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Topic Review (Newest First)
01-16-2020 05:16 PM
ADD I survived a week in Cabo San Lucas. At an all inclusive resort for a work conference. Not gonna lie, it was a little hard the first 2 nights, but then it was like nothing again.

My business partner got so shit face drunk on night 2, and spent the entire night puking his guts out with his head in the toilet. (I got some great pics and video from it though). He slept the entire next day trying to recover, while I went to the workshops feeling great.
It was then that I realized I was making the right choice.

My next big hurdles will be my own bachelor party and wedding at the end of this year. Will see how it goes.
Monday was 4 months for me....

Congrats to everyone else who is still keeping on
01-16-2020 03:25 PM
H8DWINGS I occasionally text my wife "X months" and get an emoji back. Thankfully I didn't quit a month early. No one wants to quit drinking on 4/20.
01-16-2020 12:37 PM
COcamper
Quote:
Originally Posted by H8DWINGS View Post
Who celebrates losing or quitting? What a weirdo

Good job man. You're kind of an inspiration at times for me. Sucks about the funeral. After going to my grandfathers and seeing one uncle just pretty much drink it away, and my dad was there like 20+ years sober I realize now the strength it takes to not drown your sorrows away.

would your friend call you something like a "sissy lala" for raising a sparkling water or diet Dr. Pepper to him? "cheers fucker. I know you hated this shit and I hate every day you're not here...so we're even."




I definitely did the "I'm not as bad as _____" myself. I realize now how others could have said the same thing and put my name in the blank. I have like 4 months to go. I kind of stopped counting the days or weeks and it occurs to me at the months. Even then it's a solid "meh" and that's how it should be, to me. "yay. congratulations on being a grown up. welcome to the party."
Thanks man, and back at you! I think inspiration comes from many in this thread and elsewhere...

It was a very nice memorial service, and a part of it was a toast of whiskey. I had my glass in hand (sans the whiskey) and raised it proudly! I know that no one cared or noticed what was in anyone's glass, I certainly didn't!

I think "celebration" was the wrong choice of words, as I haven't "celebrated" any of the personal milestones I have reached. I've acknowledged them to myself, basically gave myself an "atta boy" and carried on, more or less the same as your "Meh". I kept track for the first year (it was something that helped me at first, then I just continued until the 1 year mark), but haven't since other than I know what 1/15 means to me.

64Trvlr- Thank you for posting in this thread, if I remember correctly, you posted a month or so ago about hitting 30 years, that is awesome and truly inspiring.
01-15-2020 11:22 AM
64Trvlr
Quote:
Originally Posted by thecj3man View Post
Last Friday, January the 10th, was 4 years sober for me. It still seems like almost yesterday that I didn't have that first drink.
Congrats on 4 years!!

Amazing how the days go by isn't it?


Quote:
Originally Posted by COcamper View Post
January 15th is more significant to me than my real birthday...

Today is 2 years without alcohol.

I had to go back a few pages to find my post above from one year ago. Saved me some time typing it out, as all of it still applies 1 year later.

How am I going to celebrate my "birthday"? Unfortunately I have a funeral to attend for a very good family friend, one I have known for 30+ years. I know the drinks will be free flowing and I will raise a glass in his honor, it will just contain something different than it would have 2 years ago. Kind of crazy how different events over the past 2 years have somehow aligned with my sobriety, serves as a good reminder that I'm going down the right path for me.

Stay strong everyone.
Congrats on 2 years today!

I have never found anything that being drunk or drinking will help or make better. Since I've been sober I've been to at least a dozen funerals, 3 weddings, 13 surgeries, had my leg cut off and none of that was worth having a drink over.

Waking up sober is a great feeling isn't it?
01-15-2020 10:00 AM
H8DWINGS
Quote:
Originally Posted by COcamper View Post
January 15th is more significant to me than my real birthday...

Today is 2 years without alcohol.

I had to go back a few pages to find my post above from one year ago. Saved me some time typing it out, as all of it still applies 1 year later.

