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Staying a drunk the rest of your life... your choice.

I suspect that if you removed alcohol, that you'd have a better home life. It may take a bit for her to "trust" you and that may very well be the root of y'alls issues.... maybe not. But even if y'all don't figure out how to get along, sobriety is a good choice.
Agreed, and maybe that's what I needed to hear. I'm trying to hold onto the drunk life style, and just don't want to admit it to myself. It's easier to point the blame at her and try to hold onto my old hobbies/friends, and only revolve them around beer. I know that making a decision to suddenly end our marriage while I'm so deep in this hole would not be a good move. I'd hate to make this rash decision, then sober up one day and realize that life would have been better with her. This shouldn't be a choice for me until I can actually give our marriage a try.

Sadly, my friends and some family have been encouraging me in a way to continue to place blame on her, and think she is the problem. Maybe they've just always known me as the drunk I was? Started pretty heavy when I was in highschool and continued until now. I'm 31. She just happened to come by and accept me when I was in my young 20's, and since then has always encouraged me to quit. No one else ever has.
 

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Do you want to quit?
Yes but no. It depends on the day and the time. If there's a chance that I get bored, all I can think about is drinking. I'm sick of feeling like shit though. I wish I could find a balance and be able to not crave it, or drink 12 when I just try to have 1 or 2.

In the meantime, I'm going to give this a try. I thank you all, for giving an outside unbiased perspective. I'm going to cancel going to KOH, and still take part of the week off from work to work on my garage. This way I can get my buggy back home. I'll be less likely to drink if I'm at home rather than at my shop. I'm also going to hand over my personal debit cards to my wife to hold for a while. I think this will help keep me from buying alcohol so easily. Only account I will be able to spend from is our joint accounts, and any cash that I may have, but I rarely carry cash. Hopefully this also gives me motivation to see how much money I save.
 

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The only thing I have to add is this "it's not a problem until you think it's a problem".
You have to be truthful with yourself. There is support out there when you decide you need someone to lean on. Best of luck.
 

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Yes but no. It depends on the day and the time. If there's a chance that I get bored, all I can think about is drinking. I'm sick of feeling like shit though. I wish I could find a balance and be able to not crave it, or drink 12 when I just try to have 1 or 2.

In the meantime, I'm going to give this a try. I thank you all, for giving an outside unbiased perspective. I'm going to cancel going to KOH, and still take part of the week off from work to work on my garage. This way I can get my buggy back home. I'll be less likely to drink if I'm at home rather than at my shop. I'm also going to hand over my personal debit cards to my wife to hold for a while. I think this will help keep me from buying alcohol so easily. Only account I will be able to spend from is our joint accounts, and any cash that I may have, but I rarely carry cash. Hopefully this also gives me motivation to see how much money I save.

Does it pain you to see your wife so upset? you do realize that she's in pain over fucking beer right?

I've always partied. part of my job is to throw parties. i go to festivals and have parties on the company dime. I've never felt that i NEEDED to drink, but i liked drinking. i could go days, weeks without drinking and it wouldn't be a big deal to me.

my big problem is that i have one drinking speed. I normally drink about 3-4 beers an hour. not a big deal if i'm only hanging out for an hour, but if i'm hanging out 5-6 hours at a time i got drunk. i never get hangovers so that wasn't a deterrent. I did often black out and then i'd get my foul mouth from New Jersey back and was funny/rude. finally, in December we went out for my birthday and i blacked out. the next day i didn't remember anything and my wife was pretty upset. i was a bit of dick, but most of all, she worries that i'll die in my sleep because i go out and drink so much at one time. she's especially worried when i'm on a trip and she's not there.

After thinking about it a bit and seeing her hurt so bad i knew i needed to change. No reason the love of my life should be that angry/upset/worried over some fucking beer. i decided that day that i am going to go through one season of my traveling (about 9 months) without drinking. It's a bit extreme, and my wife says i'm crazy for doing it, but until i learn to have just a few beers i'm not drinking any. i can't see her in that pain.
 

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I'm sick of feeling like shit though.

You can read what I have posted throughout this thread. I was pretty much in the same boat as you. What pushed me to stop was not my family asking, my wife asking, or my friends asking. I got up one morning and was sick and tired of being sick and tired.
 

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Decided to head down to my friends shop to hear the new KOH car fire for the first time. I decided to sit back and watch as there were already so many hands involved, and as a result decided to knock back a few beers. Told the wife I'd be home early, but that ended up being around 12 A.M. when I rolled through the door.
Maybe I'm wrong, but it sure reads like you're driving drunk on top of everything else?
 

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Might drink once or twice a week, killed a pint of jack last night with a friend, asleep by 11:30 and up at 5 feeling pretty shitty, head was good gut wasn't, water, bacon and eggs cured it should have made 3 or 4 instead of 2:laughing: before that Had 3 mixers last sat at the bar, no drinks tonight, but I enjoyed some all natural medicine.
 

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Anybody experience lack of motivation after stopping drinking?

Last week I just quit on Sunday, and went a week without a sip.

First few days were great! My stomach was feeling much better than normal, but then Friday rolled around, and I literally felt super depressed and had zero motivation..... Im normally super motivated and have tons of energy....


I ended up drinking alot friday night, and then saturday morning I got over the sleepyness and had it all back again...


Kind of freeky imo... Drinking makes me feel like shit, but when I stop doing it, I lose all motivation.....

Not good when I just started my own company...
 

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Anybody experience lack of motivation after stopping drinking?

Last week I just quit on Sunday, and went a week without a sip.

First few days were great! My stomach was feeling much better than normal, but then Friday rolled around, and I literally felt super depressed and had zero motivation..... Im normally super motivated and have tons of energy....


I ended up drinking alot friday night, and then saturday morning I got over the sleepyness and had it all back again...


Kind of freeky imo... Drinking makes me feel like shit, but when I stop doing it, I lose all motivation.....

Not good when I just started my own company...
Yeah, it's definitely harder to get out to the garage to work without a couple beers, especially if it's a job you really don't want to do. Couple beers helps get you in the mood. One of the hardest things I am dealing with. My projects are stacking up. Been going to the gym though so that is productive.
 
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