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Topic Review (Newest First)
06-14-2019 01:31 PM
H8DWINGS
Quote:
Originally Posted by 78bronco460 View Post
I tried replacing alcohol with weed a long time ago, and it was a complete failure. I was trying to replace that warm euphoria of alcohol and it just made me dumb enough to get drunk again. Not judging you, just giving you my experience. Nothing can replace alcohol for me. I just had to learn to live without it.
This is what I'm expecting. I'm also curious if I'd get the same "addiction" to it if I continued, or if I'd be able to put it down like a cigarette. Just buying the stuff still seems odd.

I'm happy without it. Heck I'm going wheeling for the first time (hopefully) into Rubicon next weekend. I just spent $400 for a locker, tow strap, shackles, 2 1310 u joints and strap kits from Summit. I don't exactly have money for much else since I'm (somewhat) smart about using my credit card.

EDIT: 4 weeks and 1 day today. Tried THC and I don't like it. As other said it just seemed like a substitute.
06-14-2019 10:49 AM
fredycruger
Quote:
Originally Posted by 78bronco460 View Post
I liked it when all the dudes would smoke it till they passed out at parties, Id drink all their beer and play with their girlfriends.
06-14-2019 09:24 AM
78bronco460
Quote:
Originally Posted by fredycruger View Post
i had noticed alcoholics, pill abusers /crackheads dont like weed
I liked it when all the dudes would smoke it till they passed out at parties, Id drink all their beer and play with their girlfriends.
06-14-2019 05:31 AM
fredycruger i had noticed alcoholics, pill abusers /crackheads dont like weed
06-13-2019 07:16 PM
78bronco460
Quote:
Originally Posted by H8DWINGS View Post
3 weeks and 3 days. I thought it was at least a month at this point. A month is a few days after Fathers Day weekend. This week my wife is in Mexico so I'm "single dad" with grandma watching my son during the day. I got my alternator reinstalled in my 89 Cherokee again (for the 4th time) after doing it wrong for 5 hours. Apparently they timing chain is held in by studs that hold the bracket for the alternator on by studs. I wasn't even drinking when I took it apart either. Just not paying attention.


Tried CBDs and not much happened. Tried a THC edible (candy bar). Both times treated it like it was hard liquor and double digit THC = double digit alcohol because my brain said that was normal. Not really my thing. Might try it again if I'm feeling rich. Shit aint cheap compared to beer. If anyone has strains or suggestions I'm open to it but I highly (no pun intended) it can match the feeling of being drunk stumbling around the house or blankly staring at the television or talking shit on the internet thinking it's funny.

Oh and I'm helping pace a friend through Western States 100 weekend. Oh and I kind of recognize how much other people want things their way and never want to change/admit they're wrong now. Weird shit happens when you're sober.
I tried replacing alcohol with weed a long time ago, and it was a complete failure. I was trying to replace that warm euphoria of alcohol and it just made me dumb enough to get drunk again. Not judging you, just giving you my experience. Nothing can replace alcohol for me. I just had to learn to live without it.
06-13-2019 12:55 PM
H8DWINGS 3 weeks and 3 days. I thought it was at least a month at this point. A month is a few days after Fathers Day weekend. This week my wife is in Mexico so I'm "single dad" with grandma watching my son during the day. I got my alternator reinstalled in my 89 Cherokee again (for the 4th time) after doing it wrong for 5 hours. Apparently they timing chain is held in by studs that hold the bracket for the alternator on by studs. I wasn't even drinking when I took it apart either. Just not paying attention.


Tried CBDs and not much happened. Tried a THC edible (candy bar). Both times treated it like it was hard liquor and double digit THC = double digit alcohol because my brain said that was normal. Not really my thing. Might try it again if I'm feeling rich. Shit aint cheap compared to beer. If anyone has strains or suggestions I'm open to it but I highly (no pun intended) it can match the feeling of being drunk stumbling around the house or blankly staring at the television or talking shit on the internet thinking it's funny.

Oh and I'm helping pace a friend through Western States 100 weekend. Oh and I kind of recognize how much other people want things their way and never want to change/admit they're wrong now. Weird shit happens when you're sober.
06-03-2019 02:09 PM
Jeff09 Hi Everyone,

Congrats to everyone who chose to make this big step, and thoughts of strength as you make your new path.