How am I going to celebrate my "birthday"? Unfortunately I have a funeral to attend for a very good family friend, one I have known for 30+ years. I know the drinks will be free flowing and I will raise a glass in his honor, it will just contain something different than it would have 2 years ago. Kind of crazy how different events over the past 2 years have somehow aligned with my sobriety, serves as a good reminder that I'm going down the right path for me.


Stay strong everyone.
Who celebrates losing or quitting? What a weirdo

Good job man. You're kind of an inspiration at times for me. Sucks about the funeral. After going to my grandfathers and seeing one uncle just pretty much drink it away, and my dad was there like 20+ years sober I realize now the strength it takes to not drown your sorrows away.

would your friend call you something like a "sissy lala" for raising a sparkling water or diet Dr. Pepper to him? "cheers fucker. I know you hated this shit and I hate every day you're not here...so we're even."




I definitely did the "I'm not as bad as _____" myself. I realize now how others could have said the same thing and put my name in the blank. I have like 4 months to go. I kind of stopped counting the days or weeks and it occurs to me at the months. Even then it's a solid "meh" and that's how it should be, to me. "yay. congratulations on being a grown up. welcome to the party."
01-15-2020 09:34 AM
COcamper
Quote:
Originally Posted by COcamper View Post
Once again, I'm quoting myself as I check in here...

Today is 1 year without alcohol. Wow, that feels really good and yet really weird to say/type. I'll share a few things I have learned over the past year with the hopes that maybe, just maybe it will help one person.

Let me preface it by saying: I am no expert on this, I have not received any professional help, hell, I haven't even really had a person to lean on when things got tough. In other words, I created this problem and I am determined to fix it. That WILL not work for everyone, it might not work for anyone, but it's working for me so I'm running with it.

I feel no need to share how much I used to drink, or for how long I had been drinking that much. That will serve no purpose except someone might twist it to their benefit, i.e. "well, I'm not as bad off as xxx, so I must be good..."

If you are reading this thread, I'm betting you aren't reading it for the entertainment value, if so, sorry to disappoint. Something got you to at least think about your drinking and to take a look in this thread. I have no clue what that was- Maybe it was hoping to see that you aren't as bad off as some, maybe you are looking for that golden nugget of wisdom that makes all your problems go away, maybe its hoping there is that one person that says "I quit drinking and it was the worst thing I ever did". Whatever your reason for wandering into this thread may be, I feel pretty confident in saying you won't find your answer here, but you will find a bunch of people that will lend you an ear, offer advice, and share their experiences. To me, that has been more valuable than anything else.

Sorry for the rambling, with all of that said, here are a few things I learned over the past 12 months:
- It's difficult, and that is a huge understatement! You can read and apply all of the acronyms or quotes you want, but I think it really does come down to just getting through one "thing" at a time. What that "thing" is will vary greatly. It may be the next hour, the next day, a birthday party, a Friday afternoon, a Sunday brunch, etc. The point is- set a short term goal- I will not have a drink for the next hour, rinse and repeat.
- You will find a sweet tooth that will make you want to fight a class room full of six year olds for their Halloween bucket! That's ok, enjoy your new found excitement over a bowl of ice cream, the hangover is much more enjoyable!
- Find something to occupy your time. I had to keep busy, especially during the "drinking hours", which for me was any time I wasn't working. This was actually pretty easy at the beginning and it felt good to see progress on projects. If you don't have something to occupy your time, now is a great time to pick up a new hobby, and it can be as simple as reading a book you have wanted to read or coloring a page in a coloring book. For me I cleaned my garage from top to bottom for the first time in 14+ years. That kept me busy for a lot of evenings and weekends, and there was, and still is, a fridge full of beer in the garage. Did I reach for that fridge on more than one occasion? Of course I did, but I wouldn't allow myself to open it, I would refocus on the task at hand and get through that "thing" without a drink, then start on the next "thing"...
- I kept a calendar (the real paper kind) and I looked forward to every morning that I could put another check mark on the previous day. Over the course of a year I can look back with fondness on different milestones that I in no way planned. The one that will stick with me for a long time- day 250 just happened to be on my daughters 20th birthday. Seriously, I can't make that shit up and it was just another one of many "moments" that reinforced to me that I was making strides in the right direction.
- Sleep- I did not think it was possible to get a good nights sleep without alcohol. The first week will only reinforce this notion. I can honestly say, sober sleep is fawkin awesome. You'll have to trust me on that one until you experience it...

