screwed on .. at least from the small interaction we've had... Just keep a firm footing in the "i'm not going to waiver on this decision" dept and you'll be fine
We had a situation kindof similar to the OP's we had to resolve about 2 years ago. Theres a thread on it in the TP. But basically i flipped shit like the posters here suggest too and the culprit still bitches about it to this day. But, the now wife knows where i stand on this type of issue and we have an understanding.
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Old 04-10-2018, 12:42 PM   #66 (permalink)
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If that was my situation, I would see it as "that changes things"-
It's not a throw-out situation here. She's always welcome to stay. But we all know it burden's the marriage quite a bit to have grown up children live back in. It's just that:
1. The camper idea was not a good one.
2. There wasn't any discussions involved about terms and such.
3. 4 vehicles is a bit much when I have a back yard to park extras. That Harley is going to gain a lot of attention right front dead center. Dude has no idea where he's at. My neighbor just lost a 4 wheeler trailer and all last year and my cameras saw it. But all my camera did was to let him see his shit get stole. They only "deter" not "secure".

And I'm WAY not worried about it anymore like it hit me this morning. And I knew 'ole cold hard factual in the face PBB would help. I think it was mainly the camper that really got to me. It may be a good thing to give us partial privacy especially at night. But I'm not going to go throwing resources at it knowing it's temporary. Or at least needs to be pulled around back on a dryer day. Then maybe we'll talk about a 50 amp connection and maybe a hard waterline...
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Old 04-10-2018, 01:01 PM   #67 (permalink)
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wait....a new harley and a new truck and they can't (won't) rent anywhere?

sell the camper and rent an apt.

can't believe this would even be an issue.
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Old 04-10-2018, 01:20 PM   #68 (permalink)
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She lost her job due to cancer treatment... they still have a 40ft camper and a Harley.... scratch whatever advice i gave- im out. No offense, there's just too much stuff going on.
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Old 04-10-2018, 01:31 PM   #69 (permalink)
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She lost her job due to cancer treatment... they still have a 40ft camper and a Harley.... scratch whatever advice i gave- im out. No offense, there's just too much stuff going on.
From my perspective, It's not much more than the crazy idea of dragging a camper onto your step dads / future father-in-laws house right up the side of it to live in.

I stay out of everybody's business. One can buy Harleys and new trucks all day and not have any money at all but just good credit. He makes payments on the 2.

Camper is a $3,500 camper, not a $35,000 camper. I called it Bertha. It's in the process of being redone, like an 80's model. Has potential but probably wouldn't be welcome in a nice campground.

Regardless, they are in some sort of situation where they need to stay somewhere and picked our place. And we need to have a big group discussion on terms, parking, timeline, and of course the idea of living in a damn camper in someone's side yard and not in a campground.

I'm just fortunate my stepdaughter found someone who seems to at least have good credit and cares about her. Just that he doesn't think things through when it comes to living arrangements.
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Old 04-10-2018, 01:36 PM   #70 (permalink)
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But yes 45acp, that is a very good point. And this is all too new to me and not all thought out just yet. If one can afford $1000+ in car payments but have to sponge on living with parents. I don't have a Harley and I choose to drive a 40 year old truck. And I don't make 6 figures. So is it legit to sponge off of a parent???
I think the intent is to save up to buy a piece of land to put the camper on. The boyfriend could end out being a thing of the past any day but I guess I got to look at it as the step-daughter will always be a part as long as the wife is.

I don't know what to say about the boyfriend. He travels a lot and sets up cranes for a living. Drives like 120k a year. Wears out a company truck in 3-4 years. Drives state to state around here. I basically just met him. I know he don't do drugs or even drink and kinda thought he was a tad bit of a stick in the mud but whatever makes the stepdaughter happy. For some (women especially) I guess a rich husband that travels a lot isn't a bad idea.

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Old 04-10-2018, 01:39 PM   #71 (permalink)
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From my perspective, It's not much more than the crazy idea of dragging a camper onto your step dads / future father-in-laws house right up the side of it to live in.

I stay out of everybody's business. One can buy Harleys and new trucks all day and not have any money at all but just good credit. He makes payments on the 2.

Camper is a $3,500 camper, not a $35,000 camper. I called it Bertha. It's in the process of being redone, like an 80's model. Has potential but probably wouldn't be welcome in a nice campground.

Regardless, they are in some sort of situation where they need to stay somewhere and picked our place. And we need to have a big group discussion on terms, parking, timeline, and of course the idea of living in a damn camper in someone's side yard and not in a campground.

I'm just fortunate my stepdaughter found someone who seems to at least have good credit and cares about her. Just that he doesn't think things through when it comes to living arrangements.
stepson seems like a real winner regardless of if he's paying any bills.
In a divorce, plugging away at some man's daughter while he's still married to another?
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Old 04-10-2018, 01:46 PM   #72 (permalink)
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stepson seems like a real winner regardless of if he's paying any bills.
In a divorce, plugging away at some man's daughter while he's still married to another?
Pretty much. Yep. Except stepdaughter's real dad lives off away from here and she never sees him. Probably being why the $2400/month child support / hush money I guess? But paperwork is in the works and the dude is legally separated. Can't you date around when separated? Probably not a good idea if seeing you're kids are of any importance though.


As said... I got enough issues of my own to make determinations. I just know there's house rules at my place.

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Old 04-10-2018, 01:55 PM   #73 (permalink)
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How did this get sprung on you? I'd flip the fuck out. Hell I flipped the fuck out when my wife brought home 2 kittens and they were gone the next morning .


Call the county on yourself? Tell them sorry but the county says you've got to get.

Buy my house in Il for them and buy buss tickets? Hell but my house and I'll throw in bus tickets, haha.

Burn the trailer down and rape their dog?
But they're his dogs...

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stepson seems like a real winner regardless of if he's paying any bills.
In a divorce, plugging away at some man's daughter while he's still married to another?
The fuck else you supposed to do?

OP, get your parking spot back ASAP! Lay down the law about timelines and get them out quick. I went through similar shit too and it ended in divorce for me. Also if dudes setting up cranes has making damn good money even in the south. He can afford to put the damn trailer in a park for a few months....
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Old 04-10-2018, 01:55 PM   #74 (permalink)
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But yes 45acp, that is a very good point. And this is all too new to me and not all thought out just yet. If one can afford $1000+ in car payments but have to sponge on living with parents. I don't have a Harley and I choose to drive a 40 year old truck. And I don't make 6 figures. So is it legit to sponge off of a parent???
I think the intent is to save up to buy a piece of land to put the camper on. The boyfriend could end out being a thing of the past any day but I guess I got to look at it as the step-daughter will always be a part as long as the wife is.

I don't know what to say about the boyfriend. He travels a lot and sets up cranes for a living. Drives like 120k a year. Wears out a company truck in 3-4 years. Drives state to state around here. I basically just met him. I know he don't do drugs or even drink and kinda thought he was a tad bit of a stick in the mud but whatever makes the stepdaughter happy. For some (women especially) I guess a rich husband that travels a lot isn't a bad idea.
You should still pee on him so he knows you are the alpha.
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Old 04-10-2018, 01:56 PM   #75 (permalink)
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Who is getting $2400 a month? The ones living in a trailer, clogging your driveway with 4 vehicles and robbing your water/electric?

Is this really your life? You really need to ask us our opinion here?
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