Today is 23 years sober for me. As others have said... I'd love to see if anything has changed with my drinking problem being that it's been that long. I know based on past failures that it would be a big mistake for me. I'm just not wired the same as other people, and normal drinking is not something I could ever count on.

Every stupid thing I ever did was somehow related to drinking. I'm blessed having been given the strength to start this journey... and to continue it.

To those who are just getting started, it gets better with time.

Good luck to all of you. And thanks to everyone who posts to support their efforts.

Jeff
06-03-2019 07:48 AM
H8DWINGS
Quote:
Originally Posted by CJF View Post
Not going to lie. I kind of thought it was funny when I went to dinner with the wife and father in law. They both got a beer (wife actually gave me her order in case she missed the waitress) and I ordered a soda. Part of me though "If I was a waiter I'd think 'he must be the driver'" since we were near a movie theater, but also "oh this guy probably doesn't drink." I also spent 12 hours replacing the timing chain and thought about how much worse it would be if I was drinking beers during the process. Heck, I'm probably LESS sore today and yesterday from climbing all over the jeep than I would be if I'd drank my weight in beer.

Oh and I missed a cool local beer party event in a park PLUS some "rare bottle' share I could have joined with some stuff I had. This weekend is camping with people I have a feeling will throw out the "oh now you're not drinking again? Are you training?" nonsense and I'll just reply with "no I just don't feel like a beer/drink right now. Is that okay, or do I need to have one so you won't comment or focus on what I'm drinking?"

I'm still waiting for the chance to pick up my wife, and maybe her girlfriends, after a "girls night now" where they all get shitty (but that fun/happy shitty, not sad shitty) and drive them home. She's pretty funny/fun when she gets there.
05-31-2019 02:25 PM
CJF
Quote:
Originally Posted by H8DWINGS View Post
Oh and the wife knows she could get plastered and I could get her. So I got that going for me.
05-31-2019 02:07 PM
H8DWINGS
Quote:
Originally Posted by COcamper View Post
Here's to a Friday night without booze to all my fellow quitters and those that want to. Stay strong and enjoy the morning!
This isn't the "Friday Night Losers" thread.

I get to wake up and get the timing chain for my cherokee tomorrow. Oh and the wife knows she could get plastered and I could get her. So I got that going for me.
05-31-2019 12:37 PM
COcamper H8DWINGS- thanks. It was kind of weird to see 500 days pop up when I googled "how many days since 1.15.2018". I really had no idea. Maybe it will be another 500 days before I google that again...

East_Beast- Yes, I do believe genetics plays a big role in it. I come from a long line of heavy drinkers, that is no excuse, just reality. If I was smart, I would have recognized that long ago and made changes.

Tin Roof- Good for your son and I hope he can keep on the path he is on. It sounds like he is already seeing the benefits and that makes it easier. Tough situation with your wife and I can relate more than I wish I could. I know the FOMA (fear of missing alcohol) is very real and very strong for my wife.

Mudd- dust off a project, it doesn't matter what it is, and get busy with it. It will keep you busy and keep your mind off having a drink. Hell, I started cleaning out my garage one night shortly after I quit, think it was close to 2am and I had to force myself to stop and I never really thought about a drink because I as so busy finding shit! I can not believe how much I have gotten done since I quit because I don't sit idle with a drink in my hand. My garage fridge is well stocked with alcohol and I see it every day. For me, when I reach around a beer to grab a seltzer water, that's a small victory that only I get to celebrate.

Here's to a Friday night without booze to all my fellow quitters and those that want to. Stay strong and enjoy the morning!
05-31-2019 12:19 PM
CJF
Quote:
Originally Posted by muddeprived View Post
I am not someone who drinks till they drop, nor do I drink out of control.

I call myself an alcoholic cuz I do or want to do this everyday and my body hurts from doing it for so long.

I would like to stop and I am gonna try again. I guess I gotta somehow keep myself occupied and stay out cuz I the only place I drink is at home.
That's pretty much me to a "T".
05-31-2019 12:06 PM
H8DWINGS
Quote:
Originally Posted by muddeprived View Post
I been avoiding posting here since my last one whenever the heck that was. I did stop for a few months then my ex moved out and I started up again.

