Pirate4x4.Com : 4x4 and Off-Road Forum - Reply to Topic
 
Pirate4x4.Com : 4x4 and Off-Road Forum  

Go Back   Pirate4x4.Com : 4x4 and Off-Road Forum > Miscellaneous > General Chit-Chat > Am i an ass hole?
Notices

Thread: Am i an ass hole? Reply to Thread
Title:
  
Message:
Trackback:
Send Trackbacks to (Separate multiple URLs with spaces) :
Post Icons
You may choose an icon for your message from the following list:
 

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Pirate4x4.Com : 4x4 and Off-Road Forum forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

** A VERIFICATION EMAIL IS SENT TO THIS ADDRESS TO COMPLETE REGISTRATION!! **

Email Address:
Insurance
Please select your insurance company (Optional)

Log-in


Additional Options
Miscellaneous Options

Topic Review (Newest First)
01-09-2019 07:11 PM
gladman
Quote:
Originally Posted by Provience View Post
no, I think it was more directed at EMT, use the 15 year old as the easy excuse of 'I've got a lot of shit on my plate and am not prepared to take on more'
this. I have 3 kids. they are now almost grown (last one in college)

If you know you can't do it... don't do it I I totally think that is the right thing.
01-09-2019 04:42 PM
Provience
Quote:
Originally Posted by crowbar7 View Post
Uhh ok. I didn't realize I said I couldn't handle it. Was just confirming the 15 year old daughter comment. There are many of us here that man up on a daily basis then there are the others here who watch from the sidelines and criticize. No I know which one you 2 are. Good info thanks.
no, I think it was more directed at EMT, use the 15 year old as the easy excuse of 'I've got a lot of shit on my plate and am not prepared to take on more'
01-09-2019 03:57 PM
crowbar7
Quote:
Originally Posted by paragon View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by crowbar7 View Post
What the hell are you rambling about? Was there a point there and I missed it? Whatever it was went whoosh right over me.
here, I'll be succinct. If you can't handle a 15yo daughter, then you suck at parenting or they suck as a kid and it's pointless.
Uhh ok. I didn't realize I said I couldn't handle it. Was just confirming the 15 year old daughter comment. There are many of us here that man up on a daily basis then there are the others here who watch from the sidelines and criticize. No I know which one you 2 are. Good info thanks.
01-09-2019 03:47 PM
paragon
Quote:
Originally Posted by crowbar7 View Post
What the hell are you rambling about? Was there a point there and I missed it? Whatever it was went whoosh right over me.
here, I'll be succinct. If you can't handle a 15yo daughter, then you suck at parenting or they suck as a kid and it's pointless.
01-09-2019 01:54 PM
crowbar7
Quote:
Originally Posted by gladman View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by crowbar7 View Post
My daughter is 15 and this shit is going to kill me. Crazy is an understatement.
that there is your answer. I think you should just let everyone know that you just cannot do it. They'll understand or not, but, you know, when you are on a jet plane and they talk about 'in the event of an emergency' they always say, 'put your oxygen mask on first' because if you can't breathe, you can't save anyone else....

In this case, you know you just aren't able to help... say so. You are doing everyone a service by doing that.
What the hell are you rambling about? Was there a point there and I missed it? Whatever it was went whoosh right over me.
01-09-2019 12:53 PM
waterhorse No, at least, not because of this. (You may still qualify for other things)
01-09-2019 12:37 PM
squamch
Quote:
Originally Posted by EMT View Post
lol happy wife happy life but the upside is she is bout ready to pull her hair out too. Although she will never admit it i can see she is questioning her decision.


Fuck that. Happy spouse, happy house. Its a two way street.


My sister has no kids. I would not take her dog. My brother in law has no kids and lives on the other side of the country, so I can't comment on that part.
01-09-2019 12:01 PM
jeepyj
Quote:
Originally Posted by crowbar7 View Post
My daughter is 15 and this shit is going to kill me. Crazy is an understatement.
(Short thread hijack) She literally is. It's easier when you realize that she is not doing it intentionally. She has no idea how to handle it either. Be supportive. Read this. https://www.amazon.com/gp/offer-list...=used&qid=&sr=
01-09-2019 11:46 AM
gladman
Quote:
Originally Posted by crowbar7 View Post
My daughter is 15 and this shit is going to kill me. Crazy is an understatement.
that there is your answer. I think you should just let everyone know that you just cannot do it. They'll understand or not, but, you know, when you are on a jet plane and they talk about 'in the event of an emergency' they always say, 'put your oxygen mask on first' because if you can't breathe, you can't save anyone else....

In this case, you know you just aren't able to help... say so. You are doing everyone a service by doing that.
01-09-2019 11:35 AM
crowbar7
Quote:
Originally Posted by jeepyj View Post
I don't know if your older kid is a female or not, but if so, you will know what I'm talking about. In two years, when your 13 YO hits 15 and goes absolutely crazy, this situation will not help that at all. This WILL happen, be prepared.

