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-   -   Am i an ass hole? (https://www.pirate4x4.com/forum/showthread.php?t=2670496)

EMT 11-02-2018 06:31 AM

Am i an ass hole?
 
The sister in law has 3 kids ranging from about 4 ,7 and 10 years old. She is a piece of shit and the state is gonna take them and i told my wife i didnt want them. My own kids were about 13 years apart with the youngest now being 13 so ive basically been raising a kid for the last 26 years,ill be 50 next year. How big of an asshole does this make me?

twales 11-02-2018 06:35 AM

On a 1-10 scale, 5

MrShaft696 11-02-2018 06:37 AM

ON 1-10, 1.16

NewWifeSmell 11-02-2018 06:40 AM

4.7 Unless you are the baby daddy then it goes to 8.2.

CJF 11-02-2018 06:40 AM

Ass hole is one word. So, you're an asshole for spelling ass hole wrong.

Mighty Mats 11-02-2018 06:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by EMT (Post 44152052)
The sister in law has 3 kids ranging from about 4 ,7 and 10 years old. She is a piece of shit and the state is gonna take them and i told my wife i didnt want them. My own kids were about 13 years apart with the youngest now being 13 so ive basically been raising a kid for the last 26 years,ill be 50 next year. How big of an asshole does this make me?

how is this your fault? why is this your responsibility? You didnt pop these kids out. You didn't knock her up. Yes i understand the "moral dilemma" that you face, but it still isn't your problem.

And where is your brother in all this?

thumping 11-02-2018 06:51 AM

Yes, you're an asshole or you wouldn't be a part of the Pirate group. Being an asshole is part of the qualifications...:D


Considering we're close to the same age, I fully understand you not wanting to take on the responsibility of raising someone else's kids. Do I hate it for the kids? Without a doubt.

Tough spot to be in.

zlathim 11-02-2018 06:53 AM

It is a tough spot to be in, but I agree with your thinking. I'm assuming that it is your wife's sister, which makes it more difficult from a happy home perspective. Good luck.

2big bronco 11-02-2018 06:54 AM

I could see how your level of care could be 0 but your wifes may be 10. That makes you a 5 on the asshole scalebecause you are no longer on this ride solo.

Juztyn00 11-02-2018 06:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mighty Mats (Post 44152076)
how is this your fault? why is this your responsibility? You didnt pop these kids out. You didn't knock her up. Yes i understand the "moral dilemma" that you face, but it still isn't your problem.

And where is your brother in all this?

I'm guessing it's his wife's sister... It doesn't matter how much of an asshole we think you are, it's how much your wife thinks you are. It's not your problem but you are in a situation where you could step in and help the kids. Keep in mind that if the kids are aware that you had the option to take them, they will resent you for making them go to foster care for the rest of their lives too. Don't know how involved you've been in their lives up to this point or how screwed up the SIL has already made them. Lots of factors to consider..

0ILBURNER 11-02-2018 06:55 AM

So this is your current wife's sister's kids, right?
Probably tough on her to see her nieces/nephews go to foster care.
Talk about a no-win situation :(

Mighty Mats 11-02-2018 06:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Juztyn00 (Post 44152100)
Don't know how involved you've been in their lives up to this point or how screwed up the SIL has already made them. Lots of factors to consider..

This, if they were good kids I would consider taking them in, are there any other family members?

R O 11-02-2018 06:58 AM

any chance the dumb bitch will get her shit together sooner than later?

Az Scooter 11-02-2018 07:00 AM

It depends, if you just donít want them, I feel for you, and donít think you are exhibiting any asshole tendencies, if you take them anyways.
If you donít want them, and donít take them, and they end up in foster care, you are an over the top ass hole.
If you donít want them, and someone else takes them, you are not an asshole.

arse_sidewards 11-02-2018 07:03 AM

If your brother was a deadbeat and going to prison would you subject yourself to raising three of his deadbeat crotch fruit?