I would like to stop and I am gonna try again. I guess I gotta somehow keep myself occupied and stay out cuz I the only place I drink is at home.
I'd just stay away from the ex.

Just do like everyone else here does. Look at how long it's been. Think of the streak you have going. What's the longest you've done anything? How many things have you quit? Getting old sucks. It kind of sucks admitting you've been doing it wrong for a while too. If you only drink at home just quit buying booze. I quit smoking because I quit buying cigarettes. The hard part of that was turning friends down when they asked if I wanted a smoke. Somehow drinking, or not drinking, is easier. It's just the shitty days I have at work where I can "get away from it all" for a few hours of drinking and maybe bring a smile to my face that get hard for me for the first few times they come up. I even told my wife so. "I could make all of this go away for a few hours and not have to deal with it." Doesn't change it happening or it going on. Might even help me deal with a family member death in the future because I watched my uncle drink it away when his dad died.
05-31-2019 11:56 AM
muddeprived I been avoiding posting here since my last one whenever the heck that was. I did stop for a few months then my ex moved out and I started up again.

I am not someone who drinks till they drop, nor do I drink out of control. I sorta like the buzz and challenge it brings when I do stuff. My drink is Rum with Mist (50/50) and I can do 2 or 3 cups. I always eat and drink plenty of water before I end the day to avoid avoid hangovers.

I call myself an alcoholic cuz I do or want to do this everyday and my body hurts from doing it for so long. I think it has been around 12 years now. I go a week without sometimes and justify starting up again since I went so long without it.

I would like to stop and I am gonna try again. I guess I gotta somehow keep myself occupied and stay out cuz I the only place I drink is at home.
05-31-2019 10:03 AM
Tin Roof
Quote:
Originally Posted by H8DWINGS View Post
Go help the kid with his house stuff Friday nights. I'm sure he could use the help.

As for the wife...sounds familiar. Sounds like you're in my wife's shoes. Thankfully I don't have stairs or I'd have neck injuries from my wife pushing me for doing dumb shit drunk. The phrase "I love you except when you're drunk. I hate you when you're drunk." kind of sucked hearing...multiple times.
Thankfully I've never gone to the doctor and had them tell me to quit or else I'd probably avoid the doctor.
I may have said that wrong, we have stuff to do, it's just getting him out of the habit of being a recluse. He's been doing better though.

The two worst falls the wife had: 1- this is by far the worst one, the kids watched her tumble down the steps in the garage, 14 steps, without even trying to stop herself. None of us can believe she didn't break her neck, or end up crushing her skull on the concrete. The damage from that one is still lingering, and she goes to the dr or chiro a few times a year to get her neck checked. 2- I was in the garage and she was going to bed. I heard a loud crash and went in the house to see what it was. She was laying on the floor at the bottom of the second floor steps unconscious. There was a kitchen chair close to the bottom of the steps that she hit, which is what probably kept her from slamming her head on the tile floor. I don't know how many steps she fell. I don't think she remembers anything about either one of these.
My wife has a lot of health issues, and no doubt most of them are worse because of her drinking. She doesn't tell me when her dr appt's are because I have told her multiple times that I want to go along and let the dr know how much she drinks.
05-31-2019 09:49 AM
H8DWINGS
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tin Roof View Post
I drink on average two nights a week. Friday night I decompress and usually hit it pretty hard, usually with some friends in the driveway, one night a week I'll have a few with the Mrs. The wife, I have no idea how often she drinks, but according to the kids she hides it and it's almost every day. Her family has a long history of addiction problems, and she absolutely refuses to quit, ever. Or to even talk about it. She's a "run out or pass out" drinker, and has long term neck issues from falling down the stairs multiple times when she's drunk. I've given up on her ever changing, and just focus on me and the kids.
Go help the kid with his house stuff Friday nights. I'm sure he could use the help.