Don't worry though. We'll be here to help you through it and tell you "We fucking told ya so! Dumbass!"

.


My daughter is 15 and this shit is going to kill me. Crazy is an understatement.
01-09-2019 11:09 AM
Gtrplyr78
Quote:
Originally Posted by EMT View Post
lol happy wife happy life but the upside is she is bout ready to pull her hair out too. Although she will never admit it i can see she is questioning her decision.
No wife - happier life

In either case that is not an easy thing to deal with regardless, you have my sympathy.
01-09-2019 10:29 AM
jeepyj I don't know if your older kid is a female or not, but if so, you will know what I'm talking about. In two years, when your 13 YO hits 15 and goes absolutely crazy, this situation will not help that at all. This WILL happen, be prepared.

Don't worry though. We'll be here to help you through it and tell you "We fucking told ya so! Dumbass!"

.
01-09-2019 10:18 AM
[email protected] You'll put in all the work of raising them, then they will want to "reconnect" with their biological parents when they turn 18 and the sister has turned over a new leaf after the hard work is done. You'll get zero credit and die resenting them because you never bought the new boat/truck/plane you always wanted.
01-09-2019 10:07 AM
Seabass How will these 3 new kids affect your 13 year old daughter. Will the next 5 to 7 years of her life be negatively impacted? You HAVE TO save for your retirement. If you don't you'll be the states or your kids burden. Will you be able to set enough for you and your wife in the next 20 years of working to raise 4 kids?


Good luck bud. It's a shit sandwich no matter what end you start at.
01-09-2019 09:59 AM
MattS How's the trailer?
12-31-2018 06:17 PM
EMT
Quote:
Originally Posted by Juztyn00 View Post
Ever notice in every one of these threads for PBB advice, the wife wins?
lol happy wife happy life but the upside is she is bout ready to pull her hair out too. Although she will never admit it i can see she is questioning her decision.
12-31-2018 06:14 PM
Juztyn00 Ever notice in every one of these threads for PBB advice, the wife wins?
12-31-2018 05:55 PM
DirtyComanche
Quote:
Originally Posted by EMT View Post
I told the wife this WILL NOT be a permanent situation or my ass will be moving to a trailer out by the pond ,she wasnt amused but knew i was probably serious.
Not a van down by the river?
12-31-2018 05:34 PM
EMT Well ive had the 3 crotch fruit for about 2 weeks now, im about ready to kick baby puppies but maybe it will be better once school starts. The kids arent necessarily bad kids,im just old and grouchy and its a big adjustment when your household size doubles over nite with 3 kids under the age of ten. So we will see how shit goes. I told the wife this WILL NOT be a permanent situation or my ass will be moving to a trailer out by the pond ,she wasnt amused but knew i was probably serious.
11-07-2018 05:59 PM
CDA 455
Quote:
Originally Posted by east_beast View Post
100% agreed. The adoption process is a nightmare and it's why so many end up going through Russia or China to adopt. It's literally easier and cheaper to adopt a kid from the other side of the planet than one from right down the street.
No shit????
11-07-2018 05:53 PM
ridenby
Quote:
Originally Posted by EMT View Post
The sister in law has 3 kids ranging from about 4 ,7 and 10 years old. She is a piece of shit and the state is gonna take them and i told my wife i didnt want them. My own kids were about 13 years apart with the youngest now being 13 so ive basically been raising a kid for the last 26 years,ill be 50 next year. How big of an asshole does this make me?
The biggest ever. Put them to work in the meth lab or pimp them out. Win ,win.
11-07-2018 01:45 PM
Jam Master Jay Regardless of if you are an asshole or not, It's ok to be an asshole.

Your first responsibility is to your immediate family. I know I wouldn't take in some messed up kids if it would compromise the quality of life for my own children and I wouldn't feel bad about it. Quality of life, paying for college, paying for weddings, paying for cars, other things a parent does for their kid. If any of those had to be compromised because you took on additional kids, that's not right or fair to your own kids. If you have to forfeit your retirement funds to pay for them, that's not right or fair to you and your wife.

I have two nephews and they're good kids and my brother and SIL are good people. If something happened to them I would take in my nephews, no different than they'd take in my kids if something happened to my wife and myself. That being said, we have kids the same age and we both have money that would go to supporting the kids so it wouldn't be a financial issue and I wouldn't be compromising my retirement years to be a parent.

I wouldn't take on small children, I wouldn't take on children that don't have any other financial support, and I wouldn't do anything to help a shitbag who has put themselves in a bad situation through their own poor life decisions.
11-06-2018 05:01 PM
4x4prepper EMT,

I guess it depends on if you are a strong enough Christian (if at all). If you propose this to GOD and ask him for an answer he will send you a sign, if it is to go ahead with it, then DESPITE your faults or weaknesses it will work out in the end.

Everyone likes to twisted what "my brother's keeper" really means. It means if your blood brother dies, WITHOUT a child alive to inherit the property and name, you were legally and morally obligated to go into the widow and help her conceive. This is where Cain, (imho) was being a wisenheimer to GOD when he said:

Genesis 4:9
And the LORD said unto Cain, Where is Abel thy brother? And he said, I know not: Am I my brother's keeper?