I don't think you're an asshole for not wanting to clean up three of your wife's sister's mistakes until you're in your 70s. If you were the baby daddy I'd say you have some responsibility for the mess and should clean it up but if you're not then I don't see this being your problem (well, other than the fact that you married into this train wreck of a family).

I hope your wife has other siblings because there's no winning hear. I'd run some numbers and figure out what a divorce would cost vs raising three kids.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mighty Mats (Post 44152104)
This, if they were good kids I would consider taking them in, are there any other family members?

She's had 4, 7 and 10yr to fuck them up. There is a very small chance of them being good kids. I highly doubt OP is going to be able to make them into "good kids". If they were "good kids" this thread wouldn't exist.

mrblaine 11-02-2018 07:04 AM

You can take them and resent your wife for all the bullshit that will ensue.
You can not take them and be resented for all the bullshit that will ensue. Pick one.

Inevitable 11-02-2018 07:04 AM

Nope

IEATRKS84 11-02-2018 07:06 AM

As much as your wife needs to take your feelings into this situation, you have to take hers in as well.

Technically those kids are your blood. To just let them rot away in the foster system is a rough deal. But to be perfectly honest, there is a very high chance those kids are long gone before they even get separated.

Tough break, sometimes the man in the relationship has to make the tough choices. Your wife might hate you in the short term, but after a long time will eventually agree with your decision. Such is marriage.

Id give you about a 6/10.

EMT 11-02-2018 07:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 0ILBURNER (Post 44152102)
So this is your current wife's sister's kids, right?
Probably tough on her to see her nieces/nephews go to foster care.
Talk about a no-win situation :(

Yes its the wifes sisters kids. They arent too screwed up but they have had no discipline. The sister in laws husband killed himself about 4 months ago,he was the baby daddy to the youngest and the others two's dad sure isnt a model citizen but he seems to be trying to get his shit straight. He takes all three of them for regular visitation. With a good lawyer he may get custody of his two but as the court papers read right now they are taking them away from him too because they say he should have known what condition the kids were living in. Which is partly true but he lives about 3 hours away in another state so im not sure he realized exactly how bad it was. I dont mind taking them temporary until someone gets their shit straight its on a permanent basis im saying no to. At the moment i dont even have a big enough house to hold 4 kids,id have to build on a couple more rooms.

blugreenformula 11-02-2018 07:12 AM

Pics of the sister in law's starfish?

void_of_light 11-02-2018 07:16 AM

Is there anyway to get them on a trial basis? Tell them right up front that if they don't act right you are shipping them off to foster care?

I don't have kids but I would take my nieces or any of my friends kids if I needed to, no hesitation, but they are all decent human beings.

If they were the devil spawn that some kids are, I would be hesitant to take them on too.

I would give them a chance, but my tolerance for their BS would be very low, which might be what they need.

arse_sidewards 11-02-2018 07:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by EMT (Post 44152132)
Tthe others two's dad sure isnt a model citizen but he seems to be trying to get his shit straight. He takes all three of them for regular visitation. With a good lawyer he may get custody of his two but as the court papers read right now they are taking them away from him too because they say he should have known what condition the kids were living in. Which is partly true but he lives about 3 hours away in another state so im not sure he realized exactly how bad it was.

Hire that man a good lawyer. Like get off of Pirate and do it now. It will be a hell of a lot cheaper than raising three kids that aren't yours and cause a hell of lot less conflict than you holding your ground and having them go to foster care.

Him taking the kids is the best possible outcome here.

thedonn007 11-02-2018 07:19 AM

That is a tough decision to make for sure. Could you foster them and give them back to the SIL once she gets in better shape?

posford 11-02-2018 07:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blugreenformula (Post 44152142)
Pics of the sister in law's starfish?

Under an hour and its said :smokin: Out-fuckin-standing

aczlan 11-02-2018 07:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by arse_sidewards (Post 44152148)
Hire that man a good lawyer. Like get off of Pirate and do it now. It will be a hell of a lot cheaper than raising three kids that aren't yours and cause a hell of lot less conflict than you holding your ground and having them go to foster care.
Him taking the kids is the best possible outcome here.

Ayep.

Aaron Z


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