As for the wife...sounds familiar. Sounds like you're in my wife's shoes. Thankfully I don't have stairs or I'd have neck injuries from my wife pushing me for doing dumb shit drunk. The phrase "I love you except when you're drunk. I hate you when you're drunk." kind of sucked hearing...multiple times.
Thankfully I've never gone to the doctor and had them tell me to quit or else I'd probably avoid the doctor.
05-31-2019 09:35 AM
Tin Roof
Quote:
Originally Posted by H8DWINGS View Post
He could exercise after work when most people are drinking. I PERSONALLY don't have a problem hanging out around people drinking. If hanging out with friends while they drink is a problem don't do it. If they want to hang out at the bars/clubs/lake drinking and your son can handle it without feeling peer pressure go do that. Also, buy a jeep like I did....the money will disappear again I've kind of always enjoyed working out. Maybe he likes to workout, or do a triathlon, or run, or hike and camp. I've never been to Iowa so if I moved there I'd have to make friends and find stuff to do. What would you tell me to do in your area other than drink beer and watch movies?
https://www.runningintheusa.com/race/list/ia/page-6 in case you want to do a run or triathlon.
UltraSignup - Races, Registration and Results will have trail events if you're more into that. Maybe staying up all dat and night running/walking is just as much fun as drinking until 5am. I mean....you're going to feel like a useless piece of shit the next morning anyways...might as well get an actual medal for it.

AS for the wife, well that's a totally different thing. I'm sure hanging out with your son cuts down on YOUR drinking. Maybe you're similar to me and you binge drink. Go a week, money, year, or 500 days without drinking but when you start it's back to drinking ALL the drink. Maybe the wife is uncomfortable for the reasons mentioned here. Fear of missing alcohol, fear of admitting you have a problem you can't control, or fear of losing friends who drink because you think you have to have all new friends who don't drink. I'm at least a good respectable alcoholic and I don't call people out for drinking too much, or drink their booze. I even found it easy to pack sodas or sparkling water with me to family dinners, then start "stockpiling" my stuff at family member's homes. Everone seems to have a spare fridge so I throw 4-6 drinks in there for me and most of the time the people who live there won't drink it.
He has a '76 blazer that keeps him busy, and two yellow labs. He has started to do some home projects, and has a nice house with a big garage on a double corner lot, so he has plenty of mowing and yard work to do. All of which are things he didn't take care of very well when he was drinking. He actually had someone stop by his house and trim his front bushes last year, because they were sick of how shitty they looked....

I drink on average two nights a week. Friday night I decompress and usually hit it pretty hard, usually with some friends in the driveway, one night a week I'll have a few with the Mrs. The wife, I have no idea how often she drinks, but according to the kids she hides it and it's almost every day. Her family has a long history of addiction problems, and she absolutely refuses to quit, ever. Or to even talk about it. She's a "run out or pass out" drinker, and has long term neck issues from falling down the stairs multiple times when she's drunk. I've given up on her ever changing, and just focus on me and the kids.
05-31-2019 09:13 AM
H8DWINGS
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tin Roof View Post
It's been almost two months, and he's still alcohol free and loving it. He said he feels so much better and is definitely saving money. He's still hanging out with a couple of his close friends that stuck with him when he was at his worst, and is their DD now. I've been trying to think of things we can do that don't involve drinking to keep him from sitting in his house like a hermit.

I have my fingers crossed that this will be long term. What's funny, is it makes my wife uncomfortable. She doesn't even like talking about it. My oldest 2 kids have been on her for years to quit drinking.
He could exercise after work when most people are drinking. I PERSONALLY don't have a problem hanging out around people drinking. If hanging out with friends while they drink is a problem don't do it. If they want to hang out at the bars/clubs/lake drinking and your son can handle it without feeling peer pressure go do that. Also, buy a jeep like I did....the money will disappear again I've kind of always enjoyed working out. Maybe he likes to workout, or do a triathlon, or run, or hike and camp. I've never been to Iowa so if I moved there I'd have to make friends and find stuff to do. What would you tell me to do in your area other than drink beer and watch movies?
https://www.runningintheusa.com/race/list/ia/page-6 in case you want to do a run or triathlon.
UltraSignup - Races, Registration and Results will have trail events if you're more into that. Maybe staying up all dat and night running/walking is just as much fun as drinking until 5am. I mean....you're going to feel like a useless piece of shit the next morning anyways...might as well get an actual medal for it.