Sorry for the long winded post.

Thanks to everyone that has offered support and shared their stories. If I can be of any help, please don't hesitate to reach out.
January 15th is more significant to me than my real birthday...

Today is 2 years without alcohol.

I had to go back a few pages to find my post above from one year ago. Saved me some time typing it out, as all of it still applies 1 year later.

How am I going to celebrate my "birthday"? Unfortunately I have a funeral to attend for a very good family friend, one I have known for 30+ years. I know the drinks will be free flowing and I will raise a glass in his honor, it will just contain something different than it would have 2 years ago. Kind of crazy how different events over the past 2 years have somehow aligned with my sobriety, serves as a good reminder that I'm going down the right path for me.

Stay strong everyone.
01-13-2020 10:48 AM
H8DWINGS
Quote:
Originally Posted by denverd1 View Post
Thank you. Wasn't a completely dry weekend, but I wasn't drunk either. Normally, I'd uber everywhere to avoid DUI concerns, but drove everywhere and actually remember the weekend. I'm enjoying having a clear mind and some self control. Had a sober Sunday. Feeling pretty good about things.
Being the designated driver is the easy "cop out" for me to say when people ask why I quit because telling them "when is it ever a bad idea to be a sober driver?" The clear mind is a really nice thing. Beer goggles don't just work on the wimmins.
01-13-2020 09:48 AM
thecj3man Last Friday, January the 10th, was 4 years sober for me. It still seems like almost yesterday that I didn't have that first drink.
01-13-2020 09:46 AM
denverd1
Quote:
Originally Posted by H8DWINGS View Post
Just had a late family Christmas. Whiskey and wine flowing. People kept offering me a drink and I kept saying no. It kind of got annoying but I wasn't the only one there not drinking which seemed odd TO ME. Cousin is trying to get pregnant so she didn't want to drink, cousin's wife is 8 weeks pregnant so she wasn't drinking. Other people drinking seemed like they could hold their alcohol more responsibly than me.

denverd1 good job. I congratulate you. Being proud of not spending 3 hours doing nothing but drinking is a cool thing to be proud of. What might you have accomplished with 3 hours of drinking before the flight other than sitting in a bar doing nothing? How is that any different than sitting in the terminal playing Clash of Clans of Fortnite? My wife is having a bunch of friends over Friday for a dinner. Sadly I won't be able to feed them booze and get them all fired up and drunk. They're on a "dry January" and if you can make it through all those conferences and work travel without drinking I am confident you can make it through a Friday night dinner. You can't expense the drinks at home.
Thank you. Wasn't a completely dry weekend, but I wasn't drunk either. Normally, I'd uber everywhere to avoid DUI concerns, but drove everywhere and actually remember the weekend. I'm enjoying having a clear mind and some self control. Had a sober Sunday. Feeling pretty good about things.
01-13-2020 08:45 AM
H8DWINGS Just had a late family Christmas. Whiskey and wine flowing. People kept offering me a drink and I kept saying no. It kind of got annoying but I wasn't the only one there not drinking which seemed odd TO ME. Cousin is trying to get pregnant so she didn't want to drink, cousin's wife is 8 weeks pregnant so she wasn't drinking. Other people drinking seemed like they could hold their alcohol more responsibly than me.