Besides being a liar (like his father Satan) Cain was saying I (being from the seed of Satan) have no legal or moral interest in Abel because he is of a different father (blood line) then me.

Contrast this to what Jesus said:

Luke 10:29 (the good Samaritan story)
But he, willing to justify himself, said unto Jesus, And who is my neighbour?

What was Jesus's ultimate response?

37 And he said, He that shewed mercy on him. Then said Jesus unto him, Go, and do thou likewise.

Then Mark 12:31
And the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these.

Then if the person was not too bright, what did Jesus say again?

Luke 10:27 And he answering said, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy strength, and with all thy mind; and thy neighbour as thyself.

> Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.

If you were these kids, what would you want your "uncle" to do?

Watch the video by Everlast (not that I am a big a fan of the group with the foul language ) "Long at All"? with the homeless man riding the bike.


Legally you are not your brother's keeper to these kids. The question is how much do you love your wife and how much love will you show her and how much mercy will you show these children?

Could they be like the kid that strangled his mother to death in Florida over bad grades? Or the one that killed his grandparent the same week over a video game, absolutely! BUT, GOD is a shield against evil and if you do something GOD approves of then not even the likes of Satan, Soros, or Obama can stop you.

When you reject these children, remember in your old age, they will be running the country, not you.

If it was me, here is what I would do. I would get the three kids, tell them if you want to NOT live in foster care, here are the rules:

#1 You never raise a hand or voice to my wife. You do what she says, like my own children. If you have an issue, feel free to yell or hit me, just know you are getting it back in like manner if you tick me off too much. I have 50+ years of being an arse and get in some practice in my spare time on Pirate4x4. :-D

#2 I am legally adopting you and you are getting my last name. Until you are 18 -AND- out of my house and on your own, you are not to see these people at all (mother and/or father). GOD gave you to them to take care and they cared more about themselves, then you, You will be the thing I think of when I get up in the morning and before I go to bed. You will be more precious to me then gold.

#3 You are doing chores and getting part time jobs to help carry your own weight and build character. I certainly will be working more to support you when I should be thinking about retiring and storing away gold.

#4 Tell the parents (aka egg and sperm donors) in front of the kids (except maybe the 4 year old) You adults have two choices.

Choice #1 Your kids can be legally adopted by me and become my kids and live a decent life in a household where they will be loved. They can inherit what I have equally with my own flesh and blood when I grow old and die. Even if it is only $1000 each, it is more then you have now to give them. When they are 18 AND out of my house, they are then free to contact you, move in with you, or totally ignore you. Otherwise you have a restraining order not to be within the state of OK until that time. As for the choice of contact after 18 years of age, it is up to them though they will still be MY kids.

I suggest you use the time over the coming years to build a life for yourself where you can at least consider inviting them over to your own house for a vacation once they turn 18.

Choice #2 You keep on doing the wonderful job of providing for your kids as you are now, that GOD had entrusted to your care. I wash my hands of the matter. Though you all are welcome at family gatherings as in-laws.

"Without love you got nothing."
11-06-2018 03:44 PM
zif Take the kids and nail her for support. if she grows up she'll take them back. They your wife's relatives? Yours? You can pick your friends. You're stuck with family.
11-06-2018 03:36 PM
87manche
Quote:
Originally Posted by jaluhn View Post
Or he might have the opportunity to spend 10 more years of his life miserable and broke instead of enjoying a part of the very limited amount of time we all have on this earth.... May not be the kid's fault, but doesn't mean he should have any obligation to pick up the pieces of the sister in law's failures either.

At the end of the day do what you think is right. Not something any of us can decide for you. The question I'd ask is which would be worse... dealing with possibly POS kids for 10+ years or feeling guilty that you could have helped them but didn't (combined with possibly being hated by your wife). Hard place to be.

Being honest about it all is important, and kudos to you for being willing to ask on here and admit/talk about it.
this.

everyone talking about how the kid's aren't at fault and deserve a shot, fuck you.

it's always about the children. What other things do you justify for the children then?

EMT has done his duty as a parent and citizen. He's raised his kids, why should someone elses kids be his responsibility?

don't do it because you feel obligated. You will resent the kids, you will resent everything about it and it will fucking ruin you.
If you do it because yo uwant to, fine, but I wouldn't bow to anyone telling me I had to simply because I was related to them. They're not the ones that have to commit, so fuck them.

as to asshole? no. You're not an asshole. Well, maybe you are, but not because you dn't feel obligated to clean up someone else's mess.
This thread has more than 25 replies. Click here to review the whole thread.

Posting Rules
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 11:03 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 4
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0 ©2011, Crawlability, Inc.
User Alert System provided by Advanced User Tagging (Pro) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2019 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
vBulletin Security provided by vBSecurity v2.2.2 (Pro) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2019 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.