|Today 12:35 AM|
I cut back because the Dr. said I had some signs of peripheral neuropathy caused by B-12 deficiency. That's basically stabbing pins and needles. Alcohol messes with your body's ability to metabolize the B-complex vitamins.
She gave me some supplements and they didn't really work, which I suppose is the Dr's way of demonstrating that it doesn't matter what you do, alcohol intake is the problem.
However, after cutting my drinking in ~1/2, the condition cleared up. Really, about 10 days after the Dr. visit, cleared right up.
My blood work keeps coming back good too. I'm convinced by research my cholesterol is in balance due to my copious intake of ethanol. Very good science for that.
I know that sobriety/12-step people are just praying as hard as they can for me to have a big systemic failure Sorry boys, I've been to a thousand of your meetings, I know exactly how your little minds think.
However, the damage done to my life by those hysteric Puritans is irrevocable. To them, it doesn't matter, since they lost limbs, killed their kids, killed someone, etc, so the fact I will never have anything allowed in my life except material possessions is nothing to them. And, as I found out, the rest of society outside sobriety circles was eager to throw my life away, they couldn't work fast enough to fuck me up, even before I drank alcohol
So I'll tip a G&T back for you guys, since I know none of you like that drink uke: My greatest self-inflicted health problem right now is my intake of Carbs.
|Yesterday 11:17 PM|
|Little Red Zuk||
I've been following this thread for awhile now. I've been a steady drinker of 3-4 drinks a night for a long time. Always had a good time playing league darts, hanging out in a comfy local bar for other events. Recently, the bar I hung out at closed, so I switched to a different bar. I realized I was leaving my truck there more often, I think due to stronger pours and some depression issues that caused me to go "Just one more." often over my normal limit... I also found myself being a bigger asshole to the sometimes-kinda-sorta-girlfriend, and the smallest things would set me off when I got home.
So I started thinking about cutting back, but either a shit day made me want to numb myself, or just the habit or boredom found me in the bar hanging out again, even without darts or football. I then started getting mad at myself about it, thinking I screwed up again, and then the attitude would tank again, and then that would make me want another drink. This has continued for a couple of months.
Now, I am preparing for inner ear surgery, and the doc said to stop all booze, ibuprofen, multi-vitamins, and energy drinks a week before the procedure. So that was a kick to actually be far more conscious about it, rather than allow myself fall into the habit.
So now I am 4 days without a drink. I know that doesn't sound like much, but it's probably been 10-12 years that I've gone that long without even a beer in that time period. Even in that time, I've been able to go to the bar and just have a soda and water. (This bar is also where I eat a lot of my meals) My procedure is coming up this Wednesday, and after that, I know I'll be on the couch for almost a week just trying to recover. So in interest of the procedure, I will have been forced to go 2 weeks without drinking, and I'm not sure I can say when I've gone that long without a drink.
I don't know if I am or just think I am, but I seem to be sleeping better already. I was able to get up this morning and get some errands done, where before on a Saturday morning I would have nursed some coffee on the sofa, before going back up to retrieve my truck. So I am going to continue the non-drinking after this surgery, and see what happens.
Thanks for listening. I can't post this on Facebook or anything, because I don't want to worry Mom, as many on her side of the family were alcoholics, and I've pretty much hidden it from the family.
|08-01-2019 07:35 AM|
I hate hills.
I also don't like trail running too much.
My running friends know this about me.
If I'm lucky a guy in town will be able to run with me and we can make it fun. He just started training for Javalina Jundred.
I'm looking forward to figuring out my Trekking pole/handheld skill level. I've never run with poles and NOT had my vest. I'm thinking I can get through this run with just a handheld. If I can it opens up a TON of possibilities for future ultra marathons (not sure the wife knows I'd do another, or kind of want to) if I can get by with just a handheld between aid stations.