denverd1 good job. I congratulate you. Being proud of not spending 3 hours doing nothing but drinking is a cool thing to be proud of. What might you have accomplished with 3 hours of drinking before the flight other than sitting in a bar doing nothing? How is that any different than sitting in the terminal playing Clash of Clans of Fortnite? My wife is having a bunch of friends over Friday for a dinner. Sadly I won't be able to feed them booze and get them all fired up and drunk. They're on a "dry January" and if you can make it through all those conferences and work travel without drinking I am confident you can make it through a Friday night dinner. You can't expense the drinks at home.
01-10-2020 06:38 PM
ADD Just got to Cabo today. Gonna be at this all inclusive resort for a week. Gonna be hard , but I'm gonna tough it out
01-10-2020 03:30 PM
denverd1 Things went well while out of town. Walked into the same bar/restaurant where I spent 500 over a few days to have dinner. Had 3 servers approach me within 60 seconds. I said, "no thanks, meeting a friend for dinner". Had dinner then worked out and called it a day.

Had a long day yesterday between conference and travel. I gave myself 3 hours to kill when I setup travel a month ago, would've spent that time drinking. Felt really stupid trying kill that time in the airport. But I did it. Nothing on the longish flight home, got more work done.

Decided to have a beer when I got home. Felt good to actually enjoy it. I consider all this a huge win. Don't feel like I fell off the wagon or whatever, just look at drinking differently now.

7 days. 1 beer. Haven't done that in over 2 decades.

Now my wife, who is a big reason why I stopped, wants to have the drunkest friends we know over tonight. Tad nervous.


Keep an eye on the classifieds
Wife for sale CHEAP
Cooks, cleans and does other wife duties.
NO TRADES

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01-07-2020 02:47 PM
H8DWINGS
Quote:
Originally Posted by 78bronco460 View Post
Iím not judging your motivations. I just misunderstood what you wrote and thought ďThatís a new oneĒ for all the reasons Iíve heard of people quitting alcohol. Some are hilarious, some sad, some delusional, they all work for the person and thatís all that matters. I donít accept you apology because thereís nothing to apologize for. Keep going, you seem to be doing much better since you quit drinking.
At least now the stupid decisions I make I remember and enter with a clear state of mind. Plus they aren't as stupid when they're actually possible.
01-07-2020 10:55 AM
78bronco460
Quote:
Originally Posted by H8DWINGS View Post
I never said I miss the hangovers. I said occasionally I want to get drunk again. The "I shouldn't have done this" hangover is associated with the level of drunk I'd get and a reminder of why I quit drinking in the first place. I quit speeding because I didn't want to pay speeding tickets but occasionally I go 75 in a 70 knowing I could get another ticket and pay that "I shouldn't have done this" fee. Same thing. Sorry I wasn't miserable or my life wasn't spiraling out of control when I decided to quit drinking.


I did have a friend ask me if I still wasn't drinking. I don't think it has clicked with him that I've actually quit almost 7 months ago and it wasn't just for running. It's actually a lifestyle change and I don't drink. Same guy when I talk to him about going for a run after sailing talks about how he'll miss evening drinks if he does that. "I'm sure there will be some left when you get back. Bring that $45 bottle you just sounded so excited to buy and drink that."
Iím not judging your motivations. I just misunderstood what you wrote and thought ďThatís a new oneĒ for all the reasons Iíve heard of people quitting alcohol. Some are hilarious, some sad, some delusional, they all work for the person and thatís all that matters. I donít accept you apology because thereís nothing to apologize for. Keep going, you seem to be doing much better since you quit drinking.
01-07-2020 10:52 AM
H8DWINGS I think he was only asking because I was so focused on getting my sub 3 marathon time and I'd quit for the race in April. I've never told him "I have 100% quit drinking alcohol because _____" so either he hasn't figured out I'm 100% "out of the game" or just thinks it's another streak like running for 49 days straight. The occasional "how long has it been" is almost like a KOH build or like being asked "how long has it been since you wheeled?"