AS for the wife, well that's a totally different thing. I'm sure hanging out with your son cuts down on YOUR drinking. Maybe you're similar to me and you binge drink. Go a week, money, year, or 500 days without drinking but when you start it's back to drinking ALL the drink. Maybe the wife is uncomfortable for the reasons mentioned here. Fear of missing alcohol, fear of admitting you have a problem you can't control, or fear of losing friends who drink because you think you have to have all new friends who don't drink. I'm at least a good respectable alcoholic and I don't call people out for drinking too much, or drink their booze. I even found it easy to pack sodas or sparkling water with me to family dinners, then start "stockpiling" my stuff at family member's homes. Everone seems to have a spare fridge so I throw 4-6 drinks in there for me and most of the time the people who live there won't drink it.
05-31-2019 08:44 AM
Tin Roof Our oldest son (26) had a stroke two years ago. He doesn't have any physical side affects, but does have some psychological side affects. Memory loss, personality changes, depression, are the most obvious. He drank a lot before the stroke, but fell down a rabbit hole afterwards. He was drinking a lot thinking he was battling his depression, but we all know how that works. He would get to the point that he'd have to be carried out of bars, driven home, and carried into his house. Some of his friends quit calling him to hang out because they were sick of babysitting him. He's never come out and said, but we assume he was drinking to almost blackout drunk every night. I've been trying to get him to quit, or at the very least make an attempt to cut back, with no luck.

Back up to about two months ago, he has bad stomach pain for a few days and finally goes to the dr. Long story short, his tests show that he's having liver issues. The dr tells him he has to quit drinking, or his liver is going to fail. That flips a switch in his brain, and he decides to quit cold turkey.

Now, keep in mind, we live in a very drinking driven rural area. It seems like everything involves or revolves around drinking. My wife has been fighting alcoholism for years, and I will admit I drink too much at times also. Quitting is no easy task without major lifestyle changes.

It's been almost two months, and he's still alcohol free and loving it. He said he feels so much better and is definitely saving money. He's still hanging out with a couple of his close friends that stuck with him when he was at his worst, and is their DD now. I've been trying to think of things we can do that don't involve drinking to keep him from sitting in his house like a hermit. Last Friday night I took him and my youngest son to see John Wick 3. I convinced him to start cutting wood from our timber to sell at his house in town on an honor system for campers. Anything to keep him busy.

I have my fingers crossed that this will be long term. What's funny, is it makes my wife uncomfortable. She doesn't even like talking about it. My oldest 2 kids have been on her for years to quit drinking.
05-31-2019 07:59 AM
H8DWINGS Tried CBD last weekend. It has a small percentage of THC. Not even close to the same feeling and after having all 10 over 3-4 hours (I treated it as if I was drinking liquor, and had never drank ever before) I got a LITTLE high after I had my last ones. Exactly what I remember about being high. Not anything like I expected. Wife was fine with me trying it. It was $41 for all 10 and really didn't do anything. At least I didn't wake up feeling like garbage.

Umm....6 days strong? I think I quit again the weekend before Memorial Day weekend.

edit: Good job CO. 500 days is probably a big milestone. I know a runner who says 100 is the first major one then it's working to 1,000 days (of running) that becomes the next milestone but I'd say 500 is halfway there so it's a good step.

east: It's probably the same genetic component that makes people addicted to gambling/video games. I have video games and could gamble at almost any gas station in the State. I have a casino about 10 minutes from the house I could go to. Heck even the grocery store has slot machines. I drive right past those. Good job keeping it at 3. I can't do that. I'll drink three, not get a buzz and think "what is the point", OR more often I get a good buzz started and say "fuck it lets do this!"
05-30-2019 11:57 AM
east_beast There has to be a huge genetic component to alcoholism. Just lost a college buddy who literally drank himself to death. A ton of of other old friends have had to go sober. I don't think I'm any better or any more disciplined than those guys, I just grew out of it. I didn't make any plans to do it, I just got tired of being hangover half the time so I stopped getting drunk. I still drink but having three beers is a wild night for me these days. I have beer in the fridge and haven't had one in three days. Not because of any resolution or really any thought into the matter, I just haven't. The only thing that makes sense to me is that there's simply something different genetically where alcohol just doesn't get it's hooks into me like it did them.
05-30-2019 11:40 AM
COcamper Catching up on this thread as I hadn't read it in a while.