I'm telling myself it isn't a race it's just a "supported long run" for fun but, if there are only 10 people like last year (due to a major fire and tons of smoke) I could POTENTIALLY be in the running for the overall win. Only the overall winner gets an award. I'd be a big fish in a small pond if I won. I might even tell them to give it to last place even if it says winner. I'm more hoping they give out a Kleen Kanteen pint cup. $80 for a stainless cup I could buy plenty of...but it doesn't have the run/memories tied to it. I'd blow $80 on beer and it wouldn't last as long as the cup. I have the same cup from a different race at work and never use it. Wife asked why I was doing it (we're camping this weekend) and I told her "well we had nothing scheduled that weekend when I signed up and I want to check out the area. You won't want to hike there so this does both." She wouldn't hike there because she wouldn't want to hike 15+ miles with a 20 month old. Uphill for the whole first half.
|08-01-2019 06:16 AM|
As a runner I can really appreciate the added clarity in the morning, not feeling fluffy and lethargic, etc etc. What race/route are you doing on Saturday?
Good work on Day 72 man. Rooting for ya.
|07-31-2019 02:35 PM|
72. Now I spend my time arguing on the internet.
When I controlled my drinking I didn't enjoy it.
When I enjoyed my drinking I didn't control it.
That's so fucking true. COCamper put it up somewhere else and said it came from here. It's pretty easy for me to remember the order because of how true it is. The annoying thing now is my step-father-in-law who "doesn't drink", but "had a few on the plane" for the first time blah blah blah....asked me if I drank at a wedding, then almost like peer pressure brought in the "not even one. I mean it's a wedding" type talk. I wanted to say "replace drink with heroin, or meth, or weed, or cocaine and ask me why I didn't do any of those? Weed is legal but you're not asking me why I didn't smoke a joint at the wedding. why not? "
I have some bullshit 23-24 mile uphill run Saturday. At least I won't be doing it hungover as shit. I'll probably feel the same way around Noon on Saturday as I would at 8am if I drank 6-9 beers Friday night at the lake maybe with some rum mixed in. At least I'll make the 4:45 am wake up call to get to the race start. this not drinking thing is bullshit.
|07-16-2019 10:45 AM|
1,000 DAYS?!?!!?! DAMN SON! I'm like....carry the two....divide....google that shit....WAYS behind you.
I did hear someone, when talking about a running streak, say 100 is the first one to hit, then it's 1,000 and after that it's stuff like "how many weekends you can do 20 milers" and weird shit (runners are weird) like that. I guess "how many family gatherings" or "how many birthday parties" without booze you can start counting.
|07-16-2019 10:09 AM|
Yeah, I know its more habit than anything, got in the truck to drive to work this morning, first thing I reached for was my can of chew. There wasn't one in my pocket, but there was a can in the door, I left it alone. Probably been 25 years since I didn't have a dip on the way to work.
engnmonkey- Congrats on the personal milestone. 1000 days is awesome and I look forward to joining that club at some point.
|07-16-2019 09:50 AM|
Congrats on the progress and thanks for bumping this thread.
Today is a personal milestone for me. 1000 days. That sounded impossible at one point. To anyone trying to kick the habit, stay strong.
One day at a time
|07-16-2019 09:39 AM|
18 months...damn. Even a year seems like forever and a day away while at the same time being a "meh" kind of feeling. I think it's slightly easier for my brother in law not to drink now since I'm "sober" or whatever. Maybe it's the FOMO or maybe he just dind't want to do it alone. Dunno. Dunkare. I quit tobacco (a few times) pretty easy just by not buying it anymore. It kind of felt odd but I didn't really miss it. Yeah I've smoked a few cigarettes since "quitting" but every time it's kicked my ass and I remember it not really phasing me when I smoked 5-6 a day. More habit than anything.
My grandma quit by throwing away lighters. My mother (15+ year "closeted" smoker) said she would find full cigarettes around the house in their usual locations. Grandma smoked and drank coffee so the unused cigarette was left next to her chair where she'd usually finished her coffee. Step father said his dad quit (cigars) the same way. Chewed cigars for a while but never lit them. Eventually quit buying them. I watched a guy in my office "quit" then bum a few dips from a guy until that guy quit. Just make sure you don't buy them, and if you REALLY want to be smart...put that 10% into a jar so you don't ACTUALLY have the money you haven't been spending. I'm not sure where the money I spent on beer came from. I'm always broke now.
|07-16-2019 09:00 AM|
Nice update H8DWINGS and congrats on the new PR's and the solid blood work results. Earlier this year I did a full panel of blood work along with various overdue Dr. visits. Felt good to re-establish a base line and see that everything was working as it should.