Are you now the equivalent of the "vegan/vegetarian/I always get those two confused" friend who has food restrictions? "we're accomidating to ALL types of people." At least they made an effort. I kind of realized how "different" I treated alcohol when my wife scheduled a dinner with her coworkers and kids at our house, they're all "not drinking" and I'm half joking saying how it wont be fun knowing full well I'd be throwing back a 6 pack without any thought of what her coworkers would think. I'd be the only one drinking that much even if I had what everyone liked.


I occasionally come up with a good analogy. Heck, when you find someone else isn't drinking it's like this magical connection of "oh you're one too? I'm not the only one of my kind here? cool."
01-07-2020 10:32 AM
COcamper H8DWINGS- I don't know when it happened, but I guess I'm past the point of people asking me if I'm still not drinking, I don't remember the last time I was asked that. I do get the occasional "so how long has been" question. I thought it was kind of interesting this holiday season, every party I went to at a friends house, they made it a point to show me the non-alcoholic options they had, it was almost as if they were "proud" they had those options... I thanked them, and since they are my friends, I took the opportunity to let them know they don't have to go out of their way for me, most houses around here have running water in them!

Good analogy with the "new kid at school", you think everyone is looking at you and wondering, but really no one gives a shit!
01-07-2020 10:12 AM
denverd1
Quote:
Originally Posted by H8DWINGS View Post
It feels weird in the beginning. Almost like you're a new kid at school and you're trying to find what group of friends you're going to hang out with. I'm sure there are plenty of people who hang out at the hotel bar and drink soda. Everyone probably assumes it's a mixed drink because THEY'RE drinking and the concept of not drinking at a hotel bar is like hanging out at a coffee shop but not drinking coffee to them. Plenty of people hang out at coffee shops for the atmosphere and free internet.

Working out in the morning helped me stick with it. Pretty easy to roll out of bed early when I didn't drink a 6 pack in the hotel the night before. It's something I'm slightly concerned with if I get a new job at work that would involve travel. Upside, I'd be the sober one to start driving home early Friday morning when the other guys guys/girls get hammered all night.
that helps. thx
01-07-2020 09:54 AM
H8DWINGS
Quote:
Originally Posted by denverd1 View Post
well, I've joined the club. Nothing for 4 days. myriad reasons why, my marriage seems top of the list, just trying to stay off the drink for a while. similar to OP, not sure if that's a few weeks, 30 days or longer.

still have liquor in the house and booze in the fridge. bit nervous about going out of town this afternoon. last time I spent a lot of time at the hotel bar out of boredom. taking a few books and my workout clothes and will have plenty to do if I can stay focused.

I've always said I only drank for the social aspects of it, not necessarily to get drunk. we'll see how I handle some alone time.
It feels weird in the beginning. Almost like you're a new kid at school and you're trying to find what group of friends you're going to hang out with. I'm sure there are plenty of people who hang out at the hotel bar and drink soda. Everyone probably assumes it's a mixed drink because THEY'RE drinking and the concept of not drinking at a hotel bar is like hanging out at a coffee shop but not drinking coffee to them. Plenty of people hang out at coffee shops for the atmosphere and free internet.

Working out in the morning helped me stick with it. Pretty easy to roll out of bed early when I didn't drink a 6 pack in the hotel the night before. It's something I'm slightly concerned with if I get a new job at work that would involve travel. Upside, I'd be the sober one to start driving home early Friday morning when the other guys guys/girls get hammered all night.
01-07-2020 09:50 AM
H8DWINGS
Quote:
Originally Posted by 78bronco460 View Post
You quit drinking because you were having a great day, but you miss the hangovers? Thatís unusual.
I never said I miss the hangovers. I said occasionally I want to get drunk again. The "I shouldn't have done this" hangover is associated with the level of drunk I'd get and a reminder of why I quit drinking in the first place. I quit speeding because I didn't want to pay speeding tickets but occasionally I go 75 in a 70 knowing I could get another ticket and pay that "I shouldn't have done this" fee. Same thing. Sorry I wasn't miserable or my life wasn't spiraling out of control when I decided to quit drinking.