I stopped counting days after I hit the 1 year mark, actually before that, but I still kept a paper calendar at my desk and would mark the days off when I thought of it. Just added them up again (actually let Google calculate it for me) and today is day 500. Wow, that feels pretty good to type out.

I will state the obvious, I couldn't get to day 500 without starting someplace.

Like many others, I have quit before (2.5 years), convinced myself I was a changed man, and, like many others, fell right back into my old ways. I couldn't see it as I was enjoying my long lost buddy- booze, but it was destroying everything I loved.

No point to my rambling above, just dropping in to say- stay strong and yes, YOU can do it if YOU want to do it.
05-29-2019 05:36 PM
Alfred W.
Quote:
Originally Posted by yotasmob View Post
Fuck. I know. I owe you all an update. Its been a minute.





Yeah. In my three final years of drinking before achieving two full years without drinking, I had many 30, 60, 90 day attempts.

I would start feeling good. Decide to try and moderate my drinking.

It didn't work. I would slip right back to where I was in a matter of weeks or months at most.

I know what it looked like to research early in sobriety. I can't imagine what would happen to me if I tried to go back out now. I had to overcome a lot of FEAR to get sober. All kinds of fears I never knew were dominating my thinking.

But now, the only real fear I have left is a fear of what I will do to myself, and my life, if I drink again. Its a healthy fear to have, and one I am glad I have.

If you slip and go back out, its ok. I tried to quit drinking starting in 2013. It took me until 2017 to get it to stick. But I didn't give up. Now you know the consequences of what happens when you revert back to old behavior. You slip and slide right back to where you were. Remember it. And keep trying.

Some of us are just wired differently. We can go years or decades without alcohol causing significant problems. Then one day, it stops working as intended. It becomes a problem. And no matter how much we try, we can't drink like other people.

Seriously the first 15 years of staying sober were really fucked up.
I believe NOTHING was going to get much better.
Get up a little and get knocked flat on my ass, over and over.
I learned allot.
The last 15 years have been better than my wildest fantasies.
It will get better, but you have to let it.
Good luck.
05-29-2019 04:13 PM
Alfred W.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Joe_W View Post
how'd you do?
I did fucking great!
05-25-2019 04:20 PM
yotasmob
Quote:
Originally Posted by stjames151 View Post
Where’s the formicarium update fucker?
Fuck. I know. I owe you all an update. Its been a minute.

Quote:
Originally Posted by crispins View Post
Well I fucked up I guess.

After right around 18 mths without a drink I thought it would be a fine idea to have a couple 'now and then'

Well that turned into about 5 weeks of drinking almost everyday and gaining damn near 20 lbs.

Fuck that, felt like total shit.

Went back to eating right and not drinking, feeling much better already.

I guess it was a bit of a wake up and confirmation that I really can't drink like normal people.

Shit is shitty but it is what it is.

Fuck drinking!
Quote:
Originally Posted by 78bronco460 View Post
You did some “research” and found out what many of us have: you keep doing what you always did, you keep getting what you always got. What amazes me is how after a substantial time of being sober how quickly I could get to where I left off or worse. Welcome back.
Yeah. In my three final years of drinking before achieving two full years without drinking, I had many 30, 60, 90 day attempts.

I would start feeling good. Decide to try and moderate my drinking.

It didn't work. I would slip right back to where I was in a matter of weeks or months at most.

I know what it looked like to research early in sobriety. I can't imagine what would happen to me if I tried to go back out now. I had to overcome a lot of FEAR to get sober. All kinds of fears I never knew were dominating my thinking.

But now, the only real fear I have left is a fear of what I will do to myself, and my life, if I drink again. Its a healthy fear to have, and one I am glad I have.

If you slip and go back out, its ok. I tried to quit drinking starting in 2013. It took me until 2017 to get it to stick. But I didn't give up. Now you know the consequences of what happens when you revert back to old behavior. You slip and slide right back to where you were. Remember it. And keep trying.

Some of us are just wired differently. We can go years or decades without alcohol causing significant problems. Then one day, it stops working as intended. It becomes a problem. And no matter how much we try, we can't drink like other people.
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