Yesterday was 18 months for me... What did I do to celebrate? Vowed to kick another vice to the curb! I've been a smoker/chewer for a long time, decided its time to put that shit away for good. I know it won't be easy, and so far, it hasn't been, but fawk it, I can do it.
|07-16-2019 08:28 AM|
Blood work done yesterday. Cholesterol is the LOWEST it has ever been. This includes when I set two marathon PRs (I beat them this year after being sober for 110 days or something like that) and thought I was in such great shape. Peak leves are from 2016 when I ran a 3:13 marathon which WAS my Personal Record/Best until this year. I'm 95% sure just quitting drinking dropped my cholesterol that much. LDL is bad. HDL is good. Since college I've remembered the difference because HDL is "High Density" and it's like your friend saying "Hi" to you. You want friends so you want High Density Lipoproteins. So while my HDL has dropped to it's lowest my LDL has come down into an area closer to under 100. I blame that on being a fat kid and liking ice cream and sweets and sodas. Currently on a 7 up binge but Bubly and low sugar Gatorade has worked well FOR ME. I tried some Heineken 0% beer and some Lagunitas Hop sparkling water. I drank 5 Heinekens and realized I was PROBABLY chasing a buzz but it never came. I just liked the taste...but it's like sex with your pants on. Just doesn't do it for me. Same with HOP Sparkling water. I don't miss the flavor of beer that much. Plus I don't feel like hammered dog shit in the morning. Oh and it's been since before Memorial Day weekend this time.
I'm 5'9" and the scale read 170 lbs last night.
Total: 165 (Peak 229)
HDL 56 (Peak 69)
LDL 105 (Peak 142)
Triglycerides: 37 (Peak 91)
|06-14-2019 01:31 PM|
I'm happy without it. Heck I'm going wheeling for the first time (hopefully) into Rubicon next weekend. I just spent $400 for a locker, tow strap, shackles, 2 1310 u joints and strap kits from Summit. I don't exactly have money for much else since I'm (somewhat) smart about using my credit card.
EDIT: 4 weeks and 1 day today. Tried THC and I don't like it. As other said it just seemed like a substitute.
|06-14-2019 10:49 AM|
|06-14-2019 09:24 AM|
|06-14-2019 05:31 AM|
|fredycruger||i had noticed alcoholics, pill abusers /crackheads dont like weed|
|06-13-2019 07:16 PM|
|06-13-2019 12:55 PM|
3 weeks and 3 days. I thought it was at least a month at this point. A month is a few days after Fathers Day weekend. This week my wife is in Mexico so I'm "single dad" with grandma watching my son during the day. I got my alternator reinstalled in my 89 Cherokee again (for the 4th time) after doing it wrong for 5 hours. Apparently they timing chain is held in by studs that hold the bracket for the alternator on by studs. I wasn't even drinking when I took it apart either. Just not paying attention.
Tried CBDs and not much happened. Tried a THC edible (candy bar). Both times treated it like it was hard liquor and double digit THC = double digit alcohol because my brain said that was normal. Not really my thing. Might try it again if I'm feeling rich. Shit aint cheap compared to beer. If anyone has strains or suggestions I'm open to it but I highly (no pun intended) it can match the feeling of being drunk stumbling around the house or blankly staring at the television or talking shit on the internet thinking it's funny.
Oh and I'm helping pace a friend through Western States 100 weekend. Oh and I kind of recognize how much other people want things their way and never want to change/admit they're wrong now. Weird shit happens when you're sober.
|06-03-2019 02:09 PM|
Congrats to everyone who chose to make this big step, and thoughts of strength as you make your new path.