I did have a friend ask me if I still wasn't drinking. I don't think it has clicked with him that I've actually quit almost 7 months ago and it wasn't just for running. It's actually a lifestyle change and I don't drink. Same guy when I talk to him about going for a run after sailing talks about how he'll miss evening drinks if he does that. "I'm sure there will be some left when you get back. Bring that $45 bottle you just sounded so excited to buy and drink that."
01-07-2020 08:51 AM
COcamper
Quote:
Originally Posted by comeonstart View Post
Little over 3 years for me. At 31 I am on the verge of being under 200lbs again (6í1Ē). I haven't been there since I was 18. Occasionally I still miss the taste of beer, which I use NA beer for. I do not miss the alcohol at all.
Congrats on the 3 year mark!

Quote:
Originally Posted by denverd1 View Post
well, I've joined the club. Nothing for 4 days. myriad reasons why, my marriage seems top of the list, just trying to stay off the drink for a while. similar to OP, not sure if that's a few weeks, 30 days or longer.

still have liquor in the house and booze in the fridge. bit nervous about going out of town this afternoon. last time I spent a lot of time at the hotel bar out of boredom. taking a few books and my workout clothes and will have plenty to do if I can stay focused.

I've always said I only drank for the social aspects of it, not necessarily to get drunk. we'll see how I handle some alone time.
Welcome to the "club". As you have read in this thread, the door is always open in this "clubhouse". As many have said, if you need or want to BS to take your mind off a drink, feel free to PM a number or ask for mine, I can BS with the best of them! I'm still pretty new to this myself, and I know it won't be easy, but I've learned the reward is well worth it.
01-07-2020 08:23 AM
denverd1 well, I've joined the club. Nothing for 4 days. myriad reasons why, my marriage seems top of the list, just trying to stay off the drink for a while. similar to OP, not sure if that's a few weeks, 30 days or longer.

still have liquor in the house and booze in the fridge. bit nervous about going out of town this afternoon. last time I spent a lot of time at the hotel bar out of boredom. taking a few books and my workout clothes and will have plenty to do if I can stay focused.

I've always said I only drank for the social aspects of it, not necessarily to get drunk. we'll see how I handle some alone time.
01-07-2020 06:48 AM
comeonstart Little over 3 years for me. At 31 I am on the verge of being under 200lbs again (6’1”). I haven't been there since I was 18. Occasionally I still miss the taste of beer, which I use NA beer for. I do not miss the alcohol at all.
01-07-2020 06:42 AM
78bronco460
Quote:
Originally Posted by H8DWINGS View Post
I'd like to think I was having a pretty good day when I quit drinking. I just woke up and decided I was done with it. Occasionally I want to go back and get hammered and feel that "I shouldn't have done this" hangover. Most of the time the streak is more important to me than getting drunk. Plus it seems like I have less and less time these days and spending any of that time getting drunk just doesn't seem possible.
You quit drinking because you were having a great day, but you miss the hangovers? Thatís unusual.
01-07-2020 06:35 AM
crispins I am trudging along.

Feeling normal again but also feeling bored again.

I am staying busy, I work in my shop most days or run errands.

Also being the rainy season and cold there is not much I can do outside which are my favorite activities.

I have been working to get my new business started which has been keeping me a bit busy as well.

I'd love to have a couple cold beers, just a couple. Would be great.

I am not going to.

I have lost a few lbs since I stopped drinking, which is great.

I finally got on the scale the other day, I gained back 45 lbs of the almost 100 I lost. That is also some big motivation for me.

I was very happy with how I was looking and that is what I want back very much.

Just for today I won't have a drink.
01-06-2020 10:02 PM
H8DWINGS
Quote:
Originally Posted by jake/brake View Post
my doctor told me "no one who pounds icehouses could be a happy person".....
Get a different doctor.
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