Agreed, and maybe that's what I needed to hear. I'm trying to hold onto the drunk life style, and just don't want to admit it to myself. It's easier to point the blame at her and try to hold onto my old hobbies/friends, and only revolve them around beer. I know that making a decision to suddenly end our marriage while I'm so deep in this hole would not be a good move. I'd hate to make this rash decision, then sober up one day and realize that life would have been better with her. This shouldn't be a choice for me until I can actually give our marriage a try.Staying a drunk the rest of your life... your choice.
I suspect that if you removed alcohol, that you'd have a better home life. It may take a bit for her to "trust" you and that may very well be the root of y'alls issues.... maybe not. But even if y'all don't figure out how to get along, sobriety is a good choice.
Sadly, my friends and some family have been encouraging me in a way to continue to place blame on her, and think she is the problem. Maybe they've just always known me as the drunk I was? Started pretty heavy when I was in highschool and continued until now. I'm 31. She just happened to come by and accept me when I was in my young 20's, and since then has always encouraged me to quit. No one else ever has.