Today is 23 years sober for me. As others have said... I'd love to see if anything has changed with my drinking problem being that it's been that long. I know based on past failures that it would be a big mistake for me. I'm just not wired the same as other people, and normal drinking is not something I could ever count on.
Every stupid thing I ever did was somehow related to drinking. I'm blessed having been given the strength to start this journey... and to continue it.
To those who are just getting started, it gets better with time.
Good luck to all of you. And thanks to everyone who posts to support their efforts.
|06-03-2019 07:48 AM|
Oh and I missed a cool local beer party event in a park PLUS some "rare bottle' share I could have joined with some stuff I had. This weekend is camping with people I have a feeling will throw out the "oh now you're not drinking again? Are you training?" nonsense and I'll just reply with "no I just don't feel like a beer/drink right now. Is that okay, or do I need to have one so you won't comment or focus on what I'm drinking?"
I'm still waiting for the chance to pick up my wife, and maybe her girlfriends, after a "girls night now" where they all get shitty (but that fun/happy shitty, not sad shitty) and drive them home. She's pretty funny/fun when she gets there.
|05-31-2019 02:25 PM|
|05-31-2019 02:07 PM|
I get to wake up and get the timing chain for my cherokee tomorrow. Oh and the wife knows she could get plastered and I could get her. So I got that going for me.
|05-31-2019 12:37 PM|
H8DWINGS- thanks. It was kind of weird to see 500 days pop up when I googled "how many days since 1.15.2018". I really had no idea. Maybe it will be another 500 days before I google that again...
East_Beast- Yes, I do believe genetics plays a big role in it. I come from a long line of heavy drinkers, that is no excuse, just reality. If I was smart, I would have recognized that long ago and made changes.
Tin Roof- Good for your son and I hope he can keep on the path he is on. It sounds like he is already seeing the benefits and that makes it easier. Tough situation with your wife and I can relate more than I wish I could. I know the FOMA (fear of missing alcohol) is very real and very strong for my wife.
Mudd- dust off a project, it doesn't matter what it is, and get busy with it. It will keep you busy and keep your mind off having a drink. Hell, I started cleaning out my garage one night shortly after I quit, think it was close to 2am and I had to force myself to stop and I never really thought about a drink because I as so busy finding shit! I can not believe how much I have gotten done since I quit because I don't sit idle with a drink in my hand. My garage fridge is well stocked with alcohol and I see it every day. For me, when I reach around a beer to grab a seltzer water, that's a small victory that only I get to celebrate.
Here's to a Friday night without booze to all my fellow quitters and those that want to. Stay strong and enjoy the morning!
|05-31-2019 12:19 PM|
|05-31-2019 12:06 PM|
Just do like everyone else here does. Look at how long it's been. Think of the streak you have going. What's the longest you've done anything? How many things have you quit? Getting old sucks. It kind of sucks admitting you've been doing it wrong for a while too. If you only drink at home just quit buying booze. I quit smoking because I quit buying cigarettes. The hard part of that was turning friends down when they asked if I wanted a smoke. Somehow drinking, or not drinking, is easier. It's just the shitty days I have at work where I can "get away from it all" for a few hours of drinking and maybe bring a smile to my face that get hard for me for the first few times they come up. I even told my wife so. "I could make all of this go away for a few hours and not have to deal with it." Doesn't change it happening or it going on. Might even help me deal with a family member death in the future because I watched my uncle drink it away when his dad died.
|05-31-2019 11:56 AM|
I been avoiding posting here since my last one whenever the heck that was. I did stop for a few months then my ex moved out and I started up again.
I am not someone who drinks till they drop, nor do I drink out of control. I sorta like the buzz and challenge it brings when I do stuff. My drink is Rum with Mist (50/50) and I can do 2 or 3 cups. I always eat and drink plenty of water before I end the day to avoid avoid hangovers.
I call myself an alcoholic cuz I do or want to do this everyday and my body hurts from doing it for so long. I think it has been around 12 years now. I go a week without sometimes and justify starting up again since I went so long without it.
I would like to stop and I am gonna try again. I guess I gotta somehow keep myself occupied and stay out cuz I the only place I drink is at home.
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